Girl has stormed out

[john1234]

So I have been dating this girl for a few months now. Never argue all has been good, she has been staying round mine for like increasing days. Recently, she has been staying round longer days which is fine. This weekend she was round 4 nights and I asked her to go back home as usual as I am going to get busy soon. And she starts acting all weird and evenly just storms out.

Should I reply and what's going on? Cheers

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hard to say but you clearly are not setting up boundaries for this type of behavior properly.

Why is this girl you have only been dating a few months have 24/7 access to you and your place?

Too much too soon as you will likely find out quickly even if you smooth things out with her.

You should be seeing her 1 or 2 days a week at this point, not having her living at your house.

My advice is to slow things down and become more "busy". She needs to compete for your time. Things that are easy to come by intrinsically are less valuable.

 

[RickTheToad]

So I have been dating this girl for a few months now. Never argue all has been good, she has been staying round mine for like increasing days. Recently, she has been staying round longer days which is fine. This weekend she was round 4 nights and I asked her to go back home as usual as I am going to get busy soon. And she starts acting all weird and evenly just storms out.

Should I reply and what's going on? Cheers

Nothing.

 

[Toddz]

No don't reply, reach out, or do anything.

Her behavior after asking her to leave is a bit concerning though. Very childish and immature

 

[Barrister]

So I have been dating this girl for a few months now. Never argue all has been good, she has been staying round mine for like increasing days. Recently, she has been staying round longer days which is fine. This weekend she was round 4 nights and I asked her to go back home as usual as I am going to get busy soon. And she starts acting all weird and evenly just storms out.

Should I reply and what's going on? Cheers

I guess it depends on what kind of relationship this was. If it was the beginnings of LTR then you may consider trying to reach out to explain why you need your space. But if she is just a plate then no. Considering she is staying that many nights with you in a row this seems like something that is a little more serious than just a plate rotation though.

 

[Barrister]

No don't reply, reach out, or do anything.

Her behavior after asking her to leave is a bit concerning though. Very childish and immature

Not sure we can know this for sure. There is very little information here to label her childish and immature.

 

[john1234]

I guess it depends on what kind of relationship this was. If it was the beginnings of LTR then you may consider trying to reach out to explain why you need your space. But if she is just a plate then no. Considering she is staying that many nights with you in a row this seems like something that is a little more serious than just a plate rotation though.

It was building to that, and would say she was out of the plate zone but we were still treading slowly. You see it started as the odd day then 2days and then it's gotten more which I don't mind, with this covid we start working both from home which I can't do and need a break as I get busy and need my private time and time to plan ahead and stuff.

She literally stormed out and I have treated her good.

 

[Toddz]

Not sure we can know this for sure. There is very little information here to label her childish and immature.

Mmm reverse it. Let's say you were at your girls place and she politely asks you to leave because she has things to do and you react by being weird then storming out how would that be viewed as? Needy and repulsive.

OP do not reach out and attempt to fix her ****t* behavior. Let her come back and apologize.

 

[john1234]

Not sure we can know this for sure. There is very little information here to label her childish and immature.

She is 21, I'm older we get on well, since we met she messages me regularly and does commit to me, so I'm feeling to go into beta mode to patch up.but I don't think I should.

I'll accept her apology if she does reach out but she literally did not talk to me for 20 minutes then stormed out. This is felt like a big red flag

 

[Barrister]

Mmm reverse it. Let's say you were at your girls place and she politely asks you to leave because she has things to do and you react by being weird then storming out how would that be viewed as? Needy and repulsive.

OP do not reach out and attempt to fix her ****t* behavior. Let her come back and apologize.

I take your point. We’re men though. We’re wired differently. Most women if you’ve been having them stay at your house for nights on end aren’t going to react well when you tell them to get out of the house. Not saying it’s right - but if you’re hoping for something of longer duration than a multi month plate you probably need to do more.

Again, if she’s just a plate then I wouldn’t do anything. I agree.

 

[Lookatu]

This may go against the grain here...
Personally if she is past the plate phase and going into a LTR phase, I think it may be worth it to reach out and COMMUNICATE. I would emphasize this to HER. What SHE did does not equal good communication. And you need good communication in any relationship. You need to let HER know THAT.

If she's only 21, you could step up and be the better person by reaching out but you need to set boundaries and emphasize the communication aspect(so next time she talks instead of walks for no reason), lay down some basic rules, and spell out the consequences, and tell her to grow up and act more mature about any future conflicts/issues. You can still train 21yo's to be a better person so all isn't lost IMO.

 

[Tilex]

It's nothing to fuss over.
She'll get over it.

Next time use something in place of her leaving instead of bluntly telling her to "GET OUT".
Tell her you have work in the morning, or you have to volunteer at the fire department or volunteer at wherever. You can make anything up.
Tell her you're obligated by law to serve 200 hours of community service.
Tell her you have to coach a youth soccer league.
Tell her you're going to a Blizzard convention to play World of Warcraft with 10,000 people.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It was building to that, and would say she was out of the plate zone but we were still treading slowly. You see it started as the odd day then 2days and then it's gotten more which I don't mind, with this covid we start working both from home which I can't do and need a break as I get busy and need my private time and time to plan ahead and stuff.

She literally stormed out and I have treated her good.

That's part of the problem tho....you should mind.

 

[john1234]

It's nothing to fuss over.
She'll get over it.

Next time use something in place of her leaving instead of bluntly telling her to "GET OUT".
Tell her you have work in the morning, or you have to volunteer at the fire department or volunteer at wherever. You can make anything up.
Tell her you're obligated by law to serve 200 hours of community service.
Tell her you have to coach a youth soccer league.
Tell her you're going to a Blizzard convention to play World of Warcraft with 10,000 people.

I told it how it was, I tried to get her out the day before, told her that I will be getting busy and stuff. She ended up shagging and I made amendments to my plans and missed an appointment on the day. The next day I said from early and in a normal way that I'm going to be busy from xpm. And she was playing along then just at the end stormed out.

 

[john1234]

Hard to say but you clearly are not setting up boundaries for this type of behavior properly.

Why is this girl you have only been dating a few months have 24/7 access to you and your place?

Too much too soon as you will likely find out quickly even if you smooth things out with her.

You should be seeing her 1 or 2 days a week at this point, not having her living at your house.

My advice is to slow things down and become more "busy". She needs to compete for your time. Things that are easy to come by intrinsically are less valuable.

The issue is during covid lockdown you can hardly be busy and she has sussed it out. We all work from home.

If things were not in a covid state, I doubt we can even meet so frequently. I agree it's too frequent.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The issue is during civid lockdown you can hardly be busy and she has sussed it out. We all work from home.

Really? You can't read books, do self improvement projects, workouts, have some time to yourself to relax etc etc etc?

So you basically are letting her control what you do?

She stormed out because she has been in control all this time and you took it away, so like a spoiled little brat she threw a temper tantrum because she didn't get what she wanted like she did every other time.

This is a power play to see how much you will let her control you. The more you do the less attractive you become.

You need to wait for her to come back to you and then sit her down and have a discussion about what you deem to be acceptable behavior regarding your time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why is she spending days at your house?

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

if you reach out she has the power, if you do nothing you have the power and it will drive her nuts you dont care enough to chase after her

 

[john1234]

Oh well she was always interested, very stupid behaviour

 

[john1234]

She literally is pissed, she has not even messaged and she always did good coms.

I honestly can't stand drama at my age. I'm going to call it a day and I guess thinking it would go into a LTR was optimistic and this is my answer.

Should I just block her and move on?