What should I do?

[andreihaha]

Here's my thoughts on the matter:
1) You drove a few hours to meet her so she felt obligated to invite you into her bed. Maybe she felt it like the fantasy scenario involving a passionate ONS with a stranger from far away. Been there, done that. Was awesome but then, when I tried meeting her again after a year or so, the magic was gone. Maybe it's better to let it be a one-off and move to a girl you could really date.

2) You're both playing games. Why? Be honest. You don't want to be her friend. You enjoyed her. You want to see her again. Be honest with her and with yourself. Maybe she reciprocates. If not, at least you'll get over her. My 2 cents.
Keep playing the mind games if you want to loose time and sanity on this affair.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Am I lowering my value to her by checking in on her? I think there's a point to going off game and being real and that's why I text her. I only send unrelated ****. Ex; I just had the greatest piece of cake ever, " its snowing so much, how you handling that where you are? " oh i ****ing ruined my lasagna, etc.

Those sound like texts a woman would send to her female friend. It’s hard for me imagine a man sending those to a woman. I am now wondering if this might be a troll thread.

 

[Nycmfer]

Those sound like texts a woman would send to her female friend. It’s hard for me imagine a man sending those to a woman ever. I am wondering if this might be a troll thread.

no, definitely not.

 

[Nycmfer]

Imho, those texts to her are beyond cringe worthy. No MAN of value, with his full life, would ever text such things.

I thought it was okay.

 

[Lookatu]

Those sound like texts a woman would send to her female friend. It’s hard for me imagine a man sending those to a woman. I am now wondering if this might be a troll thread.

I thought it was okay.

I'm not sure how old LiveYourDream is but it could just be a generational thing of communicating and conversation between the generations. Also could be environment dependent. I knew guys that would talk like that all the time but they lived in rural areas.

 

[Nycmfer]

Imho, those texts to her are beyond cringe worthy. No MAN of value, with his full life, would ever text such things.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You still feel invested in her because you slept with her AND you are still hoping to sleep with her again. She is not that special. You just see her as your most likely option at the moment. Best to change that. If you had 5 other women to see right now, you would not still be investing your time thinking about this one.

I can say that isn't always true...I have a woman I dated 3 years ago for a year and a half that has basically ruined my dating life since her because she was the whole package...fun, great sex, great connection, loved spending time together, loved going on adventures together, lots of common interests, made me feel loved in a way I never really have before, etc, etc

I have zero issues getting women who are as good looking with as nice or even better bodies as her but none of them have been that complete package like she was...there is always something that is missing from them. Its like if I could merge 2 or 3 of my plates or women I am dating together then it would be comparable.

And this isn't me trying to pedastalize her or anything like that. It is simply me saying that when you find someone who you are very close to perfect with in every aspect, it is extremely hard to find no matter how many other women are available to you. It is kind of like looking for a needle in a haystack so to speak.

So I kind of understand where OP is coming from, sometimes you just connect with certain people in ways you don't with others. Is it possible I find someone like her or even better in those ways? Yeah of course, but it isn't easy to replace that with an equivalent person just by dating someone else or having lots of other women to date.

 

[Nycmfer]

I can say that isn't always true...I have a woman I dated 3 years ago for a year and a half that has basically ruined my dating life since her because she was the whole package...fun, great sex, great connection, loved spending time together, loved going on adventures together, lots of common interests, made me feel loved in a way I never really have before, etc, etc

I have zero issues getting women who are as good looking with as nice or even better bodies as her but none of them have been that complete package like she was...there is always something that is missing from them. Its like if I could merge 2 or 3 of my plates or women I am dating together then it would be comparable.

And this isn't me trying to pedastalize her or anything like that. It is simply me saying that when you find someone who you are very close to perfect with in every aspect, it is extremely hard to find no matter how many other women are available to you. It is kind of like looking for a needle in a haystack so to speak.

So I kind of understand where OP is coming from, sometimes you just connect with certain people in ways you don't with others. Is it possible I find someone like her or even better in those ways? Yeah of course, but it isn't easy to replace that with an equivalent person just by dating someone else or having lots of other women to date.

Yes, I agree. You f

I'm not sure how old LiveYourDream is but it could just be a generational thing of communicating and conversation between the generations. Also could be environment dependent. I knew guys that would talk like that all the time but they lived in rural areas.

So u think what I said is okay?

 

[Nycmfer]

[QUOTE="Nycmfer, post: 2809831, memb

So u think what I said was ok?

 

[Nycmfer]

Sorry I'm working I keep getting interrupted.

 

[Lookatu]

Yes, I agree. You f

So u think what I said is okay?

I don't think it's the best thing to say but I do understand it as I've heard older people talk like that and also some friends that live in rural areas.

Main point is, just be yourself and be genuine. Girls will pick up on that sooner or later. Girls that will like you for you will do so, other's can get lost and scram. It's as simple as that. Find someone that is compatible with you and don't feel like you have to mold yourself to anyone else.

Learn to cherry pick the wisdom on here for what will work for you and discard the rest. Don't follow these forums as a formula but use them more as guidelines to refine your own techniques and strategies on what works for you.

 

[Nycmfer]

I'm a Nyc guy in my 50s. I took the advice from a friend. None of us are rural. The idea was to talk about other **** for once. Off topic of me and her. Prev, Ive sent a pic of myself naked to her. She has also sent me a sexy pic after I asked. I told her to send me a hot pic. She said she doesnt send those pics to friends. It would not be appropriate. I said send me an appropriate pic of your ass. She said I was bad She didnt cut me off. She was playin'. But I had to cut the intensity and see if I can share nice non sexual and non-romantic convos.She has a former bf issue. I stress former. Has anybody read Confident Persistence from this site?

 

[LiveYourDream]

@Nycmfer Am I understanding correctly that you have only met this woman in person one time?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

4 months ago, I started having great conversations over the phone with this girl from a dating site. Even became her FB friend. She was not near me so this was a 2 hour trip. I met her 3 months ago and we had sex on the 1st date. The next day, she texts me saying she wants to be friends. I didnt next her but told her I understood, expressed that it was too bad. I really liked her and thought she liked me too.She says she still cant get over her last boyfriend and still loves him but they will never get back together. I was going to be her friend and I decided I was gonna make her regret it. The next week, I meet someone else and have sex with her too. This second girl is a little crazy and marks me up with hickeys. As a joke, I post pictures on FB of the hickeys stating I was attacked by a vampire. My new friend immediately texts me asking me about it. I change the subject and chit chat with her for a while that day. A couple of weeks later, I post a pic of myself on FB with another girl I met and she wants to know about it. I lie and tell her we are seeing each other. Later, she sends me a 2 am text saying she cant sleep I ignore it. She texts me when I'm working asking me if I'm mad at her. Says I'm cold. I text her saying I can't talk, I'm busy. Will text her later. She texts me later when she doesnt hear from me, calling me friend. I respond Hey Friend, cant talk now. Im with someone. She says she wont text me anymore. I sensed she wanted me to say something nice back like oh no, dont say that. Please dont go away. I text her a week later talking about the snow. She asks me how Im doing with the girl I told her I was seeing. I tell her I had to break it off cause she was just toi much. She says that she is sorry to hear and I say its no big deal. I stop hearing from her. I use Confident Persistance texting periodically on her.- 2 weeks, a week, a few days. Jusr play it cool. No relationship discussing or pathetic whining. I 'm just James Dean being cool. However, she never initiates texts now but responds back with herself playing it cool I guess. I cant believe it but I really want her still. It's either I want a challenge or I've really fallen for her. I lose sleep thinking of her. I'm trying to move on. Wtf is wrong with me? I know she cant get over the old boyfriend cause she still has his pics up on FB from 2 years ago but I see her on dating site too. Is she gonna eventually crack and text me or is she moving on? Do I wait this out? Of course, I am meeting other women but I cant get her out of my head. Help.

Hey brother,

Thanks for posting this. This shows a pretty typical interaction when you date online. If we are completely honest here, the women there are low hanging fruit. Our advice is to close all those apps and have some cojones to approach women in real life. Online dating damages your self-image and confidence.

Regarding your question, what is wrong with you. Nothing per see. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't learn from this and improve your game and your confidence. One thing you did correctly was to move on and see other girls, we wouldn't recommend publicizing it. Always date in private. But since you did post it on FB, you can clearly see she is wondering if she made a mistake by pushing you away. She missed out. Move on.

Having said that, something we never recommend is accepting to be friends with a girl you dated and/or hooked up with. Always, always, excuse yourself from that situation. It never adds positively to your masculinity and it only serves women, not you. You can clearly see she either wanted attention and/or sex. Do not let her know how you feel, at least not so soon man. Hold back.

Last but not least, never prioritize (or spend mental capacity) on someone who is not making an effort to be in your life. Have some self-respect. You will find people (women) that will value you and make the effort. Not this one. Kick her to the curb.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

 

[Nycmfer]

@Nycmfer Am I understanding correctly that you have only met this woman in person one time?

yes.

 

[LiveYourDream]

How many other women have you had a date with (met up in person), in the last 12-24 months?

 

[Nycmfer]

How many other women have you had a date with (met up in person), in the last 12-24 months?

4. A Gf for a year then plus 3 from dating site since Nov. I hooked up with 2 of them Made out with the third but she seemed psycho so I never pursued further. . no other dates I have others I talk to as well not from dating sites and hope to meet up soon.

 

[Nycmfer]

Hey brother,

Thanks for posting this. This shows a pretty typical interaction when you date online. If we are completely honest here, the women there are low hanging fruit. Our advice is to close all those apps and have some cojones to approach women in real life. Online dating damages your self-image and confidence.

Regarding your question, what is wrong with you. Nothing per see. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't learn from this and improve your game and your confidence. One thing you did correctly was to move on and see other girls, we wouldn't recommend publicizing it. Always date in private. But since you did post it on FB, you can clearly see she is wondering if she made a mistake by pushing you away. She missed out. Move on.

Having said that, something we never recommend is accepting to be friends with a girl you dated and/or hooked up with. Always, always, excuse yourself from that situation. It never adds positively to your masculinity and it only serves women, not you. You can clearly see she either wanted attention and/or sex. Do not let her know how you feel, at least not so soon man. Hold back.

Last but not least, never prioritize (or spend mental capacity) on someone who is not making an effort to be in your life. Have some self-respect. You will find people (women) that will value you and make the effort. Not this one. Kick her to the curb.


Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

I disagree You can be a distant friend and get her still. Not a lost puppy. Not some fawning fool. Just play it cool. This is not a prepubescent crush carrying her books. I think I'm being a man here .Youre basically cutting her off by unfriending her. You will never get her that way. The solution is Confident Persistence. It must be read to get what I'm saying.

 

[LiveYourDream]

4. A Gf for a year then plus 3 from dating site since Nov. I hooked up with 2 of them Made out with the third but she seemed psycho so I never pursued further. . no other dates I have others I talk to as well not from dating sites and hope to meet up soon.

Why do you believe this particular one is so worthy of your time and energy? What do you perceive is so extraordinary about her in particular?

 

[Nycmfer]

Why do you believe this particular one is so worthy of your time and energy? What do you perceive is so extraordinary about her in particular?

I don't know. I said that in beginning. It's the challenge perhaps. Just felt something different. You know there was just a month of great convo that went with it before this. It was sexual and romantic.