Anyone aged 50+ having success with OLD?

[CoandaEffect]

I’d like to hear from any mature guys that have been using OLD. Success or failure. What sites are you using?

I tried match.com about 15 years ago. I remember it being very soul destroying, flaking, ghosting, generally being untruthful. It wasn’t all bad, I did have some success, but nothing more than a few months. Mind you I was BP/AFC back then.

I’m considering trying again but there are so many sites and apps these days that it’s bewildering what to try. I’m not looking to hook up, something more serious and with someone close to my own age.

I’m sure there is a lot of experience with this on the forum, so let’s hear it.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

im 54 and i do pretty good on Tinder & POF. Bumble would be another one id use if i wanted more exposure. I refuse to pay to online date so i just use the free stuff. I don't have the energy or desire for tons of action anymore so a slower steady flow works for me.

Have a good witty profile, use the best most flattering pictures of yourself you can get and just keep casting your bait, pretty soon you'll have a roster of women in various stages of interest to work on. Id also suggest being different than most guys, don't go after or talk about sex right away, wait til they bring up the topic and they always do if you're patient . As one chick told me most guys on these sites are disgusting pigs and start the sex talk right out of the gate which is an instant turn off. Guys want instant gratification all the time , they arent patient enough to plant seeds in a few different fields and wait to see what grows.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

I'm 57 and had a bit success with Bumble the summer before Covid.
The women have to send the first message on there, so you already know she has an initial interest before you start investing time and effort on her - and because she had to initiate, she's far less likely to flake.
I asked for at least a coffee date within 3 messages - and as above... if you avoid acting like a pig, you'll stand out from the majority.

As I posted in another thread on the subject - I used Bumble on and off through the summer of 2019.
Lots of likes at first, then settled to 2 or 3 a week - Most of them I wasn't too keen on, but I matched with 5 - and got 4 of those out on dates.
2 of those were a bit 'meh' and went no further..
The other two (aged 39 and 42) ended up in the bedroom on the first full-on evening date - One of them was an on-off thing over 5 or 6 weekends - the other was more regular, and lasted about 4 months.

Oh, and use the filters to help you
Here's what I wrote on the other thread:

Use the demographics filters... for age, distance, kids, smokers, etc...

If you're using Bumble for free.... When you get a like, you'll see a blurred-out version of her profile pic with no details - and no option to swipe.
If she falls outside your filter limit, she will disappear as a 'like', so I would use the age filters to narrow her down.
At the time I was 55, so I had my age filter set for age range about 30-50 IIRC - and lets say for example I got a like from a woman aged 42...
First I narrow the range to say... 30-40 - she disappears, so I know she is between 41 and 50
Then I go 41-45 - She would re-appear, so I now know she is in that range.
So I go halfway again... say 41-43 - She's still there, so now I start dropping the upper limit by 1 at a time:
42... Still there...
41... Gone, so I know she is 42
Now I just go to the swiping section, with as narrow a range as Bumble allows - IIRC the limit was 4 years at the time, so I would just start swiping through profiles - with the age-range set for 40-44, and look for a profile pic, age 42, which matches the blurred out image... Colour of clothes and hair, maybe an outdoor pic with greenery... etc...
She will usually come up within a few swipes. It's quite easy to match the profile pic to blurry pic.

Saves a lot of time wasted by swiping randomly.

 

[Black Widow Void]

It's been several years since I was continuously active (but I was still in my 50's).

Here's some tips:
Have at least one photo that shows you active.
Avoid professional shots (you want to appear casual and not trying too hard)
Avoid shots with sunglasses or hats / also at least one full body shot

Within your profile, say something that differentiates you from the pack.

Never send your first e-mail in the evening (it's possible that she wakes up to too many e-mails - and yours will be among the many)

If you see something unique within their profile, acknowledge it, but do not come across like you're looking for a pal. Also say something that let's it be known that you recognize her as a woman.

Write at least three woman at a time. One will probably not be active or a current member, the other may not be interested and the third should take the bait.

Although I've never had a flake, I did experience some ghosting and several that weren't punctual. This seems to be expected these days.

 

[BeExcellent]

Concur with @KindredSpiritzz @Black Widow Void and @9-3enthusiast as written.

I do not use OLD as I’ve not needed to and I’m out a great deal.

My friend is 52 and slays on Bumble and Tinder. He does as the three men I cited do and he always has more women swirling around him than he can entertain.

 

[CoandaEffect]

I turn 50 in two weeks.

Have met hundreds (probably about 500) and have laid dozens (about 50) strictly sarging OLD match.com.

I setup a basic, free match account yesterday so that I could browse. There were actually a lot of possibilities local to me. I was quite surprised but I wonder how many of those are not active anymore or are actually just fake.

I remember last time that quite a few profiles were people that were no longer active. Have experienced that?

 

[CoandaEffect]

im 54 and i do pretty good on Tinder & POF. Bumble would be another one id use if i wanted more exposure. I refuse to pay to online date so i just use the free stuff. I don't have the energy or desire for tons of action anymore so a slower steady flow works for me.

Have a good witty profile, use the best most flattering pictures of yourself you can get and just keep casting your bait, pretty soon you'll have a roster of women in various stages of interest to work on. Id also suggest being different than most guys, don't go after or talk about sex right away, wait til they bring up the topic and they always do if you're patient . As one chick told me most guys on these sites are disgusting pigs and start the sex talk right out of the gate which is an instant turn off. Guys want instant gratification all the time , they arent patient enough to plant seeds in a few different fields and wait to see what grows.

I’m quite surprised at the number of guys mentioning Tinder and Bumble. I thought they were more for the younger crowd. I might give Bumble a try.

Thanks for the sex talk advice. That’s not an issue for me, to be honest my biggest problem is that I’m not good at escalating. That’s something I have to work on.

 

[CoandaEffect]

I'm 57 and had a bit success with Bumble the summer before Covid.
The women have to send the first message on there, so you already know she has an initial interest before you start investing time and effort on her - and because she had to initiate, she's far less likely to flake.
I asked for at least a coffee date within 3 messages - and as above... if you avoid acting like a pig, you'll stand out from the majority.

As I posted in another thread on the subject - I used Bumble on and off through the summer of 2019.
Lots of likes at first, then settled to 2 or 3 a week - Most of them I wasn't too keen on, but I matched with 5 - and got 4 of those out on dates.
2 of those were a bit 'meh' and went no further..
The other two (aged 39 and 42) ended up in the bedroom on the first full-on evening date - One of them was an on-off thing over 5 or 6 weekends - the other was more regular, and lasted about 4 months.

Oh, and use the filters to help you
Here's what I wrote on the other thread:

So I take it you only used the free Bumble? Did you never try the premium version?

Also what is IIRC? Not heard that one.

 

[CoandaEffect]

It's been several years since I was continuously active (but I was still in my 50's).

Here's some tips:
Have at least one photo that shows you active.
Avoid professional shots (you want to appear casual and not trying too hard)
Avoid shots with sunglasses or hats / also at least one full body shot

Within your profile, say something that differentiates you from the pack.

Never send your first e-mail in the evening (it's possible that she wakes up to too many e-mails - and yours will be among the many)

If you see something unique within their profile, acknowledge it, but do not come across like you're looking for a pal. Also say something that let's it be known that you recognize her as a woman.

Write at least three woman at a time. One will probably not be active or a current member, the other may not be interested and the third should take the bait.

Although I've never had a flake, I did experience some ghosting and several that weren't punctual. This seems to be expected these days.

They say the photos are the most important thing. Funny thing is though that some people say don’t use professional photos and other say you should have a professional head and shoulder and a professional full length, the others should be casual. They also say you should have a few fun ones where you are in a group. I have pictures like that but I feel funny using them. What if my friends don’t want the picture to be online?

 

[Black Widow Void]

They also say you should have a few fun ones where you are in a group. I have pictures like that but I feel funny using them. What if my friends don’t want the picture to be online?

Having a group photo will put you in a catch-22.
If you're not the best looking one in the photo, then by comparison... you're not going to look as good in her eyes. And, if you *are* the best looking one in the photo, then you'll appear to hang out geeks, losers etc.. and there goes your image of 'social-proof.' Personally, I don't recommend group photos.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

So I take it you only used the free Bumble? Did you never try the premium version?

Also what is IIRC? Not heard that one.

No, never tried the paid version - the free version seemed to work OK for my purposes at the time.

Oh, and sorry... IIRC = 'If I remember correctly'

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

Just put on a nice shirt or jacket ,spruce yourself up a bit and look presentable and take your phone out to the back yard or park or what not, set the timer for 5 or 10 seconds, prop it up somewhere/somehow and take some pictures. Thats what i did and it really made a difference in my pof success rate. I seldom even message women first anymore, i just let them come to me and i reel in the ones i want to play with and throw back the chubs.
And date your photos so they know they are recent, i think that really helps too

 

[Lookatu]

I would cast a wide net and see which one works the best for you based on your looks, age, location.

Tinder
Bumble
OK Cupid
Plenty of Fish
Hinge
Our Time(55+)

These are all the popular ones in the US.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I know Tinder, POF and Bumble are free, how bout the other 3?

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I asked for at least a coffee date within 3 messages - and as above... if you avoid acting like a pig, you'll stand out from the majority.

Hmmm, maybe thats why i do so well having 1st date sex. Most guys probably ask for a date right away where as i'll chat them up for a week or two and they are more comfortable with me when we do meet. Not saying your approach is wrong but seeing that just made it click with my experiences. I didnt realize guys asked for dates that quickly.
Just set a date tonight for friday, ones coming from 3 hrs away to spend the night and she knows shes getting banged 1st date. I have another one thats heading that way soon as i can schedule time for her.
Got a 3rd one that seems game to come sit in my hot tub some night next week but something doesnt feel right there as we havent been talking that long for her to be ready for that yet so im suspicious.

 

[Lookatu]

I know Tinder, POF and Bumble are free, how bout the other 3?

Hinge and OKC are free.

You can pay premium for certain features but it isn't needed to message. OKC is owned by Match Group which also owns POF and Tinder.

Out of all of them, I'd say Hinge is the best for relationships or higher quality girls(depending on where you live and how popular it is there).

Hinge uses a different algorithm and limits the amount of likes a guy and gal can give each other per day. This lessons options and thus ADHD and the paradox of choice. I wish all the other apps operated like this, then you wouldn't see the $hitty behavior on both sides as much.

My $.02

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Used Tinder. Dated girls in their 20’s. Got a 28 yo FWB. Who wanted more ( I wasn’t ready. ). And then got a teen GF (legal) & not a SB. Tinder was amazing. If I’m single again. I’ll go back.