Cold-approach of waitress/bartender

[Çharismo]

Go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

You do know I’m going to read all your posts that you have made just to see what BS you write.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I’m just out of an LTR so I am committed to doing as much cold approach and talking to as many women as I can right now. I get what you’re saying — it’s a very tricky set of circumstances but I figure what do I have to lose?

But thanks for the advice — that’s not a bad tactic. I actually do not work near it though - only live right next to it.

This is one of the best attitudes that I've read on this forum in a very long time. If I was to bet on any forum member most likely to get laid multiple times (with multiple women) in one week, my bets would be on you. You'll do very well.

 

[jimwho]

You do know I’m going to read all your posts that you have made just to see what BS you write.

What a Geek! There's one, enjoy.

 

[Çharismo]

What a Geek! There's one, enjoy.

What a geek? You must have not hit puberty yet to come up with that.

 

[Barrister]

This is one of the best attitudes that I've read on this forum in a very long time. If I was to bet on any forum member most likely to get laid multiple times (with multiple women) in one week, my bets would be on you. You'll do very well.

Thanks - I’m trying to get there. I’ve been having some more difficulty getting off the ground post-LTR than I have in the past. Not letting it get to me though as I know it’s a matter of time as I generally have good success with women. Cold approach is something I want to be better in.

 

[Barrister]

build rapport and flirt but don't ask her out, let her give you an opening or outright ask you out. Of course, don't be surprised if she then flakes.

I don’t even hold flaking against women anymore when they do it before we’ve ever gone out. I’ve accepted it’s going to happen and I’m not bothered by it. Would love to bang this girl as she is very good-looking. Sounds like it’ll be a process.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Thanks - I’m trying to get there. I’ve been having some more difficulty getting off the ground post-LTR than I have in the past. Not letting it get to me though as I know it’s a matter of time as I generally have good success with women. Cold approach is something I want to be better in.

I'm with you man! You know my story from our messages. Even with COVID I am trying to find ways to cold approach women and get back at it. It's definitely a learning process, but I want to stop relying on OLD so much and work more on my in person game too!

 

[bat soup]

Am I in outer space? Do you guys really think this way. I'm new here, thought it was a fitness forum, but I see alot of dusrespect toward the opposite sex, mind games, etc.
And people take this advice just because??

If that's the case I would like the winning lottery numbers please, for tomorrow since everyone knows exactly everything.

2 4 26 67 69

 

[Chubb46]

2 4 26 67 69

Wow..thanks bro, these are for tonight right, smh why'd ya gotta go and put em up here everyone's going to play now.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I used to get hit on get loads times by girls, (Some gay guys too lol haha); giving me their number when I was working as bartender long time ago. It happened several times; on a daily basis. But that is not my point and obviously I'm not a girl.

My point is that she is highly likely having the same experience as me as bartender, but on a much higher level as there much more guys approaching than girls are doing it.

With that said I don't think it is impossible but you really need to be on your game to get her interest because she has tons of hungry guys after her.

When you are working a public space like that then the social barriers are somewhat removed and it makes you much more approachable to people which is why I have this theory why I also got so many chicks hitting on me as the cool bartender...

 

[Barrister]

I used to get hit on get loads times by girls, (Some gay guys too lol haha); giving me their number when I was working as bartender long time ago. It happened several times; on a daily basis. But that is not my point and obviously I'm not a girl.

My point is that she is highly likely having the same experience as me as bartender, but on a much higher level as there much more guys approaching than girls are doing it.

With that said I don't think it is impossible but you really need to be on your game to get her interest because she has tons of hungry guys after her.

When you are working a public space like that then the social barriers are somewhat removed and it makes you much more approachable to people which is why I have this theory why I also got so many chicks hitting on me as the cool bartender...

I'm with you man! You know my story from our messages. Even with COVID I am trying to find ways to cold approach women and get back at it. It's definitely a learning process, but I want to stop relying on OLD so much and work more on my in person game too!

Right - I have no doubt she gets hit on multiple times per day/asked out. So I want to stand out when I approach and not just be another dude who’s had a few drinks and tries to lamely get the pretty waitress to go out with him.

Seems like the strategy of going there a few times with her there and her seeing I’m a regular and building some rapport might work best as others have suggested prior to asking her for her number.

 

[Chubb46]

Right - I have no doubt she gets hit on multiple times per day/asked out. So I want to stand out when I approach and not just be another dude who’s had a few drinks and tries to lamely get the pretty waitress to go out with him.

Seems like the strategy of going there a few times with her there and her seeing I’m a regular and building some rapport might work best as others have suggested prior to asking her for her number.

As long as you are yourself, and your intentions are sincere, most women pick up on that. Going there a few times would be very flattering as opposed to some schmuck going there once and hitting on her like a caveman. And if it doesn't pan out, it has nothing to do with you or your approach...just means there is someone out there that you will meet. Overthinking it shouldn't be done because you don't know yet what lies underneath the outer shell. She could be nice, she could be empty. Enjoy the journey it's not meant to be a stressful one. As long as your intentions are sincere and you really would like to get to know her, like I said just be yourself. Either way, God willing you have another day, and maybe a woman will start pursuing you. Be natural, be funny, be kind and be natural. Thats how you stand out in a world full of men walking around trying to be someone they are not. Good luck!

 

[rjc149]

You have to convey status and pre-selection. This what I've seen work again and again.

Being the lone guy who shows up to chat with her is rarely a good tactic unless you convey non-behavioral or situational cues of high status -- as in, being very good-looking, or otherwise appearing to be high-status.

You need to be seen by her in social groups, and preferably, with other attractive women. She needs to notice you beyond a simple 2-3 second eye contact hold. She needs to see you as a dominant, if not THE dominant, male in that group. She needs to see you being confident and outgoing to other patrons and employees in the venue, and being received well by those people.

Show up in a group of other higher-status people that includes other women.

Learn the bouncer's name, greet him as you enter and see him off as you leave.

Be outgoing and flirty with the other young female staff.

If this is a bar, run game on attractive women, and have it be well-received.

If she's attractive, you are not the only dude who shows up to eye-fvck her and spit game at her while she's between tables. You need to convey high status and be noticed by her before you'll have a real window of opportunity with her.

 

[2Rocky]

She has her pick of the litter. She will choose you if you give the right signals.

Basically you show that you are available and have options. Mostly through a warm demeanor with multiple people without being desperate. As a regular though you are at a disadvantage. The element of novelty will wear off quickly. And Bartenders DO NOT date regulars.

I've had a bartender get off her shift (early in the night ) when I was in from out of town and sit next to me and buy me a drink. I struck up a conversation with her about a big Gathering in the desert, that I somehow deduced she was interested in. After we finished our drink she asked me to walk her to her car and well....imagine the rest. 2 hours from first meeting her.

Another got doggie dinner bowl eyes when I walked in to her bar dressed as a Canadian Mountie (It was early on Halloween). I asked her about her Masters Program and let her tell me all about it. Soon she said she lived just down the street...

The key on both of these was it was not the rush time, and they finished their work shift early in the night. and THEY CHOSE ME.

 

[Barrister]

She has her pick of the litter. She will choose you if you give the right signals.

Basically you show that you are available and have options. Mostly through a warm demeanor with multiple people without being desperate. As a regular though you are at a disadvantage. The element of novelty will wear off quickly. And Bartenders DO NOT date regulars.

I've had a bartender get off her shift (early in the night ) when I was in from out of town and sit next to me and buy me a drink. I struck up a conversation with her about a big Gathering in the desert, that I somehow deduced she was interested in. After we finished our drink she asked me to walk her to her car and well....imagine the rest. 2 hours from first meeting her.

Another got doggie dinner bowl eyes when I walked in to her bar dressed as a Canadian Mountie (It was early on Halloween). I asked her about her Masters Program and let her tell me all about it. Soon she said she lived just down the street...

The key on both of these was it was not the rush time, and they finished their work shift early in the night. and THEY CHOSE ME.

Technically she is not the bartender but one of the waitresses who works the restaurant side of the bar. I have gone now three times and I always sit at the bar with two male bartenders who I have learned their names and become friendly with. I can see how becoming a regular could be a disadvantage of getting her in the sack -- however, I also think approaching her immediately right now when she is working could also backfire. Obviously if I just never approach her though I have already lost so I don't want to lose the opportunity.

I am thinking try to strike up a couple of short conversations with some flirting/rapport building with her the next 2-3 times I go then after that (assuming there is an opportunity) asking her out. Because I agree that if I get past that without making some type of move I just get slated into the friendzone (patron-zone?).

 

[Kotaix]

Was her smile sincere or just a polite smile?

You should have left your number on the check.

 

[2Rocky]

TBH you have lost your window of opportunity.

"don't $h1t where you eat" applies to your regular hangouts too.

I was in Bozeman Montana at the hotel coffee shop and the waitress left HER phone number on the check. Probably on a dare. She knew I was from out of town, and wouldn't have to see me again.

 

[Barrister]

Was her smile sincere or just a polite smile?

You should have left your number on the check.

It seemed like more than just a sincere smile -- although the face masks make that more difficult to interpret. I couldn't leave my number though because she was not our waitress.

 

[Barrister]

TBH you have lost your window of opportunity.

"don't $h1t where you eat" applies to your regular hangouts too.

I was in Bozeman Montana at the hotel coffee shop and the waitress left HER phone number on the check. Probably on a dare. She knew I was from out of town, and wouldn't have to see me again.

I don't think I have lost my window yet since yesterday was the first time I had seen her in the three times I have gone -- but I take your point with the not sh1tting where you eat. This was why I was going to try the gradual approach as the others have suggested. I just don't want to take too long to make a move.

 

[ubercat]

There are no rules the universe and women are random. I used to do the ph number drop with waitresses. Got a few hookups. Did a bit of cold reading, the palm game, etc old PUA routines with them first. you can refresh all this stuff just mention it's from someone off Instagram or tiktok or whatever. Women will never change their nature. I think for this sitch better to use it as your date venue when u get a looker. Then when she's seen you with a couple of hotties try a bit of gentle frame shocking. Ignore her polite chit chat move the conversation onto some social event festival or whatever. You want to be the friendly but slightly bold guy, comfort ain't gonna win the slice here