Girl is talking to someone else, but wants to grab drinks

[Lookatu]

guys forget that the seduction happens at the beginning with the guy being persistent with the girl ... and her playing coy

I think this is good to remember but at the same time, hard to practice with all this entitlement going on in the modern age. It was alot easier to do before social media and swiping apps.

Chivalry is directly proportional to the amount of entitlement a girl reeks of.

One of my online convo's with a girl:
Her: "I wish guys were more chivalrous"
Me: "They will be once the entitlement attitude goes down"
Her: Silence...

 

[metalwater]

guys forget that the seduction happens at the beginning with the guy being persistent with the girl ... and her playing coy

coy is attractive.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

I guess the only problem right now is it's going to potentially be 2 weeks before we meet up, assuming she doesn't push it back. She works this weekend, and then she said possibly to the following weekend. How am I going to keep things fresh for 2+ weeks in text?

 

[evansblue]

I guess the only problem right now is it's going to potentially be 2 weeks before we meet up, assuming she doesn't push it back. She works this weekend, and then she said possibly to the following weekend. How am I going to keep things fresh for 2+ weeks in text?

By not responding after she says possibly, like you did the first time. Her curiosity will drive her to text you again, because she'll be wondering if you're losing interest because her responses might be too vague. There's no reason for you to initiate a text until at least next week, because she said she's working this weekend. If next Thursday or Friday rolls around and you haven't heard from her, I would definitely say something to keep the spark going, but don't mention anything about the date. Let her bring it up, because you've already asked twice.

I think right now she's just keeping it light and playful. Hold your ground.

 

[Bigpapa]

I think this is good to remember but at the same time, hard to practice with all this entitlement going on in the modern age. It was alot easier to do before social media and swiping apps.

Chivalry is directly proportional to the amount of entitlement a girl reeks of.

One of my online convo's with a girl:
Her: "I wish guys were more chivalrous"
Me: "They will be once the entitlement attitude goes down"
Her: Silence...

To be sincere , I also struggle with this entitlement that women have ...

From my point or view this happens mostly because they are super insecure about themselves ... so they try to make you “ suffer “ for their amusement and feel better about themselves

I tell myself that it does not make too much sense to put too much effort in them as it can not be anything more than sex , so I move my focus on other prospects . Sometimes I wonder if this is the correct strategy or not

what are your thoughts @rjc149 ?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with what you're saying but it just isn't for me at this point in my life. I didn't always have a short fuse and did play the game for a bit before. But that's just not where I'm at now. Different strokes for different folks...

You do know James Bond is fictional, right?

That ",fuse " obviously wore down over the years playing with it. Perhaps if you had always only worried about babies who are choosing you you'd have more fuse left. But your not alone.

 

[Lookatu]

That ",fuse " obviously wore down over the years playing with it. Perhaps if you had always only worried about babies who are choosing you you'd have more fuse left. But your not alone.

Possibly. We all live and learn...

Sometime learning or discovering also tends to place limitations on us and the way we think.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Possibly. We all live and learn...

Sometime learning or discovering also tends to place limitations on us and the way we think.

Yes

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Thanks for hijacking my thread guys, lol.

 

[rjc149]

To be sincere , I also struggle with this entitlement that women have ...

From my point or view this happens mostly because they are super insecure about themselves ... so they try to make you “ suffer “ for their amusement and feel better about themselves

I tell myself that it does not make too much sense to put too much effort in them as it can not be anything more than sex , so I move my focus on other prospects . Sometimes I wonder if this is the correct strategy or not

what are your thoughts @rjc149 ?

I can't say anyone here is "wrong" about women becoming more entitled, or the nature of relationships becoming more transactional and temporary. As I've gotten older, I'm just better at mindfully being more positive about things. It's a willful, daily effort.

The red pill brings sexual/romantic relationships back to their primal, pre-civilized roots. It calls out the social constructs of monogamy and marriage as just those -- constructs. Our species have existed for over 30,000 years, and we've had civilized society for only 3-4,000 years. We still behave in accordance with 30,000 years of our biological programming. Women seek strong, dominant males who can protect them from danger, take resources, build alliances, and pass on good genetics. Men seek young, fertile women with attractive features to ensure the offspring can procreate further. These behavior patterns manifest themselves again and again, regardless of our society's constructs.

Women have always cheated on weak husbands. Men have always cheated on their wives with the sexy young housemaid. The tall, handsome, loud, strong, dominant man always got more poon than the other men. Hotter women always got more male interest. The red pill brings us back, sometimes kicking and screaming, to biological reality.

Me? I accept this. I accept that you can meet a wonderful, awesome, sweet, caring woman who, after years of a drab, mundane marriage, goes on Ashley Madison. Or had a profile the whole time. I accept that attractive young women will give men the run-around in their quest for the strongest, best men. I accept that my SMV will never be in the same league as Travis Kelce or Chris Hemsworth. I accept that I may never marry. And that's okay, I'm not bitter about it. I'm okay with it. I live my best life, try to keep meeting more women when a prospect falls through, try to improve my game, and if one wants to stick around for the long haul, that's just icing. But the cake is fine the way it is.

 

[Clamslammer]

I grabbed this girls number, talked for a bit, and asked if she wanted to grab a drink on the weekend. She said "possibly". I didn't respond after that. She initiated two days later saying "Hey". We started talking again. She said "I have to be honest with you, I'm talking to someone but I want to be friends and would love to grab a drink."

Is this the friend zone or a sh!t test?

Your reply should have been. Thats cool...he can keep you busy "talking" when you are not with me. Now lets you and I get together

 

[Black Widow Void]

OP (and anyone else reading) ... have you ever noticed that when someone says "to be perfectly honest".. that this is when they are typically the least honest? That's been my experience.

Let's say that she actually does have a boyfriend... do you think that she's being "perfectly honest" to him about meeting a guy for a drink that cold approached her? Doubt it.

Worst case scenario: she's emotionally cheating on her boyfriend and will enjoy your attention. If this is the case, remember that friends go dutch and you're under no obligation to pick up her tab.

Best case scenario: She's interested enough to accept your invite, but also on the fence. Her "boyfriend excuse" provides a 'safe' opportunity to leave gracefully (should things not go as positive) .

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[OldComeBacker]

Boy, it's no wonder some of you guys are bad with women. This guy is playing it perfectly. She said "possibly", and he passed with flying colors by not responding. That showed confidence, and SHE started texting him. She mentioned she still wanted to grab drinks, and even said the guy she was talking to doesn't live near her and she does her own thing. Obviously not even a boyfriend at this point.

I'm willing to bet this woman is attractive and is seeing if you can keep up with her. Seems like you're doing a pretty good job.

This was my take. A lot of men just take that as defeat from the outset. A lot of time the friendzone is really up to how he plays it. I once "got friendzoned" by a chick who asked to buy me a drink.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Possibly. We all live and learn...

Sometime learning or discovering also tends to place limitations on us and the way we think.

Can't unlearn some of the things. But perhaps persist in faith knowing sometimes luck is required. Stifling our thoughts with the realities sometimes restrains our potential.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hate the game, not the player.

The "games" at the very beginning of the attraction phase has been standard female MO since probably 10,000 BC, so ruling out any woman who does this absolutely timeless female behavior is ruling out a large majority of your dating pool.

Generally speaking, not just you, but a lot of posters here seem to have a very short fuse with women and are too easily frustrated by courtship rituals, because it's "disrespectful."

The James Bond analogies are a cliche and a little lame in dating advice, I know, but think about it -- James Bond is pursuing a woman, who then says "a night out with you? In your dreams" with a slight smile.

Does James Bond then say "look, give me a straight answer, I'm busy and I don't have time for your bullsh!t. If you're not willing to respect my time then fine, take care, bye."

No he doesn't. Because he's secure with himself and is confident in his desirability to women. He doesn't get rattled or frustrated, especially by a bit of teasing.

He smiles back "you, in my dreams? You should be so lucky." Or something like that.

If a woman is playing some teasing, flirting games, just smile, keep up the charm, and be detached. And you'll get her.

She's still gonna have men she truly desires and will be an open book for. He'll they beg guys for d1ck.

 

[rjc149]

I guess the only problem right now is it's going to potentially be 2 weeks before we meet up, assuming she doesn't push it back. She works this weekend, and then she said possibly to the following weekend. How am I going to keep things fresh for 2+ weeks in text?

Sorry for the hijack OP. Back to you.

You're worried about 'keeping this fresh' because you're scared she's going to lose interest. You're scared that you have no other prospects. You need her to keep paying you attention, because you need her validation. You are relying on this girl's reactions to you for your own emotional stability.

Do you see what I'm getting at here?

You are approaching this from a fear-based, scarcity mindset. You are afraid that she's going to stop liking you and that you are going to lose her. This is really unattractive to women. This mindset will manifest in behaviors that turn women off. Behaviors like too much texting, initiating pointless, meandering conversations to assure you that she's still paying attention to you -- this is all really needy and insecure.

Stop caring if it's 2 weeks, 2 months, whatever until you hear from her. Stop caring about "keeping things fresh" until she finally agrees to meet. If you lose her, whatever. Fine. Next.

So here's where you leave it, and I think this is good advice. If you don't hear from her in two weeks. on the weekend where she left you at "possibly" send her something like "Hey, hope you're not dead. I want to check this [venue] out, join me for a drink?"

At this point you might as well throw a Hail Mary. Remember, it's okay to be a little persistent to get the 1st date -- but that does NOT mean light her up and pester her. Just one more ping. If she declines or prevaricates, move on.

 

[Bigpapa]

Sorry for the hijack OP. Back to you.

You're worried about 'keeping this fresh' because you're scared she's going to lose interest. You're scared that you have no other prospects. You need her to keep paying you attention, because you need her validation. You are relying on this girl's reactions to you for your own emotional stability.

Do you see what I'm getting at here?

You are approaching this from a fear-based, scarcity mindset. You are afraid that she's going to stop liking you and that you are going to lose her. This is really unattractive to women. This mindset will manifest in behaviors that turn women off. Behaviors like too much texting, initiating pointless, meandering conversations to assure you that she's still paying attention to you -- this is all really needy and insecure.

Stop caring if it's 2 weeks, 2 months, whatever until you hear from her. Stop caring about "keeping things fresh" until she finally agrees to meet. If you lose her, whatever. Fine. Next.

So here's where you leave it, and I think this is good advice. If you don't hear from her in two weeks. on the weekend where she left you at "possibly" send her something like "Hey, hope you're not dead. I want to check this [venue] out, join me for a drink?"

At this point you might as well throw a Hail Mary. Remember, it's okay to be a little persistent to get the 1st date -- but that does NOT mean light her up and pester her. Just one more ping. If she declines or prevaricates, move on.

The most important thing is that desirable people have a lot of things going on in their lives , and when you put way more effort than needed the woman will only understand “ well , I am way off his league and this is why he is behaving like that “

This is why being over eager kills the attraction , because the other person thinks that he \ she is way over your league , and no one really wants to date down

 

[2Rocky]

So she is a "Second tier Prospect" you should have "Primary tier" dates lined up between now and then.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Update: It's been almost 2 days with no contact since she said "possibly" to next weekend that I didn't respond to.

Thoughts?

 

[Bigpapa]

Update: It's been almost 2 days with no contact since she said "possibly" to next weekend that I didn't respond to.

Thoughts?

wait 2 weeks before you send her again a message , till then try to go out with other women