Should I try to reschedule later or just drop her?

[Juanto]

Hi guys,

So I met up with this girl from Bumble this last saturday, date went quite smooth as we actually knew each other from some 15 years ago but then lost contact, and yesterday I invited her to come over next tuesday(tomorrow) for dinner at my place. She agreed to it yesterday, but today she sent me message apologizing saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick and has fever, but didnt make any counter-offer. I just replied OK no problem, we will reschedule after the kid is feeling well again.

Is this dead in the water or should I reach out again in 2/3 days or just wait for her to contact me?

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hi guys,

So I met up with this girl from Bumble this last saturday, date went quite smooth as we actually knew each other from some 15 years ago but then lost contact, and yesterday I invited her to come over next tuesday(tomorrow) for dinner at my place. She agreed to it yesterday, but today she sent me message apologizing saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick and has fever, but didnt make any counter-offer. I just replied OK no problem, we will reschedule after the kid is feeling well again.

Is this dead in the water or should I reach out again in 2/3 days or just wait for her to contact me?

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

Maybe she senses that. Guys usually make it abundantly clear in women's eyes what they want even if they think they are holding their cards close to the vest.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Relax.

Maintain distance.

Look for signs of reinitiation.

Spin other women.

Hit her regardless after a couple of weeks if she doesn't reinitiate.

 

[Juanto]

Maybe she senses that. Guys usually make it abundantly clear in women's eyes what they want even if they think they are holding their cards close to the vest.

It could be that, yes. Good observation. I did flirt a little bit with her yesterday after she accepted my invitation, perhaps it was a mistake.

 

[Juanto]

Look for signs of reinitiation.

Meaning if she reaches back with anything, I re-invite again for a later date?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It could be that, yes. Good observation. I did flirt a little bit with her yesterday after she accepted my invitation, perhaps it was a mistake.

It was also kinda quick since the last date. I have had this happen also on invites on date 2. I have found it works better for me when I wait til date 3 for the dinner invite to my place.

Try waiting an extra date next time and see how that works.

 

[Juanto]

It was also kinda quick since the last date. I have had this happen also on invites on date 2. I have found it works better for me when I wait til date 3 for the dinner invite to my place.

Try waiting an extra date next time and see how that works.

Reason for the dinner date at my place is because where I am, we are under full lockdown: everything is closed here.

 

[Lookatu]

She's either not comfortable enough to go over your place or she thinks you just want a booty call and rather than discuss it, she'd rather avoid the topic and make an excuse.

During this pandemic, we have a catch 22 as you've noticed with lockdowns limiting our options. This inherently creates awkward moments if/when girls are asked over too early for their comfort range.

Personally, the fact that she didn't reschedule or say anything positive after your response, I would next her or wait and see if she reaches out. The ball is in her court.

Usually when you get girls feeling a certain way about you or the situation, it's hard to reverse that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Reason for the dinner date at my place is because where I am, we are under full lockdown: everything is closed here.

You need to spend more time building comfort/rapport. I actually successfully was getting women to come over to my place to cook dinner on the initial meetups but that was because I spoke to them on the phone a few times prior over the course of a week or two. I'll suggest getting them on the phone and talking prior to inviting them over to your place.

 

[Georgepithyou]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

She's just an OLD girl, bot worth rescheduling for. I'm sure yiu have other matchs on bumble

 

[rjc149]

Even in the pandemic environment, inviting her to your place on the second date means "first date went well, let's fvck."

Especially on a Tuesday, not even a weekend.

There was nothing romantic, seductive, or intriguing about your invitation. Or even subtle. The pretext to her was very clearly:

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

so there's what happened, you weren't exactly going under the radar with your intentions. And if all you want is a fling, you should have made the 1st date physical right off the bat. That sets the tone and intention for a sexual relationship -- whether you want it serious or not. Escalate quickly.

Where ever you went on your first date, make the next few dates at similar venues. Honestly, dating when bars are closed is just going to be a lot more trial and error. Try again next week, and if no luck, chalk this one as an error.

 

[Black Widow Void]

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

I don't mind offering advice that I think would be helpful, but first, I like to know if an OP is being genuine. If this is simply a potential 'plate' option, then why the investment of creating a post or any investment into wondering what she's thinking/doing?

Being childless, I certainly prefer women that are also without children. However, if they rank higher in other areas, I've made several exceptions, and I don't mind sharing my experiences/advice.

Be a little more transparent and worry less what other forum members think. If it's just a potential plate, then just look for another. If she interests you, then say so and you'll get a different set of advice.

 

[Juanto]

If this is simply a potential 'plate' option, then why the investment of creating a post or any investment into wondering what she's thinking/doing?

My idea was to make her a plate or FWB, if the sex was good which I dont know if it is because we havent had it yet.

For me, the fact that she has a child from someone else eliminates her from ever being in a serious relationship with me, but she could very well be a FWB or plate, no problem at all there.

 

[Juanto]

so there's what happened, you weren't exactly going under the radar with your intentions. And if all you want is a fling, you should have made the 1st date physical right off the bat. That sets the tone and intention for a sexual relationship -- whether you want it serious or not. Escalate quickly.

I also got the vibe that especially now that she is a single mom, she is looking for something for serious at this point, having in mind the kid. However, and as always we need to look more at the actions rather than words, she did confess that between october and december she did have sex with some other guy she met online (she left previous boyfriend in september....).

 

[Juanto]

You need to spend more time building comfort/rapport. I actually successfully was getting women to come over to my place to cook dinner on the initial meetups but that was because I spoke to them on the phone a few times prior over the course of a week or two. I'll suggest getting them on the phone and talking prior to inviting them over to your place.

Do you think the same can be achieved by texting a little bit more? She did mention (prior to our 1st meeting) that she wasnt sure I was going to show up because I didnt "speak" alot through text, to which I replied "talking is in person".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Do you think the same can be achieved by texting a little bit more? She did mention (prior to our 1st meeting) that she wasnt sure I was going to show up because I didnt "speak" alot through text, to which I replied "talking is in person".

It can help but talking on the phone is better for that. Way more ground can be covered and they can hear your voice, your laugh, your intonation etc...

A lot of people recommend not texting much because they are afraid of screwing up but I find the opposite....I do great through text and it actually increases their interest level and they are really excited to meet me. Almost no flakes.

To each their own but that is what works for me.

 

[Juanto]

A lot of people recommend not texting much because they are afraid of screwing up but I find the opposite....I do great through text and it actually increases their interest level and they are really excited to meet me. Almost no flakes.

This is quite interesting. As you said, the majority of people will say otherwise to this, but sometimes it does feel it may help in some cases to text more.

 

[Black Widow Void]

My idea was to make her a plate or FWB, if the sex was good which I dont know if it is because we havent had it yet.

For me, the fact that she has a child from someone else eliminates her from ever being in a serious relationship with me, but she could very well be a FWB or plate, no problem at all there.

Ask an honest question - get an honest answer. I appreciate that.

As long as both parties are aware of the outcome, no harm there. My advice would have been catered toward someone approaching from more than a FWB/plate agenda. Knowing your end goal, I couldn't provide any tips in good conscience. However, because another member said it (and not me) BackInTheGame78 knows what he's talking about.

 

[bat soup]

Hi guys,

So I met up with this girl from Bumble this last saturday, date went quite smooth as we actually knew each other from some 15 years ago but then lost contact, and yesterday I invited her to come over next tuesday(tomorrow) for dinner at my place. She agreed to it yesterday, but today she sent me message apologizing saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick and has fever, but didnt make any counter-offer. I just replied OK no problem, we will reschedule after the kid is feeling well again.

Is this dead in the water or should I reach out again in 2/3 days or just wait for her to contact me?

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

She probably cancelled because she wasn't going to get a free meal.

I wouldn't bother calling her again. She had her chance.

 

[Dash Riprock]

This is par for the course for a single mom. No surprise. Their kids come first and sometimes they get sick or babysitters flake or the ex can't take them, etc. It's not game playing or the other single mom B.S. people like to post here. It's reality.

Inviting her to your place on the second date was a bit much, IMO, women need to be comfortable with a guy first, especially mature single moms.

If you like her, wait two weeks and see if she pops up or reaches out. If not, message her and invite her on an outdoor date like hiking, skiing, or ice skating (not sure where you live). If all goes well, for the third date, then invite her over for dinner.

No games or B.S. Just be 100% with your intentions. Life is too short for that s*it especially If you're over 40. If she doesn't play ball, move on.

Good luck.