Not sure what to do

[captain55]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past. We have had good sex in the past (mostly when she is drunk and she doesn’t remember any of it) but she never gives me head or makes the first move. She usually comes onto me when I don’t want it, admitting that the less I want her the more she wants me (not sure if this has something to do with being raped)

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her. It’s literally once every 5 days that she lets me **** her and by the time I do get a chance to bang her I have performance anxiety because she’s not making me feel comfortable. I love the girl and want it to work but not sure how I can make someone less selfish in bed.

oh yeah I’ve tired talking to my fiends about it who suggest I be more “dominant and forceful”. Only little problem is they don’t seem to get it. If I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off. It’s almost like paying for sexI want her to want to do it on her own.

not sure what to do fellas.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past. We have had good sex in the past (mostly when she is drunk and she doesn’t remember any of it) but she never gives me head or makes the first move. She usually comes onto me when I don’t want it, admitting that the less I want her the more she wants me (not sure if this has something to do with being raped)

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her. It’s literally once every 5 days that she lets me **** her and by the time I do get a chance to bang her I have performance anxiety because she’s not making me feel comfortable. I love the girl and want it to work but not sure how I can make someone less selfish in bed.

oh yeah I’ve tired talking to my fiends about it who suggest I be more “dominant and forceful”. Only little problem is they don’t seem to get it. If I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off. It’s almost like paying for sexI want her to want to do it on her own.

not sure what to do fellas.

Your not alone. Alot of us need engagement and displayed interest sexually to turn us on. If shes not "giving in" much to you its just not good for your masculinity.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past. We have had good sex in the past (mostly when she is drunk and she doesn’t remember any of it) but she never gives me head or makes the first move. She usually comes onto me when I don’t want it, admitting that the less I want her the more she wants me (not sure if this has something to do with being raped)

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her. It’s literally once every 5 days that she lets me **** her and by the time I do get a chance to bang her I have performance anxiety because she’s not making me feel comfortable. I love the girl and want it to work but not sure how I can make someone less selfish in bed.

oh yeah I’ve tired talking to my fiends about it who suggest I be more “dominant and forceful”. Only little problem is they don’t seem to get it. If I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off. It’s almost like paying for sexI want her to want to do it on her own.

not sure what to do fellas.

Shes gotta "give " a little bit or this little system she's running will drink your desire and kill your swag.

By the way your not the only guy who needs to feel some sexual interest out of her to get excited.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You have been dating her 3 months and you love her? Cmon man. Slow down and stop falling for every woman that lets you put your d!ck in her. Get a hold of yourself.

 

[LiveYourDream]

You may desire her like crazy. As I see it, you two are not sexually compatible. I don’t see that changing. In my view, you have two choices, to either live with her unsatisfying sex or move on.

I think no matter how hard it is to do, that you will be best served in the long run, to move on from this one. Best for your over all happiness to find a woman you are more sexually compatible with, especially for a ltr.

 

[Roober]

Didn't you make a thread about this woman a couple weeks ago?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past. We have had good sex in the past (mostly when she is drunk and she doesn’t remember any of it) but she never gives me head or makes the first move. She usually comes onto me when I don’t want it, admitting that the less I want her the more she wants me (not sure if this has something to do with being raped)

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her. It’s literally once every 5 days that she lets me **** her and by the time I do get a chance to bang her I have performance anxiety because she’s not making me feel comfortable. I love the girl and want it to work but not sure how I can make someone less selfish in bed.

oh yeah I’ve tired talking to my fiends about it who suggest I be more “dominant and forceful”. Only little problem is they don’t seem to get it. If I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off. It’s almost like paying for sexI want her to want to do it on her own.

not sure what to do fellas.

Bro you have a big clue! She comes onto you and wants it when you don't want it. Before you get rid of her have some self restraint. Do what you have to to focus on something else and not desire her. Let her TAKE it from you. She'll probably grope you and kiss on you. Maybe for adding to the science start flirting with another babe you have chemistry with.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You may desire her like crazy. As I see it, you two are not sexually compatible. I don’t see that changing. In my view, you have two choices, to either live with her unsatisfying sex or move on.

I think no matter how hard it is to do, that you will be best served in the long run, to move on from this one. Best for your over all happiness to find a woman you are more sexually compatible with, especially for a ltr.

Have you evaluated her "type" and figured out what works best with them. There are other women with similar psychology.

 

[LiveYourDream]

@mrgoodstuff
My response was not based on this solitary thread, but rather all the threads and posts I’ve read from the OP, about him and this particular woman.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@mrgoodstuff
My response was not based on this solitary thread, but rather all the threads and posts I’ve read from the OP, about him and this particular woman.

He started out 3 yrs ago desiring to buy expensive gifts and do too much for them. Now things are happening but its like he has to force the situation.

 

[Glassguy]

You have been dating her 3 months and you love her? Cmon man. Slow down and stop falling for every woman that lets you put your d!ck in her. Get a hold of yourself.

Agreed. OP has been around almost 8 years..........

Guys who chase relationships are like dogs who chase cars OP.

 

[darksprezzatura]

DANGER!

Girls who have claimed sexual abuse or harassment, in my experience, have been downright nymphomaniacs or kinda asexual.

More often than not a girl who was actually raped will take that to her grave and not blurt it out 3 months into dating.

As @BackInTheGame78 said you're over invested and this will come back to bite you in the azz.

She might make you feel like a king at times and love bomb you.

You might think you can "undo" her damage. Not going to happen.

When sh!t hits the fan and she tries to fvck your life up, keep screenshots and proofs of consent, video whatever.


My suggestion, if you choose to think clearly without those "love goggles" is keep some distance and see how she reacts.

These are the psychotic histrionic kinds.

I'd run for the hills the first time she mentioned this.

 

[Lookatu]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past.

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her.

she’s not making me feel comfortable.

f I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off.

Dude, you are asking a girl that was raped in the past to seduce you and come onto you. It's not going to happen. Find someone else that hasn't been damaged.

 

[Kotaix]

She's broken. You should move on. Don't make her problems your own.

 

[bat soup]

Currently dating a hot 21 year old, she is amazing in every way but the sack.

She has a lot of anxiety and was raped in the past. We have had good sex in the past (mostly when she is drunk and she doesn’t remember any of it) but she never gives me head or makes the first move. She usually comes onto me when I don’t want it, admitting that the less I want her the more she wants me (not sure if this has something to do with being raped)

I’m getting tired of constantly having to come onto her. It’s literally once every 5 days that she lets me **** her and by the time I do get a chance to bang her I have performance anxiety because she’s not making me feel comfortable. I love the girl and want it to work but not sure how I can make someone less selfish in bed.

oh yeah I’ve tired talking to my fiends about it who suggest I be more “dominant and forceful”. Only little problem is they don’t seem to get it. If I have to ask a girl to suck my **** or touch me it defeats the purpose and immediately turns me off. It’s almost like paying for sexI want her to want to do it on her own.

not sure what to do fellas.

I've never experienced anything that bad but I have noticed that some women are a lot more sexually compatible with me than others.

I get totally turned off by women that want to rush it or do things a certain way. I prefer the girl to let me take her, basically. But everyone is different I suppose.

Another big turn off for me is when they insist on turning off the lights or take off all their clothes at once.

There was one girl that put on loud heavy metal music and it totally killed my boner.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Chicks like this have very low self control when it comes to Sex and will get off on banging strangers, run. My ex friends gf is like this, sent him out to the store while I was at his house, she looks at me and says "You know we're not dating" then jumps on me and starts rubbing my crotch, blew me, made me *** twice, literally gargled my ***, then kissed him when he came in... Im sure that broad would of been a bang like no other too, but we didn't have time and I was done.

Best blow job I ever had by far, but she was crazy AF, all her BP medication would be strewn about the carpet like candy.

Also, this guy owed me $900 at this time and never paid me, so I don't feel bad.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I just had to dump a chick last week for this exact same issue. We'd be making out, petting and i'd always have to take her hand and put it on my junk at some point so she'd get the idea. She's never initiate sex or go down on me on her own and she was just very boring and subdued in bed. She was always down for sex, never refused me but just really vanilla and tame during it. I think her problem was she hadnt been with many men in her life. Said she was willing to experiment and try new things but when push came to shove she just couldnt bring herself to do anything but lie there like a star fish. After awhile that got in my head and started affecting me so had to cut her loose.
Talk with her, explain how you feel and let her know if she cant change then its not gonna work, then she has a choice to make.
I for one refuse to put up with bad sex just to have a hole to stick it in. Lifes to short

 

[ThisIsSparta]

This isnt going to get better. Desire is not negotiable. Wait until you are in LTR-status with her, you will get it once every 2 weeks and if she baits you into marriage and kid/s you are done with sex completely.

Asides from that, id be scared to be the next guy that "raped" her.

You are not going to rescue her, stop trying, NEXT.

 

[captain55]

And guys to be clear, we have had amazing sex in the past....but it’s inconsistent. Last weekend I made her *** 3 times, it was amazing...she got super clingy and ended up wanting to come over 2 days earlier than planned. I felt like the man. My confidence was sky high. So she came over in a sexy outfit again Wednesday, I’m kissing her...I’m rock hard ready whip my **** out..... She could if at least given me a ******* or something you know? Every girl I’ve been with would of sucked my **** right then and there.

 

[Glassguy]

and guys to be clear, we have had amazing sex in the past but it’s inconsistent. Last weekend I made her *** 3 times, it was amazing...she got super clingy and ended up wanting to come over 2 days earlier than planned. I felt like the man. Then Wednesday night we had some issues in the sack. Her interest level still seems high, but a big issue with me is she doesn’t give head. To me a girl giving head is just vital to getting back up again and going rounds 3 and 4

So tell HER that. She will either COMPLY or BYE.