OLD feels like a waste

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'm fairly good looking guy and have a nice apt in a popular part of the city. But I don't have much luck with OLD, they mostly ghost or flake on me before I can even meet them. Others won't even agree to meet because of the "pandemic".

Granted, I probably only spend an hour or two on it per week, but it's not nearly as efficient as it was even 2-3 years ago.

For reference I am using Hinge which I have used very successfully in the past.

I would like to meet women at places like sports clubs, improv, spin classes, any kind of groups like that, but pretty much everything in my city is closed down.

I'm getting a bit jaded from it all now. It's hard to have any sense of abundance when you literally cannot even get a girl to commit to showing up for a first date.

 

[christie]

I'm fairly good looking guy and have a nice apt in a popular part of the city. But I don't have much luck with OLD, they mostly ghost or flake on me before I can even meet them. Others won't even agree to meet because of the "pandemic".

Granted, I probably only spend an hour or two on it per week, but it's not nearly as efficient as it was even 2-3 years ago.

For reference I am using Hinge which I have used very successfully in the past.

I would like to meet women at places like sports clubs, improv, spin classes, any kind of groups like that, but pretty much everything in my city is closed down.

I'm getting a bit jaded from it all now. It's hard to have any sense of abundance when you literally cannot even get a girl to commit to showing up for a first date.

Try something that appeals to their narcissism and solipsism.

Tell them you have a gift for them.







One of them is bound to show up just out of curiosity to see if you really are like that.
Tell them its one they'll have to open.

Then don't spend any more than $10 including the wrap and bow or ribbon and get them something from the pretty mugs or picture frames or crafts or bath/makeup aisles of the dollar store.
Cute stuffed animal or some gadget-y charm for cell phones would work too.

Or go to bulk ingredients store and buy a plain container off their shelf and fill it with something that relates to them. If they're health conscious, fill it with hemp seeds. If they have a favourite candy, then that. If they have a favourite tea or coffee, then that.

If they flake, you can always just use the cheap little wrapped item for the next girl.
If they flake, send a "wow, stood up even though I got you a gift" line

Girls are suckers for gifts. Do not say where its from. Its a surprise until they meet you in person.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Try something that appeals to their narcissism and solipsism.

Tell them you have a gift for them.







One of them is bound to show up just out of curiosity to see if you really are like that.
Tell them its one they'll have to open.

Then don't spend any more than $10 including the wrap and bow or ribbon and get them something from the pretty mugs or picture frames or crafts or bath/makeup aisles of the dollar store.
Cute stuffed animal or some gadget-y charm for cell phones would work too.

Or go to bulk ingredients store and buy a plain container off their shelf and fill it with something that relates to them. If they're health conscious, fill it with hemp seeds. If they have a favourite candy, then that. If they have a favourite tea or coffee, then that.

If they flake, you can always just use the cheap little wrapped item for the next girl.
If they flake, send a "wow, stood up even though I got you a gift" line

Girls are suckers for gifts. Do not say where its from. Its a surprise until they meet you in person.

That's an interesting idea but I don't want to spend $10 on a girl who's given me nothing yet.

 

[Kotaix]

where are you?

OLD is great if your profile is in english in a non-english speaking country. Some US cities also still have worthwhile OLD scenes as well, but here in the western WA state area it's full of purple haired feminists, land whales and catfish. It's very rare to find anyone worthwhile on OLD, you have to get lucky.

 

[SirBigBell]

OLD is the biggest eroder of men’s power. Why? First, because it gives even below-average women pretty much limitless options, while guys are jostling and going to extremes just to be one of those options, if they are lucky. Men have been reduced to fighting for scraps like seagulls.

Second, OLD has taught women that men and relationships are disposable. A woman doesnt have to invest much energy into making a relationship work anymore, because she can ditch you and secure 10 potential replacements within an hour. This is the age of abundance for women and men are struggling to regain the power they are losing at an alarming pace. Even masculine alpha males are now having to turn into beta simps just to compete for scraps.

I personally will resist OLD till the cows come home. Better to grind out slow results the old way than to lower myself to fighting for crumbs in an oversaturated market where even bikes are now expecting to be treated like dimes.

OLD is a terrible deal for the majority of men, period. You have to perform circus monkey stunts to stand half a chance of catching the attention of a 6. Nah, not me!

 

[BMX]

I refuse to participate in a rigged game.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Works fine for me. 4 new lays so far in 2021

 

[DelayedGratification]

Kudos for those whom which OLD is working for them. As for me, I've been in the longest drought I can remember. I get maybe one "like" a month, and usually it's so far below my threshold that I instantly nuke it.

I don't know why I'm bothering at this point, feels like pissing in the wind.

 

[BeExcellent]

I have friends who slay on OLD. They say these 3 things:

1. Top notch photos
2. An interesting profile
3. Solid text game

My friend who routinely slays on OLD checks his swipe apps several times a day, is a handsome, well dressed guy who is also witty and engaging. He strikes up conversations constantly (never with ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you’) with starters like “So how’s your Wednesday evening treating you? Up to anything scandalous?” and women gobble up his text game. He’s very chatty via text and writes long thoughtful responses. This hooks women emotionally such that they get curious enough to meet him out...or come straight to his. If a woman expects him to pedestalize her or gush about her he throws out an IDGAF compliance test...and the chicks almost always comply. It’s interesting to observe.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I have friends who slay on OLD. They say these 3 things:

1. Top notch photos
2. An interesting profile
3. Solid text game

My friend who routinely slays on OLD checks his swipe apps several times a day, is a handsome, well dressed guy who is also witty and engaging. He strikes up conversations constantly (never with ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you’) with starters like “So how’s your Wednesday evening treating you? Up to anything scandalous?” and women gobble up his text game. He’s very chatty via text and writes long thoughtful responses. This hooks women emotionally such that they get curious enough to meet him out...or come straight to his. If a woman expects him to pedestalize her or gush about her he throws out an IDGAF compliance test...and the chicks almost always comply. It’s interesting to observe.

I only use #1. My profile is one sentence long. Only girls who like our photos are going to read our profiles. If she needs to be convinced beyond the photos she is likely lukewarm interest. Thus, a waste of time in a sea of many fish.

 

[christie]

That's an interesting idea but I don't want to spend $10 on a girl who's given me nothing yet.

Yes, I understand. Its the principle of it. Not the amount.

I was just trying to think of something to get them out in person.
There's resentment there that they feel they have to give you something, so its almost like they're punishing strange guys they haven't even met yet.

Remember, women are self-absorbed.
Its almost like its this existential locking of horns or like a staring contest to see who blinks first.

I think its resentment they're not 'getting anything' out of meeting up except maybe more pressure to have sex. (you yourself may not have been pressuring with sex in your OLD messages but some girls see all guys as one hive mind "all guys just want one thing" etc.)

That's why I thought of the cheap gift, thoughtfully giftwrapped. Those days are over and its labelled bluepill to do that now. Now it seems to be a competition to see who can be rude and mean to who first. I don't have another idea to break this but I'll try to brainstorm some other enticement to get them to stop flaking and meet in person.

 

[metalwater]

That's an interesting idea but I don't want to spend $10 on a girl who's given me nothing yet.

I would agree, however you already have invested 1 or 2 hours of time to find her and arrange. That alone is worth far more than $10. Travel lost opportunity. bla bla bla... . Don't know if this idea would work, but from a calculator perspective, not a big deal vs how much is already invested, ten more to close the deal... maybe..

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I'm fairly good looking guy and have a nice apt in a popular part of the city. But I don't have much luck with OLD, they mostly ghost or flake on me before I can even meet them. Others won't even agree to meet because of the "pandemic".

Granted, I probably only spend an hour or two on it per week, but it's not nearly as efficient as it was even 2-3 years ago.

For reference I am using Hinge which I have used very successfully in the past.

I would like to meet women at places like sports clubs, improv, spin classes, any kind of groups like that, but pretty much everything in my city is closed down.

I'm getting a bit jaded from it all now. It's hard to have any sense of abundance when you literally cannot even get a girl to commit to showing up for a first date.

Running into the same problem now too man. It's difficult. These girls get such an ego on these things. I swear, most use it without any intention of actually going on any dates..

 

[Black Widow Void]

Try something that appeals to their narcissism and solipsism.
Tell them you have a gift for them.

Because I grew up in an era when taking them out and paying the tab was customary, I'm okay with that particular custom. but if you really think about it.... it really is a form of prostitution (I'm paying for their company through food and drinks) .

There's absolutely no way that I'd be willing to up it even further.. by having to bribe them with a 'gift' no matter the low cost... just to have them show up (so that I can then spend additional money on drinks/ dinner) .

Luckily, I'm attracted to women my own age (and I'm old) and women past 40 aren't getting all the attention that the young girls do. This must be the case because I sure as hell am not getting any more handsome.

 

[Aeterna]

I'm fairly good looking guy and have a nice apt in a popular part of the city. But I don't have much luck with OLD, they mostly ghost or flake on me before I can even meet them. Others won't even agree to meet because of the "pandemic".

Granted, I probably only spend an hour or two on it per week, but it's not nearly as efficient as it was even 2-3 years ago.

For reference I am using Hinge which I have used very successfully in the past.

I would like to meet women at places like sports clubs, improv, spin classes, any kind of groups like that, but pretty much everything in my city is closed down.

I'm getting a bit jaded from it all now. It's hard to have any sense of abundance when you literally cannot even get a girl to commit to showing up for a first date.

OLD is a women's arena and men are trying to win by using "text game" which is the hardest form of getting a women's interest.

You have to look at this in the eyes of a woman. You are just another profile, a picture, a text message that is easily replaceable (which is the truth).

Majority of the guys who are "successful" on these apps guys either

A. Lowered their standards immensely
B. Live in city such as NYC or LA
C. Are extremely good looking

I, myself, am speaking from experience (before someone says I'm "trying hard enough". I have a six pack, I'm 6 feet without shoes, live in NYC and have pictures where women thought I was a model.

Did I have sex with beautiful women sometimes? Yes. Did I ever get sexually frustrated from the ghosting/flaking to the point where I hooked up with a chubby/ugly chick? Lots of times

 

[christie]

Running into the same problem now too man. It's difficult. These girls get such an ego on these things. I swear, most use it without any intention of actually going on any dates..

But I don't remember any dates being offered when I was on OLD. That was also my own fault for not presenting myself as more high value and feminine.
There was no messaging about doing something fun or unique. Something that would take investment from the guy to dress up nicely.
It was always the impression that guys were just flipping through a sex catalogue to see who they could get to have sex with them.
Suggesting $2 coffee dates and no intent to enjoy an evening out on the town. Paying dutch can be negotiated of course. But the men don't even want to show themselves a good time. Guys should maybe start referring to OLD as OLF because the men really are not interested in the companionship of a fun and exciting date. That's not their idea of a good time. Too much like waiting for an oven to heat up.

There's just this intensity to close the date with sex, men are like a blowtorch with as soon as possible sex. No patience for ovens(women) to heat up.

Women are shallow and want to know you have real value in some way. A man's sex isn't valuable to them.
Unless you see some female's profile that blatantly asks to be impregnated instead of using a sperm bank or she's blatantly asking to have sex, they are not on a dating site for sex.
They are on it for dating.

 

[Gstring]

I'm fairly good looking guy and have a nice apt in a popular part of the city. But I don't have much luck with OLD, they mostly ghost or flake on me before I can even meet them

That means you have bad photos, you can be fairly good looking and have bad photos, and/or you have bad text game, and/or your profile and/or your bad photos give neediness.

Sure on this site people recommend closing within 1st 3 messages. But your text game has to be tuned -
because response you get from her could be
silence
**** test
platonic
positive

Closing within first 3 messages when girl replied to you in 3 days that is closing while she giving you silence, and same with **** test, instead of passing it, you go ahead and close it, you will be ghosted.

There is a whole precedure for text game and closing, I wrote a guide in Tips sections, just nothing I come up with, just bunch of videos that helped me.

The most important thing is your photos, they have to be top notch. No selfies. No crap photos. Someone taking pic of you in public places, and you must learn how to pose properly.

Then your profile has to be written properly. Then you actually have to have text game, at least at the bare minimum be tuned and know where you are with her. It is so rare for women online that guy actually writes good to them, even more rare for a guy to have good pix, and even more so rare for a guy to have a nice written profile.

Your profile is average you getting average results that you getting.

And think about what is closing means? Are you prepared to go to a place in your city based on some messages online from you don't know who, perhaps a guy with picture of a girl? Closing means getting your phone number and giving her a call, chit chat for 20 mins or so. This way there is less chance she will flake on you.

Some of these dudes go ahead and close within first 3 messages and get falked on - simply because their text game is not tuned or girl actually lost interest before she got to the place. It's not girl's fault, it's a case of player hands growing not from shoulders.

Sure you will get flaked on, but that's because they are expecting you to call them before you leave home going to the place - it is common sense, they too are meeting a dude from online and are not sure if you show up or not. Despite what AMS recommends I'm actually confirming my date prior to leaving house and going to the place.

 

[Aeterna]

That means you have bad photos, you can be fairly good looking and have bad photos, and/or you have bad text game, and/or your profile and/or your bad photos give neediness.

Sure on this site people recommend closing within 1st 3 messages. But your text game has to be tuned -
because response you get from her could be
silence
**** test
platonic
positive

Closing within first 3 messages when girl replied to you in 3 days that is closing while she giving you silence, and same with **** test, instead of passing it, you go ahead and close it, you will be ghosted.

There is a whole precedure for text game and closing, I wrote a guide in Tips sections, just nothing I come up with, just bunch of videos that helped me.

The most important thing is your photos, they have to be top notch. No selfies. No crap photos. Someone taking pic of you in public places, and you must learn how to pose properly.

Then your profile has to be written properly. Then you actually have to have text game, at least at the bare minimum be tuned and know where you are with her. It is so rare for women online that guy actually writes good to them, even more rare for a guy to have good pix, and even more so rare for a guy to have a nice written profile.

Your profile is average you getting average results that you getting.

And think about what is closing means? Are you prepared to go to a place in your city based on some messages online from you don't know who, perhaps a guy with picture of a girl? Closing means getting your phone number and giving her a call, chit chat for 20 mins or so. This way there is less chance she will flake on you.

Some of these dudes go ahead and close within first 3 messages and get falked on - simply because their text game is not tuned or girl actually lost interest before she got to the place. It's not girl's fault, it's a case of player hands growing not from shoulders.

Sure you will get flaked on, but that's because they are expecting you to call them before you leave home going to the place - it is common sense, they too are meeting a dude from online and are not sure if you show up or not. Despite what AMS recommends I'm actually confirming my date prior to leaving house and going to the place.

This is the problem that I have with OLD. Look at how much work is needed for a guy to get a match that will most likely just ghost/flake/unmatch him no matter what his text game is.

Learning about "text game" is waste of a man's time. Texting is a soulless experience. You can't stir a girl's emotions through text. I could text "LOL" or "LMAO" and didn't laugh.

At the end of the day, these apps are a big money grab that are using men's sexual desires against them. We have to pay for boosts, professional photos, and the dates for the possibility of sex.

Guys are so desperate that they are praying and hoping that their date with a 30+ year old single mom doesn't flake/ghost on them.

It is perfectly fine to leave the circus show we call the "dating game" alone for a while, especially during the pandemic. Women are not going anywhere!

I'm personally using this time, start my YouTube channel and learn more about photography/editing.

 

[Black Widow Void]

.....Suggesting $2 coffee dates and no intent to enjoy an evening out on the town.

The "$2 coffee date" is about the only leverage a man has on the personals. I haven't taken this avenue seriously in almost ten years, but back when I was invested, the coffee date was the most practical. For starters, if we have a few dates lined up, this is an inexpensive way to see if there's at least mutual chemistry.

I can't speak for other men, but if the woman doesn't appear glib, smug and has at least offered her phone number to speak (prior to the date) I'll suggest meeting for drinks and/or a bite to eat. Otherwise, she's regulated to meeting for coffee. But again, I'm not claiming that this is how men in your life have conducted things.

 

[Gstring]

@Aeterna when you got it, everything looks natural, you pick up your phone, swipe, write message, she replies positive, get her number, call her, talk, setup date. It's not even numbers game, when you go through call stage their rarely flake, especially if you confirm.