Ahh I get what you're saying referring to "honeymoon relationship". That thing hurts like hell when it brakes down.
As of my case it was a living hell getting over her, especially first two months when she dumped me. Couldn't eat well, when I was sleeping I was dreaming of her. Now even if I had a chance to be with her I would turn it down, she's just not on my level anymore.
I know what you mean. I couldn't eat either. The worst of it was the first few months afterwards.
However, I'm guilty of doing stupid things to mess my emotions up worst. For example, we used to go to the same church together, which was a movie theatre, and they would have various home church small groups that would meet through the week. I ended up going to a small group that happened to meet at the same times as hers did, and was exposed to people in the small group who also knew her in common. (ie. there is this chad-like guy she appeared to be very friendly with while we were in relationship that was also the leader of that group and it felt like I deliberately placed myself in this group to get at him, when in reality she was probably way below his league and that was all in my head, etc....). The pastor of the overall church was also the earlier and co-leader of that same small group. I basically displayed all the negative energy, depression or how I felt within that small group, even talking to other girls within the group. So it appears while I broke-up because her past was too jarring and she was on anti-depressants, it just feels that was a logical decision, but on an emotional level, it was not something I signed up for and it appears I was perpetuating her by continuing to buy into the system that she was also part of. I stopped going to that place around June 2013 as it appeared it was a toxic set-up in and of itself.
I also hung out with this other older sister from another church. We watched movies together in her bedroom (nothing "funny" happened) and ate out. I used me to drive her here and there, but at the time I didn't mind her company. However, my mother got upset that another older woman was taking too much of my time and I stopped dealing with her. This lady was instrumental in helping to initiate the break-up and going in no contact with this ex-gf in the first place.
The nature of the break-up included me having an email correspondence with her ex-husband, and then forwarding that to my ex-gfs mother. I'm guessing she probably read those emails too. My mother did the research and her ex-husband was a pastor who didn't date any other girl and was praying for her to repent and come back with him.
Fast forward to 2016. I revisited an island where we bike ride twice in 2012 over 6 times, and I kayaked there too. After a failed marriage and divorce, it was an escape to revisit places where I went to with this ex-gf and feel like I'm looking at the past.
Romanemp22 said:
But I'm glad it happened because if it didn't i wouldn't be a man I am today. A man who is a lot more wiser, tougher and a slayer. And I believe it did you a favor as well. Those things makes you tougher like stone.
I don't know if it did anything for me at the end of the day. It feels too picture perfect as a memory and yet too jarring the way it ended. Things like that make you more cynical. Its okay if you meet lots of other women afterwards, but not if its too much of an isolated experience.
It just comes like I saw a great movie.
