Are Dating Apps not just a waste of time?

[AlphaDraconis]

I get a solid amount of matches. Decent looking girls. I'm about a 6-7/10 in the looks department. Good looking, but not Jeremy Meeks.

These girls give absolutely no effort to the conversation and expect you to serenade them through text. They have a heap ton of matches, so the competition is surreal.

Doesn't matter if it's Bumble or Tinder or Plenty of Fish.

I only started using these apps at the beginning of Covid. I'm 28 and never got into this **** until lately and so far I've only had 1 lay and let me tell you that was only pretty much because she was direct and to the point from the start and I then made it easy for her.

All these other girls are either wasting time or not interested in any interaction and they expect you to impress them with your first line, like we're in a club/bar. How can you smooth talk naturally with the opening few lines, without being an absolute tool that's recycling cheesy bull****?

Every guy looks in the mirror and thinks he’s a 7. The harsh likelihood is you’re a normie, perhaps even lower tier normie - like the majority of women without the makeup.

 

[zinc4]

Every guy looks in the mirror and thinks he’s a 7. The harsh likelihood is you’re a normie, perhaps even lower tier normie - like the majority of women without the makeup.

When i was 19 years old, i was rated a 9.8 out of 10 on that website hotornot with over a few thousand votes. Im old now though and that was a long time ago. You tend to take on a "thicker" or plumper look as you age. Im okay for my age but probably like a 6 or 7 in these biatches eyes now. I will always be a 10 in my mind though. **** what they think.

 

[OnYourTerms]

Every guy looks in the mirror and thinks he’s a 7. The harsh likelihood is you’re a normie, perhaps even lower tier normie - like the majority of women without the makeup.

Well I am a 7 in real life and a 6 in pictures (Which is a normie)

Hence I did say 6-7. It depends on the girl. I am certainly not 8+/10 which would put me in the top 20% you are talking about.

I know what you are thinking. How can he be finding it that frustrating if he is a 7/10. Yeah, no I am a 6/10 in pictures but a 7/10 irl. Sure though I understand why you think decent looking guys can't speak in this manner.

 

[OnYourTerms]

When i was 19 years old, i was rated a 9.8 out of 10 on that website hotornot with over a few thousand votes. Im old now though and that was a long time ago. You tend to take on a "thicker" or plumper look as you age. Im okay for my age but probably like a 6 or 7 in these biatches eyes now. I will always be a 10 in my mind though. **** what they think.

Thicker or plumper look? Why do you think that is? Slightly higher body fat? Fat-pads weakening? Lack of collagen? Can use microneedling, red light therapy & strength training for a lack of collagen.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thicker or plumper look? Why do you think that is? Slightly higher body fat? Fat-pads weakening? Lack of collagen? Can use microneedling, red light therapy & strength training for a lack of collagen.

Hormonal changes.

 

[RickTheToad]

I get a solid amount of matches. Decent looking girls. I'm about a 6-7/10 in the looks department. Good looking, but not Jeremy Meeks.

These girls give absolutely no effort to the conversation and expect you to serenade them through text. They have a heap ton of matches, so the competition is surreal.

Doesn't matter if it's Bumble or Tinder or Plenty of Fish.

I only started using these apps at the beginning of Covid. I'm 28 and never got into this **** until lately and so far I've only had 1 lay and let me tell you that was only pretty much because she was direct and to the point from the start and I then made it easy for her.

All these other girls are either wasting time or not interested in any interaction and they expect you to impress them with your first line, like we're in a club/bar. How can you smooth talk naturally with the opening few lines, without being an absolute tool that's recycling cheesy bull****?

There Are Not Enough Quality Girls to Go Around - YouTube

 

[Lookatu]

Numbers game. Make sure you keep approaching IRL. You want OLD to just be a minor channel. Good pics. Only give it a couple of hours a week. Keep rejoining to pick up the new user boost. Short messages. Number/call by 3rd msg. You ll meet plenty of UGs. Use them as practice or LJBF. Nobody asked them to Photoshop themselves so fair game.

This ^^^

I just triple stacked 3 dates this past Saturday on OLD. One looked just like her pics, second one had a great personality but was probably 10lbs over her pic, last one was pretty boring and conversaton went stale. None of them wowed me enough to give them another chance since I have other girls in my queue. If anything, I don't look at it as a waste of time but rather practice. Rinse and repeat...

 

[sangheilios]

@OnYourTerms

It's pretty well understood that OLD sites and apps are a waste of time for the most part if you are looking for anything of substance. A ton of women use this as a means to deal with boredom, where they might chat with dozens of men on there with no real intention of meeting up. I'd wager that this has been especially the case since COVID started. There are also tons of bots, catfish and the like on things like this for who knows what reason; scamming horny men out of money, attempting to get **** pics, etc.

As for the women that are actually on there that are indeed looking for something. For the most part you are only going to get matched with women that are well below your actual league. For instance, I'm 30, white, 6'4" and I lift 4 days per week, have a very fit/athletic body and all I ever got "matched" with was very overweight women. For my age, I'm well within the top 10%, not necessarily vogue tier but in the real world most guys aren't like me, and those are the results I'd get. However, much of this also has to do with the area you are in, naturally some cities you'll be far better off than others, say like living in NYC vs some small city in the interior of the country.

There is only 1 man that I know of who does well on dating apps, which is a story I've mentioned on here. He is tall and attractive but average fit, so above average but nothing at all outlandish. The reason he does well in our area is because he is of a unique racial admixture, which is unusual in our area. I think if you are going to do well you need to be unique, not necessarily attractive. For instance, there are tons of white men that are 6'+ who are in shape and do well for themselves, so you need to be able to separate yourself from that.

 

[zinc4]

Thicker or plumper look? Why do you think that is? Slightly higher body fat? Fat-pads weakening? Lack of collagen? Can use microneedling, red light therapy & strength training for a lack of collagen.

Not sure why. It happens to a lot of people in general though. Look at someone like John Travolta the actor for example. No amount of gym work is going to give his super slender early 20s look back. Its even in your face and everything. Getting older sucks in general. More dental and back and joint problems tend to pop up as well. Especially if you played a lot of sports growing up. I was an avid jogger forever until both my knees gave out on me finally last year. Now i swim daily instead.

 

[andreihaha]

I also just tried OLD last year, due to the whole COVID situation.
Had some success, went out with 3 chicks, dated 2 of them for 2 months and just banged the other one.
They were all attractive, around 7-8.5 on the old 1-10 scale.
Sounds decent, right?
Well, the problem with meeting strangers is...they're strangers and you might not have much in common. And they might not really appreciate you fully if they live with the illusion of so many options.
I ended up breaking both relationships with these girls, one was a bit shallow and I wasn't that into her, the other one didn't seem like she was enough into me.

So yeah, if you behave alright and are somehow attractive, you can get some short-term results. With some work.

But for me, it was an experience, but nothing important came of it.

Best of luck in finding a worthy partner that cares a lot about you, no matter how you meet.

 

[zinc4]

I also just tried OLD last year, due to the whole COVID situation.
Had some success, went out with 3 chicks, dated 2 of them for 2 months and just banged the other one.
They were all attractive, around 7-8.5 on the old 1-10 scale.
Sounds decent, right?
Well, the problem with meeting strangers is...they're strangers and you might not have much in common. And they might not really appreciate you fully if they live with the illusion of so many options.
I ended up breaking both relationships with these girls, one was a bit shallow and I wasn't that into her, the other one didn't seem like she was enough into me.

So yeah, if you behave alright and are somehow attractive, you can get some short-term results. With some work.

But for me, it was an experience, but nothing important came of it.

Best of luck in finding a worthy partner that cares a lot about you, no matter how you meet.

Here in playa its much worse than i imagined for online. I was getting even better results in hyper competitive miami for example. Disappointed with the women situation down here altogether.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I also just tried OLD last year, due to the whole COVID situation.
Had some success, went out with 3 chicks, dated 2 of them for 2 months and just banged the other one.
They were all attractive, around 7-8.5 on the old 1-10 scale.
Sounds decent, right?
Well, the problem with meeting strangers is...they're strangers and you might not have much in common. And they might not really appreciate you fully if they live with the illusion of so many options.
I ended up breaking both relationships with these girls, one was a bit shallow and I wasn't that into her, the other one didn't seem like she was enough into me.

So yeah, if you behave alright and are somehow attractive, you can get some short-term results. With some work.

But for me, it was an experience, but nothing important came of it.

Best of luck in finding a worthy partner that cares a lot about you, no matter how you meet.

How is that any different than meeting a stranger if you were out at a bar or at a store and started talking to someone?

Any woman you date is going to be a stranger unless you already have spent time with them in some capacity.

Every woman I have ever dated has been a stranger by your defintion.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@OnYourTerms

It's pretty well understood that OLD sites and apps are a waste of time for the most part if you are looking for anything of substance. A ton of women use this as a means to deal with boredom, where they might chat with dozens of men on there with no real intention of meeting up. I'd wager that this has been especially the case since COVID started. There are also tons of bots, catfish and the like on things like this for who knows what reason; scamming horny men out of money, attempting to get **** pics, etc.

As for the women that are actually on there that are indeed looking for something. For the most part you are only going to get matched with women that are well below your actual league. For instance, I'm 30, white, 6'4" and I lift 4 days per week, have a very fit/athletic body and all I ever got "matched" with was very overweight women. For my age, I'm well within the top 10%, not necessarily vogue tier but in the real world most guys aren't like me, and those are the results I'd get. However, much of this also has to do with the area you are in, naturally some cities you'll be far better off than others, say like living in NYC vs some small city in the interior of the country.

There is only 1 man that I know of who does well on dating apps, which is a story I've mentioned on here. He is tall and attractive but average fit, so above average but nothing at all outlandish. The reason he does well in our area is because he is of a unique racial admixture, which is unusual in our area. I think if you are going to do well you need to be unique, not necessarily attractive. For instance, there are tons of white men that are 6'+ who are in shape and do well for themselves, so you need to be able to separate yourself from that.

No. It's not well understood actually. What's not understood is that it takes a different skillset to be successful than if you meet someone IRL. Being interesting via messaging or text is a skill. Most guys don't have it.

It can be learned. Most guys don't want to put forth the effort to. Hence it is easier for them to say "it doesn't work" or some other nonsense because it makes them feel better about themselves because they aren't doing well at it. Saying it doesn't work helps their ego because they can take the fault away from them and places it on the medium.

But here is the thing. When people constantly fail.to take responsibility for their failures with women in ANY situation they are preventing themselves from succeeding. Pretty much in ANY situation if a person does something enough and is not succeeding the problem is with them in some way. Whether its lack of skill, being uninteresting, being overly sexual, etc etc etc...

Failing to look at this objectively and actively trying to make changes until you find out the reason for it is limiting your ability to succeed. Too many see failure as a reason to give up rather than seeing it as a way that simply doesn't work. Make changes and try again. If that continues to fail, make changes and try again. Eventually they will start figuring out what works and what doesn't. Too many guys want shortcuts. There are no shortcuts. Put in the work and reap the rewards or don't and cry about not succeeding. That is the cold hard truth of it all.

The problem is, most people don't allow themselves to get to that point before giving up. Nothing I can do about that, each individual person is responsible to themselves. All I can do is let people know what I do and that OLD is a very easy way to meet and bang women. Several others pretty much say the same thing as I am.

 

[andreihaha]

How is that any different than meeting a stranger if you were out at a bar or at a store and started talking to someone?

Any woman you date is going to be a stranger unless you already have spent time with them in some capacity.

Every woman I have ever dated has been a stranger by your defintion.

Women that appear in my social circle are usually a lot better for my taste. We find a lot of stuff in common.
But to be fair, I'm pretty young and I got a lot of doctor friends with LOTS of young available doctors at most parties.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The ratio is at best 5m to 1f online, but we aren't being objective? Do you live in NYC?

Do you want to make excuses or do you want to get results? Can't do both. I choose to get results but everyone has to make their own choice on that.

Sometimes it requires you to just put your head down and work harder when things aren't working. Failure never phases me. I view it as simply doing something that isn't working.

I look internally at what I am doing and what appears to be going wrong and change my method to try to correct it and try again. And again. And again. And again. 10 times, 20 times, 50 times, 100 times. Doesn't matter. Until I make the proper changes and succeed. Then I simply repeat that process over and over again as closely as possible once it works regularly.

Not everyone is built for that, I realize. That applies to all areas of my life, not just women. There is a certain relentlessness to me and innate need to win that I don't see in a lot of other people if I am being completely honest. Probably what makes me such a good software engineer. I will work at a problem relentlessly until it is solved.

So to me, it doesn't matter what the numbers are, or how the competition is stacked against me. I win, that's what I do. I am going to win and I will keep at it until I do. Never been the fastest or most athletic(although I was very athletic) or smartest(although I am very intelligent) or most talented but I have never been outworked at anything by anyone. And when you combine relentless pursuit of success(or maybe just fear of failure) with hard work, very rarely does that not yield positive results. Hasn't failed me yet in any aspect of my life...sports, academically, career, women, etc.

So that is my mindset that I approach it with to maybe put things in perspective a little bit.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Treat OLD as another tool in your toolbox. Two of my three recent relationships were from OLD. If you’re GL, just basic pics and a basic bio will do. If more average looking, prof pics & a tight bio are needed. Don’t stress the bio though. Just make sure you’re not a weirdo. If on Tinder, select your theme music with care. No joke! Got to be aggressive once she matches you. Get her off OLD and on to iMessage or phone. There are literally 50+ guys contacting her on OLD while you are. Set up at date ASAP. I would read her bio, look at her IG and her Spotify. Find something unique and comment on that. I found that girls younger than about 22-23 get really defensive about being teased or sarcasm. So save that for older women.

 

[zinc4]

OLD is far from perfect, but it can def yield some good results if you are persistent with it. I have met several past relationships from old. One was a very bright Venezuelan girl a few months back. Met on tinder. The hottest girl i was ever with came from plentyoffish in taiwan about 8 years ago actually. Okaycupid has given me 2 good long term relationships. It's easy to get discouraged, but persistence pays off.

 

[bat soup]

I get a solid amount of matches. Decent looking girls. I'm about a 6-7/10 in the looks department. Good looking, but not Jeremy Meeks.

These girls give absolutely no effort to the conversation and expect you to serenade them through text. They have a heap ton of matches, so the competition is surreal.

Doesn't matter if it's Bumble or Tinder or Plenty of Fish.

I only started using these apps at the beginning of Covid. I'm 28 and never got into this **** until lately and so far I've only had 1 lay and let me tell you that was only pretty much because she was direct and to the point from the start and I then made it easy for her.

All these other girls are either wasting time or not interested in any interaction and they expect you to impress them with your first line, like we're in a club/bar. How can you smooth talk naturally with the opening few lines, without being an absolute tool that's recycling cheesy bull****?

The ratio of men to women on these apps turns it into an online kockfest and the women have shiiiittttty attitudes to match.

Most of the fish are only swimming in these kock-infested waters as bait for their Instagram career. They hope to become the next Kim Kardashian and so far they've made about 2 cents and got 20,000 orbiters so it's going well.

 

[TheProspect]

Do you want to make excuses or do you want to get results? Can't do both. I choose to get results but everyone has to make their own choice on that.

Sometimes it requires you to just put your head down and work harder when things aren't working. Failure never phases me. I view it as simply doing something that isn't working.

I look internally at what I am doing and what appears to be going wrong and change my method to try to correct it and try again. And again. And again. And again. 10 times, 20 times, 50 times, 100 times. Doesn't matter. Until I make the proper changes and succeed. Then I simply repeat that process over and over again as closely as possible once it works regularly.

Not everyone is built for that, I realize. That applies to all areas of my life, not just women. There is a certain relentlessness to me and innate need to win that I don't see in a lot of other people if I am being completely honest. Probably what makes me such a good software engineer. I will work at a problem relentlessly until it is solved.

So to me, it doesn't matter what the numbers are, or how the competition is stacked against me. I win, that's what I do. I am going to win and I will keep at it until I do. Never been the fastest or most athletic(although I was very athletic) or smartest(although I am very intelligent) or most talented but I have never been outworked at anything by anyone. And when you combine relentless pursuit of success(or maybe just fear of failure) with hard work, very rarely does that not yield positive results. Hasn't failed me yet in any aspect of my life...sports, academically, career, women, etc.

So that is my mindset that I approach it with to maybe put things in perspective a little bit.

I understand the mindset, and I do have a similar one. In all environments, it's not always universally practical though.

Let's say the male to female ratio is 9:1 in online dating. Let's say you're objectively less than a 6 in every category (looks, status, money, etc.), after starting at a 3 and worked hard for years and maxed out at 6.

Let's say in a particular city for an OLD app, there's 5000 men and 555 women for your age range. You have standards, so you seek to pursue only the top 25% of women (factoring looks, personality, etc), which leaves about 139 women that you'd actually want to date. If you want the top 5-10% of women, such women will be much more rare. But let's stay conservative.

After the hard work on yourself you put in to become a 6 from a 3, at best you're still only a "better" option than 2500 (50%) of the men in this area.

You're one of 2500 men competing for 139 women. However, these 139 women in the top 25% have a countless options, and they each can get a top 3% of ALL men because of the ratio. Not to mention a lot of women on OLD are just AWings and are not serious about dating. These numbers for low value men are even more depressing.

Even though I've personally had a bit of success on OLD, I haven't been on it in years and much prefer to meet women spontaneously in-person. My ROI goes much further.

The 5000:555 ratio is close to numbers that it would look like in my area. I'm not a 3 who worked up to a 6. But I can understand with such men's complaints about struggling with OLD, especially if they have high standards in the quality of women they desire.

A growth mindset and all the hard work in the world, plus the Law of Attraction, does not change the reality of these numbers.

For many men who want a top notch women, it's not a work ethic or mindset problem, it's a statistical one. Although I'd concede one can punch far above their weight if they put in the work... but there's still a ceiling. One can delude themselves that there isn't, but reality will show them theirs whether they choose to see it or not.

You could say that these constraints are just mental obstacles placed on oneself, but then you're ignoring the problem many men face. And the problem isn't always self-examination and working harder.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I understand the mindset, and I do have a similar one. In all environments, it's not always universally practical though.

Let's say the male to female ratio is 9:1 in online dating. Let's say you're objectively less than a 6 in every category (looks, status, money, etc.), after starting at a 3 and worked yard for years and maxed out at 6.

Let's say in a particular city for an OLD app, there's 5000 men and 555 women for your age range. You have standards, so you seek to pursue only the top 25% of women (factoring looks, personality, etc), which leaves about 139 women that you'd actually want to date. If you want the top 5-10% of women, such women will be much more rare. But let's stay conservative.

After the hard work on yourself you put in to become a 6 from a 3, at best you're still only a "better" option than 2500 (50%) of the men in this area.

You're one of 2500 men competing for 139 women. However, these 139 women in the top 25% have a countless options, and they each can get a top 3% of ALL men because of the ratio. Not to mention a lot of women on OLD are just AWings and are not serious about dating. These numbers for low value men are even more depressing.

Even though I've personally had a bit of success on OLD, I haven't been on it in years and much prefer to meet women spontaneously in-person. My ROI goes much further.

The 5000:555 ratio is close to numbers that it would look like in my area. I'm not a 3 who worked up to a 6. But I can understand with such men's complaints about struggling with OLD, especially if they have high standards in the quality of women they desire.

A growth mindset and all the hard work in the world plus the Law of Attraction does not change the reality of these numbers.

For many men who want a top notch women, it's not a work ethic or mindset problem, it's a statistical one. Although I'd concede one can punch far above their weight if they put in the work... but there's a ceiling. One can delude themselves that there isn't, but reality will show them theirs whether they choose to see it or not.

You could say that these constraints are just mental obstacles placed on oneself, but then you're ignoring the problem many men face. And the problem isn't always self-examination and working harder.

But here is the issue I have with a lot of people. They ASSUME the default state of "I can't compete" BEFORE they even TRY to compete. They adopt a loser mindset which then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy their subconscious mind is determined to make happen.

Additionally a lot people think they have put in the work but have they really? The majority of people simply give up when the going gets tough. That's the truth. Not just with women but with most things in life in general.

To your point, I consider myself a 6. I'm not in great shape anymore. I have a very solid base tho so even with some extra weight I still look muscular just bulky. I kill it on OLD. Had some issues about 4 or 5 months ago when I started back on it due to being a little overly sexual on first dates. Have toned it down and relaxed some and basically have had pretty much every woman I went out with wanting to see me again. According to the majority of people here I shouldn't be doing this well due to all the options women have, but I am. I date anywhere from 6.5-7.5 with an occasional 6 and 8 thrown in.

But it wasn't always like that...it took me a lot of dates and a lot of bad experiences to get to the point I am at...you cannot expect to become good at something without failing first. That's just how things work. It gets irritating to see the people who are unwilling to put in any work, effort or change due to self-introspection keep saying something doesn't work when they haven't done anything to get to a point where they should expect it to work. They message 5 women and get no dates and claim it doesn't work. It's comical.