Strange situation with new woman...thoughts? UPDATE: Banged her

[BackInTheGame78]

Met this new woman and have been out with her twice. Seems like we both enjoyed ourselves both times, and she has been initiating texts and has told me after the dates that she had fun and thanked me for taking her out. The last one we played mini golf and then went for drinks...she lost at golf and bought the drinks(and actually kept asking me if I wanted another one). Also tried to pay for golf as well but I told her I got it and thst she could get me a drink if she lost.

She hs initiated kino and sits close to me, leans in, likes it when I stroke her hair, etc etc...all the normal signs that I see when a woman is interested in me. She even has told me that I make her nervous(in a good way) and that is why she plays with her hair at times.

But here is the crazy part...she isn't down for kissing. She turns her head and avoids it...like a kid whose Mom is trying to make them take a spoon of Cod Liver Oil. She claims she is nervous and can be really shy. But she insists it has nothing to do with not being interested in me.

I have never in my life been in a situation like this. Unsure what I should do. I mean the signs point to her being interested(currently has triple texted me twice last night and when I didn't respond sent a good morning text already today), but this is just really weird...I could understand no kiss on the first date...but again on the second? Just seems weird. Unsure if I should just tell her this isn't going to work out or if I should just ignore it and invite her over to my place to cook dinner(we talked about it and she said that would be fun). Maybe it's a being out in public thing?

Thoughts?

 

[CoandaEffect]

This happened to me quite recently. Two dates went well, kino, she texted me afterwards. Tried for the kiss on the second date and she said no. I am not going to ask for a third date.

In your case if she has indicated willingness to come over and cook then I would go for it, may as well. If she remains the same at your house then I would say you are wasting your time.

 

[Romanemp22]

I would give her a shot one more time and if she's refusing my propositions I would call it quits. That's a damn enough time for her to get comfy.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I've only had something remotely like this happen once. 23yo super old-fashioned religious girl. First date she gave me the cheek. Second date, pecks on the lips. Third date and beyond, open mouth kissing with no tongue, and it never progressed beyond that. And I got the sense that she didn't really like doing it but knew it was "expected" so that's why she was going along. She only had one sexual partner prior to me and it was an abusive situation, if she is to be believed. I cut her loose by telling her it just felt too platonic and that I was looking for romance. I would have waited a long time for sex with her if she was showing some sort of progression, but she wasn't, and it was feeling like she was just lonely because she was new in town for college and she hadn't really made many friends yet so she was just looking for some company.

Different women take different amounts of time to get comfortable, but once you are into your 20's, if kissing is a really big deal for you then something is seriously wrong with you. She could be asexual, a massive prude, not attracted to you, or simply looking for male attention without romance. I don't have rules on how many dates I go on before I "expect" sex to happen - all I look for is a steady progression in that direction.... a progression that doesn't stall out. The progression can be slow but it needs to be there. But that's sex; if she won't even give you a kiss by date 3, something is seriously wrong and I'd cut her loose. You're looking for romance, not a little sister.

 

[Alvafe]

actually I need to ask, you tried to kiss her first date? how you act after the refuse, that is kinda important

 

[Gstring]

I see two possibilities, she is emotionally unawailable by having another guy, or she is playing a game to see if your attention to her vanishes after second or third date.

Good play for you, I think, is to play along. Go for a hug, and then a kiss. She should kiss, but if she don't, ask her if she has a boyfriend already. Come up with location for your 3rd date where you can hug and kiss her right away, somewhere kinda private.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I agree that she would appear to be a contradiction.

There could be varied reasons:
she could be emotionally cheating on someone (which women do not view as 'cheating' if not physical) , she could be nearing a herpes outbreak (a pal that has this told me that he has to be overly cautious) , she could have a case of covid-phobia, she could have repressed feelings toward women etc... Also, it sounds like you already have enough experiences and all, but be aware of having good hygiene as well.

As long as she's willing to pay her half on dates and is good looking enough... you could look at this as a space-filler on an off night (it never hurts to be seen at your hangout spots with an attractive woman).

 

[Lookatu]

I agree with all of the above.

It all boils down to how long you're willing to stick it out with her.

Have you guys talked about her past relationships at all? That could give you certain indications whether she's being genuine or just toying around with you.

I have met some girls that are super cautious around dating due to various reasons as stated(herpes outbreak, recent breakup, cheating, defensive tactic to reduce in getting hurt, abuse, screening out the fvckboys, etc)

 

[Barrister]

Met this new woman and have been out with her twice. Seems like we both enjoyed ourselves both times, and she has been initiating texts and has told me after the dates that she had fun and thanked me for taking her out. The last one we played mini golf and then went for drinks...she lost at golf and bought the drinks(and actually kept asking me if I wanted another one). Also tried to pay for golf as well but I told her I got it and thst she could get me a drink if she lost.

She hs initiated kino and sits close to me, leans in, likes it when I stroke her hair, etc etc...all the normal signs that I see when a woman is interested in me. She even has told me that I make her nervous(in a good way) and that is why she plays with her hair at times.

But here is the crazy part...she isn't down for kissing. She turns her head and avoids it...like a kid whose Mom is trying to make them take a spoon of Cod Liver Oil. She claims she is nervous and can be really shy. But she insists it has nothing to do with not being interested in me.

I have never in my life been in a situation like this. Unsure what I should do. I mean the signs point to her being interested(currently has triple texted me twice last night and when I didn't respond sent a good morning text already today), but this is just really weird...I could understand no kiss on the first date...but again on the second? Just seems weird. Unsure if I should just tell her this isn't going to work out or if I should just ignore it and invite her over to my place to cook dinner(we talked about it and she said that would be fun). Maybe it's a being out in public thing?

Thoughts?

Very odd considering it doesn't fit in with the rest of her behavior. Were there any visible sores? Maybe herpes?

I had this happen once a few years ago escalating with a woman. Whenever I got close to rubbing her vag she would always grab my hand. At first I thought she must be incredibly prude and it didn't fit with the rest of her behavior. I then, on the third date, was told she had genital herpes. I ended it after that.

 

[derby1]

shes in a relationship with another man....

There all in relationships fellas, every single one of them.

some of them have weird ways of hiding and behaving around it.

 

[Kotaix]

shes in a relationship with another man....

There all in relationships fellas, every single one of them.

some of them have weird ways of hiding and behaving around it.

I think we have a winner.

You should just go in for it and kiss her. If she doesn't like it, then tell her to stop wasting your time.

You could also try touching her neck first. If she tilts her head away, kiss her there and see what she does.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think we have a winner.

You should just go in for it and kiss her. If she doesn't like it, then tell her to stop wasting your time.

You could also try touching her neck first. If she tilts her head away, kiss her there and see what she does.

I have tried on both dates.

 

[zinc4]

Drop her OP. Waste of time and it will drain you.

 

[bat soup]

Met this new woman and have been out with her twice. Seems like we both enjoyed ourselves both times, and she has been initiating texts and has told me after the dates that she had fun and thanked me for taking her out. The last one we played mini golf and then went for drinks...she lost at golf and bought the drinks(and actually kept asking me if I wanted another one). Also tried to pay for golf as well but I told her I got it and thst she could get me a drink if she lost.

She hs initiated kino and sits close to me, leans in, likes it when I stroke her hair, etc etc...all the normal signs that I see when a woman is interested in me. She even has told me that I make her nervous(in a good way) and that is why she plays with her hair at times.

But here is the crazy part...she isn't down for kissing. She turns her head and avoids it...like a kid whose Mom is trying to make them take a spoon of Cod Liver Oil. She claims she is nervous and can be really shy. But she insists it has nothing to do with not being interested in me.

I have never in my life been in a situation like this. Unsure what I should do. I mean the signs point to her being interested(currently has triple texted me twice last night and when I didn't respond sent a good morning text already today), but this is just really weird...I could understand no kiss on the first date...but again on the second? Just seems weird. Unsure if I should just tell her this isn't going to work out or if I should just ignore it and invite her over to my place to cook dinner(we talked about it and she said that would be fun). Maybe it's a being out in public thing?

Thoughts?

Try fingering her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Drop her OP. Waste of time and it will drain you.

She keeps initiating texts...going to invite her over to cook dinner with me and give her one last shot to see if it is a being in public thing. If still nothing then she will be getting dropped like a bad habit.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She keeps initiating texts.

Initiating texts and communicating a lot isn't directly linked to romantic desire. Needy girls who just want platonic attention do this too. They do it with men instead of women because women don't have any motivation to dedicate all the time and energy required to fill their neediness void, but men do so they surf that wave of male attention as long as they can until the guy finally realizes she's just an attention wh*re.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Initiating texts and communicating a lot isn't directly linked to romantic desire. Needy girls who just want platonic attention do this too. They do it with men instead of women because women don't have any motivation to dedicate all the time and energy required to fill their neediness void, but men do so they surf that wave of male attention as long as they can until the guy finally realizes she's just an attention wh*re.

Might be the case, but it doesn't do any harm in finding out with certainty.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

some girls out there just don't like kissing for whatever reason, i had one that thought it was gross and unsanitary and refused to do it but she was down with spreading her legs and getting boinked. Course she had the same repulsion to giving head so that didnt last long. Maybe she's one of those types? Id escalate by kissing her necks and ears and grab a boob and see how that is received and move down from there if she doesnt throw up the stop sign. Was me i'd also make it clear in text you're not interested in being friends and want sex sooner rather than later. Her response dictates your next move. I make it clear up front i won't chase to hard to get laid, too old for that crap anymore

 

[BackInTheGame78]

some girls out there just don't like kissing for whatever reason, i had one that thought it was gross and unsanitary and refused to do it but she was down with spreading her legs and getting boinked. Course she had the same repulsion to giving head so that didnt last long. Maybe she's one of those types? Id escalate by kissing her necks and ears and grab a boob and see how that is received and move down from there if she doesnt throw up the stop sign. Was me i'd also make it clear in text you're not interested in being friends and want sex sooner rather than later. Her response dictates your next move. I make it clear up front i won't chase to hard to get laid, too old for that crap anymore

Nah, I will just invite her over to my place and if she comes that is basically her saying she is DTF. No need to express any of that verbally.

 

[isasda66]

not attracted to you, or simply looking for male attention

I'd put my money on these ones the most especially those c0ckteases looking for attention.
Sometimes an old plate would suddenly move head head aside and just smile. She just loved teasing me. She was a massive tease. Everytime I threatened by action to walk away she would suddenly cling on hard