Do we really think ignoring a flake works? We need a new strategy!

[nismo-4]

All rise!

I've recently looked at a lot of stuff about dealing with a girl who flakes, or worse she ghosts. I've seen a lot of sh*t along the lines of:

1. Ignore her or ghost her
2. Say ok or no problem
3. Call her out
4. Wish her the best
5. Put the ball in her court
6. Tell her to let you know when she's free to meet

Here's some issues I have with all these, and I'll go down the line. Aside from any of these may make the girl think you're butthurt. And of course, the fact she fundamentally showed disinterest first doesn't help because you haven't had sex yet. There's also female youtubers like Sheraseven, Chloe, Michaela Pink, and Pink Pill to talk about only dating guys who have a huge bag (money) and weed out guys who just want sex/sex first before a 5 star dinner. They call these guys dusty.

1. Ignoring her in most cases, doesn't do much unless you're among her best options. She won't miss you, well unless you're Lebron James or Elon Musk. Most women won't call back, and when they do it's often to get you in a beta role. I watched AMS' take on flaking, and he was saying to invite her over if she call back. What he doesn't realize is that's a 1/256 chance. She's got a boatload of options from social media and dating apps. So she's still in control and has the power. Yeah you weeded out an attention wh0re but you didn't get laid.

2. Saying ok or no problem, who the hell came up with that? Saying this just confirms she's in power and you're just a pushover. She now tells her friends to hit you up and they flake on you because you approve their bad behavior. Like attracts like.

3. Calling her out is a butthurt move, unless you're telling her off and also letting her know you're not talking to her anymore. Do delete her number.

4. Wishing her the best, well let's remember that she told you to go to hell earlier. Sure she may get upset she can't get attention and resources from you, but let's face it, you weren't her best option. You were just between beta and useless. She'd only deal with you if you're gonna subscribe to her onlyfans or be a fan. She'll just wish you the best too. Extra points if you send her a pic of you and the new girl or a video of you smashing another girl. That's the guy saying go to hell, but it doesn't advance the interaction any.

5. Putting the ball in their court, why are we letting her know she already has a competitive edge? Letting her know she gotta make the next move, yeah that's good. But how often does she make the next move? You're more likely to hear "OK". And you'll never hear from her again. She's got so many options from her socials to even care if the ball is in her court. But she knows it's there. She'd hit the ball back to you if you played in the NBA and you know it.

6. This is like putting the onus on her, and making her invest. If she had no feelings for you and you haven't dated yet, what good do you think this sh*t will do? You won't hear from her again, she won't hear from you again. All you did was tell her that you're not a pushover, and you're not in power. Like you're telling your friends you quit a job that never hired you. You still want sex, she has it, and you just refuse to play the game. Have fun with your right hand and that lotion, cuz she's having fun with Chad, Tyrone, and Enrique! I won't address that 1/256 chance she calls you for obvious reasons.

So what should we do with all this being said? I've looked at AMS, StephisCold, MJGetRight, Darius M, and FitXFearless. The majority says cut her off, only AMS says don't delete or block her number because it makes you look weak. Does it really make you look weak? I disagree.

What have I done to battle this? First, I've been one to flake first if I sense a flake coming i.e. short responses, late responses, power plays. But is there any benefit to flaking first? Now if you're on your purpose and handling business, I could see that very well. But to flake first just to flake, erm...yeah, you won't get the girl, she gets her back blown out by Tyrone, you get your back strained out setting up your Smart TV and Playstation 5.

I've been the guy who drops little subtle hints of my exes still being around, this creates competition and you're a man with options. Hey, when both parties are playing that IDGAF sh*t, nothing advances. Guy doesn't get laid or a chance at a relationship, girl doesn't get attention, a new fan, or resources.

I've been big on the 1 strike rule since I do online a lot. Now I'm even bigger on it. I tell when I'm free and this is your only chance. And I say "If you get unresponsive or cancel out, I'm never speaking to you again." And say it in a matter-of-fact tone. Mode 1 fellas. Sure she may block you, but that lets you know she just wanted free meals and validation.

Of course if she decides to reach back out, only go by her or she comes by you. And no dates until she swallowed a cup of your cüm and you've penetrated her pü$$y several times. She flaked, you gotta punish her ass. This does hinge on her actually calling back and her wanting sex from you. She'll flake again if she just wanted a free meal.

Alas everything hinges on what she needs at the time you talk to her i.e. does she need dik? Does she need onlyfans subscribers? Does she need more social media followers? Does she need someone to paint her room? Does she want a meal at this new restaurant? Does she need a shoulder to cry on because Tyrone abused her (butt crack)? Does she need her utility bills paid because her sugar daddy left her? Etc. Etc.

What we need is different strategies of dealing with flakes and ghosts. Fellas, you have the floor...let's hear how you deal with them.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Girls sometimes flake for valid reasons. If a girl likes you, she will always be apologetic and, as part of the flake itself, suggest alternative days she is available. "Hey, I'm really sorry about this, but my mom's car broke down and I have to pick her up. I feel really bad about this but do want to see you - could you do another day this week? If so name it and I'll make it work." I will accept that graciously. Before you've met for the first time F2F (assuming you met online), you really can't expect a whole lot from her - you aren't even a real person yet. For a first F2F date from OLD if she flakes without offering a re-schedule in the same breathe, and if she is at least polite about it, I'll usually just say, "Hey, no worries. We can do it some other time," and that's it. If she is short/curt about it, I won't even reply. I like the "some other time" bit because you are basically saying you are done, without directly saying it, and without being able to be criticized for "being rude" by women, most of whom will try to play the victim in response. You are saying you aren't butt-hurt, but that you won't be reaching back out to her again, and offering no clue as to what you will do if SHE reaches back out. I'm not going to put the ball in her court. If she does reach back out, she's getting an invite to my house and that's it. The only time I put the ball in a woman's court is when I try to set a date and she declines for a plausibly valid excuse but doesn't offer a counter. In that case I'll say, "Ah, I gotcha, well let me know when your schedule clears up" and we will never talk again unless she calls me to schedule a date.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Strategy for what? You should have enough women in the pipeline that this won't even be a blip on your radar.

Instead of worrying about this, spend the time getting more women in your pipeline.

 

[nismo-4]

Strategy for what? You should have enough women in the pipeline that this won't even be a blip on your radar.

Instead of worrying about this, spend the time getting more women in your pipeline.

Yeah but you actually need to be banging them for them to be considered a prospect. Getting numbers is good, but if those aren't converting into meets, dates, or lays, it means nothing. Trying to get them in the pipeline is fine and dandy, but trying is not succeeding. Succeeding is succeeding.

I had 6 new women in the pipeline, and they did a combination of flaking, ghosting, met somebody else, and one-phonecall-wonder. Of course I got rid of them all, no simping here. And no social media following either, just unfriending.

Sure, I threw out 6 bad apples, but gained no good apples. What sexual and dating experience do you gain from having no apples? Exactly, nothing!

 

[Aeterna]

When a girl flakes on me regardless of a re-schedule, I just ghost.

I don’t ghost because I want to manipulate her into reaching back out to me...I do it because I simply lost interest.

I cleared out my schedule to just entertain some girl for a few hours until I get the “Golden P”, she canceled, and then I have to clear out my schedule again? Hell no!

And we don’t need strategies. That’s just taking them way too seriously and all you’re going to do is end up confused and frustrated.

What we really need is self respect and morals. If the girl isn’t following your program then find someone else who will.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah but you actually need to be banging them for them to be considered a prospect. Getting numbers is good, but if those aren't converting into meets, dates, or lays, it means nothing. Trying to get them in the pipeline is fine and dandy, but trying is not succeeding. Succeeding is succeeding.

I had 6 new women in the pipeline, and they did a combination of flaking, ghosting, met somebody else, and one-phonecall-wonder. Of course I got rid of them all, no simping here. And no social media following either, just unfriending.

Sure, I threw out 6 bad apples, but gained no good apples. What sexual and dating experience do you gain from having no apples? Exactly, nothing!

Then continue to build the pipeline. You should be working on meeting/getting numbers from 5-10 new women a week every week. After a month or two you should cut it down appropriately once a rotation has been established and replace the bottom of the rotation as you see fit.

The overwhelming problem most guys have is they refuse to keep adding new women to the pipeline once they have 1 that is interested.

In a numbers game if you refuse to work on getting enough numbers you will lose every single time.

Your issue is once you got the 6 you stopped. 6 is nowhere near enough if you haven't met/banged any of them. There are no shortcuts to this. It's numbers plain and simple.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I have one right now, tonight and last week (threaten?) tell me that she's considering leaving her current job (taken as a last resort due to COVID back in April 2020), because her former job is coming back due to restrictions being lifted. She's done with me now apparently. This chick has bought me birthday presents, spur-of-the-moment presents, and Christmas presents. She's 16 years younger. She does not want kids. Tonight she floated that she may never see me again. I think she's so p!ssed that I never initiate and/or "give" or show emotion or interest. She's given up, and tonight showed more attention or "love" towards another dude (about 7-8 years younger than me, not better looking, and has kids from previous marriage/gf). She's also sent Him cards, I know of. I have no idea if he's fvcking her behind my back. I'm like tah-tah, and tonight she was like "Hi, Bye?" to me because I was trying to get away really not wanting to talk to her. She's sweet, thin, and hot, but she's not what I'm looking for. She's got a heart condition, doesn't want kids, seems to "love bomb" not just me but other dudes seeing who will take the bait (I don't, but she's been to my house thrice).

I love her, but she's too selfish, and she's admitted that as well. She must been the heart of darkness from me, but I'm just MEAN, and I don't Care, and "tough" I guess and while I feel a "Turn Around..." you know that song that I should turn away from hate, I go on hating (her). If I were to show any lovey dovey or emotion towards her I'm sure that she would drop interest cause it's my cold as a steel rail way of dealing with her of late that's keeping her emotionally distraught or puzzled or heart-broken or sad or "Why won't he pursue me???!" when many other guys you know for sure, ARE, pursuing her. I just don't Care, but my heartstrings are pulled, but I push it down, ignore it, her despair.

 

[Serenity]

Such women turn me off anyways, I ignore and cut my losses (time). I don't care if she's getting d!cked down by Chad, Tyrone or whoever. She doesn't appeal to me and I'm not going to spend an awful lot of effort struggling to keep the interest of a mediocre b!tch. I value my time more than I value women, if they offer nothing to give me a good time or worse tries to give me a hard time then I'm out.

Ignoring a flake doesn't work in the sense that you'll get the girl, it works in the sense that you'll save your precious time for better prospects.

 

[mikey2012]

If she flakes just move on . Invest in other prospects.

 

[Bigpapa]

The truth is that it is a numbers game , and women are very spoiled by men in terms of attention

why ignoring her flake and then being cold towards her while becoming warmer as she invests more is working , it is because more or less you behave totally opposite to most guys so know she thinks that maybe she did not read well your value and is now intrigued

sure , in some cases you will have the above results , while in some she will not say anything at all

if the latter happens , you can try to set up 2 different meetups with her ( just to exclude that she just wants to see how interested you are in her , as we know that women are very risk adverse ) , after you just put the ball in her court

the higher the value of the woman , the more effort you have to put in order to convert her by being a little bit more persistent than usual

 

[mikey2012]

Flaking= Low IL .. move on. why complicate things?

 

[B80]

Girls sometimes flake for valid reasons. If a girl likes you, she will always be apologetic and, as part of the flake itself, suggest alternative days she is available. "Hey, I'm really sorry about this, but my mom's car broke down and I have to pick her up. I feel really bad about this but do want to see you - could you do another day this week? If so name it and I'll make it work." I will accept that graciously. Before you've met for the first time F2F (assuming you met online), you really can't expect a whole lot from her - you aren't even a real person yet. For a first F2F date from OLD if she flakes without offering a re-schedule in the same breathe, and if she is at least polite about it, I'll usually just say, "Hey, no worries. We can do it some other time," and that's it. If she is short/curt about it, I won't even reply. I like the "some other time" bit because you are basically saying you are done, without directly saying it, and without being able to be criticized for "being rude" by women, most of whom will try to play the victim in response. You are saying you aren't butt-hurt, but that you won't be reaching back out to her again, and offering no clue as to what you will do if SHE reaches back out. I'm not going to put the ball in her court. If she does reach back out, she's getting an invite to my house and that's it. The only time I put the ball in a woman's court is when I try to set a date and she declines for a plausibly valid excuse but doesn't offer a counter. In that case I'll say, "Ah, I gotcha, well let me know when your schedule clears up" and we will never talk again unless she calls me to schedule a date.

yeah girl I'm seeing now flaked on me a month or so into us dating. she said something like 'i'm sorry, can't do tonight as I'm moving back with my parents as the ex is trying to get hold of my daughter'.

quite an extreme excuse, but I wasn't happy at all, rather selfishly. thought she was playing me, had it in my head after reading a lot on this site that she was taking the p1ss with flaking and no woman would ever do that to a man they really liked, so almost hammered back a butt hurt response, 'putting her in her place'.

an hour later just said 'no worries, hope you're ok and you get things sorted'. next day she text me to see how I was and I mentioned my brother is policeman and she volunteered the incident number for the call she claimed to have made, which checked out with him.

month or 2 later and things are escalating and going really well, so I'm glad I didn't act on impulse and send the message my ego initially wanted to. feel embarrassed just thinking about

 

[Focal core]

All rise? ambition became unrealize

 

[Focal core]

Tldr: turning around from your self-worth for pvssy always chump behavior.

 

[mike465]

It’s so that you don’t waste your time. You always laugh though when they come back and you didn’t even notice they were gone

 

[derby1]

Cant wait till they release the bots .......and a guy with status buys one so it removes the stigma

these Hoes gonna be sleeping in depression

 

[fastlife]

Hot girls in the 18-22 y/o range flake. It’s what they do. They’re just going with their emotions and those emotions change constantly. Getting upset about it or scheming ways to avoid it is a total waste of energy. The only reliable way to avoid flaking is to sleep with her the night you meet her.

I don’t do dates—just invite girls over for wine at the apartment for off nights where I don’t really have anything else going on, so I expect flakes to happen and when they do it’s just not a big deal. As far as aftermath, I put them on ice for a couple weeks and try again if I’m still interested. A lot of it is just a matter of catching the girl at the right time and this approach works more often than you’d think. That said, the best way to avoid all this to begin with is to meet girls in person, make an emotional impact, and try to make things happen that night.

(If you’re doing OLD, you’re going to be dealing with a lot of flakes. OLD for a girl is nuts (ask to use one of your girl friend’s Tinder as a joke and see for yourself). You’re literally just another pop-up on a screen. In-person is way better, but even that’s getting flakier every year IME so you have to be working volume.)

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Strategy for what? You should have enough women in the pipeline that this won't even be a blip on your radar.

Instead of worrying about this, spend the time getting more women in your pipeline.

+1

Beat me to it playboy.

Op, not doing it right. No strategy required.

Comply or bye!

It's not up for debate. She comes feminine, cooperative, and dtf or #next.

As a man, you go for the close and sale. no free attention. your strategy is SOURCE via volume. Options.

I don't fix what's broken. There's no comparison to genuine desire. I don't care it's pandemic. I lead. She follows or #next

 

[AlphaDraconis]

If she flakes, it means she’s not really into you, and thinks she can do better. Therefore, the way to deal with this issue is to accept you’re not right for each other, then cut all ties and move on.

Just sticking around to be her Yo-Yo guy will make her disrespect and play you more.

 

[nismo-4]

If she flakes, it means she’s not really into you, and thinks she can do better. Therefore, the way to deal with this issue is to accept you’re not right for each other, then cut all ties and move on.

Just sticking around to be her Yo-Yo guy will make her disrespect and play you more.

Agreed.

I do move on from flakes, deleting their numbers and the text logs with it (no wonder why my phone got a little faster).

I do see stuff in the manosphere about being persistent (which I mostly don't buy, I have a 1 strike policy). To me, trying again with a flake is chasing. I'm sure the board agrees.

I'm not gonna sit her and talk about how I turned a flake around, cuz I haven't. I did get texts from some of these same girls weeks later saying hey. I ignore these knowing it's often to get me to come around and accept some beta orbiter role. I do remember using Mode One on a lot of new girls. What did I get?

1. First date flaked
2. Ghosted
3. I met someone else by text
4. This won't work out since we want different things.
5. One phonecall wonder
6. One meetup wonder

I consider covid an excuse too.

This happened to everyone here. If it didn't, you're lying. Well, every guy here wants to gain more experience with women, especially dating and sex wise. No guy wants to sit home all week In front of a Playstation 5 unless he's creating games for it.