How should i handle this?

[Depressedguy]

This is going to be a long one.

There is this girl in college I used to like last year. We both were pretty much into each other and it was clear.

But I sensed things were going too fast for me.

So I decided I'll just slow down to the pace I'm comfortable at. And I did a mistake of saying something about standards when she was around. That I'd never date a girl with standards and that I have a pretty high standard. Maybe, the she took it personally...

She starts flirting and texting with pretty much each of my friend. I just ignored her initially but then she got more aggressive. 2 of my(so called) friends started enjoying this and kinda became aggressive towards me. She did propose a relationship to one of them and I don't know why but he declined. Went on several dates with the other and one way or the other, told me about it. When I did said "Great! I wish you both a happy relationship!" Non chalantly because I was tired of all this. I thought these 2 were my closest friends in college. Simps.

After all this, a year later, she has started texting me again and getting all flirty and stuff. I don't want her. yet I do want to apologize (more like make things clear about what I said was not pointed at her. Her best friend had filled her ears with posion).

I don't have any kind of feelings left for her. Her best friend has also manipulated her guy friends(which were 'mutual'. Those simps were also interested in her) against me. My extra curricular will hurt if I'm not connected to the right people which in turn will affect my masters application. I need an advice.

 

[cabaceira]

You still have feelings for her. If you didn't you would just dont give a ****.
My opinion is if u want to **** her do it, if u want to " solve things " etc etc, just dont talk to her anymore, it isn't worth the time.

 

[darksprezzatura]

This is going to be a long one.

There is this girl in college I used to like last year. We both were pretty much into each other and it was clear.

But I sensed things were going too fast for me.

So I decided I'll just slow down to the pace I'm comfortable at. And I did a mistake of saying something about standards when she was around. That I'd never date a girl with standards and that I have a pretty high standard. Maybe, the she took it personally...

She starts flirting and texting with pretty much each of my friend. I just ignored her initially but then she got more aggressive. 2 of my(so called) friends started enjoying this and kinda became aggressive towards me. She did propose a relationship to one of them and I don't know why but he declined. Went on several dates with the other and one way or the other, told me about it. When I did said "Great! I wish you both a happy relationship!" Non chalantly because I was tired of all this. I thought these 2 were my closest friends in college. Simps.

After all this, a year later, she has started texting me again and getting all flirty and stuff. I don't want her. yet I do want to apologize (more like make things clear about what I said was not pointed at her. Her best friend had filled her ears with posion).

I don't have any kind of feelings left for her. Her best friend has also manipulated her guy friends(which were 'mutual'. Those simps were also interested in her) against me. My extra curricular will hurt if I'm not connected to the right people which in turn will affect my masters application. I need an advice.

Let's put this in a nutshell:

- you and a chick liked each other
- chick starts to flirt with your friends
- your close friends flirt back
- chick mentions it explicitly and gets you jealous
- chick fvcks off
- chick returns after an year and acts like nothing changed
- you feel like apologising to her
- you're worried about your career

DON'T OVERANALYSE!

What do you think YOU should do my man?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Any girl who goes after your friends in order to hurt you is a girl you should avoid at all costs. Just ignore her. You owe her nothing - no apology, nothing... because you didn't do anything wrong in what you said to her previously about standards, and you need to stop worrying what other people think about you. Caring too much about what people think about you (especially people you don't want/need in your life, or people who criticize or judge you), is a SERIOUS problem you need to learn to get over. You also can't control what other people think of you.

On another note, why did you feel things were "going too fast" for you?

 

[Lookatu]

College Drama
You feel she did you wrong in some way
You claim you don't like her or want her

What's the problem? Next her and don't talk to her anymore. It's as simple as that.

You're 21 and in the prime to get sooooo many other chicks. You should approach each chick with a short fuse and move on if they don't comply or if they disrespect you in any way. Don't waste time on any one chick.

You talked about standards. Start having your own standards to either ignore, not care, or walk away from these kinds of situations.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Let me make certain things clear.

#1 You still like her. That much is obvious. You saying you don't is like chicks on OLD saying they don't want hookups. It's you trying to convince yourself of something that isn't true by writing it down.

#2 You don't want a woman with standards? Why? Do you have that little to offer that you wouldn't meet their standard? Sounds like you don't have a very high opinion of yourself. I would work on that. Other people cannot place a high value on you until you place a high value on yourself.

#3 Your career has nothing to do with any of this. Their effects and influence on that area of your life are minimal to non existent unless you allow them to be. Careers depend on what YOU do for yourself not what others do. Unless these people are the only ones in an industry and they are the ones determining if you get hired or not which seems extremely unlikely since they are your age. Trust me. People care infinitely more about themselves and their career and lives than they do about you and yours.

 

[Depressedguy]

Any girl who goes after your friends in order to hurt you is a girl you should avoid at all costs. Just ignore her. You owe her nothing - no apology, nothing... because you didn't do anything wrong in what you said to her previously about standards, and you need to stop worrying what other people think about you. Caring too much about what people think about you (especially people you don't want/need in your life, or people who criticize or judge you), is a SERIOUS problem you need to learn to get over. You also can't control what other people think of you.

On another note, why did you feel things were "going too fast" for you?

Thanks for the advice. I know girls try to make you jealous but texting and flirting each of my friends was too much so I walked away. The reason I felt I should clear things up was because I think her best friend did manipulate her into doing some of this stuff. How she did is another story itself.

The reason is, It was like, she hinted at commitment within a week or two. I have barely talked to her the entire semester so I didn't know how she really is as a person. I actually came to a point of saying yes but I didn't because it didn't feel right to me at that time. It was too early to commit.

 

[LuciferMorningstar]

This is going to be a long one.

There is this girl in college I used to like last year. We both were pretty much into each other and it was clear.

But I sensed things were going too fast for me.

So I decided I'll just slow down to the pace I'm comfortable at. And I did a mistake of saying something about standards when she was around. That I'd never date a girl with standards and that I have a pretty high standard. Maybe, the she took it personally...

She starts flirting and texting with pretty much each of my friend. I just ignored her initially but then she got more aggressive. 2 of my(so called) friends started enjoying this and kinda became aggressive towards me. She did propose a relationship to one of them and I don't know why but he declined. Went on several dates with the other and one way or the other, told me about it. When I did said "Great! I wish you both a happy relationship!" Non chalantly because I was tired of all this. I thought these 2 were my closest friends in college. Simps.

After all this, a year later, she has started texting me again and getting all flirty and stuff. I don't want her. yet I do want to apologize (more like make things clear about what I said was not pointed at her. Her best friend had filled her ears with posion).

I don't have any kind of feelings left for her. Her best friend has also manipulated her guy friends(which were 'mutual'. Those simps were also interested in her) against me. My extra curricular will hurt if I'm not connected to the right people which in turn will affect my masters application. I need an advice.

She flirted with your friends after you, should be an instant ghost. Self respect above any woman bro.