If I don't have high attraction interest in a man, can I tell him at the time of his approach or will he try to punish me?

[christie]

No you don’t really write like anyone else. That’s why you’re you.

Yes, I'm really me!

I think that was a D.A.R.E. slogan they used to spread around at the different schools. That was a good thing they were doing. It would be good if that still existed.

I'd love to revive that or get into awareness/education of fetal alcohol syndrome.

 

[sangheilios]

@christie



I'm not sure if this is a troll thread but have you ever actually met or seen any of these "bodybuilder" types in person? I've been around gym culture since I was 18, I'm currently 30, and I have a lot to share with you about these men. This is long but something you should find very insightful.

For starters, most of these men you see online are heavily edited on their social media, they do this with lighting, angles, tanning, etc. There is a phrase these douchebags use when they are in photos together online, when one looks bigger than another they'll say things like "I was out angled by.....". Most of these guys are also short AF, I'm 6'4" and there is this guy in my area who on his instagram claims to be a "real estate expert" and "trainer", the guy is maybe 5'4" and in real life looks half the size he does in his photos. The guy literally knew nothing about training, wasn't/isn't in shape and just shows up doing fluff and pump exercises on machines and relies on all of these things I've mentioned, as well as steroids, which I'll get into below. I actually posted on his social media about this and he went OUT of his way to find out who I was, when he saw me in person he did absolutely nothing about it, massive douche.

They also rely heavily on drugs, getting dangerously lean and cutting water to look this way. Also, do you realize that these roid boys will have shrunken testicles, are sterile and that their ejaculate volume is virtually nonexistent? There is also a drug, none as deca, that is fairly popular and one of the side effects is "deca ****", meaning they have erectile dysfunction. In regards to personality changes, I feel that the men who get into "bodybuilding" and from there go on drugs had some rather negative personality traits to begin with (immaturity, narcissism, etc.) and that this essentially just magnifies traits that they already have, I'm basing this off of my observations and interactions I've had with these men. One thing I've noticed when some of these men would go on cycles is that they'd come across as far more ****y, as if being this roided up man was the be all end all of their existence. The interesting thing was that when they were off it seemed to be much less noticeable. Your stereotypical "meathead" who had little else going for him.

Getting more into personality, I can share some deeper insight into this. Most of these men, from my experience, seem to come across as rather immature and quite frankly just not that intelligent. A lot of this behavior I see as something I'd expect from a guy still in high school or maybe in his early 20s, like a star athlete, etc. However, the fact that a grow man goes around carrying shaker bottles with him, is constantly taking pictures of himself, checking himself out in the mirror comes across as not only OCD and narcissistic but far more feminine in my opinion. It's not a male trait to constantly be concerned about your appearance, akin to that of women doing their hair or their makeup, etc. Something that I alluded to earlier, is that many of these men are fake AF and that their lives are not what they seem. Rich Piana, a bodybuilder type famous on youtube, had a supplement company and claimed to have made his money through investments and real estate. After he died it was revealed that he made his money by being a drug dealer, mostly in regards to selling steroids. He also had a massive recreational drug issue, which is something I've seen with some of these men as well.

Which brings me to a final point that many are unware of.

Are you aware that the bodybuilding world has a MAJOR gay following and that it's culture was rooted from this? There were rumors that the late Joe Weider, considered the godfather of modern bodybuilding, was a gay man that had a fetish for muscular men. I can't post this on here, but there are several popular bodybuilder types that are famous on the internet that have evidence of doing gay porn. You can google search "Kai Greene grapefruit" or "Kali Muscle Chuck Basher" as some examples of this. I've also seen some evidence of these guys doing gay for pay, at a certain point the cycles these guys are on becomes ridiculous in regards to the cost and there is absolutely no way these guys are making anywhere near this with sponsors from this b.s supplement companies.

I could keep going on and on but if you have any further questions I can help, overall these are men that I'd avoid being around in a social environment, let alone if I was a woman looking for a relationship.

 

[christie]

@christie



I'm not sure if this is a troll thread but have you ever actually met or seen any of these "bodybuilder" types in person? I've been around gym culture since I was 18, I'm currently 30, and I have a lot to share with you about these men. This is long but something you should find very insightful.

For starters, most of these men you see online are heavily edited on their social media, they do this with lighting, angles, tanning, etc. There is a phrase these douchebags use when they are in photos together online, when one looks bigger than another they'll say things like "I was out angled by.....". Most of these guys are also short AF, I'm 6'4" and there is this guy in my area who on his instagram claims to be a "real estate expert" and "trainer", the guy is maybe 5'4" and in real life looks half the size he does in his photos. The guy literally knew nothing about training, wasn't/isn't in shape and just shows up doing fluff and pump exercises on machines and relies on all of these things I've mentioned, as well as steroids, which I'll get into below. I actually posted on his social media about this and he went OUT of his way to find out who I was, when he saw me in person he did absolutely nothing about it, massive douche.

They also rely heavily on drugs, getting dangerously lean and cutting water to look this way. Also, do you realize that these roid boys will have shrunken testicles, are sterile and that their ejaculate volume is virtually nonexistent? There is also a drug, none as deca, that is fairly popular and one of the side effects is "deca ****", meaning they have erectile dysfunction. In regards to personality changes, I feel that the men who get into "bodybuilding" and from there go on drugs had some rather negative personality traits to begin with (immaturity, narcissism, etc.) and that this essentially just magnifies traits that they already have, I'm basing this off of my observations and interactions I've had with these men. One thing I've noticed when some of these men would go on cycles is that they'd come across as far more ****y, as if being this roided up man was the be all end all of their existence. The interesting thing was that when they were off it seemed to be much less noticeable. Your stereotypical "meathead" who had little else going for him.

Getting more into personality, I can share some deeper insight into this. Most of these men, from my experience, seem to come across as rather immature and quite frankly just not that intelligent. A lot of this behavior I see as something I'd expect from a guy still in high school or maybe in his early 20s, like a star athlete, etc. However, the fact that a grow man goes around carrying shaker bottles with him, is constantly taking pictures of himself, checking himself out in the mirror comes across as not only OCD and narcissistic but far more feminine in my opinion. It's not a male trait to constantly be concerned about your appearance, akin to that of women doing their hair or their makeup, etc. Something that I alluded to earlier, is that many of these men are fake AF and that their lives are not what they seem. Rich Piana, a bodybuilder type famous on youtube, had a supplement company and claimed to have made his money through investments and real estate. After he died it was revealed that he made his money by being a drug dealer, mostly in regards to selling steroids. He also had a massive recreational drug issue, which is something I've seen with some of these men as well.

Which brings me to a final point that many are unware of.

Are you aware that the bodybuilding world has a MAJOR gay following and that it's culture was rooted from this? There were rumors that the late Joe Weider, considered the godfather of modern bodybuilding, was a gay man that had a fetish for muscular men. I can't post this on here, but there are several popular bodybuilder types that are famous on the internet that have evidence of doing gay porn. You can google search "Kai Greene grapefruit" or "Kali Muscle Chuck Basher" as some examples of this. I've also seen some evidence of these guys doing gay for pay, at a certain point the cycles these guys are on becomes ridiculous in regards to the cost and there is absolutely no way these guys are making anywhere near this with sponsors from this b.s supplement companies.

I could keep going on and on but if you have any further questions I can help, overall these are men that I'd avoid being around in a social environment, let alone if I was a woman looking for a relationship.

This is thorough market info, thank you for the time you took to write this.

I think it would be considered a troll thread if I already had this in my life.

I think very hard about what type of man I would most like to be with and now the second part to that decision is what are the specific things I have to do to get that.
The same way any of you red pill guys know that there has to be self improvement in order to be successful.

It gets tiresome you repeating over and over again what your height is sangheilios. Why do you keep doing that?
My ex was that exact height and had diagnosed aspergers and did the same thing.
It was like he could state his height over and over again and it was enough that he didn't have to lift weights or eat clean or give up substance use.

"He was 6'4"" dontchaknow? He doesn't have to selfimprove, he's 6'4"(being sarcastic)

My exfiance before him was 5'4", just for your info too.

 

[sangheilios]

This is thorough market info, thank you for the time you took to write this.

I think it would be considered a troll thread if I already had this in my life.

I think very hard about what type of man I would most like to be with and now the second part to that decision is what are the specific things I have to do to get that.
The same way any of you red pill guys know that there has to be self improvement in order to be successful.

It gets tiresome you repeating over and over again what your height is sangheilios. Why do you keep doing that?
My ex was that exact height and had diagnosed aspergers and did the same thing.
It was like he could state his height over and over again and it was enough that he didn't have to lift weights or eat clean or give up substance use.

"He was 6'4"" dontchaknow? He doesn't have to selfimprove, he's 6'4"(being sarcastic)

My exfiance before him was 5'4", just for your info too.

Ok, this is a troll thread. I don't know why I bothered to write that lol but whatever.

 

[SW15]

@christie

I've been around gym culture since I was 18, I'm currently 30, and I have a lot to share with you about these men.

For starters, most of these men you see online are heavily edited on their social media, they do this with lighting, angles, tanning, etc. There is a phrase these douchebags use when they are in photos together online, when one looks bigger than another they'll say things like "I was out angled by.....". Most of these guys are also short AF, I'm 6'4" and there is this guy in my area who on his instagram claims to be a "real estate expert" and "trainer", the guy is maybe 5'4" and in real life looks half the size he does in his photos. The guy literally knew nothing about training, wasn't/isn't in shape and just shows up doing fluff and pump exercises on machines and relies on all of these things I've mentioned, as well as steroids, which I'll get into below. I actually posted on his social media about this and he went OUT of his way to find out who I was, when he saw me in person he did absolutely nothing about it, massive douche.

They also rely heavily on drugs, getting dangerously lean and cutting water to look this way. Also, do you realize that these roid boys will have shrunken testicles, are sterile and that their ejaculate volume is virtually nonexistent? There is also a drug, none as deca, that is fairly popular and one of the side effects is "deca ****", meaning they have erectile dysfunction. In regards to personality changes, I feel that the men who get into "bodybuilding" and from there go on drugs had some rather negative personality traits to begin with (immaturity, narcissism, etc.) and that this essentially just magnifies traits that they already have, I'm basing this off of my observations and interactions I've had with these men. One thing I've noticed when some of these men would go on cycles is that they'd come across as far more ****y, as if being this roided up man was the be all end all of their existence. The interesting thing was that when they were off it seemed to be much less noticeable. Your stereotypical "meathead" who had little else going for him.

Getting more into personality, I can share some deeper insight into this. Most of these men, from my experience, seem to come across as rather immature and quite frankly just not that intelligent. A lot of this behavior I see as something I'd expect from a guy still in high school or maybe in his early 20s, like a star athlete, etc. However, the fact that a grow man goes around carrying shaker bottles with him, is constantly taking pictures of himself, checking himself out in the mirror comes across as not only OCD and narcissistic but far more feminine in my opinion. It's not a male trait to constantly be concerned about your appearance, akin to that of women doing their hair or their makeup, etc. Something that I alluded to earlier, is that many of these men are fake AF and that their lives are not what they seem. Rich Piana, a bodybuilder type famous on youtube, had a supplement company and claimed to have made his money through investments and real estate. After he died it was revealed that he made his money by being a drug dealer, mostly in regards to selling steroids. He also had a massive recreational drug issue, which is something I've seen with some of these men as well.

Which brings me to a final point that many are unware of.

Are you aware that the bodybuilding world has a MAJOR gay following and that it's culture was rooted from this? There were rumors that the late Joe Weider, considered the godfather of modern bodybuilding, was a gay man that had a fetish for muscular men. I can't post this on here, but there are several popular bodybuilder types that are famous on the internet that have evidence of doing gay porn. You can google search "Kai Greene grapefruit" or "Kali Muscle Chuck Basher" as some examples of this. I've also seen some evidence of these guys doing gay for pay, at a certain point the cycles these guys are on becomes ridiculous in regards to the cost and there is absolutely no way these guys are making anywhere near this with sponsors from this b.s supplement companies.

overall these are men that I'd avoid being around in a social environment, let alone if I was a woman looking for a relationship.

This was really good.

I was unaware of the gay culture with bodybuilding. What's the point of getting big and muscular if you aren't drilling "hot" women (8+) hard?

The points about steroids are really good. If your goal as a man is to get fit enough to make slamming good looking women easier, then steroids should be avoided. I'm all for building muscle and lifting weights. Whatever can be accomplished without steroids should be as far as it goes. I've not taken steroids because of fear of the downsides. I don't want to mess with those. I'd rather be smaller and have a more difficult time attracting women than deal with the consequences of steroids.

 

[Lookatu]

(I feel like I should vacation to Venice Beach when covid air travel changes again and then maybe I'd feel more attraction...isn't that the biggest muscle beach of the world?)

Used to be. Venice and generally LA is a sh1tshow now with tons of homeless camps now. It's crazy how much the liberal people in office now are bringing it down. Venice doesn't enforce any homeless rules now and it's gone down the drain. Contrast that with Santa Monica which is just a couple miles up from there and total stark contrast.
A lot of celebrities, companies, and wealthy dudes are moving out of California this year if they haven't already done so with all the rising taxes and state going down hill.

Just do a search on youtube for Venice Beach homeless to get first hand accounts.

 

[sangheilios]

This was really good.

I was unaware of the gay culture with bodybuilding. What's the point of getting big and muscular if you aren't drilling "hot" women (8+) hard?

The points about steroids are really good. If your goal as a man is to get fit enough to make slamming good looking women easier, then steroids should be avoided. I'm all for building muscle and lifting weights. Whatever can be accomplished without steroids should be as far as it goes. I've not taken steroids because of fear of the downsides. I don't want to mess with those. I'd rather be smaller and have a more difficult time attracting women than deal with the consequences of steroids.

Honestly, if you really visualize bodybuilding and men's physique type competitions it's quite apparent that this is the case. Think about it, a bunch of men with little to no clothes on that shaved their bodies, tanned and oiled themselves.....who then go on stage in front of mostly other men lol. I'm not sure if this is widespread knowledge, but most women aren't even attracted to the overly muscled, excessively lean look you see on these men. Granted, there are exceptions, but most of the people that follow this are other men, as well as the gay culture that I mentioned.

As for specific health consequences, those are pretty well documented. Much of this is definitely dose dependent, meaning that higher doses will come with increased health risks, etc. It's well known that you'd be at a higher risk of heart attacks and strokes, as it's shown your LDL cholesterol levels increase, HDL decreases, red blood cell counts increase, etc. This is also something you even see on testosterone replacement therapy dosages, though to a lesser degree than truly anabolic/unnatural dosages. I've seen some evidence of kidney failure, cancer, enlarged organs, etc....though I feel that these are more from getting into hardcore type drugs, and at ridiculous dosages.

Something else that is interesting is that your estrogen levels increase, this is just your body's response to the massively increased testosterone levels, which can result in things like breast development, the bros call it "***** tits". Another is "moon face" where increased levels of estrogen lead to having a puffy, round looking face. One of the things they'll take in response to this is estrogen blockers, the problem is these ironically can cause erectile dysfunction and increase your risk for osteoporosis, for instance.

Another health side effect is decreased collagen synthesis, which has been well documented. Basically your body has a diminished ability to regenerate it's own connective tissue and there is an increased risk of injuries when training. The bros say their joints get "dried out", there is one drug called winstrol that is widely known to be notorious for this.

If I personally was going to go on gear I'd just stick to using a mild testosterone cycle, so as to minimize health effects. However, I feel that there is no reason to even consider this, as a guy that's already fit and healthy who more or less enjoys this as a hobby. I'm not in the NFL or in a job where being at a higher level in regards to my physical capabilities could mean life or death. I feel that there is nothing unethical or wrong with someone deciding to take these drugs, though in my opinion the average man has no real reason to even consider them.

 

[christie]

Used to be. Venice and generally LA is a sh1tshow now with tons of homeless camps now. It's crazy how much the liberal people in office now are bringing it down. Venice doesn't enforce any homeless rules now and it's gone down the drain. Contrast that with Santa Monica which is just a couple miles up from there and total stark contrast.
A lot of celebrities, companies, and wealthy dudes are moving out of California this year if they haven't already done so with all the rising taxes and state going down hill.

Just do a search on youtube for Venice Beach homeless to get first hand accounts.

ok, I did see a little bit of that in some old photos a guy posted on fb. In a google search, if a fb page comes up, you can still browse through their photos even if I no longer have an account. I screenshotted some Venice Beach pics, I'll look if any include the homeless.

 

[Lookatu]

ok, I did see a little bit of that in some old photos a guy posted on fb. In a google search, if a fb page comes up, you can still browse through their photos even if I no longer have an account. I screenshotted some Venice Beach pics, I'll look if any include the homeless.

This guy is a trip and is funny but first hand account of the current situation on Venice Beach nonetheless.

 

[christie]

This guy is a trip and is funny but first hand account of the current situation on Venice Beach nonetheless.

meh. I just flitted through the video like a butterfly.

I have had dreams of places like this. Although I've never seen this in person. There was a NFB of Canada documentary that showed scenes like this and there was the underground beating-up-the-hobos video with these backgrounds I watched with guys from the steel mill at a party. I should have got up and left.

Meh. The disorder of some of their little spaces and the odd order of others. I think I would rather be mobile if I was homeless, setting up camp in various beautiful nature spots, hunting and fishing and eating wild greens and berries. Why gather so tightly together? Drugs and sex and injury and mental illness I guess.

Where's the musclemen?

You meet people from all over the world who drop in at aa meetings and I can't remember where in the states, but there's some meeting locations that have grocery store homeless packed buggies all lined up parked outside the aa meeting.

I am so intentionally and humbly grateful that I committed to this lifelong program when I did because it is a progressive disease that only gets worse the minute you take your eye off of not working the steps and keep going back to meetings. ugh!

 

[Lookatu]

Where's the musclemen?

That was my whole point. The once great Venice beach is no longer there in the way people envision it from the movies and in the past. Pretty sad...
I've been there 10, 5, 2 years ago. 2 years ago is when the homeless started taking over gradually.

 

[bat soup]

This is what I dread most.

I really don't want to insult a man or have him feel poorly, as I appreciate and admire the effort and guts it took to approach and break-the-ice.

I don't want to feel poorly about his approach either by trying to fake that I find him attractive. I will get sick if I'm dishonest in this way.

How do I say "No thank you, I'm not interested, but thanks for the effort you took and best of luck to you Sir?" when my blunt, honest reason is....I'm not attracted to him.


Does that mean I am entitled because I'm not attracted to many men around here?(I feel like I should vacation to Venice Beach when covid air travel changes again and then maybe I'd feel more attraction...isn't that the biggest muscle beach of the world?)
but I'm not a musclehead myself and so my smv must not match what I'm attracted to (I'm lower)and this is why it appears I'm entitled. But a person can't help what they're attracted to, I thought?

This is a lot to unpack, I know.








Basically, like the thread title asks, can I tell him I'm not attracted or am I asking for trouble?

Just give the polite oneliner "No thank you, I'm not interested, but thank you for the effort you took and best of luck to you Sir" ???

The nicest rejection I ever got was a girl at a coffee shop that thanked me for asking her and said that she was married but otherwise she'd love to. And she was always very friendly to me after that, as I was with her. I think that's the ideal situation, but it takes some level of mutual respect from both parties.

I think there's no need to be rude unless someone keeps insisting and won't go away, but on the other hand to lie and lead someone on is dishonest and unnecessary. A lot of girls seem to make a big effort to avoid actually saying no and want to keep guys in a grey zone where they don't know where they stand. They pretend that they are doing this because they care about a man's ego, when in fact it's really to their own benefit.

At the same time I understand some men can become aggressive/angry when rejected and act out in stupid ways. So women can be timid and use various strategies like giving fake numbers or endless excuses. But then I think some women take this further when they realise that it can be useful to keep guys on the hook.

Women should respect our right to ask (especially as they consider it "a man's job" to make the first move), but we should respect their right to say no. It's totally possible for both men and women to be respectful of each other.

 

[christie]

The nicest rejection I ever got was a girl at a coffee shop that thanked me for asking her and said that she was married but otherwise she'd love to. And she was always very friendly to me after that, as I was with her. I think that's the ideal situation, but it takes some level of mutual respect from both parties.

I think there's no need to be rude unless someone keeps insisting and won't go away, but on the other hand to lie and lead someone on is dishonest and unnecessary. A lot of girls seem to make a big effort to avoid actually saying no and want to keep guys in a grey zone where they don't know where they stand. They pretend that they are doing this because they care about a man's ego, when in fact it's really to their own benefit.

At the same time I understand some men can become aggressive/angry when rejected and act out in stupid ways. So women can be timid and use various strategies like giving fake numbers or endless excuses. But then I think some women take this further when they realise that it can be useful to keep guys on the hook.

Women should respect our right to ask (especially as they consider it "a man's job" to make the first move), but we should respect their right to say no. It's totally possible for both men and women to be respectful of each other.

awww, I'm glad she was nice and gracious and still complimentary to you. Good experience.

I agree its totally possible for both men and women to be respectful of each other.

Great reply, thank you

 

[Rocnavy]

Here’s what I say:

“Thank you for noticing me. I do not feel attraction for you but I appreciate you saying hello. I hope you enjoy your evening.”

If they remain persistent after the sentence above, and keep trying to engage then I will say:

“I have declined you politely. I do not wish to be unkind. I am not interested.”

Sometimes I’ve had to then excuse myself, walk away and circulate because particularly if you are stationary (seated or standing), some men may not catch a clue to move on. That can be a bit awkward.

Interestingly enough it can be the more attractive or more confident men who are at times most affronted. This is because they may rarely be turned down.

And sometimes it is just easier to say “That’s nice of you, but I have a boyfriend.”

However I do not say this in a singles environment.

The problem sometimes is that when a man sees that you are open to other men, but not him, the whole boyfriend line comes off as BS...I mean why would a taken woman be out without her boyfriend? Granted sometimes they are...but a truly taken woman will shut down all comers, not just some.

Food for thought.

If a woman tells me she has a boyfriend but chooses to be open to other men that's gonna let me know that she's not interested in me and I'm backing off. Let me tell you how I approach women, Hello my name is such n such and yours? The reason why I approached you because you caught my eye and I wanna get to know you. If she interested I will give her my number and instruct her to call me so I can a date to meet up. If she's not interested then have a nice day.

 

[christie]

"Have a nice day" is perfect