What's the best way to deal with a text from someone who rejected you

[Dam44]

Thank you everyone for your contributions, they're all helpful.

It's either she's attention-seeking or wants something. I guess I'll find out soon when our University resumes. So I might ask a few questions back and stop being too passive.

I don't just want to get invested again. I really liked her and getting over her was not easy

 

[Bigpapa]

I think if you play those kinds of games you're only going to end up wasting a lot of time on someone that is not really interested in anything more than attention.

Yeah , it is called resilience game , and yes in most cases it will be a dead end , but sometimes you have to go with it if you like the girl a lot so you do not feel bad that you did not tried your best

 

[Glassguy]

Invite her to your place for drinks. You'll know right then and there.

ANYTHING but an enthusiastic YES or SPECIFIC day and time counter offer and you bounce to never be heard from again

 

[Dam44]

Invite her to your place for drinks. You'll know right then and there.

ANYTHING but an enthusiastic YES or SPECIFIC day and time counter offer and you bounce to never be heard from again

We do not live close enough and besides I still live with my parents. But there's a chance I'll be able to do that when universities reopen in January provided COVID cases don't spike.
So I guess I have to wait till then

 

[Glassguy]

We do not live close enough and besides I still live with my parents. But there's a chance I'll be able to do that when universities reopen in January provided COVID cases don't spike.
So I guess I have to wait till then

Then you should be working on bettering your situation. How do you expect to make things happen with chicks living there? How old are you?

 

[Black Widow Void]

You're getting a few conflicting opinions here.

Dare I come across as being pompous, but here's what you/we know and what you/we don't know.

Only the gal knows her intentions (and sometimes women do things and don't even know why).

Here's what you know:

When you laid it on the table and were available, her behavior seemed to suggest disinterest.

Now that you are appearing apathetic and not expressing interest, she's showing some initiative.

What is the motive behind her actions? No one here knows for sure. She may not even know.

What we/you *do* know is that your current reaction seems to appear more favored than your former reaction.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Dam44]

Then you should be working on bettering your situation. How do you expect to make things happen with chicks living there? How old are you?

Still young, 19

 

[Dam44]

You're getting a few conflicting opinions here.

Dare I come across as being pompous, but here's what you/we know and what you/we don't know.

Only the gal knows her intentions (and sometimes women do things and don't even know why).

Here's what you know:

When you laid it on the table and were available, her behavior seemed to suggest disinterest.

Now that you are appearing apathetic and not expressing interest, she's showing some initiative.

What is the motive behind her actions? No one here knows for sure. She may not even know.

What we/you *do* know is that your current reaction seems to appear more favored than your former reaction.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Thank you. I will

 

[bcude]

It's either she's attention-seeking or wants something. I guess I'll find out soon when our University resumes. So I might ask a few questions back and stop being too passive.

I don't just want to get invested again. I really liked her and getting over her was not easy

Then i'd continue with the no investment approach of being polite and cut off conversations (preferably at high points) and starve the oxygen from her casual talk and put the initative on her if she wants something because AFAIK she became the lowest priority in your life the second she rejected you. It might not be the approach with the highest outcome but it certainly will be the approach that's best for your long-term mentality when dealing with girls in this position. I'm very aware of the different ways to go about this and the probabilities. If she wants something she'll make her intentions clear sooner rather than later and so far i'd say she's more looking for attention/validation from someone who likes her and will just prolong your healing in the process, so be very careful with your emotions in this scenario but also know that ultimately only you possess the power to decide if she can string you along, or not.

You'll have a sea of horny 18-22 year olds as soon as school is starting again, have that in mind.

 

[SW15]

Ignore

 

[Glassguy]

Still young, 19

At 19, I would not be giving her much attention since you can't meet up because of your living situation and the distance between the 2 of you.

Tell her that you'll see her when you go back to school and find other women in the meantime.
She will wonder why you aren't chasing her hard and it will also build mystery. You should only respond to texts she initiates and take your sweet time before replying back to her.

 

[Dam44]

but also know that ultimately only you possess the power to decide if she can string you along, or not.

Thanks

At 19, I would not be giving her much attention since you can't meet up because of your living situation and the distance between the 2 of you.

Tell her that you'll see her when you go back to school and find other women in the meantime.
She will wonder why you aren't chasing her hard and it will also build mystery. You should only respond to texts she initiates and take your sweet time before replying back to her.

Thanks, I'll do this.

 

[Dam44]

Ignore

Outrightly?

Just be nice but brief, say you've been busy. Let her invest some more in initiating. If she tries to make plans, don't jump at the first offer, be busy but keep the line open.

Thank you

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I agree with the poster who said she is throwing bread crumbs out to see who she has access to. Simple. If a woman wants you, she will make it quite easy for you to take her in at least covertly. If I were you, I'd ghost her a little bit and then ramp up the heat again some time (fun and flirty exchange, phone call, tell her about some fun experiences you're having but don't ask her to come with you). The point is that you're slowly but surely building up your presence in her mind. Eventually, she will randomly be bored and/or lonely and hit you up. Just keep her as an orbiter. And always be working on developing other plates.

 

[Glassguy]

Just be nice but brief, say you've been busy. Let her invest some more in initiating. If she tries to make plans, don't jump at the first offer, be busy but keep the line open.

This is solid advice

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm going to respectfully disagree with the above.

Though some women may do this (10%) far more (90%) are just bored, lonely, just out of a breakup, etc., and just testing the waters or "throwing crumbs" as it's called in dating lingo, to see if you'll bite. If she already rejected you, months ago, what makes you think she suddenly realized you're the greatest man to date and how could she have been so stupid? Odds are likely 3,000,000 - 1. You said yourself she was making excuses about being in a relationship.

To play her a bit, communicate but don't be over eager and DON'T ask her out...yet. Let this go for a few weeks. If she's interested in going out, she'll drop easy hints and then you can meet her and keep it very casual. Almost guaranteed even if she did drop hints and you went out with her you'll get iced, ghosted, or dumped again as you'll likely only be a place holder for her. I've seen this 100s of times on SS and IRL and it's happened to me too before my DJ days.

Best to buy a new tube of toothpaste than try to put the old stuff back in the tube.

Good luck.

True Forced Loneliness prophet "Roller" Steve Hoca has termed it "dating limbo". I couldn't find one of Steve's videos, but here's one (sounds like Roosh here!) about it:

I would gently test her interest by offering to hang out, and if sex happens, it's all good. If she is "busy" then put her back to square 1 and let her work her way back up.

 

[nismo-4]

@BackInTheGame78 you would give unlimited chances to a girl that keeps coming back?

@Dam44 I'm more of a one strike man myself, so if a girl rejects then comes back like in your scenario I would just have playful banter. If she asks questions I'll ask some back, but otherwise assume nothing.

The only exception is if she lays rose petals at my feet for weeks, similar to what @Dash Riprock stated. If she's constantly positive, making sexual jokes, and dropping obvious hints that she wants to get together, then I'll invite her to something I'm going to do with or without her.

Women are simple, if they want to get with you they'll make a bs excuse to see you or tag along with whatever you're doing.

My approach probably leaves some pus$y on the table, but it also saves me precious time on attention wh0res, flakes, and lower interest girls.

When you get good at gauging you can slice these pretty well.

Your approach leaves attention wh0res and time wasters on the table. Which is great.

One rejection means you're out, but if you call me back, you better come by with a pepperoni pizza and suck my dik in my car before we continue. And we won't go out while I spend money until you've swallowed my kum.

Mode one folks.