Ego: Is it good or is it bad

[mrgoodstuff]

They don't but usually they will if you are deserving of it.

Know your worth but also be honest in your assessment. Far too many people believe they are great when they are likely average due to their unwillingness to be honest with themselves.

Most are average so it's nothing to be angry about. People don't have to give you what you think you deserve or else how would men get "used"?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

(Which I say tongue in cheek to acknowledge my age & gender and because I have an ego but strive not to be overrun by it...that and my general IDGAF approach to much of life)...

Carl G. Jung has a spot on famous quote about the matter of ego that I find sublime. Here it is:

“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego...the second half is going inward and letting go of it...”

Carl Jung

I strongly subscribe to that way of being in the world. First establish the sense of self...then sublimate it toward greater meaning & purpose.

Cheers

 

[metalwater]

the first step is; be aware of our own ego. quietly watch it and see what it does. understand it, like a third person watching. the rest will come. don't make any judgment, just observe and see.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@BeExcellent
That's an elegant way of putting things, I like it.

It's interesting that no one brought up the idea of agreeing on a definition of ego.

To keep it simple I'll say ego is your sense of self respect. If you have a big ego it doesn't mean you have a fragile ego, but psychologists will say it attributes to narcissism and a sense of superiority.

I'd argue that if the person can justify and prove their superiority to you then they quite literally are superior(as it relates to the task at hand).

A big ego can also attribute to pioneering anything. It's one very small part of what makes a person. A big ego person could be extravagant, kind, wealthy in mind, grounded, fearless, and giving in nature. A big ego person could also be crotchety, sour, resentful, sadistic, fearful, and toxic. My point is a big ego could play into a myriad of personalities.

Therefore it's neither good or bad. Good and bad are entirely subjective concepts anyway. We can't possibly ever know objective good unless god himself tells us. Maybe the universe is god, and maybe the language he's speaking is our experience of reality, but one thing is clear, that we don't have the mental capacity to understand it completely.

Personally I like to gauge my feelings for validation as a barometer of my ego. If I sense myself hungering for social approval I'll instead recede inward to remind myself that my own approval is most important, and that no one else's can ever satisfy that hunger more. This helps to go about life in an outward focused state of mind. It allows effortless conviction and my creativity flows easily.

At it's core it's really an exercise in self love.

I'm typically completely indifferent to praise and usually detest apologies. The reason for my repulsion is that I sense most apologies are for the person saying them, and not for me. People's selfish acts asking for my help in forgiving themselves. This is the main reason I stopped apologizing myself, I noticed I was cheating myself out of a lesson. The best apology is to empathize, correct my behavior, and come from a better place moving forward with that person.

It's funny but everyone in this thread has a particular big ego personality in mind when they write about it, and all the observations are valid.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree with @stringpuller about the books. I find The Power of Now to be powerful indeed. I concur with the lessons it teaches and I have given it as a spontaneous gift to several people along the way, including the 3 yr BF I broke off with over the summer.

The salient thing I found in that book was involving fear and the shadow work one must do within oneself. In letting go of what has come before...and in what will come after and existing without judgement right here, right now.

It is ultimate freedom. The irony is that people who can evolve to such a place are scary to others who are not so evolved.

Moreover as a female this is exquisitely threatening to men (if they are not similarly self aware-and most men aren’t in my experience)...So it creates a place where it can be difficult to find a kindred spirit. Difficult to exist without external judgement. For there is external validation and external judgement.

The greatest freedom is to be free from both, as @EyeOnThePrize suggests. But to do so puts an individual on a different plane from most people...this is threatening to many people, who, like crabs in a bucket seek to pull such an individual back into the container...

Agree also that ego is neutral. As is the subconscious mind. Both conform to the habituation that is given to them...however authentic or inauthentic the messaging may be. I strive for authenticity and congruence. And I seek others who strive similarly.

Recently I was asked by a lover “Why do you want me to love you so badly?” This seemed a strange question to me. He was asking because he thought I was giving to him in order to receive love from him...he was wrong.

My response? “I don’t NEED you to love me. That’s MY job. I give to you from generosity of spirit; from desire to do so; from strength. I give to you according to your need, not mine.”

Suddenly he began to weep. “It is hard for me to accept...” he said. My response? “Love yourself first. Love yourself more and you can accept more love from another”...

I have accepted that these are the men I choose generally. But I continue to grow and evolve as well, and the options the universe places before me are adjusting into healthier territory as I evolve.

But one must always be brutally willing to look inside at one’s own pathos. That requires a certain courage, and produces a certain strength that nobody can take away.

 

[logicallefty]

Ego for a man is a good thing, but it should be managed. Being confident and aware of one's own purpose and value without being c0cky or overbearing is key.

 

[Bigpapa]

Ego for a man is a good thing, but it should be managed. Being confident and aware of one's own purpose and value without being c0cky or overbearing is key.

i would say that the ego most people have is a bad one . They think they deserve everything , but in reality they are quite average or bellow it

I would say that a healthy ego is when it pushes you from behind , and bad one when you become resentful and try to demonstrate how superior You are

we should learn more to let go the things that we can not control and try to fix them as much as we can down the road

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just to give a personal example; if I get repped for a particular posting, it's nice to see that it was appreciated.
However, I also know in advance that some of my postings (when I weigh heavy on negative behaviors demonstrated by some old-timers here) well... I know in advance that these are going to get zero repp'ed. Because I'm not dependent on the approval of others here, I say what I think. Some people like it and some people don't.

A person of ego might think.... oh I want to keep my postings to rep numbers looking good and so I'll only post 'popular' things.
For instance; you'll see several members that are unoriginal, and mainly re-hash things that they read in pick up books (attempting to pass this off as their own advice) . They are probably after rep points because it feeds their ego.

I

@BeExcellent
That's an elegant way of putting things, I like it.

It's interesting that no one brought up the idea of agreeing on a definition of ego.

To keep it simple I'll say ego is your sense of self respect. If you have a big ego it doesn't mean you have a fragile ego, but psychologists will say it attributes to narcissism and a sense of superiority.

I'd argue that if the person can justify and prove their superiority to you then they quite literally are superior(as it relates to the task at hand).

A big ego can also attribute to pioneering anything. It's one very small part of what makes a person. A big ego person could be extravagant, kind, wealthy in mind, grounded, fearless, and giving in nature. A big ego person could also be crotchety, sour, resentful, sadistic, fearful, and toxic. My point is a big ego could play into a myriad of personalities.

Therefore it's neither good or bad. Good and bad are entirely subjective concepts anyway. We can't possibly ever know objective good unless god himself tells us. Maybe the universe is god, and maybe the language he's speaking is our experience of reality, but one thing is clear, that we don't have the mental capacity to understand it completely.

Personally I like to gauge my feelings for validation as a barometer of my ego. If I sense myself hungering for social approval I'll instead recede inward to remind myself that my own approval is most important, and that no one else's can ever satisfy that hunger more. This helps to go about life in an outward focused state of mind. It allows effortless conviction and my creativity flows easily.

At it's core it's really an exercise in self love.

I'm typically completely indifferent to praise and usually detest apologies. The reason for my repulsion is that I sense most apologies are for the person saying them, and not for me. People's selfish acts asking for my help in forgiving themselves. This is the main reason I stopped apologizing myself, I noticed I was cheating myself out of a lesson. The best apology is to empathize, correct my behavior, and come from a better place moving forward with that person.

It's funny but everyone in this thread has a particular big ego personality in mind when they write about it, and all the observations are valid.

Trump during his presidency showed how a bloated ego trying to "defend itself" can do and say alot of stupid things. I'm not being political, I don't even like to talk about politics, but i was just saying it's a high level person that's very easy to see how too much or a bad ego can hurt you. Less of an ego would've been in his advantage while he was in that particular position. While people love to bash the man, I did find an incredible motivational speech that he did correctly.

They don't but usually they will if you are deserving of it.

Know your worth but also be honest in your assessment. Far too many people believe they are great when they are likely average due to their unwillingness to be honest with themselves.

"Your worth " you are worthy of being respected. You are worthy of your boundaries. You are worthy of good treatment and even "favor". You are worthy of seeking your sources of mental and physical stimulation.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I took a half ounce of Mushrooms once, this stuff was fire as fuuuck, we had dosed previously and it was stronger than an acid trip we had, we all took 2 stamps back then.

I remember being in my clothes one minute, then the next minute I was buck naked jerkin off like my life depended on it, not even cognizant or aware what I was doing and back then I didn't jerk off much at all, so it was very strange to me, that this behavior was almost what I defaulted to once I had experienced ego death.

Ego suppresses our very brutish nature, you need it, but too much and you become this aloof guy that nobody can take seriously.

A strong man can bare weakness to the men around him, because he is strong, being wrapped in ego is a defense for weakness... It's like a quote from Mike Tyson when reporter asked "Why didn't you go for the finish?" He responds "If he would of gotten up, I would of knocked him down again."

 

[Çharismo]

Based of some of the books that I have read, contemplation and some of the insights I have gleaned...Ego is a human construct to define the aspect of one self. There are many different aspects of the Ego as well but with time a person must strike a balance in attaining a healthy Ego or you will be ruled by it and not be able to subdue it hence the term Ego-dominance. It becomes like an addiction whether it’s attention, money, fame, validation, status...etc. You can have a big ego but as long as you maintain Ego-boundaries and maintain humility you will stay in balance.

As we progress and develop maturity with time our sense of expansiveness and Ego-attachments such as a persons looks, intelligence (which you should never challenge or insult) “my house”, “my car”, “my wife”, “my kids”, “my friends and family” ...etc expand as well. It’s part of the human condition and a natural progression of life and expansion of the Ego.

Another aspect of the Ego are the many different Egoic-belief systems and Ego-investments we develop which could range from religious, political, human nature..etc beliefs and views regarding our own interpretation of reality. With time and new experiences we reevaluate and expand upon those as well.

Now there is a concept of Ego-death which can be attained through my different psychedelics, religious and or mystical experiences which temporarily destroy your sense of existence and bring us into union with a high state of consciousness. It’s fleeting but a powerful experience.

Based of my 35 years on this planet Ego isn’t necessarily good or bad because it depends on the individual, there life experiences, there upbringing, and many other factors that aid in developing the many different aspects of the individuals Ego. But no matter what maintaining humility, careful observation of oneself and staying grounded in reality keeps it in check.

Stay humble my friends!!!

 

[Lordeterra]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

It's a good thing. Ego is what allows you to assert yourself in this world and make your presence known which we all know women love status so it helps with that. My girl always says I'm so ****y, arrogant, and have no feelings. Yet she still begs for my d1ck everyday of the week and does what I want her to while she shows me texts of sappy dudes fawning for her as she throws up. Funny how that works.

 

[King Lion]

Based of some of the books that I have read, contemplation and some of the insights I have gleaned...Ego is a human construct to define the aspect of one self. There are many different aspects of the Ego as well but with time a person must strike a balance in attaining a healthy Ego or you will be ruled by it and not be able to subdue it hence the term Ego-dominance. It becomes like an addiction whether it’s attention, money, fame, validation, status...etc. You can have a big ego but as long as you maintain Ego-boundaries and maintain humility you will stay in balance.

As we progress and develop maturity with time our sense of expansiveness and Ego-attachments such as a persons looks, intelligence (which you should never challenge or insult) “my house”, “my car”, “my wife”, “my kids”, “my friends and family” ...etc expand as well. It’s part of the human condition and a natural progression of life and expansion of the Ego.

Another aspect of the Ego are the many different Egoic-belief systems and Ego-investments we develop which could range from religious, political, human nature..etc beliefs and views regarding our own interpretation of reality. With time and new experiences we reevaluate and expand upon those as well.

Now there is a concept of Ego-death which can be attained through my different psychedelics, religious and or mystical experiences which temporarily destroy your sense of existence and bring us into union with a high state of consciousness. It’s fleeting but a powerful experience.

Based of my 35 years on this planet Ego isn’t necessarily good or bad because it depends on the individual, there life experiences, there upbringing, and many other factors that aid in developing the many different aspects of the individuals Ego. But no matter what maintaining humility, careful observation of oneself and staying grounded in reality keeps it in check.

Stay humble my friends!!!

Brilliant!

To Have More Desire Less.

The flames you stoke to reach your dreams are the exact fires you need to quench.

 

[Çharismo]

Brilliant!

To Have More Desire Less.

The flames you stoke to reach your dreams are the exact fires you need to quench.

Thank you for the compliment!! (Ego inflates)

 

[Kotaix]

The ego is the mind's identity. The problem is that it is by no means an accurate representation of reality because most people think compulsively and create mental scenarios based on fantasy, on which they then base reality, like simps and beta orbiters.

The ego is the part of you that craves external approval. Its the part that cares about notch count and personal wealth. But the ego can never satisfied, if it ever gets what it wanted, it will immediately want something else. Rich people and guys with high notch count are not any happier because of their success.

Paying less attention to your ego changes your perspective on life in a good way, and it's very liberating.