It happens to all of us.......

[Glassguy]

I think it is worthy to share dating stories when things go as planned, but I also think it is equally beneficial to share stories when things dont go as planned.

First date last night with a new chick. 4'11", very attractive, 11 years younger than I am and seemed to have a great personality. Lots of fun. Recently divorced a few months ago.
Picked her up at her house, drove 45 minutes or so to grab a few drinks and look at a Christmas light exhibit. Conversation on the way was good. Natural flowing, she did most of the talking. Made several references about how I look 30 yrs old and not 43. She was using light keno most of the way there.

Get to the sports bar and have a few drinks, grab an appetizer and then walk over to check out a very nice Christmas light display. Walk around for 20 minutes or so and then she started holding my hand. Not long after we were making out.
Back to the truck, head home and again good conversation. Get to her place and she invites me in. More making out with her getting very handsy, moaning, grinding up on me and then she pulls back to go grab us a drink. No problem. A few minutes later we are making out again, she pulls back. At this point I am going to call it a night. She tells me what a good time she had, blah blah and I go home.

She did tell me in a round about way that her now ex husband is NOT happy about their divorce, causes problems, made a big deal out of something recently on her fb, etc. That was the only red flag I really saw last night, and I have a good eye for noticing them.

She texts me a bit ago and tells me that she is feeling surprisingly good after drinking with me last night. I respond with "I had a good time. I'd like to see you again, let me know when you can get free.

Then I get: "I had a great time but I realize that I am not ready to date. I'm sorry. I just dont want to waste your time".

My response: "No problem. I am not looking for anything super serious but not opposed to something later down the road, but I would have liked to hang out with you again. If you change your mind, let me know. Take care".

Most of the time my success rate is through the roof after a date. I do not second guess what I said or did on any date, sometimes women are just fickle.

Point being this- situations like this are part of the dating process. If I had to bet on whether or not I would hang out with this chick again after last night, I would have bet it all on doing so. But we never really know what is going on in their heads. And thats ok.....we take our shot and whatever happens, happens. Then we move on.

Maybe she reaches out, maybe she doesnt. I have other plates on the table so its fine either way.

What you dont want to do in this situation is start needy texting, negotiating or acting butthurt. Just throw the open invitation out there and move on. Remain chill and calm. She has my number, she can choose to reach out or I am dust in the wind.

Happy Hunting

 

[Robert28]

I had a similar rejection and it was almost word for word what hers was. Her ex called her up and the next day she dropped that bomb on me “not ready to date, sorry I wasted your time”. Except we’d been dating for 2 1/2 months and she was demanding I commit but I knew better because I knew she wasn’t over her ex. Turns out I was right because she dropped me for him first chance she got.lol Just weird how similar the canned line was that your date used. It’s like they use the same lines depending on the situation.

 

[Lookatu]

Then I get: "I had a great time but I realize that I am not ready to date. I'm sorry. I just dont want to waste your time".

I do not second guess what I said or did on any date, sometimes women are just fickle.

Point being this- situations like this are part of the dating process. If I had to bet on whether or not I would hang out with this chick again after last night, I would have bet it all on doing so. But we never really know what is going on in their heads. And thats ok.....we take our shot and whatever happens, happens. Then we move on.

What you dont want to do in this situation is start needy texting, negotiating or acting butthurt.

Dude, I had the same thing a few times with almost the exact same response from recently divorcees before too. It must be some standardized line they get from Cosmopolitan. LOL

Thought I'd bold out the Cliff Notes version for the lazy mofo's on this forum.

 

[Glassguy]

Dude, I had the same thing a few times with almost the exact same response from recently divorcees before too. It must be some standardized line they get from Cosmopolitan. LOL

Thought I'd bold out the Cliff Notes version for the lazy mofo's on this forum.

Did any of them every reach back out or did they just disappear?
Its funny because this chick was telling me horror stories about her ex at one point. I didnt realize she was so recently divorced when I invited her out.

If she reaches out, it will be invitation to come hang out at my place only. Smash and dash. If she doesnt, oh well.

I havent dated too many recently divorced women. I tend to stay away from them because even a few months later they are an emotional fvcking mess.

 

[Robert28]

Did any of them every reach back out or did they just disappear?
Its funny because this chick was telling me horror stories about her ex at one point. I didnt realize she was so recently divorced when I invited her out.

If she reaches out, it will be invitation to come hang out at my place only. Smash and dash. If she doesnt, oh well.

I havent dated too many recently divorced women. I tend to stay away from them because even a few months later they are an emotional fvcking mess.

If they’re telling you horror stories about an ex it means they’re still hung up on them. If they don’t even talk about their ex it means they’re over them completely. I learned that a long time ago.

 

[Lookatu]

Did any of them every reach back out or did they just disappear?

Not in my experience. They just disappeared. Your description is exactly what I encountered a few times.

My guess is they are recently divorced and just getting their feet wet and getting back out into the world. They use this line to gently let down the guy. They often don't know what they're looking for but they are picky or dillusional and want to see everything that is out there.

Based on my experiences, I personally would try for a first date bang with any newly divorced girls now a days because they don't know what they want except they know they want to meet as many guys as possible.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Just her mind doing mental gymnastics, most guys at this point would start chasing harder but you also pulled back.

She might come around at some point in thr future who knows

 

[Tilex]

If they’re telling you horror stories about an ex it means they’re still hung up on them. If they don’t even talk about their ex it means they’re over them completely. I learned that a long time ago.

Interesting
I can't wrap my mind around this strange psychology.
How did you discover this?

I'm trying to decode this formula in my head and it's perplexed me.
It's absurdly irrational.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Excellent post.

I'm no stranger to encountering the above circumstance. Heck, nobody is.

I'd go as far as to say... that your response was better than anything I've come up with. I hope that I don't have to use it anytime soon, but I'm stealing it.

Thanks.

 

[Mazer]

She wanted to get her mind off her ex so she went out on a date with you. These women go on 1-2 dates, make out with you, some might even suck your cawk. They know on the next date you will be expecting sex because you guys got “hot and heavy” on the last date. That’s when they jump ship. They repeat this cycle over and over with new guys. I have had a very small percentage reach out to me.
Also, when a woman mentions anything about an ex on the first date, it’s an uphill battle from my experience.

 

[Romanemp22]

Sh1t happens. Whenever something like this happens I never gave it two thoughts about it because the moments she say she don't feel like she wants to date I'm already on the next one.

 

[bat soup]

Then I get: "I had a great time but I realize that I am not ready to date. I'm sorry. I just dont want to waste your time".

Translation: she's busy sucking another guy's koch.

 

[bcude]

Interesting
I can't wrap my mind around this strange psychology.
How did you discover this?

I'm trying to decode this formula in my head and it's perplexed me.
It's absurdly irrational.

It's fairly straight forward. Opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Talking about an ex, in any way or form means he's taking up space in her head, which isn't indifference. There are no reasons to volontarily tell stories about an ex to a new date if you've moved on and i believe this is common sense for both genders.
Recently divorced it's no wonder, hungry for validation and an emotional mess.

 

[OldComeBacker]

Yep, women are fickle. And sometimes you can do everything right and not "win." part of life that is very difficult for a lot of us to understand sometimes.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yep, women are fickle. And sometimes you can do everything right and not "win." part of life that is very difficult for a lot of us to understand sometimes.

Most of em can still be fvcked in the right circumstances

 

[BadBoy89]

If a girl said: "I had a great time but I realize that I am not ready to date. I'm sorry. I just don't want to waste your time" to me, I don't think I'd even reply.

Maybe a "Well, don't forget to write."

You are very patient. I don't have 5% of the patience you have.

 

[Young OG]

Did any of them every reach back out or did they just disappear

I know this question wasn't intended for me but I've noticed that they only usually reach back out if you have banged them. I usually say something similar to what you said to her. But, they never reached back out again unless we banged at least once. They key is to not act butt hurt and burn bridges, which you already know.

 

[Glassguy]

I know this question wasn't intended for me but I've noticed that they only usually reach back out if you have banged them. I usually say something similar to what you said to her. But, they never reached back out again unless we banged at least once. They key is to not act butt hurt and burn bridges, which you already know.

Once a chick starts acting weird I bounce. If she reaches back out later down the road it will be fvck buddy or nothing. Her chance of "dates" with Glassguy passed her by.

 

[Robert28]

Interesting
I can't wrap my mind around this strange psychology.
How did you discover this?

I'm trying to decode this formula in my head and it's perplexed me.
It's absurdly irrational.

Because anytime a girl talks mad sh!t about her ex you can bet she’s still all sorts of hung up on him. Take the last girl I was dating for 2 1/2 months. All she ever talked about was how he was younger than her by 4 years, how he was 29 and lived at home, how he didn’t make but $27,000 a year, how he had no ambition to better himself, how they always fought, how he moved in with her after a month after they started dating, how he drank all the time, how he didn’t have his life together. And yet she ran back to him as soon as he called.lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Because anytime a girl talks mad sh!t about her ex you can bet she’s still all sorts of hung up on him. Take the last girl I was dating for 2 1/2 months. All she ever talked about was how he was younger than her by 4 years, how he was 29 and lived at home, how he didn’t make but $27,000 a year, how he had no ambition to better himself, how they always fought, how he moved in with her after a month after they started dating, how he drank all the time, how he didn’t have his life together. And yet she ran back to him as soon as he called.lol

I guess he must have been a champ in the bedroom.