Crippling low self-esteem

[christie]

Funny enough, my buddy and I were talking about that topic this evening, i.e. how (in real life including work) there are people that try to put others on an emotional rollercoaster.

While it no doubt happens to me, I never paid much notice to the pattern because I personally don't think that way. I have no interest in "messing with" people. But others do it; so it's absolutely a reason to be more say stoic and have a solid "frame."

It's not even about the old, "Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they got to you." That's beside the point. It's more to protect YOURSELF.

Yes, its a great idea to protect yourself. Its a funny coincidence when you find you were just talking about something off the forum that you read about here.

I think the upcoming holiday season mixed with that covid fatigue people seem to be experiencing, has driven some to try to push buttons in others.

To distract themselves?

It can affect ones self esteem if not careful to recognise.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Try to make a long story short

Never been good in social settings, tend to close up with girls I really like, tend to feel like I'm the most creepy and ugly guy out there.

Met a girl at work last year, was only able to have good conversations with her via text, and it went amazingly well, unfortunately (not going to go in detail) never worked out and I blew it a couple of months ago. We barely text now but at work we act kinda normal. But the fact we barely text now and she became quite unresponsive, just adds up to lowering my low self-esteem. Especially cause it wasn't like that before just shows something in my behaviour is not right. (disregarding the fact to never get involved with anyone at work, I just say it here as an example why I feel like the most worthless being on earth right now).

Before covid hit, I had a great physique, yet it never had gotten me any girlfriends nor any lays. Another thing adding to my low self-esteem. Something is really wrong with me, I just can't figure it out and I feel like it's just a downward spiral. I want to get out of this, yet my thoughts and behaviour is putting me in the wrong direction. If I try to act like who I want to be, I just feel like I come across as weird, and this (you guessed it) adds again to my low self-esteem.

Monogamy is cucked. Overrated.

Read I can make you confident by Paul McKenna. Do the activities. Do the exercises. It's no fix but a start. Couple the exercises with lifting, diet, and approach. Moreover, get on your purpose. Acknowledge you are a mortal and likely must make a decision to change. The first step is to acknowledge the issue. The next step is to take action.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks for all the advice. Try to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones these days, but some just keep on coming back and can still make me feel depressed and feeling like "I'll never become who I really want to be, so why just try".

Can you guys vouch for the fact that "as you think, you shall become"? It's a bit astonishing that with all the negative thinking I did, all those negative situations really did come true, probably cause I subliminally put myself in that direction. Like I said, I try to think positive now, but I don't "feel" it yet. It's way more easier and in a strange more emotionally satisfying (hard to explain, but I guess some know what I'm talking about) to think negative, probably cause I've been doing it for such a long time.

But I can try to keep doing it, I just have this feeling that I need to know that it will work in the end and will not put me in a worse place if I would finally realise that it's not working.

In the McKenna hypnosis, you step into the person you deem as confident. You view the world from the perspective of said person. As a result, you begin to adopt your new persona. The problem similar to pickup, it's got a timeline before falling back. Key is reps.

It won't. In the end we die. At best we take a few pics. We have some good times. We took up the hero's journey.

You can't make yourself taller or several deviations better looking facially or hunger horn. You just get indifferent and you proceed regardless. Own it.

You like me and the rest of the DJs will take L's. Take it on the chin. Get up. Repeat.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Can you guys vouch for the fact that "as you think, you shall become"? It's a bit astonishing that with all the negative thinking I did, all those negative situations really did come true, probably cause I subliminally put myself in that direction.

I can, yes. Read the book “Psycho Cybernetics”. It explains how you can reprogram your brain, beliefs, and thoughts very easily. It also explains the mechanisms behind it that make it work. The mechanisms are theory, but the results are very real - at least they were for me and countless others who have read the book. It truly works.

 

[BadBoy89]

I think men who have problems with women don’t put themselves under any pressure in life. If they have an OK job, OK friends, OK apartment, OK looks, they are happy.

Men have to put themselves under PRESSURE. Once they do this, they will find out these girls don’t mean anything, Media has brainwashed men to think they do, but they don‘t. And if one girl says no, you go find another younger hotter one. No need to stick with one. Just keep rotating, younger, younger, younger.

I have some rental properties. A month ago I was thinking about this one girl I took out but it didn’t go anywhere. The same day I was thinking about her I get letter from the management company. Paraphrasing: “Building needs major renovations, upto $15.3M. We need at least $150,000 cash from each owner in the next 2 months or you lose your huge investment.“ THAT kind of woke me up.

So men, remember: YOU matter. Your Mental and Physical Health matters. What VALUE you can bring to society matters.

These girls do not matter,

 

[mrgoodstuff]

taking action has consequences

What we don't remember always is that the positive consequences outweigh the bad.

It is a thrilling risk to take action.

I'm experimenting with the 'responding, not reacting emotionally' type of skill sosuavers teach here on this forum. It gives you more energy to only respond and not react.
People try to play a game with your emotions-giving you the emotional rollercoaster like they do with people in their private lives.
Its important I recognise other people's games or else I'd never take action.....I'd be too weary and worn out.

High esteem is gained with retention of high energy. You can retain high energy by practicing 'when you do more, you will be able to do more'
Just take action.

Low esteem is when there's inactivity for some reason. When you do less, it seems you keep doing less and less.

Complaining is taking action which will ensu

I can, yes. Read the book “Psycho Cybernetics”. It explains how you can reprogram your brain, beliefs, and thoughts very easily. It also explains the mechanisms behind it that make it work. The mechanisms are theory, but the results are very real - at least they were for me and countless others who have read the book. It truly works.

It explains how we are conditioned, programmed, brainwashed from influences around us and how to take control of the programming.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Complaining is taking action which will ensu

It explains how we are conditioned, programmed, brainwashed from influences around us and how to take control of the programming.

Complaining is taking action that will ensure failure

 

[christie]

Complaining is taking action that will ensure failure

yes, more action is needed to get on the rode to success. Just start moving. Stay busy.

 

[christie]

yes, more action is needed to get on the rode to success. Just start moving. Stay busy.

*road