Just a quick rant/debrief

[SpartanWarrior77]

I'm still having trouble not taking things personally sometimes. I've been in the game for years but I think I'm one of those guys that "knows more than he actually applies". I've known about ONEitis for years but have been having severe bouts of ONEitis recently missing my ex (going through a period of loneliness right now). Anyways, this chick I daygamed the other day looks like she's about to flake. She takes like 1-2 days on average to get back to me and we were supposed to have a date tonight but she still hasn't got back to my message from Monday (where I confirmed location). When I dwell on these things, they just piss me off and turn me off. It makes me think that she deliberately being disrespectful. It makes me just want to flake on her. Sometimes I feel like girls play games (taking long to respond, etc) because they think that it increases their desirability but I'm at a point where to me, it just turns me off. I like girls that like me. If she disrespects me, it literally kind of kills my desire/boner. Now I feel like flaking on her. I'm tempted to just not respond at all even if she hits me back today bc I hate confirming dates the day of. Isn't that disrespectful? If you're going to confirm a time, you should do it the night prior. To me, it seems like she doesn't respect my time. I'm trying to take it less personally but like I said this was a rant.

 

[Stoic]

1 to 2 days to reply?

Come on..you know it's only low or medium interest.

You say you know more than you're putting in application. Hunt or attract girls with more interest. They are a hell of a lot more fun to be around

"To know and not to do is really not to know"
Stephen Covey

 

[bat soup]

I'm still having trouble not taking things personally sometimes. I've been in the game for years but I think I'm one of those guys that "knows more than he actually applies". I've known about ONEitis for years but have been having severe bouts of ONEitis recently missing my ex (going through a period of loneliness right now). Anyways, this chick I daygamed the other day looks like she's about to flake. She takes like 1-2 days on average to get back to me and we were supposed to have a date tonight but she still hasn't got back to my message from Monday (where I confirmed location). When I dwell on these things, they just piss me off and turn me off. It makes me think that she deliberately being disrespectful. It makes me just want to flake on her. Sometimes I feel like girls play games (taking long to respond, etc) because they think that it increases their desirability but I'm at a point where to me, it just turns me off. I like girls that like me. If she disrespects me, it literally kind of kills my desire/boner. Now I feel like flaking on her. I'm tempted to just not respond at all even if she hits me back today bc I hate confirming dates the day of. Isn't that disrespectful? If you're going to confirm a time, you should do it the night prior. To me, it seems like she doesn't respect my time. I'm trying to take it less personally but like I said this was a rant.

Because you have game you know what those signs mean, whereas a naive guy would be excited and taken by surprise when she flakes. It's still annoying though, of course.

Somehow you have to train yourself not to care so much.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

It pisses you off because deep down you realize you deserve better, or because you have little else going on. I usually plan things at least a week out. If a chick is taking over a day to respond or I sense disinterest I'll make other plans and tell her as much with a tease. "hey I've made other plans, you snooze you lose "

If there's no counter offer then I made the right choice. Bullet dodged, time saved.

And your oneitis is just feedback telling you to find better hobbies and pursue your passions more strongly.

 

[bat soup]

It pisses you off because deep down you realize you deserve better, or because you have little else going on. I usually plan things at least a week out. If a chick is taking over a day to respond or I sense disinterest I'll make other plans and tell her as much with a tease. "hey I've made other plans, you snooze you lose "

If there's no counter offer then I made the right choice. Bullet dodged, time saved.

And your oneitis is just feedback telling you to find better hobbies and pursue your passions more strongly.

More than a few hours without a reply you should be making other plans and adding "Bullshiiiter" to her name in your address book.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

More than a few hours without a reply you should be making other plans and adding "Bullshiiiter" to her name in your address book.

Naw I've fuucked plenty that are busy dimes with attitude. Believe it or not they're usually the ones looking to tie me down. If I sense that it's through subversion I obviously don't allow it.

If I text in the morning I expect a reply by EOD. If I text closer to the evening I'll give her 24 hours. It's a personal rule and has served me well. I expect the same courtesy.

If I'm enjoying the conversation I'll break the rule and we might both take days to respond. That puts her in the platonic category in my mind though. I'll respond as long as I'm having fun.

The way you write about it makes it sound like you're seeking something to take.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

So instead of waiting around for her to get back to me; at around 10AM I messaged her saying "Hey, I usually like to make my schedule the night before and don't like to confirm meet-ups the same day so tonight is a no go." She ended up messaging me 3 hours before the date was supposed to be saying:

"Hey, I'm sorry for being inconsistent. I don't check Instagram very often. I should have given you my number! Let me know if you're available this weekend. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx"

I just left her on "read".

My old beta self would have probably jumped at the opportunity to quickly forgive her and make it sound like ALL is good. I would have probably said "Oh no worries haha, yeah let's do this weekend". But now, I feel like a better move would be to just ignore her for a couple of days and eventually message her in order to set up another date.

I have a very strong sense that she was just bull****ting me about not checking her Instagram that often. If I was high-value enough in her mind, it wouldn't matter if the only point of contact for me was an old email she never used, she'd find a way to get back to me and at least confirm our date. But to only check in 2-3 hours prior meanwhile the location wasn't even confirmed is just plain BS or a sign of low/mid interest.

However, the fact that she apologized and pushed for another meet up shows that the spark is still somewhat there. Additionally, she may have gained even more interest in me due to my early cancellation. She may have not been expecting that.

Either way, I met this chick through daygame and we only had a 3-4 minute interaction. Other than that, she had access to my Instagram which has a few nice pics but very few followers. The point is that daygame is very low ROI unless you really do A LOT of approaches. It's tough to establish a solid connection and spark very high interest from 3-4 minutes unless you're really ****ing good.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

So instead of waiting around for her to get back to me; at around 10AM I messaged her saying "Hey, I usually like to make my schedule the night before and don't like to confirm meet-ups the same day so tonight is a no go." She ended up messaging me 3 hours before the date was supposed to be saying:

"Hey, I'm sorry for being inconsistent. I don't check Instagram very often. I should have given you my number! Let me know if you're available this weekend. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx"

I just left her on "read".

My old beta self would have probably jumped at the opportunity to quickly forgive her and make it sound like ALL is good. I would have probably said "Oh no worries haha, yeah let's do this weekend". But now, I feel like a better move would be to just ignore her for a couple of days and eventually message her in order to set up another date.

I have a very strong sense that she was just bull****ting me about not checking her Instagram that often. If I was high-value enough in her mind, it wouldn't matter if the only point of contact for me was an old email she never used, she'd find a way to get back to me and at least confirm our date. But to only check in 2-3 hours prior meanwhile the location wasn't even confirmed is just plain BS or a sign of low/mid interest.

However, the fact that she apologized and pushed for another meet up shows that the spark is still somewhat there. Additionally, she may have gained even more interest in me due to my early cancellation. She may have not been expecting that.

Either way, I met this chick through daygame and we only had a 3-4 minute interaction. Other than that, she had access to my Instagram which has a few nice pics but very few followers. The point is that daygame is very low ROI unless you really do A LOT of approaches. It's tough to establish a solid connection and spark very high interest from 3-4 minutes unless you're really ****ing good.

It seems you're expecting a lot of interest right away. While that's easiest, it's not going to happen every time. All you can really do is be around each other for longer to see if you each like what you learn about the other.

She may be doing a soft dismissal or she may be super manipulative and filtering for a chump or maybe she's being honest. I would have cancelled 3 or 4 days out saying I've made other plans.

If I received a response like yours I'd just call her up and tease her, not even pitch a date. Before hanging up I'd say where I'm going to be on a particular date and time, and that she's welcome to join me, then say bye. If she doesn't pick up I'd leave a message saying the same. No flirty 'well are you gonna come?' , no romance, just teasing light hearted fun.

This way there's no pressure on her to respond or even show up, and my plans won't change whether she comes or not. Unless of course she shows up and seduces me. This is the essence of IDGAF.

It doesn't sound like you're in that headspace so I wouldn't advise the above. Sounds like you need to do some self assurance/self love tasks so that dating can be fun again. Nothing a chick says or doesn't say should piss you off.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

You sound super frustrated, get some self development going, hit the gym if you are feeling this way, helps to fill your time.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I actually ended up messaging her this morning saying "Hey are u available Friday at 7PM same time/place or next week Tue or Thursday same thing". I didn't mention anything about her behavior like "no worries, etc." I also reached out to 3 other girls for this weekend possibly. I also have another chick that's probably going to come around New Years from FL just to see me, this girl has a very HIGH level of interest. It's not like I'm in total scarcity. But yeah, I'm going through a tough period and it's tempting to fixate on a woman's behavior and blame that for my negative state but at the same time I am human and I don't think that frustration is ever going to go away fully which is why I just leave my phone at home from work sometimes. I don't like checking and seeing things that frustrate me so I just don't take it. Simple as that.