How to know if a woman wants to chase you or not interested in you ?

[One_Punch_Man]

Hi,
Met a girl online. she's been hot and cold. Want to know what should be the general rule to treat such things. Sometimes wont pick my phone and other times would be very romantic. Sometimes wont reply to my messages but would be apologetic afterwards for not replying. And when texting the reply was prompt except for one or two cases. Last time we had a romantic talk the whole night but later that night she said she need some more time to move it forward. Next day she neither picked my phone nor replied to my message. A day later i replied to her status by thumbs up emoji to which she also replied. This happened 5 days ago. From that day onwards there has been no initiation from my side. So how to gauge her interest level and know whether she wants to be chased or just **** testing me or anything else. Further does this apply to all women of all regions of the world. For e.g in some conservative countries women initiate less for various reasons. Plz give your suggestions.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She's just not that into you. Don't dwell. Just move along.

 

[One_Punch_Man]

She's just not that into you. Don't dwell. Just move along.

Ok but is it possible that she might be little hesitant due to cultural influences

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Hi,
Met a girl online. she's been hot and cold. Want to know what should be the general rule to treat such things. Sometimes wont pick my phone and other times would be very romantic. Sometimes wont reply to my messages but would be apologetic afterwards for not replying. And when texting the reply was prompt except for one or two cases. Last time we had a romantic talk the whole night but later that night she said she need some more time to move it forward. Next day she neither picked my phone nor replied to my message. A day later i replied to her status by thumbs up emoji to which she also replied. This happened 5 days ago. From that day onwards there has been no initiation from my side. So how to gauge her interest level and know whether she wants to be chased or just **** testing me or anything else. Further does this apply to all women of all regions of the world. For e.g in some conservative countries women initiate less for various reasons. Plz give your suggestions.

She's probably talking to multiple guys, name of the game. How many girls are you talking to? Sounds like just this one. You got any hobbies or passions you're all about? Those should be your first love so you don't obsess over chicks that aren't showing interest.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard

Did you notice your anxious level when she was hot/cold and unpredictable?
the above isn't a put-down - we've all been there.

Next time, turn those tables on the gal.

Although I don't know the dynamics between you two, I think that concluding that her actions were a result that she wasn't into you is possibly premature. Sometimes women take a little time to warm up. If you overwhelm them (especially too soon) with your company, then you take away their excitement and the mystery. Also, being always available (initiating texts, being the one that doesn't say good-bye first on the phone, texting immediately back etc... ) will deflate any interest that you may have given her.

Once the damage has been done, it's not always easy to back-track. Personally, I'd look elsewhere, but I know that's what you want or are going to do. Right? Again, the odds are now against, you.

Only respond to her if she reaches out first and you *wait* and do not text anything longer than she has texted. Also, since you two are on social media, it would help if you posted a new photo of you with some cute girl. Any description should be vague and ambiguous. You don't want to overdo it, but something like "having fun over at ____ (fill in the blank with a location).

 

[spikeanut]

I can tell by your story, of you being completely available to her for her beck and call, for long phone conversations and txts....you have not smashed yet. She is getting all kinds of validation from you. There is never any need to talk on the phone for any extended period of time with a woman who you have not 1) slept with (still hesitant on phone calls for this) or 2) in an LTR with. I can tell you are neither with this girl. Stop giving her attention. Respond to her texts the next day. Do not pick up her phone calls and just respond with a txt a couple hours later with , "was busy, what's up?" Chances are, you are already friendzoned, so even my advice may not help. But it's definitely better than the route you were taking. Also, I will add...she is definitely not that into you -- right now.

 

[bat soup]

Met a girl online. she's been hot and cold.

She's not interested.

Why?
Because when girls have genuine interest it's consistent and they treat you with respect because they don't want to lose you.

 

[One_Punch_Man]

Welcome aboard

Did you notice your anxious level when she was hot/cold and unpredictable?
the above isn't a put-down - we've all been there.

Next time, turn those tables on the gal.

Although I don't know the dynamics between you two, I think that concluding that her actions were a result that she wasn't into you is possibly premature. Sometimes women take a little time to warm up. If you overwhelm them (especially too soon) with your company, then you take away their excitement and the mystery. Also, being always available (initiating texts, being the one that doesn't say good-bye first on the phone, texting immediately back etc... ) will deflate any interest that you may have given her.

Once the damage has been done, it's not always easy to back-track. Personally, I'd look elsewhere, but I know that's what you want or are going to do. Right? Again, the odds are now against, you.

Only respond to her if she reaches out first and you *wait* and do not text anything longer than she has texted. Also, since you two are on social media, it would help if you posted a new photo of you with some cute girl. Any description should be vague and ambiguous. You don't want to overdo it, but something like "having fun over at ____ (fill in the blank with a location).

Man, initially i was not interested as i replied vaguely and rarely. She even asked me when i am coming to meet her but i bailed out. I even missed her birthday. She kept on saying you are perfect you have great job but i was never serious. Her initiations of conversation declined and i thought maybe i should show her more interest as contrary to increase in messages the frequency declined. Even last time when i removed profile pic she got nervous and thought i blocked her. I replied to her status and that's how the conversation again started. I am now confused whether i showed her no interest so she pulled back or it is opposite. and i am sure she will try to contact again indirectly by putting status, so what should i do. should i reply her or ignore. Basically i am unable to figure when to pursue and when to pull back.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Easy. Ask her to spend time with you in person. If she accepts and you escalate and she is into it, she is interested and if she makes some excuse about meeting or continuously shuts down your escalation attempts, she isn't interested.

Have you asked her out or met up in person?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Basically i am unable to figure when to pursue and when to pull back.

From reading your response, I'm reminded of "which came first? The chicken or the egg?"

Either you taught her how to keep someone interested or she's teaching you.