WeaponOfWar
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2012
- Messages
- 31
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 30
Hey guys!
This is a long story. Two years ago I got out of a very long and serious relationship. We were living together for two years and she wanted to take things further and I wasn't ready.
Since then I've been avoiding dating to try and focus on myself. Which has been going great, I work at one of the top tech companies out there, getting ready for my first bodybuilding competition, I've travelled more countries than ever.
At this point I don't really have time or desire to date, I've gone on a few and I always get bored as I keep finding people who don't really excite me enough.
I work in the UK, but I go monthly to easter europe, where I'm from.
Last summer I met this girl while visiting home. I'm 26, she's 21. She was hot and we were getting along great. We'd meet outside on a bench and talk for hours. Her body language was dead, I'd sit in the middle and she'd sit in a corner. We met a few times but at one point I cut contact as she would be very flaky about meetings as her time management was bad. I wasn't going to keep wasting my time.
Fyi when we meet she told me she isn't looking to date specifically as she enjoys freedom and meeting people etc.
Two months passed by and Covid hit. Last time we met, I told her if she ever needs help coding to let me know. So one day she texts me if I can help her.
I was very uninterested in her, but I enjoy helping people, especially with this as I tend to teach others in my free time. So I said ok. I'd have video calls with her, she'd try to make more conversation but i was very aloof.
Eventually, I let my guard down and started talking more. We started to really connect, she apologies for how she acted before. In quite a short time we were talking daily. She'd always be quite weird about sex. Very reserved. Although she has had sex before, out of relationships and had a very short relationship, 5 months with a possessive person. At one point she admitted that she likes me. We eventually were on the same page, we both couldn't wait to meet and be intimate and spend time together.
When I finally went back home after the lockdown was done, I couldn't meet right away. We started talking a bit less. Then when we met, we were again outside on the bench, her body language was exactly the same which really messed with my head. When I took her home she ended up staying and looking at me, I am 110% sure she wanted me to kiss her, but I was so weirded out by her cold body language that I just couldn't do it.
I invited her over for movies, we were connecting well and we watched a movie. I sat in the middle of the bed, then she got into a corner and basically wrapped herself like a cocoon with only her head out, very far from me. Again I was very confused, what was going on. She quickly went upstairs, I didn't get a chance to kiss her.
She behaved the same next time. So I asked her, why is she acting like she's afraid of me? She told me she's in a weird period where she's not really looking to date or meet people right now, I'm the only guy she's been talking to from Tinder for so long and she really loves my company. That she's weird and loses interest fast in people etc. and she doesn't know how long this thing will last. She even told me sex would complicate things ( all of a sudden?). Eventually she tells me at this point not to wait for her and that she can only be my friend now. I realise it can't get worse so what the hell. I grab her head to massage it, and tell her to come closer so I can do it properly. I start massaging her back, under her clothes, legs, and eventually i just start grabbing her ass, and inner thighs. I sit on her and start rubbing those areas until I can hear her breathing very heavily, she was getting turned on. She was on her stomach so I couldn't flip her around, I tell her to turn (so i can kiss her) and she tells me she's too comfortable like that. At one point i kiss her on the neck and no reaction. Again tell her to turn to me but she won't. I ask her about the massage, if that's how friends do it and she eventually doesn't know what to say so she pauses and then "what i said still stands".
After that she barely talked to me for a week, even saw her at the gym and she acted odd. She told me nothing is wrong, all conversations would be killed by her. So I decided to drop it. Just went no contact for a week or so.
She eventually texted me and started talking more. I was being distant, I asked her to come to mine. I cooked for us and we played some board games. We went into very deep talk and started having "moments", where she would just stare at me and give me these big smiles, we would flirt and it was all good. Eventually she asked me randomly how tall I am. She then stood up and compared herself to me saying "it's not that bad '' (she's shorter than me). That night she also proposed we do a party where I bring a friend and she brings one. When I took her home, she hugged me, while letting go I stopped and held her, she then looked at me, face turned and started smiling but not turning her head, let herself go a bit back. I smiled as well and let her go as I felt she wasn't ready for it. Her reaction, even though she didn't turn her head, she smiled at me and laughed, but in a cute way. She realised what I wanted to do.
At one point again I made fun of her height and told her that she likes that I'm tall, which she agreed.
She asked me to meet. We went to my place and were just hanging out in the kitchen. I told her let's do that party at my best friend's house. So I ask her what her friends' tastes are in boys and then I ask what she likes as a flirt.. She starts describing her ideal guy which was basically me..except she says "tall but not too tall, I'm a bit over that limit and it's intimidating, that she doesn't want to look like a sister next to a guy”. This made no sense to me as she always said she's really into me being tall, even last time when she compared herself. I told her the guy she is describing is me more or less, and she shrugs as in "not quite", tells me it's due to the height and then not sure if she wanted to say anything more. She then starts joking that she can introduce me to her friend as her friend told her I'm hot at the gym. It seemed like she was making up random flaws for me. Then kept saying during the night find me a guy that fits my description (jokingly). All the flirting I would try to do at that point she would shut down. It was like since the last meeting her attitude changed completely. I asked her as a test if she likes guys with piercings and then tattoos ( as i have them), which she said yes, and then she asked me "why? do you have piercings?". So she was still thinking of me.
We had the party on Friday and her friend couldn't come so she was alone. We start drinking and socialising. It went really well, but her behaviour was quite neutral. At the end we were alone. I kept looking for an opening. We played a few more games and went to smoke in the kitchen where we talked. At one point she did expose her neck (not sure how relevant it is), but was across the table. We ate and then we go to bed, SAME BED, but she just crashes on her stomach on the side. I just pet her head until she falls asleep ( took about 2 min). She spent half of the other day there, but she acted the same, very friendly but always at a distance. I could never see a clear sign to kiss her. She'd sit on her phone at times and ask me what I'm doing as I was stuck a bit in my head thinking wtf is going on. She would show me at times random chicks on instagram and ask me if they are hot, me being an idiot, I say my neighbour(her) is, her reaction is non-existent.
She told me not to worry as we are friends. I tell her that I'm not just meeting with you because we are friends, as I like her and she tells me we already talked about this, I shouldn't wait for her, or "if i want to meet with you and spend time does it mean necessarily that I want something else?". I started confronting her about her mixed signals, at one point she told me I only understand things the way I want to, as she told me she avoids talking about sex and never told me she can't wait, so I told her that's bs and I can simply show her screenshots of those conversations. She tells me "oh i forgot about that. The thing is I have a lot of things to do now and I'd like to focus on that".
At this point I thought maybe she thinks I want something super serious, (I am looking for something more casual as I don’t have time), I live in another country for the next year. So I told her "relax I don't want a relationship right now, I'm the type of person who needs space. I want to keep in contact with you but I won't be acting anymore like just your gay friend." Then she asks me, what are we going to do then as I don't understand. I told her we will find a way and talk about it live. It's clear that she still wants me around.
I've come to care for her after talking for so long. Most of the people I know tell me that I should just kiss her already, but now I really don't expect a good outcome.
Can this be turned around ?
I could either try confronting her and talking to see if she is just worried of me wanting a big commitment, if it’s not that I will tell her I can’t keep acting like just a friend and maybe even kiss her? Or do a Corey Wayne and walk away. We even discussed meeting up again for a party and bringing her friend, which might be good since her friend told her to get with me.
This is a long story. Two years ago I got out of a very long and serious relationship. We were living together for two years and she wanted to take things further and I wasn't ready.
Since then I've been avoiding dating to try and focus on myself. Which has been going great, I work at one of the top tech companies out there, getting ready for my first bodybuilding competition, I've travelled more countries than ever.
At this point I don't really have time or desire to date, I've gone on a few and I always get bored as I keep finding people who don't really excite me enough.
I work in the UK, but I go monthly to easter europe, where I'm from.
Last summer I met this girl while visiting home. I'm 26, she's 21. She was hot and we were getting along great. We'd meet outside on a bench and talk for hours. Her body language was dead, I'd sit in the middle and she'd sit in a corner. We met a few times but at one point I cut contact as she would be very flaky about meetings as her time management was bad. I wasn't going to keep wasting my time.
Fyi when we meet she told me she isn't looking to date specifically as she enjoys freedom and meeting people etc.
Two months passed by and Covid hit. Last time we met, I told her if she ever needs help coding to let me know. So one day she texts me if I can help her.
I was very uninterested in her, but I enjoy helping people, especially with this as I tend to teach others in my free time. So I said ok. I'd have video calls with her, she'd try to make more conversation but i was very aloof.
Eventually, I let my guard down and started talking more. We started to really connect, she apologies for how she acted before. In quite a short time we were talking daily. She'd always be quite weird about sex. Very reserved. Although she has had sex before, out of relationships and had a very short relationship, 5 months with a possessive person. At one point she admitted that she likes me. We eventually were on the same page, we both couldn't wait to meet and be intimate and spend time together.
When I finally went back home after the lockdown was done, I couldn't meet right away. We started talking a bit less. Then when we met, we were again outside on the bench, her body language was exactly the same which really messed with my head. When I took her home she ended up staying and looking at me, I am 110% sure she wanted me to kiss her, but I was so weirded out by her cold body language that I just couldn't do it.
I invited her over for movies, we were connecting well and we watched a movie. I sat in the middle of the bed, then she got into a corner and basically wrapped herself like a cocoon with only her head out, very far from me. Again I was very confused, what was going on. She quickly went upstairs, I didn't get a chance to kiss her.
She behaved the same next time. So I asked her, why is she acting like she's afraid of me? She told me she's in a weird period where she's not really looking to date or meet people right now, I'm the only guy she's been talking to from Tinder for so long and she really loves my company. That she's weird and loses interest fast in people etc. and she doesn't know how long this thing will last. She even told me sex would complicate things ( all of a sudden?). Eventually she tells me at this point not to wait for her and that she can only be my friend now. I realise it can't get worse so what the hell. I grab her head to massage it, and tell her to come closer so I can do it properly. I start massaging her back, under her clothes, legs, and eventually i just start grabbing her ass, and inner thighs. I sit on her and start rubbing those areas until I can hear her breathing very heavily, she was getting turned on. She was on her stomach so I couldn't flip her around, I tell her to turn (so i can kiss her) and she tells me she's too comfortable like that. At one point i kiss her on the neck and no reaction. Again tell her to turn to me but she won't. I ask her about the massage, if that's how friends do it and she eventually doesn't know what to say so she pauses and then "what i said still stands".
After that she barely talked to me for a week, even saw her at the gym and she acted odd. She told me nothing is wrong, all conversations would be killed by her. So I decided to drop it. Just went no contact for a week or so.
She eventually texted me and started talking more. I was being distant, I asked her to come to mine. I cooked for us and we played some board games. We went into very deep talk and started having "moments", where she would just stare at me and give me these big smiles, we would flirt and it was all good. Eventually she asked me randomly how tall I am. She then stood up and compared herself to me saying "it's not that bad '' (she's shorter than me). That night she also proposed we do a party where I bring a friend and she brings one. When I took her home, she hugged me, while letting go I stopped and held her, she then looked at me, face turned and started smiling but not turning her head, let herself go a bit back. I smiled as well and let her go as I felt she wasn't ready for it. Her reaction, even though she didn't turn her head, she smiled at me and laughed, but in a cute way. She realised what I wanted to do.
At one point again I made fun of her height and told her that she likes that I'm tall, which she agreed.
She asked me to meet. We went to my place and were just hanging out in the kitchen. I told her let's do that party at my best friend's house. So I ask her what her friends' tastes are in boys and then I ask what she likes as a flirt.. She starts describing her ideal guy which was basically me..except she says "tall but not too tall, I'm a bit over that limit and it's intimidating, that she doesn't want to look like a sister next to a guy”. This made no sense to me as she always said she's really into me being tall, even last time when she compared herself. I told her the guy she is describing is me more or less, and she shrugs as in "not quite", tells me it's due to the height and then not sure if she wanted to say anything more. She then starts joking that she can introduce me to her friend as her friend told her I'm hot at the gym. It seemed like she was making up random flaws for me. Then kept saying during the night find me a guy that fits my description (jokingly). All the flirting I would try to do at that point she would shut down. It was like since the last meeting her attitude changed completely. I asked her as a test if she likes guys with piercings and then tattoos ( as i have them), which she said yes, and then she asked me "why? do you have piercings?". So she was still thinking of me.
We had the party on Friday and her friend couldn't come so she was alone. We start drinking and socialising. It went really well, but her behaviour was quite neutral. At the end we were alone. I kept looking for an opening. We played a few more games and went to smoke in the kitchen where we talked. At one point she did expose her neck (not sure how relevant it is), but was across the table. We ate and then we go to bed, SAME BED, but she just crashes on her stomach on the side. I just pet her head until she falls asleep ( took about 2 min). She spent half of the other day there, but she acted the same, very friendly but always at a distance. I could never see a clear sign to kiss her. She'd sit on her phone at times and ask me what I'm doing as I was stuck a bit in my head thinking wtf is going on. She would show me at times random chicks on instagram and ask me if they are hot, me being an idiot, I say my neighbour(her) is, her reaction is non-existent.
She told me not to worry as we are friends. I tell her that I'm not just meeting with you because we are friends, as I like her and she tells me we already talked about this, I shouldn't wait for her, or "if i want to meet with you and spend time does it mean necessarily that I want something else?". I started confronting her about her mixed signals, at one point she told me I only understand things the way I want to, as she told me she avoids talking about sex and never told me she can't wait, so I told her that's bs and I can simply show her screenshots of those conversations. She tells me "oh i forgot about that. The thing is I have a lot of things to do now and I'd like to focus on that".
At this point I thought maybe she thinks I want something super serious, (I am looking for something more casual as I don’t have time), I live in another country for the next year. So I told her "relax I don't want a relationship right now, I'm the type of person who needs space. I want to keep in contact with you but I won't be acting anymore like just your gay friend." Then she asks me, what are we going to do then as I don't understand. I told her we will find a way and talk about it live. It's clear that she still wants me around.
I've come to care for her after talking for so long. Most of the people I know tell me that I should just kiss her already, but now I really don't expect a good outcome.
Can this be turned around ?
I could either try confronting her and talking to see if she is just worried of me wanting a big commitment, if it’s not that I will tell her I can’t keep acting like just a friend and maybe even kiss her? Or do a Corey Wayne and walk away. We even discussed meeting up again for a party and bringing her friend, which might be good since her friend told her to get with me.
