Have I been friendzoned?

[Sgthaytham]

Some days I feel like she must like me, some days I feel like I manage to convince myself she doesn't. I've always been like this: overanalytical

There's a flatmate who I really fancy.

The things she does that make me think she does like me:

- Always laughing at my jokes. I'm quite a funny guy in general, but even my worst jokes she laughs

- Eye contact. There have been loads of moments, especially with other people around us when we lock eye contact and hold it for quite some time. Maybe she doesn't feel it, but I can feel a "spark" and they're really nice moments

- Also this thing I call "Autolook". This is is usually in a group setting and if she says a joke or if someone else makes a joke or a comment, she'll look at me. This is pretty much all the time

- She once told me she liked my jacket and asked to wear it. Probably means nothing though

- She's randomly hugged me a few times out of nowhere

- She didn't directly call me a "player", but she told me I only speak to her in my native tongue to "girls I'm trying to

All this despite telling me she "doesn't want to get attached" on the third day after we'd met.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Every single one of these is a major IOI.

If you are worried about being her "friend," I have good news: Only you can make that happen, lol. She fancies you too.

Remember, Always Assume Attraction. In the long run I think you need to work on your self-perception. You need to be in a constant state of high value, so constant that it isn't even a question in your mind. But that's long term.

Short term...well she's a flatmate. How's that gonna work?

Yeah, I have quite a bit of self-doubt that I have to work on, and I am continuing to work on.

I can put a "face" on, but when I'm alone I do question a lot of things, which I need to stop, for sure.

In regards to her being a flatmate, I'm not looking at what might happen in the future, I'd rather stick to what's going on now. I'm in no rush, but maybe that's why she said "I don't want to get attached": she just thought I was coming too strong - I usually go for what I like sexually. I'm a big flirt.

Edit: I realise that you're wondering what could happen if everything goes tits up (hopefully not), again, even though it's fair for you to remark, I'm not worried about it.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Honestly, and really honestly, you sound a bit too high value to just be settling out for this chick, she sounds like she would make herself available for you even during something serious, but the thing is, the second you make yourself available, her interest will wain.

Tough call, but she sounds like more of an orbiter for you than anything else, women love to orbit.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Make a move to escalate and you will have your answer. The only IOI that matters in the end is if she gets naked and puts your d!ck in one of her holes.

The problem too many guys get caught up in is trying to understand what all of this means or they enjoy trying to think about these things in their own mind and concoct some fantasyland outcome rather than find out the real outcome because they are afraid it will be different from the one they envision in their mind.

Don't get caught up in your own mentally projected outcomes OP, find out the truth.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Honestly, and really honestly, you sound a bit too high value to just be settling out for this chick, she sounds like she would make herself available for you even during something serious, but the thing is, the second you make yourself available, her interest will wain.

Tough call, but she sounds like more of an orbiter for you than anything else, women love to orbit.

Thanks for the compliment!

What makes you think she would settle for something serious? I honestly thought it was done for when she told me "I don't want/like to be attached" lol

Don't get me wrong I'm keeping my options open, I've got a few other women who have shown some IOIs too... but let's see.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Make a move to escalate and you will have your answer. The only IOI that matters in the end is if she gets naked and puts your d!ck in one of her holes.

The problem too many guys get caught up in is trying to understand what all of this means or they enjoy trying to think about these things in their own mind and concoct some fantasyland outcome rather than find out the real outcome because they are afraid it will be different from the one they envision in their mind.

Don't get caught up in your own mentally projected outcomes OP, find out the truth.

You're right, and so is Samspade.

The IOIs I listed are just things I've picked up over the last week or so, that made inclined to believe she has some interest... it's just my insecurities thinking she's friendzoned me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks for the compliment!

What makes you think she would settle for something serious? I honestly thought it was done for when she told me "I don't want/like to be attached" lol

Don't get me wrong I'm keeping my options open, I've got a few other women who have shown some IOIs too... but let's see.

OP...why are you even contemplating "something serious"??

This is for women to contemplate not men. Your job is to fvck her and be fun and exciting to be around not to try and get her to accept something serious.

This screams 0 options to a woman.

 

[Sgthaytham]

OP...why are you even contemplating "something serious"??

This is for women to contemplate not men. Your job is to fvck her and be fun and exciting to be around not to try and get her to accept something serious.

This screams 0 options to a woman.

By "done for" I meant that she had no interest, not anything serious. Sorry, I should have made that clear.

 

[Serenity]

The problem with analyzing is that the window of opportunity closes before you take any action. By the time you do take action to find out where she stands it will be too late. You seek safety before taking action, a certainty that she really does like you that way so when you take action you'll get the outcome you desire. It is extremely rare to have this certainty, no amount of analyzing will help with that and there's almost always some risk involved (usually insignificant consequences). It might feel humiliating to show interest when she doesn't feel the same, that's the typical risk, but it's very short-lived and insignificant in the big picture. Regret will torment you a lot longer.

I personally find it better to deal with it if it doesn't go the way I want than to continue living life never knowing what could have been.

Just go for it. If she turns you down just tell her it's cool and continue as friends, that's the least awkward option if it doesn't go the way you'd like.

 

[King Lion]

Just continue as you are...One day or night she will either try to slide up next to you for some 'fun' and you can hit it, and/or she'll tell you about some other guy...Then you will have your answer.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Then you will have your answer.

Meaning I'm wasting my time?

 

[Clamslammer]

Some days I feel like she must like me, some days I feel like I manage to convince myself she doesn't. I've always been like this: overanalytical

There's a flatmate who I really fancy.

The things she does that make me think she does like me:

- Always laughing at my jokes. I'm quite a funny guy in general, but even my worst jokes she laughs

- Eye contact. There have been loads of moments, especially with other people around us when we lock eye contact and hold it for quite some time. Maybe she doesn't feel it, but I can feel a "spark" and they're really nice moments

- Also this thing I call "Autolook". This is is usually in a group setting and if she says a joke or if someone else makes a joke or a comment, she'll look at me. This is pretty much all the time

- She once told me she liked my jacket and asked to wear it. Probably means nothing though

- She's randomly hugged me a few times out of nowhere

- She didn't directly call me a "player", but she told me I only speak to her in my native tongue to "girls I'm trying to

All this despite telling me she "doesn't want to get attached" on the third day after we'd met.

Girls dont put guys in the friendzone...guys put themselves there but not going for what they want. If you like her ask her out on a date and escalate. If she is not with it you find a girl that is and you quit giivng her attention

 

[King Lion]

Meaning I'm wasting my time?

No, not at all....Be yourself, which seems to appeal to her - So do nothing different. Be just as you are - Funny and attentive. Just don't let her know how you really feel...She may believe she knows, but she doesn't really know because the difference between real knowledge and belief is great.

Kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny, but grownups know better. If she is serious and not just curious she'll let you know. Since she is your "flatmate" there's no need to hurry. You'll probably have lots of time to communicate, joke around, get high, philosophize, or whatever together. You'll likely see her prancing around in her sexy undies on occasion.....Know this: Romance is like making fine pastry - it's best when laying on one thin layer at a time - from both parties.

I'll share with you what life has taught me with regards to females...Don't be a simp! Don't kiss her azz, or fawn over her, or spill your tortured lovesick guts to her! Stand for something, or you will fall for anything!

They can turn on you in a minute like a rabid dog, but if you hold 'frame' they will know you are not to be messed with....And that goes for anyone in life.

So never, Ever, EVER, take **** from a gal who acts like a bi-atch!
They will respect you as a Man and that's all most men should want - Respect - and most women want - A MAN.

 

[deBrito]

Make a move to escalate and you will have your answer. The only IOI that matters in the end is if she gets naked and puts your d!ck in one of her holes.

The problem too many guys get caught up in is trying to understand what all of this means or they enjoy trying to think about these things in their own mind and concoct some fantasyland outcome rather than find out the real outcome because they are afraid it will be different from the one they envision in their mind.

Don't get caught up in your own mentally projected outcomes OP, find out the truth.

I agree 100% with this.

I'm working on to get rid of this dreamland mentality, the first step i took is to pursue rejection, that way i will not be surprised if i get shot down.

 

[Romanemp22]

I don't know why you analyze every of her looks towards you, it may mean nothing. It's easier to get straight forward and express your desires and if she's interested she will not give you mixed signals.

 

[Sgthaytham]

No, not at all....Be yourself, which seems to appeal to her - So do nothing different. Be just as you are - Funny and attentive. Just don't let her know how you really feel...She may believe she knows, but she doesn't really know because the difference between real knowledge and belief is great.

Kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny, but grownups know better. If she is serious and not just curious she'll let you know. Since she is your "flatmate" there's no need to hurry. You'll probably have lots of time to communicate, joke around, get high, philosophize, or whatever together. You'll likely see her prancing around in her sexy undies on occasion.....Know this: Romance is like making fine pastry - it's best when laying on one thin layer at a time - from both parties.

I'll share with you what life has taught me with regards to females...Don't be a simp! Don't kiss her azz, or fawn over her, or spill your tortured lovesick guts to her! Stand for something, or you will fall for anything!

They can turn on you in a minute like a rabid dog, but if you hold 'frame' they will know you are not to be messed with....And that goes for anyone in life.

So never, Ever, EVER, take **** from a gal who acts like a bi-atch!
They will respect you as a Man and that's all most men should want - Respect - and most women want - A MAN.

Thanks for this post mate.

She asked me if I was off work Saturday because we’re having a flat party tomorrow night.

Will keep you guys up to date.

I used to be a bit of a kiss ass when I was younger, but I’ve grown up and as you said I don’t take **** from anyone, especially not this 46 year ****tard in the flat, but that’s another story.

 

[King Lion]

Thanks for this post mate.

She asked me if I was off work Saturday because we’re having a flat party tomorrow night.

Will keep you guys up to date.

I used to be a bit of a kiss ass when I was younger, but I’ve grown up and as you said I don’t take **** from anyone, especially not this 46 year ****tard in the flat, but that’s another story.

You're welcome.
Hmmm....Friday is ruled by the 'love' planet Venus - and it's said that Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus.
I think you'll learn and know a lot more about her tomorrow, before, during, or after the party...Keep us posted.

Best regards.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks for this post mate.

She asked me if I was off work Saturday because we’re having a flat party tomorrow night.

Will keep you guys up to date.

I used to be a bit of a kiss ass when I was younger, but I’ve grown up and as you said I don’t take **** from anyone, especially not this 46 year ****tard in the flat, but that’s another story.

Flat party during COVID? You must be crazy

 

[TheGambino]

Make a move to escalate and you will have your answer. The only IOI that matters in the end is if she gets naked and puts your d!ck in one of her holes.

The problem too many guys get caught up in is trying to understand what all of this means or they enjoy trying to think about these things in their own mind and concoct some fantasyland outcome rather than find out the real outcome because they are afraid it will be different from the one they envision in their mind.

Don't get caught up in your own mentally projected outcomes OP, find out the truth.

I agree, it leads nowhere. You build report and attraction? Go for the kill, ask her out and escalate. That’s all you have to do.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Flat party during COVID? You must be crazy

We're in the same flat/household, it's legal where we are.