I know this is obvious. But Jesus. I have so many freaking stories of awesome dudes turning into miserable slobs after getting married, then getting divorced, turning back into awesome dudes.
Let me tell you about my 10-year marriage. First two years were great, really it was awesome. Year three she started getting lazy, putting on weight, not keeping the house clean, dinners turned into boxed cr@p of bvll****... I called her out on all that... it was a daily sh1t show. She eventually straightened out and everything was back to normal. Year four was good, not great, but I would have been fine staying married if we kept having year 4. Year 5.... well that's when the passive aggressive bvllsh1t started.... this resulted in a once a week argument about her inability to control my behavior.... but again, I dug in my heels, and she self-corrected. Year 6... we were back to year 4... normal... fine... Year 7 was more sh1t show... again I refused to change to accommodate her insecurities, wasted money in marriage counseling. Year 8, she started seeing shrinks... spending sh1t loads on money on that bullsh1t. Year 9, the kids are born... she descended into massive depression. Every effort on my part to get her to be a decent wife and mom, resulted in me being categorized as selfish and heartless. I actually had one of her shrinks tell me in a counseling session that I was being 'selfish' for not hiring a live in nanny to take care of the girls... Man... I'm not a guy that loses his temper easy, but fvck. I told this jack@ss is it fair that I have a wife that is mentally ill? That she has two infants she can't deal with? Or that I don't have $85,000 a year for a live-in nanny sitting around as disposable income. Later that year I get another call from one of her shrinks that my ex was having thoughts of drowning one of the girls in the tub. That is when I had her committed for a couple of months that cost me over $100k. During this time, my mom came in to take care of the kids while I worked... When the ex was released, mom stayed with us, because I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan for 6 months. Year 10... mom, who didn't want to say anything while I was deployed (she is a smart women) when I got back told me she was going out with male 'friends' on a semi-regular basis. When I confronted the ex, she fessed up... and of course it was all my fault (it's always the man's fault). Any way she was fvcking a couple of dudes she met when she had been committed. Talk about feeling like a fool… paying $100,000 so your wife can get some side d1ck. I filed for divorce... Which was expensive as fvck, because I fought for custody. Meanwhile, she had all her legal expenses paid for by some foundation and group formed to support abused women, and when they didn't pay... the courts required me to pay for her lawyers. Anyway... that process is a long story, which I will skip... and when it was obvious that I was going to prevail they came back and negotiated a deal... we went back and forth, but eventually settling on everything I was asking for plus spousal support, which would be fixed at $1,800 a month, and not tied to my income level, until the girls were out of HS (1.5 more years) and she would not have to pay child support. Now we get along fine really, we do, I consider my ex a friend, we don't argue or fight and can co-parent without any problems.
Now why did I share this? Simple... I can completely understand why any man would just surrender to their wife's machinations. And just turn into a weak piece of sh1t. It is incredibly hard to stand your ground and fight for what you want, because at the end of the day... government has given her A LOT of power... she will be able to surround herself with friends and family and no matter what you do, most of the people in your life will call you a selfish pr1ck. It is emotionally exhausting, and until you are in that situation you have no idea what most married men have to go through. You start off compromising, it starts with little things... then there are more little things... then the little things become big... then the next thing you know is you are the frog in boiling water. I totally see how this can happen. You can be like me... I did not compromise ANYTHING unless I got something in return... when she started trying to control me, I pushed back. I did everything "Red Pill" says you have to do when you are in a LTR, and guess what... it still didn't work with me because I did not have a sane chick I was married to. "Red Pill" philosophy ONLY works with chicks that are not crazy... the problem is most women today are crazy. So, if you are a guy that wants to get married.... well you better learn how to screen out crazy @ss b1tchs and only try to make things work with chicks that REALLY love you. It can be done, but it takes a lot of hard work.
Anyway, sorry for the long tirade.... but every time I see some BS article about some over generalized statement that marriage is good for men I just can not allow that to stand unchallenged. Marriage can be great, but it takes a lot of work... and you have to be ready to raise your wife like she was a teenager that you can not punish.... because she will push your buttons. The only way a marriage is REALLY beneficial to a man is if he is married to a SANE woman that loves you.. never settle for anything less.
