Fiance is getting fat and ugly

[Voice]

Not doey but you can definitely hit the gym harder man. Jump on the intermittent fasting crew. 5x5 strength train split. Inspire her and others lulz

I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?

I know I sound like an ******* but if she lost like 10-15 lbs it would be a world of difference.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?

Voice mate, scoop a set of gymnastic rings on amazon. DONE! CALI KING FTW! YOUTUBE fitness faq. The year was calisthenics and hitting it hard. Real hard. The cali transformation will turn you super sayain. I added in Fasting too. The outcome is stupid. Not even comparable. I have not been this aesthetic since my early twenties but my strength is ridiculous. I have not been this strong. I have all functional workouts. Building a cali routine is different. I also added on kettlebell workouts. We've had multiple lockdowns in the UK. Its super annoying but my joints feel like being a kid again. The lack of iron and more cali functioning exercise was a wonder on my body. Give it a go.

I am far from a white Knight. The easy thing to do is for me to take out the flame thrower and torch the gf. Troll really hard. I recommend using pandemic and going super sayain mode. It will absolutely accelerate your motivations. She will follow suit. Approaching women won't hurt especially while you jump on the intermittent fasting crew and calisthenics King routines.

I lead. She follows or next. Repeat till d falls off or dead. The approach is golden. If she doesn't step it up after you go, then drop her off as it will go bad. It's that law of state transference. Forget about the jargon. Just go 1st. Its that same mindset for sales, pickup, the job hunt or whatever. Inspire the uninspired. Most people are coping. Barely getting by. Then you come in!

It could be hormones, what she ate, stress or she could be getting fat or worse, pregnant. Strap up bro. Again, set the pace. Your not in bad shape especially with the 9 month pandemic shutdown etc. Going shred calis. I don't have the space for a home gym. Rings take no space. Outdoors is a good thing. Any excuse to get out. Another excuse to approach.

 

[bcude]

I realized she was turning into her mom and divorced her. Best decision i ever made, 20 yrs later she IS her mom, shaped like a brick and ugly. I dodged a bullet by divorcing her even tho it cost me 20 yrs of child support it was a good decision. Id of put a bullet in my head by now had i stayed. those years you waste on someone you can never get back

Yep. It rings true once again.

Genetics. Always look at the parents.

Not always the case but it's usually a good guideline and reliable indicator what her greatest female influence is doing/behaving/conducting herself when it comes to appearance.

OP, don't settle. Her current mindset is a disrespect to your masculinity. Talk with her about the importance of sex for you in a relationship and it goes without saying that you should always inspire her as the leader of the relationship.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Here's another pic bro, you see any dough?

View attachment 5191

Denial is a river in Egypt

Depending upon location. In the Midwest you'd be fit. In Cali, Texas or Florida they could complain about some small manboobs and a little belly fats.

 

[flowtheory]

Here's another pic bro, you see any dough?

View attachment 5191

Denial is a river in Egypt

To me? Slightly doughy.

You need to build more muscle and then to lean down.

If you’re wanting 12% BF now you will just look skinny.

You don’t have clear shape or muscle
separation.

You have some work to do

I would do this if I were you:
Clean eating 90% of time
250cals above maintenance.
High carb, high protein, low fat
IF a if you wish with 6-7 hour eating window
Just black coffee in morning for 4 hours

-4 day Upper lower split-
Warmup
1-2 ab movements
Workout under 50mins 80% compound/20%isolation
stretching after

Give it 6 months. Then post pics and then maybe leave you gf

 

[Voice]

We cook with a lot of olive oil. I think we overdo it. It's probably the healthiest oil but I definitely think it has something to do with the dough. I plan on going high protein, carbs only whole grain if I can and easy on the olive oil and decrease the cheese intake.

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?

 

[flowtheory]

We cook with a lot of olive oil. I think we overdo it. It's probably the healthiest oil but I definitely think it has something to do with the dough. I plan on going high protein, carbs only whole grain if I can and easy on the olive oil and decrease the cheese intake.

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?

Everything that goes in to your dishes ends up in your stomach and then in to fuel or storage. Have to be cognoscente of macros if you have a hard goal.. measuring and such. This is why 90% of people who workout don’t end up looking how they want. The effort and attention is too much.

The workout with IF would be whenever you can do it. Not much has to change with IF. Initially the shift will be odd or take two weeks because it’s a lifestyle change.

Like any weightlifting or other hobby, do it when YOU can give it its best effort and will have steady and sustained clear output, yknow?
I love reading and do a lot. But there’s no way in heck I can read Camu of Dostoevsky right after waking up or right before bed. I’m better reading and retaining at lunch or at 6-9pm.

I personally feel best with workouts in the afternoon.

 

[bat soup]

I'm in a high covid area, have been avoiding the gym lately but I bought some heavy duty bands. I don't get the same amount of DOMS with the bands.

Also I've been basically just doing portion control and already lost 3-4 pounds. Goal is to get the body fat under 12%.

As for the fiance she has periods where she looks pretty good, her stomach is flatter, looks healthier etc but then there are other periods where her whole body looks bloated including her face and stomach. Idk what's going on. I suspect it's some sort of dairy/wheat thing going on. Could be hormones?

I know I sound like an ******* but if she lost like 10-15 lbs it would be a world of difference.

She's never going to look as good as she can did. Over the long term she's only going to get worse.

 

[Pandora]

Lol. We have a one bedroom apartment with no storage space and it's 2 grand a month. It's expensive as fck where we live. Those clothes was laundry or something and I think we just got back from a vacation our stuff was everywhere.

2 grand a month for a 1 bedroom! That sounds like DC, LA, San Fran or New York prices. Would yall ever think about relocating to a more rural area with nature trails etc?

 

[jimwho]

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?

I tried what the experts said and ended up just racing/mtn-biking when ever I wanted. I used to fast, now I only eat once a day. Big meal and its sometimes hard to finish. I can't believe I used to eat lunch. Now my body works on other crap all day instead of digesting. First couple days you suffer. Then you get used to a light hunger, in time food during the day seems nasty. Counting calories is great at first, after a while its all ingrained in memory. Try it for life..

 

[Voice]

2 grand a month for a 1 bedroom! That sounds like DC, LA, San Fran or New York prices. Would yall ever think about relocating to a more rural area with nature trails etc?

We live in the suburbs of one of those cities yeah. It's also somewhat close to our friends and family so we wouldn't move too far but of course the further you move away from the city the cheaper and lower taxes. We both have good jobs, just crazy what you can't afford in this type of area even with 2 decent salaries. Regular looking houses are half a million dollars here.

I couldn't see myself living in too much of a rural area. Too boring.

As far as her getting in better shape, physical activity is great but it's mostly her diet and love of high calorie drinks from places like Starbucks. She never used to consume this much when we first started dating.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

We cook with a lot of olive oil. I think we overdo it. It's probably the healthiest oil but I definitely think it has something to do with the dough. I plan on going high protein, carbs only whole grain if I can and easy on the olive oil and decrease the cheese intake.

As far as the IF, when would the workout be? After dinner? After lunch? Before?

Olive oil is a good choice. Just in moderation. Healthy fats.

I failed to read title. I just saw, FAT. In retrospect, the red flag is FIANCE. MUST NIP THIS IN THE BUD. Even if hurting feelings.

I feel for fellow dj when I see before and after married pics. LTR is a pie eating contest for modern women. If you want a LTR she must be glued to the gym.

 

[tihash]

We've been together for 7 years and she's really slowly fallen off with her looks the past few years. She went from a nice thin figure to out of shape and it really crept up on me. She has a double chin and big stomach. She also doesn't really care to do anything about it. She might lose a few pounds for a big event and then go right back to where she was before. She'll often eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll look at her and just shake my head. She's been congratulated on being pregnant, but she isn't, that's her food baby. She's also losing her hair. Wtf. She gets really badly bloated when eating dairy and carbs but she says she doesn't care she likes eating those foods and won't stop even though it looks god awful.

I stay in shape, go to the gym. I fantasize about how she used to look and other younger, hotter girls and coworkers. We have sex way less often.

I would like her to get back to at least close to what she was before. Otherwise honestly I can't see a marriage working.

Any advice?

Before:
View attachment 5166

Now:
View attachment 5167
View attachment 5168

What's with the messy house? That's another red flag

 

[tihash]

I had a GF who was 5'10" to 5'11" @ 185. "Solid muscle" for a female, she had a 28 inch waist, everything hard. Big Amazon lady. Former athelete.

Gross

 

[bcude]

 

[speed dawg]

If you can't get hard looking/thinking about her right now, then you have to leave. She will not magically lose this weight. You knew this 5 years ago. Why have you stayed this long?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Gross

You would've thought shes a slim big t1tted bombshell. She wasn't built like a bodybuilder or anything. Just a slim tall former athlete who didn't have alot of body fat.

 

[flowtheory]

Jokes at her expense, teasing, distancing sexually? Those are all things which will make her feel poorly about the dynamic and the mans affections, and in-turn hers to him; the conditions of the relationship. Not to mention, they are subtle ultimatums.
Through all those covert actions to the greater objective, shes not going to just subconsciously understand “oh I have to be my best self for him” and then all of a sudden be in victoria secret shape lol. It’s just going to increase negative drama and unideal tension.

The best thing to do would be get himself in excellent condition; worry about himself, and through this the woman would be much more aware of herself and personal short-comings. And when she opens up about working out, health, her weight gain - through her own volition - that’s when you have the ‘hard conversation’ about your desire towards her ‘new self‘ and areas which you personally find attractive — It’s letting her step in to the difficult conversation herself. In to your frame, as opposed to the man saying ‘I need you to be this way for me’ Through the guise of teasing and pokes.

To get anyone to do anything, it has to be their choice. Otherwise you’re just saying how things should be, and people naturally want to rebel against that for the sake of retaining autonomy.
So you don’t kick in the door. You simply influence the person to unlock and slowly open the door.

if you get yourself in great shape and change your life for the better, and she is gaining more and more weight, only going down hill, you’re simply incompatible for the future based on values. Different trajectories.
But you would naturally distance yourself from her during this time based on your natural loss of attraction, rather than unnaturally withholding sex to get her to change.

The only goal a man should have in a relationship is the same as what it should be when he is single - to exponentially increase his value. When you’re doing this, the woman you’re with will naturally want to be in alignment. And if they aren’t? You simply move on because you can sense the lack of harmony. Nothing a man does should be because of a woman. Changing her behaviours or withholding sex is just a loss to your independence and are petty games.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You need to sit her down and have a heart to heart with her about it. Of you have already done so then you my just need to end things if you don't see things progressing in the right direction.

 

[Redwolf]

If you want her to work out regularly you need to foster some competition anxiety. She needs to know you can get other girls or even think you might be. A little dread game goes a long way.

Talk about the cute young girl at work that flirts with you. She doesn't need to know if there isn't one.

Tell her for your birthday you want her to get in the best shape of her life.

Get her mad and worried.