Basic principles: Interest = cooperation

[bat soup]

One of the biggest insights I've learnt is that the way to determine a woman's level of interest is to see how much she cooperates. If a woman likes you she will cooperate and if she doesn't she'll put obstacles in your way. This is why, if you think about it, the last woman you dated probably wasn't very difficult to get with at all, because the problems and issues that normally come up simply didn't exist.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Yeah this "going above and beyond" by women for me (on my behalf) is few and far between or very rare, because they've pretty much ALL had so many clingers-on dudes tugging at their shirts and bras, I mean, willin to "go above and beyond" for THEM like ah, fixing her car for free (maybe even paying for her car parts), or fixing something inside the house/apartment with motivation to get a "free" lay.

 

[bat soup]

Yeah this "going above and beyond" by women for me (on my behalf) is few and far between or very rare, because they've pretty much ALL had so many clingers-on dudes tugging at their shirts and bras, I mean, willin to "go above and beyond" for THEM like ah, fixing her car for free (maybe even paying for her car parts), or fixing something inside the house/apartment with motivation to get a "free" lay.

The problem with doing stuff like that is that you're still no closer to finding out if there's genuine sexual interest. In fact, it makes it more difficult because it muddies the water by bringing other interests into play.

 

[darksprezzatura]

The surest indicator of interest: compliance.
You're spot on.

 

[wblanda]

Thank you for this post.

 

[isasda66]

Compliance is King

 

[Serenity]

It's one of the most common mistakes men do when dealing with women. Trying to somehow convince a woman to become more interested than she is, it doesn't work and in many cases just increases her disinterest.

If they're really interested they will offer no resistance in dating and may even take the initiative.

It took a good while before I learned and internalized it, but now it's just natural to me. My own emotions are now "programmed" such that I just lose interest in people that show little interest in me. I'm worth no less than a woman and shouldn't have to persuade or convince her I'm a good deal, either she likes what she sees or she doesn't. Going above and beyond in an attempt to show myself off and impress a woman has always been a waste of time and energy in my experience.

Many guys ask "how do I make her like me?", the answer is you don't. You move on until you find mutual interest, someone you like who also likes you. If being with a woman feels forced and arduous then you're on the wrong track and with the wrong woman.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah this "going above and beyond" by women for me (on my behalf) is few and far between or very rare, because they've pretty much ALL had so many clingers-on dudes tugging at their shirts and bras, I mean, willin to "go above and beyond" for THEM like ah, fixing her car for free (maybe even paying for her car parts), or fixing something inside the house/apartment with motivation to get a "free" lay.

That never can be the motivation, they keep free handimen around, and also the free "Uber" services. Do those things because you are her actual friend.

 

[Bigpapa]

I have a different take on this

yes those who have high interest in you will be compliant . Very spot on

but how about those who are not sure about you yet ? A lot of girls who are attractive behave somehow interested in you because well she already has a lot of high value men who want to date her or whatever , so at the beginning she will not be as compliant as those who are highly attracted to you from the get go .

 

[Serenity]

but how about those who are not sure about you yet ? A lot of girls who are attractive behave somehow interested in you because well she already has a lot of high value men who want to date her or whatever , so at the beginning she will not be as compliant as those who are highly attracted to you from the get go .

Don't go through the usual formalities of getting a number and date, remove all expectation and be super casual. Be in the moment, talk and just be you. Ideally it's a situation where you have the opportunity to keep interacting for an hour or longer. Point is that she'll have enough time to make out who you are, but not under the expectations that follow with calling it a date.

Essentially you do what you typically do on a first date, getting to know each other, but more casually than calling it a date. It's not a quick chat, number and then asking out as is typical. Instead the initial conversation moves on to an extended conversation right away, if it seems to be going well then add in flirting and escalation. After that proceed as you would after any other first date, she will offer little resistance if she's interested, just like any other woman.

Only difference is they need a bit more than just a first impression.

 

[cola]

This is true.

 

[Bigpapa]

Don't go through the usual formalities of getting a number and date, remove all expectation and be super casual. Be in the moment, talk and just be you. Ideally it's a situation where you have the opportunity to keep interacting for an hour or longer. Point is that she'll have enough time to make out who you are, but not under the expectations that follow with calling it a date.

Essentially you do what you typically do on a first date, getting to know each other, but more casually than calling it a date. It's not a quick chat, number and then asking out as is typical. Instead the initial conversation moves on to an extended conversation right away, if it seems to be going well then add in flirting and escalation. After that proceed as you would after any other first date, she will offer little resistance if she's interested, just like any other woman.

Only difference is they need a bit more than just a first impression.

totally agree with you . I was just making a point that this might be or not be relevant if you just met the girl

 

[Atom Smasher]

A better nutshell for all this is:
“Interest = submission”.

 

[Georgepithyou]

The old Brad Pitt Question, would she flake on Brad Pitt? Would she be too busy aith work for him? Would she hang out with her friends instead of Brad?

The more interested she is the more likely she is to just agree to ur plans exactly as OP stated.

 

[Romanemp22]

One of the biggest insights I've learnt is that the way to determine a woman's level of interest is to see how much she cooperates. If a woman likes you she will cooperate and if she doesn't she'll put obstacles in your way. This is why, if you think about it, the last woman you dated probably wasn't very difficult to get with at all, because the problems and issues that normally come up simply didn't exist.

I agree. I also have a question for you. What about women who want you to fight for her? That you need to be persistent to pursue and finally get her. Does she have interest or her interest comes from time the more you pursue? There are girls like that and ofc there are girls who make it easy for you without bullsh1t

 

[Bigpapa]

I agree. I also have a question for you. What about women who want you to fight for her? That you need to be persistent to pursue and finally get her. Does she have interest or her interest comes from time the more you pursue? There are girls like that and ofc there are girls who make it easy for you without bullsh1t

exactly the point I made earlier .

usually high value girls are not as obidient from the get go , unless you way higher value than the guys who usually give her attention .

after some point it is almost impossible to be way higher value than her other options, unless you are this archetype of money , looks and personality , which most of the guys will never reach .

if she fights with you and stuff like that it is a good thing , because basically she is sh1t testing you , which means that she has some sort of attraction towards you

 

[Romanemp22]

exactly the point I made earlier .

usually high value girls are not as obidient from the get go , unless you way higher value than the guys who usually give her attention .

after some point it is almost impossible to be way higher value than her other options, unless you are this archetype of money , looks and personality , which most of the guys will never reach .

if she fights with you and stuff like that it is a good thing , because basically she is sh1t testing you , which means that she has some sort of attraction towards you

I get what you saying. There are women that are tough to reach out, and wants a guy to prove himself to get her. So she's not cooperating at first.

 

[Bigpapa]

I get what you saying. There are women that are tough to reach out, and wants a guy to prove himself to get her. So she's not cooperating at first.

the line of thinking that the op exposed is better than what most men have , but is not perfect .

the perfect line of thinking is that most of the girls will be like that , but there are also a lot Of women who will sh1t test you . Usually the ones that are more difficult are actually higher value on average , so it will be stupid to let them get away .

are you going through something similar right now ?

 

[Bigpapa]

The old Brad Pitt Question, would she flake on Brad Pitt? Would she be too busy aith work for him? Would she hang out with her friends instead of Brad?

The more interested she is the more likely she is to just agree to ur plans exactly as OP stated.

i guess that it depends if she is Angelina Jolie or any other super high desirable woman

 

[Romanemp22]

the line of thinking that the op exposed is better than what most men have , but is not perfect .

the perfect line of thinking is that most of the girls will be like that , but there are also a lot Of women who will sh1t test you . Usually the ones that are more difficult are actually higher value on average , so it will be stupid to let them get away .

are you going through something similar right now ?

Exactly, the prettier she is the harder it will be. Yes, whenever I encounter girls who are hot and who are legit with their head,girl I want they have that attitude, that they want a man to work for them maybe even a bit too much

Sometimes it annoys me man. I was dating recently really hot chick, even made few threads about her here but she was a nutcase and made me some problems so it was not worth it.