Playing hard to get behavior

[dude99]

I already did this , and started doing everything possible to notice her , except for actually directly contacting me .

so after this behavior that spanned over a couple of weeks I said that maybe she has a big ego and just wants to be sure that I really like her , so decided to get in touch with her . She was warm etc , just that after a while she started become bitchy again . Her bitchy behavior is more about making me chase her , which I do not like doing

What you are seeing is this-- her warm behaviour is an act. An act she feels she needs to put on to keep you on the string. This warm act keeps you orbiting her. She knows she can still use you.

When she goes Biatchy, you are getting a look at the real her. Read that again. The biatch is the real her. Even if you do manage to date her i tell you, you will be sorry in about 6 months.

If she is trying to draw you in and make you do all the work then she see's you as a source of entertainment. A validator. An orbiter. She see's you as something to toy with.

When it comes to chicks you only need to ask your self one question. "Am i getting what i want?"

What you want is relative and it differs from guy to guy, but if you aren't getting what you want then you are wasting your time and effort on the wrong girl.

Go 100% zero contact. Ignore. Delete. Next. Go focus on other women.

From this moment forward make her do 100% of the work. Make her put in 100% of the effort while you go date other women.

 

[bat soup]

Hey guys ,

I am dealing with an issue at the moment in which would be great if I could get some feedback from someone that is not invested as I am .

so basically the issue I am dealing is with a girl that is playing hard to get , and after she is hot then becomes cold . She even admitted that she is playing hard to get as “ she is not for everyone “ and things along this line .

Sometimes she is really warm and we have a great vibe , and then on purpose she becomes cold and becomes a ***** .

I never really showed that I am affected by this behavior and every time she started behaving this way I just back down and gave her room . Then I would reengage her after a couple of weeks and she would be super warm again .

what is annoying me is that she is behaving like this on purpose , as she admitted that she does this ***** moves on purpose .

the thing that I am missing right now if it there are any other options available besides to drop her .

I know for sure that she is attracted to me based on her behavior and she even admitted this a couple of times , but this behavior of her that she does on purpose started to be quite annoying .

what you guys think is the best move forward without dropping the nuke and just ignore her ?

It sounds like she enjoys wasting your time.

 

[TonyTenner]

The problem is when you place attraction and pvssy on a pedestal.

So what if she’s attracted to you? That’s not an achievement.

Womenz should not be used as a standard for anything.

I recently saw a post that said “fat guys can get laid. Broke guys can get laid.”

Yeah but, why would any guy want to be broke and fat?

Just because you can generate attraction from retarded chicks, that doesn’t qualify you as anything in life.

Women don’t define us. We define ourselves.

So get rid of the qualifier of attraction. It matters not that she is attracted to you. Shes a b1tch. That’s the only thing that should really matter to a guy with abundance.

Women are like a virus. The connection you have with her will bleed to your other relationships.

The same way a virus replicates itself and the symtpoms you get are the result of the unique combination of your DNA and the virus itself.

If you have a toxic connection with the main woman in your life, that toxic connection will replicate itself to other women. They will all instinctively pick up on your lack of boundaries and treat you accordingly.

I used to have a toxic connection, and my friends sh1tted on me, coworkers, even random strangers sh1tted on me. When I finally got rid of her and found a better connection, I kept running into more women with solid connections.

If you don’t believe me stay with her and see what happens. The vibe between the two of you will replicate itself over and over again.

This is gold.

Imagine saying this in real life LOL. "Women are a virus and they infect you and others". You'd lose your job and home. I agree though.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

it might be true that she gets banged by other dudes ,and it also might be true that she just saw too much bull**** in the media .

to be frank , I never encountered a situation like this , where is warm then a ***** and admits that she does this on purpose after a while , so my hamster wheel is kinda spinning now .

was just thinking that she likes and she admits that she is a ***** ( most likely because of the expectations about how a woman should behave , or how the perfect relationship starts ) , and for sure should be a strategy on how to counter this .

or maybe there is no strategy and things are just that simple and she is just not that into me .

I am quite confused at the moment , and I am just trying to find a strategy on how to disarm her game , and hopefully by friendzonig her while keeping an attractive vibe she will start chasing me

she's a b1tch or a wh0re? Which one?

 

[Bigpapa]

she's a b1tch or a wh0re? Which one?

i was just replying to someone that said that I should consider the option of her banging other dudes while I try to game her .

this is a legit possibility , as in the case with any other woman

 

[dude99]

i was just replying to someone that said that I should consider the option of her banging other dudes while I try to game her .

this is a legit possibility , as in the case with any other woman

Are you getting what you want out of her right now?

 

[Bigpapa]

Are you getting what you want out of her right now?

Nope , this is why I am here to see exactly what other people think about the situation , and see if there is any other options that I have not considered .

I think that it is a shame to give up without trying to do everything possible . This is how you grow , when you do not give up easily

Right now I am using something that in theory sounds that might be a way to lower down the walls , and this is to friendzone her while keeping a sexy vibe . By this I am trying to make her chase me , something that only happened till an extent when used different methods to make her chase me

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@Bigpapa this chick gets off to you thinking so hard about how to game her. If she read this thread she'd probably start dripping through her panties at the thought of how much of your time she's wasting.

What does she have to do in order for you to pass and never talk to her again? What if she calls you a name? What if she lies to you constantly? What if she hits you? What if she steals from you? These are the questions she's asking herself. This is the game you're letting her play. And every time you come back after one of these offenses she loses a bit more respect for you. By coming back you're confirming that you believe this is normal, that this is how you deserve to be treated. Do you understand?

If she never reaches out to you first then your social credit with her is in the red. She most likely resents you for not standing up for yourself and feels she's doing the right thing by being a biitch, to teach you a lesson.

Like any investment, be it monetary, emotional, whatever, there are many many times when it's much smarter to cut losses, regroup, refine, and try again on other terms, in other scenarios, with other people.

I think that it is a shame to give up without trying to do everything possible . This is how you grow , when you do not give up easily

Would you cut off your nuts for her if she asked? I mean that's included in 'everything possible' isn't it? What is your price?

By thinking without a price in mind you're saying that your time is best spent on how to game this toxic biitchy girl. Do you really think your career or your body or independent skills are not worth your time? Because that's what you're doing, you're consciously choosing to invest in the skill of 'attracting a biitchy girl that treats me like shiit'. Do you see?

At this point you're identifying with her treatment pretty heavily.

A man has principles that he sticks to with conviction. He doesn't hesitate, he's not on the fence, he has a price where he gets out and stays out.

You need to determine how far you're going to let this go, how much precious time you're prepared to invest in this endeavor, then hold yourself accountable when it comes time to exit. If you don't set your price and stick to it then you risk losing your sanity, no joke.

There are billions of women on this planet, many of which will be sweet to you and worship you from the beginning. Again, choosing this girl over them is indicative of what you believe you deserve. Misery, hardship, being hated and toyed with. Change this attitude and the rest will fall into place, just like it's been falling into place for the scarcity mindset you currently hold...

 

[justhe_justin]

what you guys think is the best move forward without dropping the nuke and just ignore her ?

If she's blowing you, keep her around while pursuing other chicks. Otherwise she's wasting your time and you could be happier with another option and doesn't play childish games.

If she likes you, why pretend that she doesn't? She's making things unnecessarily difficult. If she's playing games like this now, what mind games will she play in marriage?

Fking psycho.

 

[Bigpapa]

@Bigpapa this chick gets off to you thinking so hard about how to game her. If she read this thread she'd probably start dripping through her panties at the thought of how much of your time she's wasting.

What does she have to do in order for you to pass and never talk to her again? What if she calls you a name? What if she lies to you constantly? What if she hits you? What if she steals from you? These are the questions she's asking herself. This is the game you're letting her play. And every time you come back after one of these offenses she loses a bit more respect for you. By coming back you're confirming that you believe this is normal, that this is how you deserve to be treated. Do you understand?

If she never reaches out to you first then your social credit with her is in the red. She most likely resents you for not standing up for yourself and feels she's doing the right thing by being a biitch, to teach you a lesson.

Like any investment, be it monetary, emotional, whatever, there are many many times when it's much smarter to cut losses, regroup, refine, and try again on other terms, in other scenarios, with other people.




Would you cut off your nuts for her if she asked? I mean that's included in 'everything possible' isn't it? What is your price?

By thinking without a price in mind you're saying that your time is best spent on how to game this toxic biitchy girl. Do you really think your career or your body or independent skills are not worth your time? Because that's what you're doing, you're consciously choosing to invest in the skill of 'attracting a biitchy girl that treats me like shiit'. Do you see?

At this point you're identifying with her treatment pretty heavily.

A man has principles that he sticks to with conviction. He doesn't hesitate, he's not on the fence, he has a price where he gets out and stays out.

You need to determine how far you're going to let this go, how much precious time you're prepared to invest in this endeavor, then hold yourself accountable when it comes time to exit. If you don't set your price and stick to it then you risk losing your sanity, no joke.

There are billions of women on this planet, many of which will be sweet to you and worship you from the beginning. Again, choosing this girl over them is indicative of what you believe you deserve. Misery, hardship, being hated and toyed with. Change this attitude and the rest will fall into place, just like it's been falling into place for the scarcity mindset you currently hold...

fair point and totally agree with what you are saying

by doing everything possible , I was just referring that I am up to do whatever it takes game wise to try to convert her , as usually this is the way I learn most things when I go through hardships . But this only if I can maintain my manhood and be sexy . Anything else is out of the question

I was just saying that it would be stupid to leave a lead only because it is not an easy ride with her , as the hard to get game she is playing i kinda find it amusing . The only thing that makes me confused is that nothing worked 100% so far , and I was just curious if there are other strategies that can be used when dealing with girls like

I game other girls in the meantime so I am not focused on this particular lead that much , but I would lie if I would say that I will not get a big ego boost if I will convert her .

But if really there is no other strategy that can work in this situation , maybe there indeed is nothing that I can do and should cut my losses .

But again , things that I can do without loosing respect , manhood , etc , as loosing something on this side is just not worth it no matter how hot a woman is

 

[bcude]

You say she's playing hard to get, then i ask you. Why play this game with her?

I never really showed that I am affected by this behavior and every time she started behaving this way I just back down and gave her room . Then I would reengage her after a couple of weeks and she would be super warm again .

You start out great but then you cave in and reach out, this is where you go wrong. You're teaching her that she can play this b1tchy game since you have shown that you still come back when she withdraws so she knows she can continue with this 'game' in all eternity. What you should do is to 'punish' her by withdrawing your attention.

Go completely ghost and force her to act.
That way you'll know if she's really interested in you or just interested in wasting your time. Very simple, but you're invested in her so you probably think that you will lose her if you don't act. Which is a fallacy. It's a way to value your time, by doing that others will value it too and in the process you'll be seen as more attractive to women.

so after this behavior that spanned over a couple of weeks I said that maybe she has a big ego and just wants to be sure that I really like her , so decided to get in touch with her .

This is what most guys say after a breakup, they have this strong want to reach out because they've the girl on a pedestal and want her back, so they look everywhere for allowance to do it. Giving her a big ego is one way to give yourself permission to break the silence. Now you're aware of it which makes it easier to stay stronger and cut through her BS.

 

[Bigpapa]

If she's blowing you, keep her around while pursuing other chicks. Otherwise she's wasting your time and you could be happier with another option and doesn't play childish games.

If she likes you, why pretend that she doesn't? She's making things unnecessarily difficult. If she's playing games like this now, what mind games will she play in marriage?

Fking psycho.

I just want to bang her , I really doubt that women like this are relationship material haha

 

[Bigpapa]

You say she's playing hard to get, then i ask you. Why play this game with her?

You start out great but then you cave in and reach out, this is where you go wrong. You're teaching her that she can play this b1tchy game since you have shown that you still come back when she withdraws so she knows she can continue with this 'game' in all eternity. What you should do is to 'punish' her by withdrawing your attention.

Go completely ghost and force her to act.
That way you'll know if she's really interested in you or just interested in wasting your time. Very simple, but you're invested in her so you probably think that you will lose her if you don't act. Which is a fallacy. It's a way to value your time, by doing that others will value it too and in the process you'll be seen as more attractive to women.

This is what most guys say after a breakup, they have this strong want to reach out because they've the girl on a pedestal and want her back, so they look everywhere for allowance to do it. Giving her a big ego is one way to give yourself permission to break the silence. Now you're aware of it which makes it easier to stay stronger and cut through her BS.

the problem is that till now nothing really worked 100% . Some things worked till a point , and then things reverted back to her playing this game , even something similar to what you said

but I guess that I will have to enforce this option more next time , but would like to do it only as a last resort , and not because I care about loosing her , but because this is the option that takes the most time to convert a girl if it works . I just try to find the least time consuming strategies for conversion

 

[darksprezzatura]

If both the sides use a dating strategy, it's a stalemate. Yet.

See most obstacles as sh!t test, and practice.

Outcome independence ftw.

Soon enough you'll see patterns.

Every time you pass/fail a sh!t test, you'll reflect and get better.

You'll be oozing confidence.

You aren't just focused on sleeping w her.

You're using the interaction to get better for future sets in different situations.

If she sleeps with you, meh, great.

Doesn't matter.

Every girl and her shenanigans are practice.

Act accordingly.

#next

 

[dude99]

Nope , this is why I am here to see exactly what other people think about the situation , and see if there is any other options that I have not considered . If you aren't getting what you want out of this, then stop wasting your time. Like i stated in an earlier message, if you pull away and then re-engage and you wind up back in the same position as before, then she is deliberately wasting your time.

I think that it is a shame to give up without trying to do everything possible . This is how you grow , when you do not give up easily Picking at an empty plate over and over and over will still bear no fruit. You don't grow by hitting the same dead end over and over and over. You grow when you know learn from your mistakes and you recognize when it is time to cut your losses and walk away.

Right now I am using something that in theory sounds that might be a way to lower down the walls , and this is to friendzone her while keeping a sexy vibe . By this I am trying to make her chase me , something that only happened till an extent when used different methods to make her chase me
I agree with friendzoning her. She deserves it. But don't use it hoping to change her mind for her to suddenly see the light and she will chase you. You need to give her the message she blew it, you have moved on and she is no longer on your radar. How do you do that? You date other women and show her you have zero time for her moving forward. Even if she reaches out ever again you are too busy for her.

See comments in bold.

 

[soulforge]

What you are seeing is this-- her warm behaviour is an act. An act she feels she needs to put on to keep you on the string. This warm act keeps you orbiting her. She knows she can still use you.

When she goes Biatchy, you are getting a look at the real her. Read that again. The biatch is the real her. Even if you do manage to date her i tell you, you will be sorry in about 6 months.

If she is trying to draw you in and make you do all the work then she see's you as a source of entertainment. A validator. An orbiter. She see's you as something to toy with.

When it comes to chicks you only need to ask your self one question. "Am i getting what i want?"

What you want is relative and it differs from guy to guy, but if you aren't getting what you want then you are wasting your time and effort on the wrong girl.

Go 100% zero contact. Ignore. Delete. Next. Go focus on other women.

From this moment forward make her do 100% of the work. Make her put in 100% of the effort while you go date other women.

This post is absolutely spot on.. Are you really getting what you want of her? If not, the don't waste your fukin time!

I have had a similar situation where this girl was stringing my around a little and a couple of flakes.

All I wanted was another ******* off her, which I got this morning... So time to cut these wacko loose..

 

[Bigpapa]

Good point @Mauser96 , but in the case I was explaining is not about this as I kept a manly and attractive vibe and told her that is a biatch when she was crossing the line .

I wrote the post as I thought that people went through something similar and managed to make the conversion without using the nuke . This is more as a last resort move , where you drop everything and wait her to reinitiate contact

 

[Black Widow Void]

Your actions (or lack thereof) will be responsible for your outcome.

Don't like her hot and cold behavior?

When she's cold, you eject.
When she's warm, you disengage (you look at your smart phone etc...)
When she's hot, you give her attention.

You decide what you chose to 'reward' or 'punish. ' And, this will provide you a better outcome.

 

[Bigpapa]

Let me add, that this type of behavior is strongly indicative of an AW - and more disturbingly, of NPD/BPD.

Ask me how I know....

The hard way for sure

I was thinking exactly about that today , but guess that I never encountered such a person so also a part of me is quite curious if she is crazy or not , so I know next time from first hand experience how to be able to tell fast If someone is crazy .

 

[Bigpapa]

*** Update ***

had a more hearty Discussion with her and apparently this is how she is , moody .

so I am cutting all communication with her , and let her come to me and accept only the good behavior and punish severely the bad one .

apprently the nuke usually is the best solution for this kind of situations