Old plate/love interest reached out

[bcude]

Three years ago we started talking again and we met up like twice or so, had s3x both times from what I can remember. We were supposed to meet up again after that but she kept getting “busy” with the three jobs she had. She was always saying she was exhausted. I became annoyed and didn’t like the flakiness. I ended up sending a long text wishing her well. She never responded.

“Hi flowtheory, tomorrow afternoon is not going to work for me to walk with you at *forest location* I’m sorry. I have now too many things to complete that I need to prioritize. Would you be interested in moving our walk to next week?”

Agree and let her do all the planning?

There's this saying. A person will continue to waste your time as long as you let them. People don't change much (in meaningful ways).

Nah. I am quite detached from it. Made the thread because I don’t know if it goes against my self value or respect to open the door for her again. Was looking for perspectives on it.
I came to the conclusion that it would impinge upon my self-respect if I didn’t feel good about it at all, but still went. Or if I allowed her to violate my boundaries again and continue with it.

I see where you're coming from. For me personally, if i've to ask someone for advice and stray away from my head and gut. I know from experience that it wasn't an ideal situation where my boundaries were crossed and self-respect taken a hit.

It's your call but whatever you do, don't expect her to by ANY different from a couple of years ago. She will be "busy" and re-arrange alot.
I see the benefit of some casual sex after a serious relationship has ended, just be sure to invest zero effort.

 

[Lookatu]

This makes me want to just go ghost, cause I can barely be bothered with any hiccups.. she sent this about 45 mins ago:

“Hi flowtheory, tomorrow afternoon is not going to work for me to walk with you at *forest location* I’m sorry. I have now too many things to complete that I need to prioritize. Would you be interested in moving our walk to next week?”

Agree and let her do all the planning?

Oh hell no. Let me get this straight. She reached out to you and setup the date and now she wants to move it? She's got better options it seems like and you are the bench warmer. When she says she has too many things to complete(whether true or not), she has just demoted you to a lower priority.

I would respond with a "no, not interested in moving to next week". Tell her your time is valuable and you already carved out a chunk of time to be with her this week. You can't show any flexibility with her or she'll continue using that to her advantage. My $.02

 

[flowtheory]

Oh hell no. Let me get this straight. She reached out to you and setup the date and now she wants to move it? She's got better options it seems like and you are the bench warmer. When she says she has too many things to complete(whether true or not), she has just demoted you to a lower priority.

I would respond with a "no, not interested in moving to next week". Tell her your time is valuable and you already carved out a chunk of time to be with her this week. You can't show any flexibility with her or she'll continue using that to her advantage. My $.02

Yea I caught that wording in the text too..
it’s like she’s trying to get me thirsty for her and trying to get the game going. But I’m not going to bite. I haven’t decided if I’m going to even respond.
I might just say “sure” and let her do everything. I literally won’t do a thing. So I don’t have much to lose if I proceed that it won’t even happen.

 

[andreihaha]

Yea I caught that wording in the text too..
it’s like she’s trying to get me thirsty for her and trying to get the game going. But I’m not going to bite. I haven’t decided if I’m going to even respond.
I might just say “sure” and let her do everything. I literally won’t do a thing. So I don’t have much to lose if I proceed that it won’t even happen.

"I thought you couldn't wait to see me. fine."
And then you forget about her. Just my 2 cents.

 

[flowtheory]

"I thought you couldn't wait to see me. fine."
And then you forget about her. Just my 2 cents.

I get the vibe you’re sending with that text. But it reads a little insecure. Like what a woman would text.

My options are either

a) “Sure” - and literally no attempts at planning; she has to do 100% of it. I just agree.

or

B) ghost. And never talk to her again in my life

 

[Bigpapa]

In cases like this always let her invest more first into the interaction without agreeing or proposing to see each other

then after you see that she is indeed warm , agree or propose to see each other .

rgis way you are sure that she really wants to see you rather than you are entertaining her because maybe she was bored when she contacted you in the first Place

 

[flowtheory]

"sure" AND NOTHING MORE.

And don't contact her again. She must do 100% of the effort now, and work with your schedule.

If she contacts you for time wasting idle chit chat ignore for a few hours then just respond "hey I am really jammed up right now, juts let me know when you are free to get together". Repeat that ad nauseum.

Exactly what my plan has been with the “sure.“

I’ll use the latter suggestion too. She hasn’t planned anything yet. And I don’t care.

This is how it stands

Her: Her reschedule message for next week
Me: Sure
Her: Thank you ( with a Thank You sticker)