Advice on dating a cheater

[metalwater]

Your lucky, you figured it out now instead of later. thank god...

there is nothing/NOTHING you can do to make it better for you. also nothing she can do. you don't have perfect proof, what you have told is enough circumstantial evidence to convict. EVEN if she was not guilty (and she is) you will NEVER believe it. This girl is not your final LTR in life.

If you take a new .. tinder every week it is shared.. If this one gives you extra value and you can get your head straight about enjoy the sex then FWB. Tell her anything you like or she wants to hear. Why would you care, she doesn't. Protect ALL of your personal information/accounts/anything of value/ so that she can not get to it in any way. Trust is not just one category it is all category.

If you desire a loyal woman, you now have more information about what/how to see. This one is not it, no matter what you do or she does you will always remember and she does not care. Understand her mind does not work like yours, not even close. Really understand that you are not dealing with someone like yourself that is a girl.. it is something different. Protect and take care of yourself FIRST. If some woman wants to win your trust/TRUST/T.R.U.S.T they have to do much better than this thing did.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

they all do it brother, thats no big deal, its a brainwash to make you believe you have a ''good one'' , if she really respects him or had a healthy attraction for him.
she wouldnt sneak behind his back on exclusive terms . imo. he can still keep her around for sex and cooking and cleaning because the driving 3.5 hours means high interest but for some reason she cant be loyal , i just wouldnt expect too much more than sex cooking and cleaning.

She might be a prostitute back home and has that guy she likes. She treats him like that to feel good and normal.

 

[sid77]

Your lucky, you figured it out now instead of later. thank god...

there is nothing/NOTHING you can do to make it better for you. also nothing she can do. you don't have perfect proof, what you have told is enough circumstantial evidence to convict. EVEN if she was not guilty (and she is) you will NEVER believe it. This girl is not your final LTR in life.

If you take a new .. tinder every week it is shared.. If this one gives you extra value and you can get your head straight about enjoy the sex then FWB. Tell her anything you like or she wants to hear. Why would you care, she doesn't. Protect ALL of your personal information/accounts/anything of value/ so that she can not get to it in any way. Trust is not just one category it is all category.

If you desire a loyal woman, you now have more information about what/how to see. This one is not it, no matter what you do or she does you will always remember and she does not care. Understand her mind does not work like yours, not even close. Really understand that you are not dealing with someone like yourself that is a girl.. it is something different. Protect and take care of yourself FIRST. If some woman wants to win your trust/TRUST/T.R.U.S.T they have to do much better than this thing did.

This nails it.

 

[sid77]

Its nauseating hearing her pronouncing her love, wanting me to move in with her and rent out my place, marry me...etc. Im starting to think she might have an addiction to sex or something. or just a very low self worth that needs constant stroking. She was in a 17 year marriage from an early ish age and was either cheating the entire time with that dude or wasnt and is now making up for it. Idk, just Fed up.

Obviously plate status at the very most. Kick her down the road if I get tired of looking at her face the next time Im railing her.

 

[metalwater]

Its nauseating hearing her pronouncing her love, wanting me to move in with her and rent out my place, marry me...etc. Im starting to think she might have an addiction to sex or something. or just a very low self worth that needs constant stroking. She was in a 17 year marriage from an early ish age and was either cheating the entire time with that dude or wasnt and is now making up for it. Idk, just Fed up.

Obviously plate status at the very most. Kick her down the road if I get tired of looking at her face the next time Im railing her.

if you find out that you can not keep the feeling away, then better to next then ask this same question later.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

OP, I sense you crossed the line with this girl and let your emotions take hold of you. It sounds like you are trying to be careful to not let that out in the open here but my sense is that you wouldn’t be putting this much time and effort into this discussion if it weren’t true.
The advice from others about treating her as a FB is great but that ONLY applies if you haven’t already allowed your emotions to run wild and it seems to me to be too late for that. I’ve been there myself so I know.

In this situation, you have to cut her off. It’s not easy but is much better that way. You will also learn from this experience to avoid developing feelings for a girl so quickly in the future.

 

[sid77]

OP, I sense you crossed the line with this girl and let your emotions take hold of you. It sounds like you are trying to be careful to not let that out in the open here but my sense is that you wouldn’t be putting this much time and effort into this discussion if it weren’t true.
The advice from others about treating her as a FB is great but that ONLY applies if you haven’t already allowed your emotions to run wild and it seems to me to be too late for that. I’ve been there myself so I know.

In this situation, you have to cut her off. It’s not easy but is much better that way. You will also learn from this experience to avoid developing feelings for a girl so quickly in the future.

Youre 100% correct about the attachment status. Thats what Im trying to axe. Its an ebb and flow. Sometimes I feel like np. Ill just have her around and be fake and F her the whole week she's here. Not my personality type to be fake but Ill adjust. and tbh I dont have the time to be actively dating a bunch of plates anyway. She could be my weekly release. Would be perfect...but I just need to master my emotions. Funny I always get attached to slutty women....lol.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Thats what Im trying to axe.

You may be different from me in this regard, but what I have learned through trial and error is that once I caught feelings and saw a girl as a prize, something to catch, keep, or provide me with something I was missing from my life (unhealthy), at that moment I had passed the point of no return and there was no going back to FWB with that specific girl. I could try to go through the motions of shifting her to a plate, sure, but it was like an unhealthy drug addiction, consuming far too much mental energy and time and I found in some ways I was self-justifying things I knew I shouldn’t do but did anyway because those feelings were there. Again, that was me - might be different for you, but in my case I woke up one day disgusted with myself for being this girl’s plate and even though I was still very attracted to her and desired her, I broke it off and moved on. It was the right decision, I learned my lesson, and I’ve never let it happen since. And that has served me very well with all the girls I have dated since then.

Only you know if you can truly plate her. Just be honest with yourself because it is you who will bear the consequence, and generally the longer you go, the worse it will be for you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Its nauseating hearing her pronouncing her love, wanting me to move in with her and rent out my place, marry me...etc. Im starting to think she might have an addiction to sex or something. or just a very low self worth that needs constant stroking. She was in a 17 year marriage from an early ish age and was either cheating the entire time with that dude or wasnt and is now making up for it. Idk, just Fed up.

Obviously plate status at the very most. Kick her down the road if I get tired of looking at her face the next time Im railing her.

When they start these double and triple lives they get really fvcked up in the head.

When a man “makes love” to a woman because he feels things, he is on the road to failure. Now that you know what she is, next time hammer that bytch down and thoroughly use her for pleasure.

A woman has a man all figured out when he “makes love” to her. This accesses her protection, safety, resources side of her dualistic sexual strategy. You are headed to cuck land. You are a long term option but it doesn’t satisfy her primal sexual desires so she will continue to see men who will.

This is also a death nail for the man. He will access his LTR chemicals and will make him sink deeper into his biology and get him to cuck land. I know it sounds counter intuitive. Men have been socially conditioned to think that women are sacred and precious. This evokes the “make love” expression.

You can do it occasionally when you can tell she’s down. It does work. But go right back to fukking her mindless. A woman will not let the “make love” guy talk filthy to her in passion. But the other guys? She knows she’s their slvt. You can make love to her or you can be her breeder. I’m sorry to say that you can’t be both.

You can and should switch up between "making love" and fvckkng the sh1t outta her.

 

[sid77]

I really appreciate all your guys input. Helps me to see more clearly and realize my assessment of it is pretty universal.

 

[sid77]

When they start these double and triple lives they get really fvcked up in the head.

No doubt! Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[7onriverI f]

When they start these double and triple lives they get really fvcked up in the head.
You can and should switch up between "making love" and fvckkng the sh1t outta her.

My version of making love is getting of on the fact that the girl is giving me a handjob or I have my dik between her big boobs.
Still thinking about unprotected blowys and whether thats worth it to go for.

 

[bat soup]

I need some advice! Ive been dating a woman 'exclusively' for 6 months. Turns out she's been playing around with other men the entire time. Shes a great F and doesnt demand too much of my time and drives 3.5 hours every other week to spend a week at my place. She helps out with cleaning and laundry etc. Crazy I know. Should I confront her about what I found out or just let her keep doing her thing and I start dating other women on the side? Seems like an obvious answer but Im pissed and hurt by the betrayal and want to tell her to go F herself.

Don't bring it up until you get tired of banging her. Meanwhile, take the opportunity to find a few other girls to bang when she's not around.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Its nauseating hearing her pronouncing her love, wanting me to move in with her and rent out my place, marry me...etc. Im starting to think she might have an addiction to sex or something. or just a very low self worth that needs constant stroking. She was in a 17 year marriage from an early ish age and was either cheating the entire time with that dude or wasnt and is now making up for it. Idk, just Fed up.

Obviously plate status at the very most. Kick her down the road if I get tired of looking at her face the next time Im railing her.

But you won't OP...because men who would kick her down the road don't get into exclusive relationships with women who live 3.5 hours away after a month.

 

[sid77]

But you won't OP...because men who would kick her down the road don't get into exclusive relationships with women who live 3.5 hours away after a month.

I wont kick her down the road? Well the odds increase significantly if Im banging a few others. Options definitely blunt the attachment. I hear ya tho. Ups and downs.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Allowing yourself to be a plate is fine, but she knows there needs to be a emotional attachment and she'll test it by doing **** like she has done here, women don't build trust just to let it sit idle and unused, she'll push the boundaries and limits using your trust, then make you feel like a ****.

If she wants commitment, what she really wants is for you to fall under the illusion of it, so she can have a rock to build her self esteem from after getting rejected by higher value men.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Allowing yourself to be a plate is fine, but she knows there needs to be a emotional attachment and she'll test it by doing **** like she has done here, women don't build trust just to let it sit idle and unused, she'll push the boundaries and limits using your trust, then make you feel like a ****.

If she wants commitment, what she really wants is for you to fall under the illusion of it, so she can have a rock to build her self esteem from after getting rejected by higher value men.

By what she perceived to be "higher value" men. People see it differently.

 

[sid77]

Allowing yourself to be a plate is fine, but she knows there needs to be a emotional attachment and she'll test it by doing **** like she has done here, women don't build trust just to let it sit idle and unused, she'll push the boundaries and limits using your trust, then make you feel like a ****.

If she wants commitment, what she really wants is for you to fall under the illusion of it, so she can have a rock to build her self esteem from after getting rejected by higher value men.

Yeah, its totally F ed up what women like this do.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

a bunch of flags.
1. We met online and before we met in person would sext thru whatsapp. She pretty much just used the chatting function there to sext with me. Well fast forward til after we decide to get exclusive. Her online personal profile would light up as active....then her whatsapp would light up as online. Odd. This would happen only when she was back at her place. I asked her if she was seeing other people and of course the answer "no baby, Im not that type of person..blah blah blah." I never revealed why I suspected, just that there were red flags. Well her profile and whatsapp would go dark for a few weeks, then gradually light back up again.

2. This is a good one. I was working when she was at my place and she said she was gonna run some errands and be back later in the day. I was home when she got back and she wasnt wearing a bra or panties under her leggings and tanktop. I initially asked if she was wearing any before she left sarcastically. She said its just so comfortable sometimes to not wear any...ok whatever. I then noticed some little vials of lube in her purse. I asked what those were and why in her purse. Apparently she orders the empty vials on amazon and filled them with lube for 'on the go'??? Well we had never used lube from them or had any in her purse before. She said just in case we needed any later. Later that night when having sex I noticed she was pretty raw and complaining how sore she was. Crazy. Well this past weekend I noticed an empty little vial in her cup holder in her car. Its pretty clear id say.

Well, if you didn't already know, she apparently likes anal.

I would fvck her in the ass and then pull it out and make her suck it...see how much nasty stuff you can get her to do. Your goal should be to use this chick to make all your wildest fantasies come true.

Also, this may sound stupid but some women only consider it cheating if they allow a guy to fvck their pvssy...

Kissing, BJs and anal don't constitute cheating in their eyes.

 

[sid77]

Well, if you didn't already know, she apparently likes anal.

I would fvck her in the ass and then pull it out and make her suck it...see how much nasty stuff you can get her to do. Your goal should be to use this chick to make all your wildest fantasies come true.

Also, this may sound stupid but some women only consider it cheating if they allow a guy to fvck their pvssy...

Kissing, BJs and anal don't constitute cheating in their eyes.

hahah....thats last part is hilarious! True Im guess tho.

Yeah, shes a fun chick when it comes to sex. Totally right tho...use it up. Play all lovey and ride that train until I get bored or she gets in the way of someone else. Yeah, she digs anal and to be managed