How to respond to women who cancel you last minute.

[Warpal]

Just like the title says. I'm experiencing it often and gets me realy frustrated. Women dont have any principles. penny for your thoughts?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In MOST instances(not all), your behavior prior to the date is what leads to a cancellation. I am willing to bet you go ghost until the day of the date after setting it up?

If so that's your biggest issue in my opinion.

So this thread should be about how to prevent this behavior from occurring in your instance instead of how to respond to it, IMHO, because that is where you biggest challenge lies if this is a frequent occurrence.

My flake rate is somewhere like 1 in 20 or 1 in 30.

 

[darksprezzatura]

If a woman cancels on me last minute:

- Offers reschedule due to an emergency only + apology, is understandable

- No reschedule, dumb reason like "something came up" = block and throw away number, no response

My time is my most precious commodity, you waste it when I'm gracious enough to offer it, you're done.

 

[Camus37]

You need to keep it warm right up until the day of the date. Try not to arrange dates too far in advance - ideally the same or next day. If you have to arrange it in advance keep a light, flirtatious rapport going throughout. #1 reason for flakes is ghosting once the plans are in place, as has been pointed out to you already.

If a woman cancels on me once and it's not super-last minute - i.e. when I've already left my house, in which case I usually just ignore her - then I'll typically give her one more chance. However, if she does it again she's done.

I never react or get butthurt when this happens (it's rare at this point) because I don't care and it's pointless. I even keep flakes on instagram because I've had instances of them hitting me back up randomly at a later date wanting to hang out after watching my stories. I then make them come to a bar right next to my house (zero effort on my part) and have got laid quite a few times with these girls who suddenly reappear. Yeah, it's kind've rewarding bad behaviour I guess, but getting laid was ultimately more satisfying than the short-term gratification of calling her out. It is what it is.

 

[Mike32ct]

I hate when they SCHEDULE at the last minute. "Want to meet for dinner tonight in a half hour?" lol

Back on topic, I'll forgive one cancel for anybody and any reason. Two is a no-go unless you are some LTR/family/close buddy.

 

[Warpal]

In MOST instances(not all), your behavior prior to the date is what leads to a cancellation. I am willing to bet you go ghost until the day of the date after setting it up?

If so that's your biggest issue in my opinion.

So this thread should be about how to prevent this behavior from occurring in your instance instead of how to respond to it, IMHO, because that is where you biggest challenge lies if this is a frequent occurrence.

My flake rate is somewhere like 1 in 20 or 1 in 30.

Hmm seems about right. I keep thinking, im the prize, work for me. Not a good tactic in the beginning i supose

 

[In2theGame]

Just like the title says. I'm experiencing it often and gets me realy frustrated. Women dont have any principles. penny for your thoughts?

"Ok, no problem hun" - You need to have the attitude of "You are one of many" so cancelling on you is her loss, not yours. This is why you need a bullpen of attractive Women.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Don't ignore her because that will make you seem butthurt, let her reschedule and if she doesn't you next her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hmm seems about right. I keep thinking, im the prize, work for me. Not a good tactic in the beginning i supose

Well, apparently some people can pull this off, I never could. I used to have tons of flakes until I started keeping in touch with them...does not need to be anything major, just a text or two a day...if they initiate even better...

Just be fun, interesting...no boring convos...ask them fun questions(look up fun questions to ask girls on google if you get stuck), banter a bit...

I have always found out of site out of mind with OLD. They believe you aren't interested.

 

[bcude]

1) If they just flat out cancel and don't try to re-schedule, i take that as low interest and move on. I'm sure you can 'keep her warm' with entertaining conversations to set up another date where she might be bored that day/no better options/in another mood and more receptive, but i tend to think an abundance mindset is better for my dignity, time and success with women in general so i next them completely at that point.
1b.) If they later hit you up again, they have lost their chance for a regular date so they at most get an invite straight home for drinks (Kudos Glassguy).
2) They cancel but try to re-schedule. This means it's still on but they only get X amounts of tries of canceling like this before she gets too complicated in my mind, where X is personal preference (2 or 3 a good number). Some girls are a pain in the a$$ and will continue to waste your time like this as long as you let them.

Women flake alot but if it happens all of the time you might want to look at your behavior and change approach somewhat. As long as you don't come off as boring it shouldn't be an issue on your end.

 

[In2theGame]

The way a guy responds/reacts determines if he may see that chick again and how she perceives him. When I was literally flooded with Women, I truly did not care if I saw the girl ever again. Even if I truly initially wanted to see her. It wasn't an act but a genuine attitude of abundance. Women have a 6th sense for this and they somehow know if you are a true playboy with other Women or just putting up a front of not caring and this somehow intrigues them if it's genuine.

If a girl canceled on me, even if it wasn't last minute, I would respond with "Ok, no problem hun" or "Ok, no problem. Hit me up when you're free" and then proceed to delete the number. I would have 3 to 5 other Women willing to see/hang out with me.

Either a few days later or week later, I would get a text saying "Heyy" and my genuine response was "Hey, sorry who's this?". I didn't have time to worry about the girl that canceled on me because i was too busy with others. Some of the best "Heyy!" texts were the ones i received while I was literally fvcking another girl.

 

[Lookatu]

I agree. if she cancels without good reason and doesn't offer to reschedule then NEXT.

However I find it extremely rude, not because she cancelled but the fact that they wait until last minute. If they cancel early on, it gives you a chance to make other plans.

What's worked for me on last minute cancels is to take that energy and use it to do further self improvement like workout so the next gal will get that much luckier when she meets me. It's a good and productive use of time.

 

[Roober]

"okay"

A woman who cancels on you last minute has

a) no respect for your time, and

b) questionable interest

I would only go on a date afterwards if she reaches out to reschedule and passes the sniff test (e.g. is legitimately disappointed or sorry). I certainly agree with others that you need to keep the fire warm a bit during the time between scheduling the date and the date itself.

@Glassguy is brilliant at handling this and managing to keep interest. During dating, this was usually a "next" for me

 

[RickTheToad]

In MOST instances(not all), your behavior prior to the date is what leads to a cancellation. I am willing to bet you go ghost until the day of the date after setting it up?

If so that's your biggest issue in my opinion.

So this thread should be about how to prevent this behavior from occurring in your instance instead of how to respond to it, IMHO, because that is where you biggest challenge lies if this is a frequent occurrence.

My flake rate is somewhere like 1 in 20 or 1 in 30.

I've never reached out after setting up the first meet. They've reached out to me to confirm, but my offering to meet up with her IS MY confirmation. I also usually only setup a date a few days in advance. I think I've only had one cancel the day of because she was "sick" never heard from her again. Oh well.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Well what you do is get revenge by scheduling a date, then cancelling on her, that'll teach her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've never reached out after setting up the first meet. They've reached out to me to confirm, but my offering to meet up with her IS MY confirmation. I also usually only setup a date a few days in advance. I think I've only had one cancel the day of because she was "sick" never heard from her again. Oh well.

I often times set up dates a week in advance...sometimes more depending on what is going on. Usually it's because I already have something scheduled for other days.

Everyone has methods that work for them. I tried to follow that and all it got me was a 30-40% flake rate. Now my flake rate might be 1-2%

 

[BeExcellent]

I think “No problem honey” is best. Or “Ok cool”, or “Cool. That actually works out great ” Then fall silent & go find something else to do.

It conveys acknowledgment and DGAF and as an added bonus she might wonder what your nonchalant ass was up to after all.

Glassguy’s method is good but will not work necessarily with the most top tier (most sought after) women with tons of options. I get and agree with the philosophy behind it...but when you book a date with some guy who is an unknown quantity (you’ve not met yet) and a couple days later a man you really have an interest in asks you out? Often the unknown quantity gets dropped for the known quantity and that’s dating. I agree if you get to 2 or 3 flakes then yes, low interest, but just bear in mind if a woman is very desirable to you, she is very desirable to others as well. I’ve done it. So the ecosystem she is in and her level of comfort can come into play very early on.

Guru used to advocate double booking for this reason...and then be the guy flaking on one of the double booked dates if both stayed on the line. That’s a power move that worked well for him. I’ve seen a couple of guys I know do it. It gets the girl’s wheels spinning to higher interest if done smoothly.

As far as scheduling and how far in advance you’ll have to gauge that with your schedule and the woman in question. If you are juggling parenting then typically more notice is better. I already have plans next week for Weds., Fri., and Sat. That only leaves Tuesday and Thursday open...but I tend to stay booked between friends, dates, and social engagements, kids stuff, etc.

I get invited to happy hour essentially on the daily...and if I’m not booked on a weekend night then I’ll have various girlfriends, guy friends etc. wanting to get together. A new man asking me out under those circumstances (short notice on a weekend night) is not going to get much traction. I’ve already got too many people vying for my attention...

But if the same man asks me out before my social circle starts blowing me up then I’ll reserve the night for a date....

So just keep in mind popular people are, well, popular...proceed accordingly.

Cheers

 

[BadBoy89]

I never react or get butthurt when this happens (it's rare at this point) because I don't care and it's pointless.

I think “No problem honey” is best. Or “Ok cool”, or “Cool. That actually works out great ” Then fall silent & go find something else to do.

It conveys acknowledgment and DGAF and as an added bonus she might wonder what your nonchalant ass was up to after all.

This is one area of Sosuave I think everyone is TOO nice. I would rip the girl to shreds if she cancels at the last minute. A man plans a date, is looking forward to it, dresses up a bit, makes reservations, and the girl cancels.

And the answer is not to get hurt or “no problem”? She tells her friends ‘hey that guy over there, you can cancel on him he doesn’t even care, doesn’t know his left hand from his right.”

I would say “Why the hell did you waste my time? Get out of my face.” I wouldn’t shrug it off. I’d fire back with a vengeance. Especially some girl who has is not a virgin several times over.

She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

Come on men, grow a pair.

 

[Charm2K]

Just like the title says. I'm experiencing it often and gets me realy frustrated. Women dont have any principles. penny for your thoughts?

You dont , you pick up yours phone and erase her number. Thats it.

 

[Romanemp22]

You don't.