How to move up from a 5/6?

[user252009]

I'm dating a girl for 2 months that's a 5 (in looks) / 8 (in personality), but I'm not super attracted to her - I'm dating her as I have no other (read: better) options right now. What would be a good next step? OLD I'm not getting any attention or date chances, and I never did in person approaching anyways.

 

[FairShake]

This might not apply YET but you are nearing the age where an 8 in personality is more important than an 8 in looks.

But if you're looking to level up in a partner you probably need to either level up yourself or put yourself out there and meet new people.

 

[user252009]

This might not apply YET but you are nearing the age where an 8 in personality is more important than an 8 in looks.

But if you're looking to level up in a partner you probably need to either level up yourself or put yourself out there and meet new people.

Well, personality's importance is going up as I'm mid-30's, but of course I still want an attractive girl. I've always been able to get decent women and I look equal or even a bit better than how I used to, but it seems to be getting harder to get women to even go out for a drink. 7/8 and up, that is.

 

[Romanemp22]

Don't ever be with someone out of pity or misery. You need to be totally fine and happy with or without having a girl in your life. Also, if you're not attracted to her, how do you even have a boner with her? Its hard to have a forceful one with a girl you don't like.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm dating a girl for 2 months that's a 5 (in looks) / 8 (in personality), but I'm not super attracted to her - I'm dating her as I have no other (read: better) options right now. What would be a good next step? OLD I'm not getting any attention or date chances, and I never did in person approaching anyways.

Work on getting more women and better options by whatever methods you have at your disposal. As they would say in the Mandalorian, "This is the way."

 

[Black Widow Void]

One problem I have with the mentality of some forum members (and the mentality of many men over all in general) is their self-worth measuring scale.
What I mean is.... they do not feel personally valid or validated among their peers... unless they "date up" as opposed to seeing someone with whom they mesh.

I get it. We've all been in a position and said something like "yeah, but she makes up for it by _____ (insert peer approval attribute).

In the end though, it's been my experience that ... if the gal doesn't make you (mostly) happy, then all you've done is 'dated up' but you're still feeling a lack of contentment.

Back to your question....

If your social stature means a lot to you, then
dress fashionably
keep eye to eye contact, never look away first (which is a good rule in general)
If in any social environment, you leave first and always leave when you are at your finest moment (this leaves a great impression and leaves them wanting more).
Be a good listener.
Never voice an opinion that gives the impression that you're looking for affirmation.
When others do, show your approval sparingly.

The above are just a few tips. When men show additional respect toward you, women notice and become intrigued.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't ever be with someone out of pity or misery. You need to be totally fine and happy with or without having a girl in your life. Also, if you're not attracted to her, how do you even have a boner with her? Its hard to have a forceful one with a girl you don't like.

What will teach him is an 8 that treats him like trash. He will learn what's important.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What will teach him is an 8 that treats him like trash. He will learn what's important.

Yes...to me, honestly I typically am good with a 6.5-7 chick that is in shape, nice body, cute face and has a fun personality and good energy that leads to amazing sex that is into me way more than an 8 or 9 who isn't that into me and has personality deficits.

I guess once I get to a "cute enough" in regards to looks, increasing looks are like a point of diminishing returns and other factors become much more important to me. But that is just me...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes...to me, honestly I typically am good with a 6.5-7 chick that is in shape, nice body, cute face and has a fun personality and good energy that leads to amazing sex that is into me way more than an 8 or 9 who isn't that into me and has personality deficits.

I guess once I get to a "cute enough" in regards to looks, increasing looks are like a point of diminishing returns and other factors become much more important to me. But that is just me...

Butter faces with nice bodies have always been a better deal in my life. Can the girl get into fitness to have the physical side covered?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Butter faces with nice bodies have always been a better deal in my life. Can the girl get into fitness to have the physical side covered?

To me a butter face is a 3 or a 4 not a 6.5-7. Those are women that are cute/girl next door kind of good looking to me versus objectively hot. I can't go for a 3 or a 4 even with a nice body...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

To me a butter face is a 3 or a 4 not a 6.5-7. Those are women that are cute/girl next door kind of good looking to me versus objectively hot. I can't go for a 3 or a 4 even with a nice body...

Not sure a banging body will have 3 or 4 face... Her face might look normal, not pretty but her body is fine as hell.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not sure a banging body will have 3 or 4 face... Her face might look normal, not pretty but her body is fine as hell.

I have seen a few...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have seen a few...

Look at her body when you fvcking.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Look at her body when you fvcking.

Lmao...I wouldn't ever go for a 3 or 4 so that would never happen hahaha

 

[Romanemp22]

Beauty is in the eye of beholder.. What someone consider a 3 or 4,other one consider a 6.Tastes are different.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Lmao...I wouldn't ever go for a 3 or 4 so that would never happen hahaha

A good personality starts to look finer and finer the more you interact

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A good personality starts to look finer and finer the more you interact

Yeah but everyone has their base limit physical attraction to want to bang and mine is probably a 5

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah but everyone has their base limit physical attraction to want to bang and mine is probably a 5

True. Its not fair to you and definitely not fair to her.

 

[Kotaix]

You could always just lie on OLD to get more attention. That's what it's for. But women who don't use OLD are better quality than those who do, and less damaged.

How to interact with women you don't know?
When you look at a strange woman you like, you should allow a genuine smile of appreciation to cross your face. You MUST allow your natural expression to come thru and not censor yourself trying to protect your ego. If a woman is receptive she will smile back at you while looking you in the eye, and that's all it takes.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You could always just lie on OLD to get more attention. That's what it's for. But women who don't use OLD are better quality than those who do, and less damaged.

How to interact with women you don't know?
When you look at a strange woman you like, you should allow a genuine smile of appreciation to cross your face. You MUST allow your natural expression to come thru and not censor yourself trying to protect your ego. If a woman is receptive she will smile back at you while looking you in the eye, and that's all it takes.

Based on what? What percentage of woman aren't on OLD these days? It's extraordinarily low. I see people touting these things as if there is some scientific proof when really it's just opinion and likely largely based off someone else's opinion rather than their own.

OLD is simply a way to meet people you would have otherwise never met. Nothing more, nothing less.

People trying to assign some psychological difference or other differences are simply projecting their own thoughts and logic into it whether or not there is any basis in reality for it.

Sorry, I don't buy this huge difference in quality argument. Don't see it. I think guys who find this to be the case simply allow themselves to settle for low quality women on OLD instead of nexting and continuing to go on dates until you find what you want. So I don't think there is any difference in quality overall, simply guys unwilling to walk away from something they have already invested some time and energy in whereas they would easily walk away in person.

Too many guys that will settle for a woman that gives them sex and put up with whatever else. For every GF(NOT plates) I have gotten off OLD I probably have gone on 30-40 dates.

And so the issue is more that it is harder to screen out women you don't want on OLD versus in person NOT that they are lower quality. Because you already would have screened some of these women out in person that you go on dates with on OLD. That's the problem with having more options tho....you have more to sift through and less ability to screen. You just have to not lower your standards and make a GF out of someone that should only be a plate.