Online dating apps?

[Skunstar]

Hi
I am quiet new in this. Recently i decided to use apps to help me with meeting new girls due to covid going out is nearly impossible. After 2 weeks of using (tinder, badoo, bumble and happen) I literally got nothing. I read how to optimize profiles to be more attrsctive etc. Hard for me to judge my own appearance but anyways i thought its going to be easier.
Do you have any tips or similar experiences?
I live in UK

 

[Skunstar]

To be honest i am not looking for serious relationship there but i get your point. So whats your idea on how to meet new women when everything is closed?

 

[derby1]

To be honest i am not looking for serious relationship there but i get your point. So whats your idea on how to meet new women when everything is closed?

use the time to improve your SMV, in the mean time stay sharp by charming cashiers etc

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Agree the better women aren’t on OLD. I’m not, for example. Huge time sink.

Do something you enjoy. I am a Latin dancer...but I always wanted to learn tango. So I am taking tango twice a week, private lessons...my salsa has become incredibly good, my Bachata improved, and the tango is coming right along. Once the clubs and venues open I will be refined in my salsa/bachata and ready to go with tango. Plus it’s good exercise.

Volunteer, take a class or lesson in something you enjoy, do meet ups, find ways to improve yourself and enjoy yourself that involves a social element. Play softball, pick up futbol, anything.

Go do stuff. Be social while doing stuff. The pandemic hasn’t slowed me down at all really...my break up over the summer slowed me down much more, frankly.

Make doing things a priority. Things you enjoy. And do them.

 

[SW15]

You're better off not using apps. It is only worth being on apps if you're in the top 10% of men.

If you're in the UK and in London, street game is often a decent option. Street approaching works best in busy cities with high pedestrian activity. The London Daygame Model originated in the streets of London. A lot of European cities are good for street approaching.

A lot of United States cities are not ideal for street approaching. New York City and Chicago are probably among the best for doing street approaching. There are subgenres of street approaching in certain U.S. cities that are more more viable. San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, and Tampa have beach approaching as a viable option nearly year round. In winter months, Phoenix and Tucson are good for outdoor hiking path approaches. I'm not necessarily recommending living in any of those cities, but residents of those cities have those options. Approaching in parks can work and on some walking paths can work in a lot in U.S. cities even without a culture of a busy area with high pedestrian activity.

The pandemic has made a difficult situation with a bad mating environment even worse. The epidemiology of the COVID-19 disease is about as bad as it can get from that perspective. With HIV/AIDS, most of the risk for heterosexuals could be mitigated from using condoms, not having anal sex with women, and not injecting drugs. With COVID, we don't know the long term implications from getting it. Although most people under 50 will handle it well, it is still possible for long term issues to arise. This has made everything worse from a dating perspective. Non-marital, non-cohabitating relationships are strained, more people are in more transient relationships now than ever, married people are having a difficult go of it despite their advantages.

Every form of in-person approaching is more difficult now. The bars are a mess even if they are open. It's difficult to do masked approaches at grocery stores. Malls are in bad shape. Outdoor approaches are best, but physical distancing hysteria can affect them.

Whatever you do, stay away from apps.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

I tried (free) Bumble last year for a few weeks.
I figured that if the woman has to send the first message, than at least there's an initial interest from her.

Quite a few 'likes' the first couple of days, then it slowed down - and even though the free account meant I only saw a blurred-out pic, they did come up fairly quickly when swiping, and the blurred pic was enough to ID the ones who had 'liked' me.
Most I swiped left - Those that appeared 'OK' or better, I matched.

Oh, and I didn't go on swiping sprees - just a 20min session the first night so that the app knew I was active - And when I got a like, I swiped until she came up on screen (using the filters was useful to narrow down the numbers when searching for her)

I didn't bother with long messaging convos... just asked to meet within the first 3 messages, and went for an afternoon coffee date to assess potential.
Of the 4 I met up with...
2 dates were a bit 'meh' and went no further
1 ended up in the bedroom on 2nd date, after a meal then a beach walk.
And one lasted a few months... including a week long vacation where we rarely left our room.

So: TLDR:
Short experience for me - Only 1 app - Mixed success rate.
Deliberate tactic - I did NOT engage on the app for more than a few messages with each 'bite'.
Use the filters to avoid wasting time.

 

[Lookatu]

I realize during Covid and depending on where you live, it may not always be realistic or feasible to meet girls out and about.

I've been doing OLD one and off for a few years now. Although you can find all sorts of advice here, I'll highlight the main ones so you can either try it or decide it isn't for you.

Pics are everything - Find good angles and lighting. Have a variety of pics. Use something like photofeeler.com to see how others think of you for a test audience.

Fill in some clever profile as to get your point across but don't write a book. This can also pre-screen your potential matches too if done right.

Screen carefully - figure out when someone has low interest, is a scammer or bot, or is yanking your chain early on as possible.

After matching - don't text forever but try to text with establishing a meetup first and foremost once some level of comfort is established.

Lastly, realize that 60-70% of OLD are guys with only 30-35% are girls. The remaining being scammers/bots.

Realize also that most of the dating apps are run by board members that are mostly female. As such, they are built with the female agenda in mind and also extracting cash resources from desperate guys. They are purposely engineered so guys get the low end of the stick, even if you are good looking.

Often times, guys get around various algorithms by deleting and creating new accounts from time to time to give them a fresh new boost and exposure.

One app that doesn't work like the others is Hinge. You might wanna try that one depending on if it's popular in your area or not. This one is different as it only allow limited likes per day by both sides. This often counteracts the Paradox of Choice theory which is more conducive in matching with someone. Once matched, you have to make sure you're on top of your game to convert that into a meetup.

Good luck

 

[Skunstar]

I tried (free) Bumble last year for a few weeks.
I figured that if the woman has to send the first message, than at least there's an initial interest from her.

Quite a few 'likes' the first couple of days, then it slowed down - and even though the free account meant I only saw a blurred-out pic, they did come up fairly quickly when swiping, and the blurred pic was enough to ID the ones who had 'liked' me.
Most I swiped left - Those that appeared 'OK' or better, I matched.

Oh, and I didn't go on swiping sprees - just a 20min session the first night so that the app knew I was active - And when I got a like, I swiped until she came up on screen (using the filters was useful to narrow down the numbers when searching for her)

I didn't bother with long messaging convos... just asked to meet within the first 3 messages, and went for an afternoon coffee date to assess potential.
Of the 4 I met up with...
2 dates were a bit 'meh' and went no further
1 ended up in the bedroom on 2nd date, after a meal then a beach walk.
And one lasted a few months... including a week long vacation where we rarely left our room.

So: TLDR:
Short experience for me - Only 1 app - Mixed success rate.
Deliberate tactic - I did NOT engage on the app for more than a few messages with each 'bite'.
Use the filters to avoid wasting time.

What filters should i use?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Agree the better women aren’t on OLD. I’m not, for example.

That's because you get bombarded with a hundred messages a day from creepy and often married guys asking yo u dtf? as their initial charming hello. I have never been on bumble but i think they are the one who makes the woman message first. On other sites, attractive women often hide their profiles to accomplish the same result. So just skimming through search results does not always tell the full story of who is present.

Most guys on here will fail at old, because one look at their profile gives the impression they are a sad, lonely guy who can't get a girl and is trying way too hard. The opposite is what works, giving the impression that the guy does not need this at all, is having fun with his life already anyway instead of looking for someone to "make" him happy, and occasionally runs into girls with whom he shares the good times.

 

[BeExcellent]

That's because you get bombarded with a hundred messages a day from creepy and often married guys asking yo u dtf? as their initial charming hello. I have never been on bumble but i think they are the one who makes the woman message first. On other sites, attractive women often hide their profiles to accomplish the same result. So just skimming through search results does not always tell the full story of who is present.

Most guys on here will fail at old, because one look at their profile gives the impression they are a sad, lonely guy who can't get a girl and is trying way too hard. The opposite is what works, giving the impression that the guy does not need this at all, is having fun with his life already anyway instead of looking for someone to "make" him happy, and occasionally runs into girls with whom he shares the good times.

I agree 100%. I got on OLD for like a day or so a couple different times. Too much time involved creating a profile, looking at profiles, weeding out people...then the men I find attractive are the ones with so many options that I get lost in the shuffle just as the men who like me get lost in the shuffle on my end.

I also found when I first got back into dating, that I would be disappointed upon meeting up with a man from OLD (I did meet up with a few) that he was usually shorter and less attractive than his photos. While the men were usually blown away that I was better looking in person than in photos...(always been that way), and then they would get nervous and blow themselves out any way.

I became great friends with one guy (first guy I ever met off OLD), but he is shorter than I find attractive...and interestingly the best man I ever met online was through Craigslist back when they had personals. I had an ad looking for a platonic dance partner to go out with. He was exactly what I look for in a man across the board...and we ended up dating for 18 months. Best first date ever.

Craigslist allowed you to cut the BS and just be direct about everything. I know you met some cool women through it @Bible_Belt and I met a fantastic man. We were each other’s respective first real relationships post marriage, interestingly enough. We still are friendly and sporadically keep in touch.

But real life is so much easier and better. When I was on OLD I was in a small town. Now I base in a major metro. Night & day difference. No need for OLD whatsoever now.

Waxing poetic over here. Cheers

 

[Skunstar]

What is the OLD?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Not sure if this is an option in the UK, but I'd recommend "meetup."

Pick a hobby etc... that you find interesting. Look at the members that are attending and if you see one of interest, join in.

I belong to a couple of philosophy groups. I don't score upon every meeting, but my return hasn't been bad either.
Personally, I consider it a "win/win." I enjoy being around like-minded people and if I build a rapport with an attractive and interesting girl, it's a nice bonus.

Give it shot. You have nothing to lose.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

What filters should i use?

Use the demographics filters... for age, distance, kids, smokers, etc...

If you're using Bumble for free.... When you get a like, you'll see a blurred-out version of her profile pic with no details - and no option to swipe.
If she falls outside your filter limit, she will disappear as a 'like', so I would use the age filters to narrow her down.
At the time I was 55, so I had my age filter set for age range about 30-50 IIRC - and lets say for example I got a like from a woman aged 42...
First I narrow the range to say... 30-40 - she disappears, so I know she is between 41 and 50
Then I go 41-45 - She would re-appear, so I now know she is in that range.
So I go halfway again... say 41-43 - She's still there, so now I start dropping the upper limit by 1 at a time:
42... Still there...
41... Gone, so I know she is 42
Now I just go to the swiping section, with as narrow a range as Bumble allows - IIRC the limit was 4 years at the time, so I would just start swiping through profiles - with the age-range set for 40-44, and look for a profile pic, age 42, which matches the blurred out image... Colour of clothes and hair, maybe an outdoor pic with greenery... etc...
She will usually come up within a few swipes. It's quite easy to match the profile pic to blurry pic.

Saves a lot of time wasted by swiping randomly.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Hi
I am quiet new in this. Recently i decided to use apps to help me with meeting new girls due to covid going out is nearly impossible. After 2 weeks of using (tinder, badoo, bumble and happen) I literally got nothing. I read how to optimize profiles to be more attrsctive etc. Hard for me to judge my own appearance but anyways i thought its going to be easier.
Do you have any tips or similar experiences?
I live in UK

If you are an average guy, 2 weeks isn't ****. you premature ejaculators want everything fast.. i was the same way.. it takes time to develop a tinder profile.. 2 weeks in and you're barely a needle in a haystack dude. more like a single needle in hundreds of haystacks.

now, there are paid options where it can boost you up.. and most guys use those for success.. and if u still dont find anything, dont blame the app. like i said it takse time, andthere are algorithms.. alot of idiots swipe right on every girl.. all that does is disqualify you completely and they push you to the back where all the other horny losers are

 

[Martim Azevedo Sousa]

I used the Dating USA app for a while and made a lot of friends

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have used OLD almost exclusively in the past 5 years and do great.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi All,Be Excellent has a great point on Latin Dancing,I do most styles but over the last 12 Years have concentrated on Argentine Tango,a very tough Dance for Males but after a few years the pay off is incredibly rich,like shooting Ducks in a barrel!

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There are great women on OLD. 40% of couples meet on OLD. I got two great GFs out of OLD. OLD isn’t for everyone. If it doesn’t work for you, move on and try something else. But no reason to slam women who do use OLD.

 

[BMX]

Workout. Take care of yourself. Pad your bank account before the BREXIT sh t storm. Learn, do, see. I'm not one to discourage sitting this one out. I was living in the UK just like you when this sh!t broke out.

You all have a horrifying pandemic of female flattened pancake-a ss syndrome, humongous eyebrows, terrible fashion sense straight out of 1980, the teeth, the fact that they do not wash their a sses every single day, the holier-than-thou syndrome, crippling (read: glorified) alcoholism, Vitamin D-deficient weather, on and on. I passed hardcore to preserve my dignity. Catch a cheap flight over to the continent if you still can and get some better quality tang.

 

[bat soup]

Hi
I am quiet new in this. Recently i decided to use apps to help me with meeting new girls due to covid going out is nearly impossible. After 2 weeks of using (tinder, badoo, bumble and happen) I literally got nothing. I read how to optimize profiles to be more attrsctive etc. Hard for me to judge my own appearance but anyways i thought its going to be easier.
Do you have any tips or similar experiences?
I live in UK

You need to lower your expectations. If you go looking for food in a dumpster behind a KFC, would you expect a tasty meal?