Marriage advice

[Ricky]

Found a focus for November.. I tried this a few years ago but didnt get far.. Can't think of a better time than now to do it. Write a novel in november.

NaNoWriMo

nanowrimo.org

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Resolve to make changes. She is definitely chatting up with a dude that her friend(s) have been with and she has met. As long as she is focused on that guy, she does not listen to or feel or anything good about OP. She turned off sex because she is in her mind with chat boy. All that chat is filling her emotional (mental) needs and also for attention. She is unavailable for OP right now. Almost anything he will do will only hurt him and strengthen her and chat boy.

Where did you get she's chatting up a dude that her friend(s) have been with and she met? I re-read the thread didn't see that one. But it IS HOT.... Women love to gossip with their gf's. And they do in effect end up passing guys around for them to gossip about...

I do agree 110% while she is focused enough on talking to this guy, enough to the point of allowing arguments to happen in the house. Focused enough for her to start neglecting you and looking at you in a negative light, that you CANNOT interface with her in a romantic husband aspect. The other guy is in that part of her imagination. The more you try to romance her, or try to get sex, or try to argue against the guy, the more she will double down, and the greater valuation of him in her mind.

You're in a really tough position, and you are not the first. Most men from this position are going to have their masculinity, confidence, self respect,sexuality ALL ERODED, and most will never recover... Being reduced into a powerless cuck position who serves to support her, while she carries on this lifestyle of talking and being with other men.

The language thing is a huge deal and something that is super hard to keep any type of frame in this situation. If OP does not care, and that being the advice usually then he never even asks this question. He does care, he wants his wife to respect and love(admire) him. There are three ways chat boy ends. 1, OP exposes something about it that is shameful. 2, OP gets mutch more attractive by being on his purpose and perhaps some other RP things. Frankly, this just doesn't happen if she is focused on chat boy because those channels to her are blocked. 3, something happens between her and chat boy to end it (huge list of possibilities), this is the usual way.

Culture. Relatability. Novelty. Newness. Our guy is in a really tough position. His azz isn't even 1/10th kicked as it can be if he LETS the situation BEAT him.

Right now there is a little demon in his mind like a hamster, but an evil hamster. The issue is that the hamster can be right. This is a terrible and painful situation. One way to BREAK the deadlock in the mind is to internalize what it is that she is doing for what it is. Chatting up another guy in front of you at the same time criticize and ignore us is a really painful situation, it causes us to question our self, our worth, if we are a man, all bad things. The players that never develop a family because they are so strong, would of course have already next.

Yes players would've left or put her at the bottom of the list. I want you to see one thing... We ALL are players and participators in life... So he's forced to up his game as a PLAYER.

I suggested him hanging with single friends, and for the moment live as a single. He can learn her language on his own if he wishes. I wouldn't share any of my development with her. It's best that's all surprises and new mysteries.

If he ended up with new conversations with women, in church, in the social group, in his hobbies, it's sort of a fair game. And he should be a social guy regardless. It's good for you and it's attractive.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Found a focus for November.. I tried this a few years ago but didnt get far.. Can't think of a better time than now to do it. Write a novel in november.

NaNoWriMo

nanowrimo.org

This is great and you should start tonight... Romance starts in yourself. You are still going to have to do some things outside the house with other people. Your not going to get around that for this situation.

 

[metalwater]

Yes players would've left or put her at the bottom of the list. I want you to see one thing... We ALL are players and participators in life... So he's forced to up his game as a PLAYER.

I suggested him hanging with single friends, and for the moment live as a single. He can learn her language on his own if he wishes. I wouldn't share any of my development with her. It's best that's all surprises and new mysteries.

If he ended up with new conversations with women, in church, in the social group, in his hobbies, it's sort of a fair game. And he should be a social guy regardless. It's good for you and it's attractive.

Yes to this ALL, times a thousand. reality.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ricky as this convo continued you got weaker. Take it from me you literally cannot talk about it. Refrain out of discipline even here. Start talking about the action your taking. When you pursue s path that's exciting for you you will start to fall in love with it. Your gonna have to socialize and build juicy and energetic connections.

 

[Ricky]

By not talking about it you mean pause the topic with friends and everyone else...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

By not talking about it you mean pause the topic with friends and everyone else...

Yes. Not a fvcking word here and especially in real life. . Your mindspace will be replaced with empowering thoughts of what YOU are doing and the adventures in your life.

Fitness REALLY helps. But you are going to need strong connections to talk to of your own.

 

[Ricky]

Ok mrgoodstuff.... mission accepted

Will start working on the novel. Wife is 42... devoted to staying together for her kid... this pen pal **** will end and if anything i will have a couple covert girlfriends to talk to myself now. Already have one woman i am super close with. Her bad behavior will turn around when she notices i am alpha again and i literally dont give a f$&k

Just bought one of Rollo tomassi book and am feeling better already

 

[ThisIsSparta]

i will have a couple covert girlfriends to talk to myself now. Already have one woman i am super close with. Her bad behavior will turn around when she notices i am alpha again and i literally dont give a f$&k

Just bought one of Rollo tomassi book and am feeling better already

Thats the spirit!

 

[Ricky]

Off work this week. Went out a couple times randomly to call a buddy of mine and buy a few things. She asked where i've been. I said "getting things done"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Off work this week. Went out a couple times randomly to call a buddy of mine and buy a few things. She asked where i've been. I said "getting things done"

Flirt sexually if they go there. Verbal communication restores alot mentally.

 

[Ricky]

Flirt sexually if they go there. Verbal communication restores alot mentally.

You mean flirt with her friends or my wife? The talk has been alot more cordial with my wife the last few days so i'm enjoying the peace instead of arguing.

For reference i like to tell people a story of the month before she moved to the United States. Apparently she lived with her aunt and they had an argument over something (forget what).. in any event the two didn't talk for an entire month before she moved here. It shows what level of emotional coolness i have to deal with.

Two of her girlfriends have made statements that make me wonder if this is all an elaborate revenge prank. One girlfriend said "You're getting a taste of your own medicine" and the other thought she might be "teaching me a lesson". This all refers to my past when she caught me chatting and the fact that as a former pickup artist i'm a big flirt....

Got a couple pages in on my novel so feeling good i am getting the writing started.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You mean flirt with her friends or my wife? The talk has been alot more cordial with my wife the last few days so i'm enjoying the peace instead of arguing.

For reference i like to tell people a story of the month before she moved to the United States. Apparently she lived with her aunt and they had an argument over something (forget what).. in any event the two didn't talk for an entire month before she moved here. It shows what level of emotional coolness i have to deal with.

Two of her girlfriends have made statements that make me wonder if this is all an elaborate revenge prank. One girlfriend said "You're getting a taste of your own medicine" and the other thought she might be "teaching me a lesson". This all refers to my past when she caught me chatting and the fact that as a former pickup artist i'm a big flirt....

Got a couple pages in on my novel so feeling good i am getting the writing started.

Friends. If they flirt flirt back. I'd be minimizing wife communication.

 

[Epimanes]

I been in your shoes.... got the Tshirt. 25yrs together flushed ..... no amount of whining... spying.. complaing... fighting... stomping.. jealous rages will get you anywhere you want to be. So dont be that guy.... especially in front of your kid.

Of course divorce is off the table.... your the breadwinner... she wants her cake and eat it too. Stop the jealousy.... focus on YOU and your KID. Period. When u get home from work.... your job is as much time with your kid as you can... and find time for a work out.

Say NOTHING to your wife when you do this... just do it. Stop talking and start doing. As long as your not hurting your family with your actions or attitude... just do it. Your wife has no say... your the man. Period. Especially if she isnt bringing in any money.

Now.... her talkin to other men is a huge red flag... women fall in love from conversation... so.... shes breaking boundries. You cant stop her.... thats on her... but u can make yourself more attractive to other women ... and be overt about it. Playfully...but dont go cheating that will wreck everything and paint you the badguy... ya gotta play it cool.

You can casually tell her you dont appreciate her disrespect of the marriage and leave it at that..... and then focus on ur kid.... without her. Dont reward her for shyty behavior.... if she wants your attention she should earn it.... your the prize... not her... mens sex rank go up as they age (think George clooney etc) ... womens declines...

Take your kid out to the park.... play with her in her room... have tea parties... put ur phone down.. be the example for your daughter. Shes watching... your wife will be too.

If you can gather incriminating evidence in her msgs or convos with the other men.. do it carefully and quietly. Dont get angry or upset or u tip ur hand. No point in gettin jealous of what you know nothing about... once you got the goods... then you are faced with a choice.. tell her to smarten up or your leaving with the kid. Then she will need to get a job and get off her ass.... likley have no more time to talk to other men if shes workin....

Maybe she needs to get a job if she doesnt have one.....


Focus on you .. get more attractive. Focus on your kid... build the best darn relationship with her/him as you can..... everything else time will tell.... steer your ship man... stop puttin up with her BS. If you dont lash out or get angry then she will have nothing on you to take your kid away with. Then you can work a case to leave her if shes not keepin her end of the bargain for the marriage.

In my case... i built such a good relationship with my kids..when my ex and i split they chose me.

Oh.. marriage therapy wont do a darn thing. Just man up.... stop listening to her BS ... words words words..... blah blah blah..and start payin more attention to her actions. And reward them accordingly....

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I been in your shoes.... got the Tshirt. 25yrs together flushed ..... no amount of whining... spying.. complaing... fighting... stomping.. jealous rages will get you anywhere you want to be. So dont be that guy.... especially in front of your kid.

Of course divorce is off the table.... your the breadwinner... she wants her cake and eat it too. Stop the jealousy.... focus on YOU and your KID. Period. When u get home from work.... your job is as much time with your kid as you can... and find time for a work out.

Say NOTHING to your wife when you do this... just do it. Stop talking and start doing. As long as your not hurting your family with your actions or attitude... just do it. Your wife has no say... your the man. Period. Especially if she isnt bringing in any money.

Now.... her talkin to other men is a huge red flag... women fall in love from conversation... so.... shes breaking boundries. You cant stop her.... thats on her... but u can make yourself more attractive to other women ... and be overt about it. Playfully...but dont go cheating that will wreck everything and paint you the badguy... ya gotta play it cool.

You can casually tell her you dont appreciate her disrespect of the marriage and leave it at that..... and then focus on ur kid.... without her. Dont reward her for shyty behavior.... if she wants your attention she should earn it.... your the prize... not her... mens sex rank go up as they age (think George clooney etc) ... womens declines...

Take your kid out to the park.... play with her in her room... have tea parties... put ur phone down.. be the example for your daughter. Shes watching... your wife will be too.

If you can gather incriminating evidence in her msgs or convos with the other men.. do it carefully and quietly. Dont get angry or upset or u tip ur hand. No point in gettin jealous of what you know nothing about... once you got the goods... then you are faced with a choice.. tell her to smarten up or your leaving with the kid. Then she will need to get a job and get off her ass.... likley have no more time to talk to other men if shes workin....

Maybe she needs to get a job if she doesnt have one.....


Focus on you .. get more attractive. Focus on your kid... build the best darn relationship with her/him as you can..... everything else time will tell.... steer your ship man... stop puttin up with her BS. If you dont lash out or get angry then she will have nothing on you to take your kid away with. Then you can work a case to leave her if shes not keepin her end of the bargain for the marriage.

In my case... i built such a good relationship with my kids..when my ex and i split they chose me.

Oh.. marriage therapy wont do a darn thing. Just man up.... stop listening to her BS ... words words words..... blah blah blah..and start payin more attention to her actions. And reward them accordingly....

Did you get back to sex in your situation and get her to shut down her side actions?

 

[Epimanes]

Did you get back to sex in your situation and get her to shut down her side actions?

Sorta for a while.... then she claimed i coherenced her and that it was rape (said all this after we split cuz she was having sex she didnt want) even tho she consented at the time ... she then kicked me out.. even tho i did everything every book said to do.... became aloof... spent all the time i could with my kid (one was adult so she was always busy anyways).... i told her to go ahead and charge me then.... cuz i could prove it was all consentual... and a month later after our split her man she was "just friends with" was at her place for a month after flying in to go see her.....

I did the pook think... marriage builders... married man sex life... marriage counseling.... i did it all.... if her mind is set theres nothin u can do.... thats on her so you just gotta be your best self and the rest is on her...

1yr later my kids figured out i was the better parent and they asked me to get a bigger place for them to come live with me and my soon to be ex moved to quebec to be with her "friend" cuz her kids "abandoned her so she might as well just go"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sorta for a while.... then she claimed i coherenced her and that it was rape (said all this after we split cuz she was having sex she didnt want) even tho she consented at the time ... she then kicked me out.. even tho i did everything every book said to do.... became aloof... spent all the time i could with my kid (one was adult so she was always busy anyways).... i told her to go ahead and charge me then.... cuz i could prove it was all consentual... and a month later after our split her man she was "just friends with" was at her place for a month after flying in to go see her.....

I did the pook think... marriage builders... married man sex life... marriage counseling.... i did it all.... if her mind is set theres nothin u can do.... thats on her so you just gotta be your best self and the rest is on her...

1yr later my kids figured out i was the better parent and they asked me to get a bigger place for them to come live with me and my soon to be ex moved to quebec to be with her "friend" cuz her kids "abandoned her so she might as well just go"

Thats crazy...

 

[Epimanes]

Funny thing.... im datin the other woman i had a crush on that my ex used to be jealous of in grade 10 when we met.... haven't seen her on 23yrs... hot af... i was tryin so hard to get a gf... dated several.... lots actually... then i gave up.. did my own thing and this woman who my ex used to be jealous of just appeared in my life.... im more fit than i have ever been and happier than ever now.. gettin more sex in a month than i did in a year with ex... with my new gf.

 

[Epimanes]

Ex now pays me child support lol.... she is also a bit off put by the fact im datin my other highschool crush 23yrs later.... her loss... i couldn't give a fuk anymore

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sorta for a while.... then she claimed i coherenced her and that it was rape (said all this after we split cuz she was having sex she didnt want) even tho she consented at the time ... she then kicked me out.. even tho i did everything every book said to do.... became aloof... spent all the time i could with my kid (one was adult so she was always busy anyways).... i told her to go ahead and charge me then.... cuz i could prove it was all consentual... and a month later after our split her man she was "just friends with" was at her place for a month after flying in to go see her.....

I did the pook think... marriage builders... married man sex life... marriage counseling.... i did it all.... if her mind is set theres nothin u can do.... thats on her so you just gotta be your best self and the rest is on her...

1yr later my kids figured out i was the better parent and they asked me to get a bigger place for them to come live with me and my soon to be ex moved to quebec to be with her "friend" cuz her kids "abandoned her so she might as well just go"

Wait, so your actions triggered her desire and got you back fvcking and after you split she realized it didn't fit her original agenda and this she said you "coerced" her and this it was "rape"? At least we know the strategies work. But afterwards she told on herself about her agendas so you have nothing to feel bad about ending that debacle.