Girlfriend told little lie

[sosumba]

Its just like a teen girls that tells her mom that she will sleep over at her girlfriends house while her girlfriend is out of town. We all know what she will be doing that night.

Usually, as by pure bad luck her phone battery "dies" same evening so she could not answer you the whole evening if you were to call.

 

[RangerMIke]

All women lie. My advice, get used to it or just go join a monastery. Ignore what she says, pay attention to what she does. The lie is nothing: the offense is everything.

 

[bat soup]

Take advantage of the opportunity to go and bang one of your side chicks.

 

[BJP1991]

We talked last night on the phone.

She was with her ex husband and his sister. She swore it has no impact on our relationship and what we have and that she didn’t tell me at first because she was worried I wouldn’t handle it well. That’s stupid because catching her lying about it feels 100x worse.

She said she would cancel her plans and come over today to talk. However when I texted her this morning asking what time so I can plan my day, no response.


Not gonna lie - this hurts pretty bad. I feel it all over my body like it’s toxic. I legitimately felt in love with her...

 

[backseatjuan]

I legitimately felt in love with her...

Ex husband and her sister without telling you. This is how much she values you. In actuallity she was with her new lover, fcking, while you were at home, feeling bad about yourself.

Find another woman.

This so called 'girlfriend' of yours, downgrade her to fck buddy, she does not have to know about it, just from now on no feelings towards her, she has to contact you, no talk about emotions, it's basic from now on, she comes to you, gets to sck your dck and leaves.

 

[Toddz]

We talked last night on the phone.

She was with her ex husband and his sister. She swore it has no impact on our relationship and what we have and that she didn’t tell me at first because she was worried I wouldn’t handle it well. That’s stupid because catching her lying about it feels 100x worse.

She said she would cancel her plans and come over today to talk. However when I texted her this morning asking what time so I can plan my day, no response.


Not gonna lie - this hurts pretty bad. I feel it all over my body like it’s toxic. I legitimately felt in love with her...

First, of all you've only been dating her for 5 months, so you aren't in love and it's simply lust. It takes 2-3 years to even get to know each other and why most relationships fail and fall apart around the 3 year mark.

Second, asking her what time she's coming over to talk in order to plan your day is you being submissive to her. You tell her what time your available to talk. I highlighted that so it stands out to you clear as day.

My approach to dating and relationships is totally different then most guys in that I totally don't care what she is doing when i'm not with her. Oh your going out with Jane, Bob, or Sam? great enjoy... All that stress and worry about what she's doing when you're not together is not worth it. She's not worth it. You're above her and treat her as such.

 

[Alvafe]

We talked last night on the phone.

She was with her ex husband and his sister. She swore it has no impact on our relationship and what we have and that she didn’t tell me at first because she was worried I wouldn’t handle it well. That’s stupid because catching her lying about it feels 100x worse.

She said she would cancel her plans and come over today to talk. However when I texted her this morning asking what time so I can plan my day, no response.


Not gonna lie - this hurts pretty bad. I feel it all over my body like it’s toxic. I legitimately felt in love with her...

don't matter she lied, woman wording disregard, check what she did, she lied and hide, she only "come open" because you caught her on her lie, you shouldn't waste time, move on, she is not trustworthy, and you don't date liers

on the bright side your "love" will be gone the moment you start to bang 2 diferent woman

 

[redskinsfan92]

We talked last night on the phone.

She was with her ex husband and his sister. She swore it has no impact on our relationship and what we have and that she didn’t tell me at first because she was worried I wouldn’t handle it well. That’s stupid because catching her lying about it feels 100x worse.

She said she would cancel her plans and come over today to talk. However when I texted her this morning asking what time so I can plan my day, no response.


Not gonna lie - this hurts pretty bad. I feel it all over my body like it’s toxic. I legitimately felt in love with her...

It's done
That is 100% unacceptable. You must end it and do so calmly

 

[Black Widow Void]

I'm sorry to read of your circumstance.
Although feelings aren't expressed a lot on this forum (lots of members are too busy attempting to look "cool") those of us with experience can empathize.

There is a good reason why some of us are suggesting to end it and without any contact toward her.
We've already traveled down that path.

I can't speak for others, but personally... its' like you want to rationalize things in hopes of having things go back to "normal" ie; "there were more good times than bad".... "maybe she had a legitimate reason that I don't understand" .... "If I stick around, it will get better this time" etc...

And then when it's over, you go from being sad to being mad.
It's then that you want to "put her in her place" ...
You call, but you get voicemail and leave a long message. Or... you are up late at night and type a long (very long) e-mail and get all the things off your chest.
At first, it feels good. It's out of your system and you gave her a piece of your mind.
If she responds, she'll paint you as the "bad guy" and she will be the (so-called) 'victim.' You'll then doubt yourself. And then all that relief you felt will be gone and misery will set in.
Or.... she will not respond at all.
You'll then begin to wonder why she hasn't responded. Suddenly, all that "power" you felt will diminish and you'll experience misery again.

Even with the above advice supplied, you may want to tell yourself that you'll beat the odds and that your situation "will be different. " Lots of us have been down that path as well. It never works. And then, we reflect back and wished that we'd followed the advice previously given.

I do not type the above predicted outcomes to project an image that I'm some "know it all."
Some of us on this forum are here because we hope that we can prevent someone else from going through the things that we have already experienced.

Best of luck, friend.

 

[7onriverI f]

jerk off onto her face and then tell her its over. tell her that her putang is too loose.

 

[redskinsfan92]

I'm sorry to read of your circumstance.
Although feelings aren't expressed a lot on this forum (lots of members are too busy attempting to look "cool") those of us with experience can empathize.

There is a good reason why some of us are suggesting to end it and without any contact toward her.
We've already traveled down that path.

I can't speak for others, but personally... its' like you want to rationalize things in hopes of having things go back to "normal" ie; "there were more good times than bad".... "maybe she had a legitimate reason that I don't understand" .... "If I stick around, it will get better this time" etc...

And then when it's over, you go from being sad to being mad.
It's then that you want to "put her in her place" ...
You call, but you get voicemail and leave a long message. Or... you are up late at night and type a long (very long) e-mail and get all the things off your chest.
At first, it feels good. It's out of your system and you gave her a piece of your mind.
If she responds, she'll paint you as the "bad guy" and she will be the (so-called) 'victim.' You'll then doubt yourself. And then all that relief you felt will be gone and misery will set in.
Or.... she will not respond at all.
You'll then begin to wonder why she hasn't responded. Suddenly, all that "power" you felt will diminish and you'll experience misery again.

Even with the above advice supplied, you may want to tell yourself that you'll beat the odds and that your situation "will be different. " Lots of us have been down that path as well. It never works. And then, we reflect back and wished that we'd followed the advice previously given.

I do not type the above predicted outcomes to project an image that I'm some "know it all."
Some of us on this forum are here because we hope that we can prevent someone else from going through the things that we have already experienced.

Best of luck, friend.

Same reason I've have warned so many on here that entered friendzone situations. I have been there. It was a dark place to be mentally. Extremely dangerous. Yet, many don't listen. Then you get BeExcellent on the threads blabbering about how she has male friends and how great it is. That women make good wingmen. All bs of course. Good rule of thumb. Never take advise from women. Surprised she isn't on this thread telling this guy it's his fault in a passive way.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

What do your instincts say?

This, you have all the info OP, although i suppose the creation of this thread shows you leaning on your instincts anyways.

 

[BJP1991]

She texted back complaining about having to cancel her plans to see one another and talk today - also kind of tried to spin it and play the victim in the situation.

I just told her that if she can give him the time of day and lie to me, but cant simply give me the time of day to talk about it (IN PERSON), that I would have no choice but to walk away. She said "Fine, BJP - walk".

I just said "Really? I know I deserve better" and she replied saying she she would call me later after an appointment she had.

I dont even expect a call from her. At this point I am going to stand firm on walking away and going full no contact.

There were other red flags, and I did recognize them. Today is just the last red flag and issue that I will tolerate.

I simply was not expecting to break up with her today, and when/if she calls, I will have to do it then. I dont like to be salty or say hurtful things, despite it being the way I feel. Any advice on the way I should handle this or what could be said? I was lied to, then she got mad about it, and is being way too difficult just to talk about it when I simply asked her to, or I would have to walk away.

 

[jaymbrs]

She texted back complaining about having to cancel her plans to see one another and talk today - also kind of tried to spin it and play the victim in the situation.

I just told her that if she can give him the time of day and lie to me, but cant simply give me the time of day to talk about it (IN PERSON), that I would have no choice but to walk away. She said "Fine, BJP - walk".

I just said "Really? I know I deserve better" and she replied saying she she would call me later after an appointment she had.

I dont even expect a call from her. At this point I am going to stand firm on walking away and going full no contact.

There were other red flags, and I did recognize them. Today is just the last red flag and issue that I will tolerate.

I simply was not expecting to break up with her today, and when/if she calls, I will have to do it then. I dont like to be salty or say hurtful things, despite it being the way I feel. Any advice on the way I should handle this or what could be said? I was lied to, then she got mad about it, and is being way too difficult just to talk about it when I simply asked her to, or I would have to walk away.

You have to reign in your emotions. Right now you feel betrayed and there's no worse feeling. But it's important you process all of this and understand she's trash and you HAVE to move on. She screwed up 3 different times, 1. she lied, 2. she's hanging out with her ex husband for whatever ****ing reason, and 3. she's now trying to play the victim (which every woman who gets caught does).

 

[BJP1991]

You have to reign in your emotions. Right now you feel betrayed and there's no worse feeling. But it's important you process all of this and understand she's trash and you HAVE to move on. She screwed up 3 different times, 1. she lied, 2. she's hanging out with her ex husband for whatever ****ing reason, and 3. she's now trying to play the victim (which every woman who gets caught does).

Understood, I am trying to tell myself this. What I am nervous/anxious about is what happens next. Nobody should have to go through this, and I know the way I'm being treated is really unacceptable. However I am having a hard time letting go mentally is all and getting myself into a frame of mind where I should just go start trying to meet new women and focus on other things in life like my career, gym, friends, passions. All of those aforementioned things I have been doing the entire time we are dating, minus meeting new women since she wanted to go exclusive.

What I dont understand is the extreme HOT/COLD with me. Literally the last time we hung out it was how she loved me so much and couldnt get enough of me and wanted my babies. Next thing I know shes lying to me about what shes doing/who she's with, then is being extremely selfish and victim-playing on me over it.

 

[2Rocky]

Simplest rule of an exclusive LDR. Never lie, cheat or steal to/on/from your partner.

If you feel like you have to lie to them you better examine why you are in a relationship with them.

OP in your case if she had a meeting with her ex she should be able to tell you that. And you should be able to make her feel like she can tell you anything. What in your history could have made her think you would react badly to her telling you?

 

[BJP1991]

Part of me wants to tell her off so so so badly. I know I need to resist that urge.

 

[Glassguy]

Part of me wants to tell her off so so so badly. I know I need to resist that urge.

Let me tell you something after reading this thread:
Sorry that you have to deal with this. It sucks. But 5 months in means you dont really know her like you think you do and its easy to be fooled. She lied and deceived you because in her mind, you are easily replaced. Her actions mean INSTANT dismissal. You know that. This is over. Put a fork in it. It's done.

Now the most important advice I can give you: there is no saving this relationship. The most important thing is to say "yeah I don't have anything to talk about so no reason coming over. I've decided to go a different direction. Take care ".

Then you block her number and delete her from all social media and start dating others.

You will move on without her. How is your choice. You can either demand answers or just grab your balls, delete her and move on like a boss.

I promise you that permanently ignoring her will feel GREAT. Self pride feels FVCKING AWESOME.
Now drop this liar.

FYI- she was fvcking someone when she was supposed to be with her friend. Maybe the ex, maybe not. Doesnt matter.

Be a man. Delete and go find a better one. That's your job now.

 

[Lookatu]

What I dont understand is the extreme HOT/COLD with me. Literally the last time we hung out it was how she loved me so much and couldnt get enough of me and wanted my babies. Next thing I know shes lying to me about what shes doing/who she's with, then is being extremely selfish and victim-playing on me over it.

Anytime there is hot/cold happening, just remember it's manipulation. She's using you for things when and what she wants out of it. There is no real love on her end or things would be more consistent. Remember this now and remember this later.

Even if she's thinking of breaking up with you, you're better off breaking up with her first. This really crushes their ego and makes them hamster.

I've heard from and witnessed several cases where the girl was thinking of breaking up with her bf but got salty when he initiated the breakup first. That's a good form of medicine for them IMO.

Do it today and don't look back on things and be glad it was only 5 mos out of your life and a learning lesson that didn't involve unwanted pregancy, std's, her sending you to the poor house, etc.

Don't sulk in the past but look to the future with your new found knowledge.

"Don't be sad it's over, be glad it happened. "

 

[Romanemp22]

She said she wasn’t sure what she was up to this evening and her friend “Jane” was actually in town this evening.

I happened to be friends with “Jane” on Facebook and saw she posted publicly that she would be at XYZ bar tonight working, which is not in town.

What should I do? I don’t suspect she’s lied before but I also don’t have all the details on it.

Op be aware of her future behaviour. Dont make some delusional assumptations just yet but open your eyes. If she was always good gf, her sudden lie could possibly mean there could be a bigger picture behind the whole thing.