Guilt got me

[Jameswhipps]

So been talking to this girl for about a month total. Hot, confident, high self esteem, femenine. But one thing, she has a very good relationship with her mum. Her mum has a very big influence on her in terms of navigating through life and she trusts her advice.

I’m high value myself in life, she was super keen on me too. Went on first date, ended up making out in bed, touching a bit, etc. kept saying she wants to go further but can’t (listens to mum) Stayed the night.

second date, made out in bed, etc. She came with a lingerie, got her fully naked, but she is still hesitant. I don’t like to be that guy who wants to “convince” and push too much (again, I have a feeling her mother set rules for her). I know she wants to go further but just can’t.

But I made this stupid mistake of mentioning I’m not looking for anything serious right now.

after this she sulks for a bit then we get back to exploring ourselves. Figured she’s ok with it? Stayed the night.

I call her a few days later and she says she is surprised I called her. basically very calmly proceeds to tell me what I said put her off and she’s not into it. She’s not that kind of girl.

I think what happened here is she went back, spoke to her mum and her mum obviously influenced her decision.

I haven’t contacted her for a week so far. what are your thoughts on this situation? Ofcourse id like to seal the deal but is this dead in the water?

 

[backseatjuan]

When she went back to her mum and spoke about the encounter with you in bed, did she told her you were soft or hard?

Assuming you are 'ok', I would whip my dck and stick it down her throat when she is in my bed.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I mean she wants something other than what you want. It's her right to tell you that. I don't understand why you would volunteer information like that. Did she specifically ask you?

Secondly, no woman should be staying the night unless you are getting what you want out of it. On top of that you sent her mixed messages because the only people who are spending the night should be women that are your GF or at least long term plate, and she was neither.

 

[Trojan3000]

So been talking to this girl for about a month total. Hot, confident, high self esteem, femenine. But one thing, she has a very good relationship with her mum. Her mum has a very big influence on her in terms of navigating through life and she trusts her advice.

I’m high value myself in life, she was super keen on me too. Went on first date, ended up making out in bed, touching a bit, etc. kept saying she wants to go further but can’t (listens to mum) Stayed the night.

second date, made out in bed, etc. She came with a lingerie, got her fully naked, but she is still hesitant. I don’t like to be that guy who wants to “convince” and push too much (again, I have a feeling her mother set rules for her). I know she wants to go further but just can’t.

But I made this stupid mistake of mentioning I’m not looking for anything serious right now.

after this she sulks for a bit then we get back to exploring ourselves. Figured she’s ok with it? Stayed the night.

I call her a few days later and she says she is surprised I called her. basically very calmly proceeds to tell me what I said put her off and she’s not into it. She’s not that kind of girl.

I think what happened here is she went back, spoke to her mum and her mum obviously influenced her decision.

I haven’t contacted her for a week so far. what are your thoughts on this situation? Ofcourse id like to seal the deal but is this dead in the water?

assumptions are assumptions man. she didnt need her mom to tell her sh!t. she made it clear she was turned off by that the moment you said it with her sulking a bit. i dont blame you man but i think she was just having last minute doubts about opening herself up to you right away. sounds like a good girl man. dont think u ruined ur chances.. just give it time, recoup, and have another stab at it, and make things right by taking her out on a date or something, and dont sleep with hera t the end of the night. show her u can be that guy. at the end of the day, the prize is always there. ull get it eventually.

 

[Serenity]

I'm of the opinion that being open about intentions before you end up in the bedroom will save you both time and drama. With some exceptions, you won't know if the girl is strictly looking for something serious or are ok with casual sex without communicating about it. If they hope for something serious you'll just leave a trail of disappointment if you fvck them and they find out that's all you wanted from them.

There's plenty of women out there who are fine with just casual sex, no need to be unclear about your intentions. I'd be more unclear and keep the suspense a bit if I was open for relationship, just to keep the exit open. If you know all you want is casual sex then signalling that will enable you to more efficiently filter who would be more fit as plates you can keep around for a while.

I'd say it's dead in the water. Her mother is an irrelevant factor in this, whether she influenced her daughter or not it will not change the fact that she wants more than you're offering.

 

[Jameswhipps]

Yea guys. The replies here is what I figured. I was grasping at straws really. It’s a shame but it is what it is unfortunately.

I volunteered the info without her asking because I sensed she doesn’t do casual and she was catching feelings for me. I felt guilty. One side in me wishes I would not have volunteered the info like that but one side I’m glad I did as it saved heartache down the line. However with that being said I will not be doing that again in the future. Learned my lesson lol.

@BackInTheGame78 she stayed the night because she travelled from a different city. Even so I don’t believe in just kicking someone out late night just for not sleeping with me.

 

[Medina]

Carry on as normal. Keep meeting her

Guilt will only weaken your frame. You are still the prize to be won over

Fvxk the mother too. Obstacles will only increase tension & desire

 

[Desdinova]

But I made this stupid mistake of mentioning I’m not looking for anything serious right now.

Lesson learned... Never bring up the "status" conversation with her. That's her job. If she brings it up early in the relationship, just tell her that you're two people who are enjoying being around each other, and would like to see where that leads. Women love that "fate" and "destiny" 5hit, so feel free to lead them to being all dreamy about romance, marriage, and whatever other things they like to daydream about.

I volunteered the info without her asking because I sensed she doesn’t do casual and she was catching feelings for me.

When you date enough women, you'll realize that many will catch some sort of feelings for you. It's inevitable. How they handle it will tell you how emotionally stable they are.

 

[Jameswhipps]

Tons of bad advice here.

Sweet sexy inexperienced, 'good girl' type females require romantic game and they are not after guys that put **** in their throats on second or third date.

You just want to plow, she wants relationship. TBH you don't deserve her and that's it. You were told off basing on your SMV against what she has to offer (which is a lot if she is inexperienced or virgin) and that's how it ends.

Btw. There's nothing wrong in letting go a woman because of sense of guilt. I did it more than once and I don't feel remorse. Phuck&dump strategy screws mentality of men too, it just takes more time.

Oh she’s defo not inexperienced. Her mindset is redpill. She’s a one of those “boujie” girls who is used to getting what she wants and guys bending over backwards for her. This mindset comes from her mother and experience. She has orbiters and she uses them for free expensive dinners. And as I write this I’m realising how afc I was for feeing guilty.

she tried to get me to pay her travel costs (expensive as she comes from a different city with 3 hours travel time by train and she currently isn’t working.). I laughed at her and said no, she ended up paying herself. She knows she can’t do that stuff with me which is part of why she was into me so much. The way she was handling my sexual advances seemed more out of “rules” then shyness because she doesn’t want to come across as sl*tty. Also, I wasn’t throwing my d*** on her face. She was escalating too. Physically and verbally.

Her frame was being broken down bit by bit until I made the stupid decision of telling her I wasn’t looking for anything serious.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

She has orbiters and she uses them for free expensive dinners.

That changes everything....... act like THOT, get treated like THOT.

 

[Jameswhipps]

So why was she there?
You are being manipulated.

I get where you’re coming from but no I’m not. I’m a higher frequency than her.

 

[Jameswhipps]

Why was she there?

Bro have you read the whole thread? She was there to date. Wth?

 

[Jameswhipps]

Really? She took a train. 3 hours?
She gets dinner dates regularly by other men.
She acts shy yet wears lingerie to bed.
Doesn’t want you to think she’s a slvt.
Did she run out of men in her home town or does she have a cuckolded husband or boyfriend and wants to branch to another cuck?

She was after something. Are you wealthy?
She was developing you for something. Marriage?

If she was into you she would be having naughty sex with you. Her mother has nothing to do with it. Lol

Yes ofcourse, she was after dating and potentially creating a relationship. That’s normal. I don’t believe that’s manipulating

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Why did she wear lingerie? You keep glossing over this. I tend to agree with Final Line.

And, was she shaved ......?

 

[Jameswhipps]

And, was she shaved ......?

Yes smh. I’m just dumb clearly. It was last minute resistance that I couldn’t break through

 

[bcude]

This mom of hers is a non-issue when you tap into her emotions. Don't give her any choice of setting roadblocks by pushing the right buttons. There is a saying "women set rules for betas and break rules for alphas" for a reason. Emotions override logic.

But I made this stupid mistake of mentioning I’m not looking for anything serious right now.

You fxcked up here.

When she came the second time, wears lingerie and you get her naked - she is ready to be plowed.
Somewhere there you turned her off. Probably didn't make her horny enough.

If she truly had this "rule" of waiting for sex because her mom told her that, she wouldn't have jumped into bed with you again and brought lingerie. That shows what her intentions were.

You could even use her mom to your advantage and paint a picture of you being naughty and rebellious going against the "rules", then she would go home and either lie about sleeping with you, or say what girls love to say: "i don't know what happened, he was just so charming and one thing led to another!" (taking the innocent passive stance).

 

[Jameswhipps]

This is an experienced woman. With men. Which is not a bad thing. Even mid range girls are experienced with men.
She has a fiancé or husband that she wants to branch from. If it was just sex, she could have gotten it in her town.

Withholding sex is highly manipulative if she’s naked, almost naked or sleeping over etc. this causes men to act weird and even move mountains sometimes. The idea was to get you emotionally hooked on her despite her many past indiscretions.

It’s a play on her sex being the most valuable thing on the planet. Her sex is “scarce” and it is only For special men when she wants the man to feel she has a magnificent prize. It’s used to reward cuckable men.

A sex man and she would be on her knees in a heartbeat. Getting all her holes used.

You were so manipulated that she has you completely off the track. You think it’s her mom or last minute resistance and you are actually here asking if you fukked up with the “not looking” for anything long term.

She banks on men being like this.

Kinda get what you’re saying. I was a bit jaded but not manipulated. one thing I know is there isn’t a SO for a fact. This is someone I met through my social circle so I know this

 

[Lookatu]

I volunteered the info without her asking because I sensed she doesn’t do casual and she was catching feelings for me. I felt guilty. One side in me wishes I would not have volunteered the info like that but one side I’m glad I did as it saved heartache down the line. However with that being said I will not be doing that again in the future. Learned my lesson lol.

Take that guilt out of your mind and here's why: Both guys and girls don't know what they want necessarily. I've seen guys that wanted casual that end up falling in love and getting serious. I've seen gals that were initially looking for something serious willing to just stay casual. Unexpected things happen in life and it's narrow minded to think that things will always end up a certain way.

But yeah, never give up info. If pressed for it, just say your ultimate end goal is to find a serious LTR. (It may not be now or with her but it leaves it open ended).

Also know that any gal that is willing to make out in bed with you but not have sex is most likely going to be a relationship minded girl or playing games. If you can't get the bang while she's in your bed and you don't want a relationship or mislead her, your best bet is to recognize this early and don't waste your time further and eject.

 

[7onriverI f]

Take that guilt out of your mind and here's why: Both guys and girls don't know what they want necessarily. I've seen guys that wanted casual that end up falling in love and getting serious. I've seen gals that were initially looking for something serious willing to just stay casual. Unexpected things happen in life and it's narrow minded to think that things will always end up a certain way.

But yeah, never give up info. If pressed for it, just say your ultimate end goal is to find a serious LTR. (It may not be now or with her but it leaves it open ended).

Also know that any gal that is willing to make out in bed with you but not have sex is most likely going to be a relationship minded girl or playing games. If you can't get the bang while she's in your bed and you don't want a relationship or mislead her, your best bet is to recognize this early and don't waste your time further and eject.

I would rather just make out with a lot of girls rather than bang them. Especially on the same day.

Banging them just adds extra worries if your not in a relationship with them. Even then I don't fully trust them.

 

[Lookatu]

I would rather just make out with a lot of girls rather than bang them. Especially on the same day.

Banging them just adds extra worries if your not in a relationship with them. Even then I don't fully trust them.

Is that why you go to the Gay clubs?