How do bpd women move on so quickly

[guru1000]

The very label of “BPD” places the onus and shifts the focus, albeit implicitly, upon the outside..

“She was an evil BPD”

—not—

“She was unhealthy, and I value myself too much so I walked away.

—or—

“‘I wanted to walk away but I didn’t. I learned ...”

YOU are the master of your fate. If you need to categorize people and events as “bad,” you are simply projecting your own insecurities and shortcomings upon the world with “your eyes closed.”

Your “complaints” are open for all to see. And that is exactly what they are: “complaints,” incited by being a victim of the “outside.” The minute you proclaim you are no victim is the time you will transcend.

I’ve met more characters in my life than most of you, but I never pointed at them for my temporary setbacks. Instead I thanked them for the lesson. I looked inward to try to identify the lessons implicit in every ostensibly unfruitful circumstance.

You focus on the people, and not the lesson. This is your error.

 

[Roober]

The very label of “BPD” places the onus and shifts the focus, albeit implicitly, upon the outside..

“She was an evil BPD”

—not—

“She was unhealthy, and I value myself too much so I walked away.

—or—

“‘I wanted to walk away but I didn’t. I learned ...”

YOU are the master of your fate. If you need to categorize people and events as “bad,” you are simply projecting your own insecurities and shortcomings upon the world with “your eyes closed.”

Your “complaints” are open for all to see. And that is exactly what they are: “complaints,” incited by being a victim of the “outside.” The minute you proclaim you are no victim is the time when you will transcend.

I’ve met more characters in my life than most of you, but I never pointed at them for my temporary setbacks. Instead I thanked them for the lesson. I looked inward to try to identify the lessons implicit in every ostensibly unfruitful circumstance.

You focus on the people, and not the lesson. This is your error.

Unfortunately, it seems pretty pointless...

@LARaiders85 "I think this is a strawman" and @captain55 "This guy just doesn't seem to get it". Would you agree that these are more outward projections? I don't mean any offense, but you guys should take some philosophy courses at a local community college and learn a little bit about the "that's your opinion" self-limiting belief.

I feel like I am trying to explain calculus to a 5-year old...

 

[Roober]

At a local community college? Lol

Have you ever been through a cluster B relationship and break-up?

Come on man. You haven't either. Neither have most of everyone here. It is a cop out, plain and simple. Read the quote below... Are each of the 3 items subjective or objective?

"According to DSM-5, a personality disorder can be diagnosed if there are significant impairments in self and interpersonal functioning together with one or more pathological personality traits. In addition, these features must be
(1) relatively stable across time and consistent across situations,
(2) not better understood as normative for the individual’s developmental stage or socio-cultural environment, and
(3) not solely due to the direct effects of a substance or general medical condition."

Can you prove all three criteria? As I understand, both of your exes function normally on a day to day basis.
1. Is it stable across time and consistent across situations? How long have you known this woman? You can make an analysis on her based on your limited time?
2. Is this normal behavior for her development stage? Here is one article with a quick google search: https://www.psychologistworld.com/behavior/erikson.... Ages 20-45. Intimacy vs. isolation? to lose and find oneself? Seems like pretty normal behavior
3. From what I understand, some of the exes here use drugs or heavy alcohol, which impairs everyone's judgement. Has her actions been COMPLETELY alcohol and drug free?

Love does funny things and makes people act in silly ways. Just because your exes went crazy BECAUSE of you, or IN SPITE of you doesn't make them crazy.

 

[guru1000]

You should do both and you have to do both. They are not mutually exclusive. If you take your relationship with the nut job at face value and actually try to improve based upon the crazy parameters of that relationship you will screw up your future relationships(actually, a huge amount of manosphere advice is exactly this). Very important to identify what actually happened and not jump the shark later on.

I promise you LARaider, in every unfruitful encounter with another, there will be at least one lesson you can extract (if you connect the dots correctly) from which you can capitalize on in the future. And that lesson will not be the knowledge of “labels.”

I thank the universe not for my successes as I learned nothing through them. I’m thankful for my failures and to have met those people who turned me upside down.

 

[fastlife]

@captain55 Time to learn a lesson in acceptance that will aid you in passing every sh1t test you encounter from here on out:

• This girl doesn't care about you RIGHT NOW.

OK, cool. That's all this means. There is nothing deeper. This is the fact. In this moment, this girl is not communicative, engaged, etc. It doesn't change past emotions or past events and it shouldn't dictate your present or your future. Your experience is YOURS!!! How other people choose to interpret things is THEIRS!!!

If you're hungry and you go to McDonald's and McDonald's is closed, what do you do? Well, you could get upset--McDonald's was always open when I tried to get food there is the past; how could they do this to me? Or you could accept that McDonald's is closed right now and it's time to drive down the street and see what else is open. Either way, it doesn't change the facts of the situation. You can't make McDonald's open its doors. It doesn't make the meal you got there last week any better or worse. And it doesn't mean McDonald's might not be open next time you drive there.

So: Accept the situation. Then do what you can to correct the situation for you. Go for a run, hit up your friends, buy a dozen doughnuts, meet other women--if there aren't other women in your area, work on a plan to get somewhere where there is an abundance of women and you wont have to worry about losing validation from some BPD chick.

 

[captain55]

Yes, at least one of the two is diagnosed and the features fit those three criteria perfectly. They tell you about their lives once the mask comes off.

You serious? Thats crazy because you just made me realize something. The whole relationship she told me that her sister was molested by her neighbor but SHE never was because she was aware of what was going on and nobody messed with her. This is what I always believed.

The night she tried to kill herself when I tried to leave her, (and the mask was off), she told me "Ive never told anyone this before but I was molested by my neighbor"

 

[captain55]

@captain55 Time to learn a lesson in acceptance that will aid you in passing every sh1t test you encounter from here on out:

• This girl doesn't care about you RIGHT NOW.

OK, cool. That's all this means. There is nothing deeper. This is the fact. In this moment, this girl is not communicative, engaged, etc. It doesn't change past emotions or past events and it shouldn't dictate your present or your future. Your experience is YOURS!!! How other people choose to interpret things is THEIRS!!!

If you're hungry and you go to McDonald's and McDonald's is closed, what do you do? Well, you could get upset--McDonald's was always open when I tried to get food there is the past; how could they do this to me? Or you could accept that McDonald's is closed right now and it's time to drive down the street and see what else is open. Either way, it doesn't change the facts of the situation. You can't make McDonald's open its doors. It doesn't make the meal you got there last week any better or worse. And it doesn't mean McDonald's might not be open next time you drive there.

So: Accept the situation. Then do what you can to correct the situation for you. Go for a run, hit up your friends, buy a dozen doughnuts, meet other women--if there aren't other women in your area, work on a plan to get somewhere where there is an abundance of women and you wont have to worry about losing validation from some BPD chick.

I got you. Couple questions for anyone who wants to answer though and a couple of observations.

1. This woman was more in love with me. I loved her, but never respected her enough or trusted her enough to fall "in love" with her. The fact that she admitted to me she cheated on her ex, made it difficult for me to fall for her. I feel guilty for leading her on when she would talk to me about kids and marriage and I would tell her what she wanted to hear because I wanted to keep her around as a safety net...I feel weak because as a man I wasn't able to break it off sooner when I KNEW it wasn't right, and was a slave to the amazing head and sex she would give me every time she did something to make me lose respect for her. I lost respect for her years ago.

2. I was planning on leaving for a long time. Always wondering how great it would to be single. And I knew she would always be a safety net to fall back on. I was possessive of her, and liked claiming her as my property, but didn't really want her either. The fact that Im having some doubts in my mind now is just my mind playing tricks on me correct? I remember the times when I was so frustrated that I was sure I was done with her, a couple days would pass...and I would get over it and take her back. I am too forgiving....I forget things quickly.

Part of me sees the silver lining because I realize that true love takes time and does not come until you actually respect a woman. You can love someone and care about someone and have a connection with someone, but until you respect a woman you can't fall in love with her. And respect is something I never had for her.

 

[MatureDJ]

Evolutionary biologists have surmised that Man's condition for a great part of his history was one of frequent tribal wars where the conquered tribe's adult men got slaughtered, the immature males got put into bondage, and the women folk were forced to become spare wives of the conquerors. Those womenfolk who had bad attitudes about attachment to their conquered men were slaughtered as well, along with their children. Hence, the female ethological genetic predispositions that have survived to today have the component of having good attitudes about conquerors, and therefore women find it very easy to "move on" in sexual matters.

 

[ChangePages]

My BPD ex left me stranded in the state she lives in so she can **** someone else (unbeknownst to me at the moment) a week later they both got into a relationship and have been in a relationship for a year and a half now. Compared to our year relationship.

She has only contacted me twice throughout this year time span and both times were very cold to me even tho she left me stranded in another state and got into a relationship quickly. I'm still the bad one. I'm getting over it now, but a year and a half later its still a bit hard because of what she did during the break up, I knew from the start the relationship wouldn't last and she wasn't the one, I played her games like a good boy until I got fed up with her and lost respect, then she started cutting herself ect. trying to manipulate. I'm not sure if I was in love till this day but I definitely wanted her to stay for the sex so I catered to her wants and her needs. The only thing that affects me till this day is what she did that day when we broke up but recently, l I saw her recent pictures and noticed shes gotten really fat which made me feel more confident in walking away and never talking to her again which I struggled because of all the obsessional thinking for the past year and a half.

Look what I'm trying to say is that most of these BPD girls are emotionally unstable, they move on fast because they're afraid of being alone and abandoned which is most likely what they feel when they break up with someone. They refuse to go thru the pain of the relationship so they use some form of substance and/or monkey branch relationship to ease the guilt and pain but what they don't know is it would only help you so much before you eventually will have to face those troubles. So they jump into another relationship that still has the familiarity of a relationship but not the connection, and that's when most of these relationship ****s up for the BPD because it doesn't help them. It makes it worse for them. And if they ever come back trying to triangulate you into a relationship (they will) don't do it. That should be your first and only sign to see that she hasn't changed as a person.

Don't take nothing personal. It had nothing to do with you.

And oh yeah, if you felt miserable and unhappy with her. The obsessional thinking is only there to confuse you. It would only make you want to miss her but when you get her you'll still be in that miserable unhappy state again.

You'll find someone else OP.

 

[Medina]

You still around OP? Did the girl ever come back into your life?

I've just had the same deal. It's so weird to read this thread

The intense idealization of me and bam. It's totally gone

You are correct that it does dent the ego. Its because they make you feel like God for so long..and then a ghost

She's now living with SIX guys lol. BPD is one hell of a condition

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You still around OP? Did the girl ever come back into your life?

I've just had the same deal. It's so weird to read this thread

The intense idealization of me and bam. It's totally gone

You are correct that it does dent the ego. Its because they make you feel like God for so long..and then a ghost

She's now living with SIX guys lol. BPD is one hell of a condition

Did you post a thread of the female dropping you for six guys?

 

[Medina]

Did you post a thread of the female dropping you for six guys?

No but I may have mentioned her in the past

She stalked me and idealized me for years

 

[MatureDJ]

Women have evolved to be able to easily move on from men. In our much more brutish history, wars for booty (literally) happened all the time, and the women had to have a good attitude being the conquerors' concubines for them and their children to survive; those with had attitudes got killed off.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Once they find a shiny new toy they move on
Short attention spans

 

[wifehunter]

Women have evolved to be able to easily move on from men. In our much more brutish history, wars for booty (literally) happened all the time, and the women had to have a good attitude being the conquerors' concubines for them and their children to survive; those with had attitudes got killed off.

You had me at 'booty'.

 

[soulforge]

There was this BPD plate that i had ... for almost a year she tried to win me over into a serious relationship ... we saw each other weekly ... and she made me feel like a god ... i was as important to her existence as the air in her lungs ...

Then she started seeing some guy who she's now in a relationship with ... i had never been dropped so swiftly and coldly in my life. It was like her interest level went from 110% to 0% in a 24 hour period. These chicks are cut throat and crazy.

Most current medical literature says BPDs are often misdiagnosed as something else. They are so unique in their behavior that if you've ever dated one, almost all exhibit 80+% of the classic symptom warning signs. At least the one I dated did. I think she scored 100%.

Made you feel like a God? The interest is FAKE it was never real.

Woman are expert manipulators and actresses.. They move on quickly because they didn't genuinely give a fuk to begin with.

This is how they survive.. Mastery of manipulation.

Welcome to the red pill

 

[Medina]

Made you feel like a God? The interest is FAKE it was never real.

Woman are expert manipulators and actresses.. They move on quickly because they didn't genuinely give a fuk to begin with.

This is how they survive.. Mastery of manipulation.

Welcome to the red pill

It's not fake. It's just easily re-directed. This is true of most women and 10 fold with bpd

It happens when they 1) perceive another man as better or 2) she moves to a new environment

I know 100% she will become obsessed with another dude and see him as her new God

Bpd women have intense idealization. It's actually one of the symptoms. Before they oust you, of course

 

[wifehunter]

Made you feel like a God? The interest is FAKE it was never real.

Woman are expert manipulators and actresses.. They move on quickly because they didn't genuinely give a fuk to begin with.

This is how they survive.. Mastery of manipulation.

Welcome to the red pill

Witches gotta do, what witches gotta do.