Female body dysmorphia and narcissism

[AttackFormation]

Narcissism definition (wikipedia): "... the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self image and attributes."
Body dysmorphia definition (wikipedia): "... a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it."

I have been struck lately by the fact that women online seem chronically unable to show themselves as they actually look. They do not have pictures without cherry-picked poses and lighting, filters, face morphs, and of course the usual cosmetics like makeup and sometimes fake hair and eyelashes. What concerns me is not necessarily that they do this sporadically, like one might dress up for a halloween party, but that their entire presentation consists of this fake appearance.

Not every single profile I see online, but the overwhelming majority of them, seem to me to fulfill these criteria. And if we also count women who don't use electronic enhancements but still don't show themselves without makeup in even one picture, then the ratio is as good as every profile.

Is it just in female nature to embody these diagnoses and the enhancements and makeup are merely symptoms? or is it something in the culture that exacerbates it and it doesn't need to be this way? This really does strike me as both a cause and symptom of mental illness, and I am becoming more and more alarmed by it the more profiles I go through and the more consistent the pattern is. How the hell are you supposed to find a mentally healthy woman like this? Or am I overestimating the ill effects of it?

 

[Who Dares Win]

In my opinion women right now finds themselves between two extreme opposites.

The first one tell them that they are special, this is reinforced from the many sexual options they have and the amount of guys thirsting at them.

The second one is the fact that social media create a competition for attention where while they have men available to them, they also know that other options for those men are around.

It's like a guy who gets paid 10k euros montly but is not sure if he is good enough to keep his job while others will fill an application.

 

[AttackFormation]

In my opinion women right now finds themselves between two extreme opposites.

The first one tell them that they are special, this is reinforced from the many sexual options they have and the amount of guys thirsting at them.

The second one is the fact that social media create a competition for attention where while they have men available to them, they also know that other options for those men are around.

It's like a guy who gets paid 10k euros montly but is not sure if he is good enough to keep his job while others will fill an application.

Ah, indeed, this establishes the narcissism - and since narcissists have vast egos but poor self-esteem, that in turn breeds the body dysmorphia. Although I guess some of them only have the body dysmorphia.

Man, you've seen how it is right? I mean you have been tindering a bit. 99,9% of the women I see will not show their face without electronic (filters, face morphs) and physical (makeup, fake hair, fake eyelashes) cosmetics in even a single picture, it's impossible to see what they actually look like. I tell myself every time that it's like a fvcking freak show.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Ah, indeed, this establishes the narcissism - and since narcissists have vast egos but poor self-esteem, that in turn breeds the body dysmorphia. Although I guess some of them only have the body dysmorphia.

Man, you've seen how it is right? I mean you have been tindering a bit. 99% of the women I see will not show their face without electronic (filters, face morphs) and physical (makeup, fake hair, fake eyelashes) cosmetics in even one picture. I tell myself every time that it's like a fvcking freak show.

Thats the most dangerous combo in anyone you're dealing with, man or woman.

Regarding tinder, I believe that for any picture shown there, they probably made 100 and picked the best one...then they added filters.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Thats the most dangerous combo in anyone you're dealing with, man or woman.

Regarding tinder, I believe that for any picture shown there, they probably made 100 and picked the best one...then they added filters.

Lighting + makeup + filters = disappointing date

 

[user43770]

Ah, indeed, this establishes the narcissism - and since narcissists have vast egos but poor self-esteem, that in turn breeds the body dysmorphia. Although I guess some of them only have the body dysmorphia.

Man, you've seen how it is right? I mean you have been tindering a bit. 99,9% of the women I see will not show their face without electronic (filters, face morphs) and physical (makeup, fake hair, fake eyelashes) cosmetics in even a single picture, it's impossible to see what they actually look like. I tell myself every time that it's like a fvcking freak show.

I hate the filters these b1tches use. Who do they think they're fooling?!

What stands out to me is the fatties who post 6 face shots and no body pics. Lol fool me once!

I know you like the big girls, attack, but they ain't for me

 

[AttackFormation]

I hate the filters these b1tches use. Who do they think they're fooling?!

What stands out to me is the fatties who post 6 face shots and no body pics. Lol fool me once!

I know you like the big girls, attack, but they ain't for me

Yeah I deleted all my OLD some days ago now, and decided to just absolve myself from the idea of meeting women. To not have that striving anymore and just live my life as it is felt very liberating, like Sisyphus releasing himself from the cycle. I also made a commitment to not use OLD again for 3 years, with the goal of continuing the disuse forever after that. Distraction electronics in general are deeply unhealthy and have to be eliminated and minimized, they breed neuroticism and compulsion... they make us less free, not more.

I could hardly find a big girl online here at all if my life so depended on it anyway. The adult obesity rate averages to 15% in this country, lower than even your slimmest state. I know they exist... but not online. You'd feel like a kid at christmas here.

 

[corrector]

Yeah I deleted all my OLD some days ago now, and decided to just absolve myself from the idea of meeting women.

You are not meeting anyone online?

To not have that striving anymore and just live my life as it is felt very liberating, like Sisyphus releasing himself from the cycle. I also made a commitment to not use OLD again for 3 years, with the goal of continuing the disuse forever after that.

That means you might end up like me. I last used online dating in 2016 and saw my ex profile on there and got all sorts of personal information about her. I quit like 4 years ago, but now I'm re-thinking it because I'm figuring, what do I have to lose by giving it another kick in the can? It would be interesting to hear your reasons for quitting.

Distraction electronics in general are deeply unhealthy and have to be eliminated and minimized, they breed neuroticism and compulsion... they make us less free, not more.

So you are not getting traction online? Someone who is successful and getting lots of hits with online dating would see this as a viable way to meet women.

 

[AttackFormation]

You are not meeting anyone online?



That means you might end up like me. I last used online dating in 2016 and saw my ex profile on there and got all sorts of personal information about her. I quit like 4 years ago, but now I'm re-thinking it because I'm figuring, what do I have to lose by giving it another kick in the can? It would be interesting to hear your reasons for quitting.



So you are not getting traction online? Someone who is successful and getting lots of hits with online dating would see this as a viable way to meet women.

No I'm not. You say that like it's a surprise haha.

My reasons for quitting are:
#1 - I couldn't stand beholding womens' deranged, grotesque fixation with electronic and physical cosmetics any longer. It wasn't like looking at an array of women but an array of mental illness.

#2 - I was tired of wasting my self-esteem, time and energy for no good result. I got hardly any matches in the first place, but further to the point I couldn't match anyone I was actually attracted to and the very few times I did they always flaked.

Yes they would, and that's great for them - but it doesn't work for me and I'm glad to have gotten rid of it.

 

[corrector]

No I'm not. You say that like it's a surprise haha.

My reasons for quitting are:
#1 - Almost all of their profiles read the same (travel, adventures, cuddles, someone who can make her laugh, maybe a link to their instagram or cashapp), containing nothing I'm interested in being with her or carrying a conversation for.

#2 - I couldn't stand beholding womens' deranged, grotesque fixation with electronic and physical cosmetics any longer. It wasn't like looking at an array of women but an array of mental illness.

#3 - I was tired of wasting my self-esteem, time and energy for no good result. I got hardly any matches in the first place, but further to the point I couldn't match anyone I was actually attracted to and the very few times I did they always flaked.

Yes they would, and that's great for them - but it doesn't work for me and I'm glad to have gotten rid of it.

You should have got more traction than me but are getting the same results. No homo, but your were from the army (or so claimed) and your pics look more rugged masculine than mine would look, so I'm shocked you are not getting proper traction. It sounds a bit JBW here if you, of all people, are not getting traction.

I mean #3 has to be the real reason you are quitting and #1 and # 2 are more ego-protective reasons. Even people continue playing the lottery if they get a small prize once in a while rather than luck out all the time. Do you think that being mixed-race is making it difficult for you to attract women? I mean you are not black enough to attract white chicks that are into blacks, and you are not white enough to attract ethnics who worship whites which would place us at a disadvantage in the dating sphere so there are no "last resort" options that can work if you are not getting an "acceptable" level of traction?

 

[AttackFormation]

You should have got more traction than me but are getting the same results. No homo, but your were from the army (or so claimed) and your pics look more rugged masculine than mine would look, so I'm shocked you are not getting proper traction. It sounds a bit JBW here if you, of all people, are not getting traction.

I mean #3 has to be the real reason you are quitting and #1 and # 2 are more ego-protective reasons. Even people continue playing the lottery if they get a small prize once in a while rather than luck out all the time. Do you think that being mixed-race is making it difficult for you to attract women? I mean you are not black enough to attract white chicks that are into blacks, and you are not white enough to attract ethnics who worship whites which would place us at a disadvantage in the dating sphere so there are no "last resort" options that can work if you are not getting an "acceptable" level of traction? Have you thought of putting blue lenses on or altering your eye-color online to see if that dramatically improves your results?

I edited my post heavily since you quoted this haha, anyway I'll respond.

I didn't claim to be from the military (although I have spent a few weeks in the swedish navy which I thought were very valuable), however people said I looked like someone who was. About JBW, remember that "the most right-swiped man on Tinder" is a black male model, Stefan-Pierre Tomlin. I believe how close you are to being Chad is more important than what your ethnicity is, it's not like general white men are cleaning up on OLD even if JBW is a hypothetical factor.

Like you I don't have "black" mannerisms either, so I won't appeal to girls who are looking for that thug/rapper/gangsta/etcetra - assuming any of them are. I won't alter my eye color. Also, I have NOT experienced a lack of interest from girls in real life growing up. Far from every girl wanted me, but I was accustomed to being among the more popular guys in my school which by the way was almost all white. I had multiple women liking me in the grades below, in, and above mine.

So I feel a massive disconnect between what I grew accustomed to in real life during my preteens and teens, and the reality on OLD I began facing after school. Thus if JBW would be a factor (which I would be reluctant to jump to), how could it explain how my experience growing up and my experience on OLD are like parallel universes?

 

[redskinsfan92]

No I'm not. You say that like it's a surprise haha.

My reasons for quitting are:
#1 - I couldn't stand beholding womens' deranged, grotesque fixation with electronic and physical cosmetics any longer. It wasn't like looking at an array of women but an array of mental illness.

#2 - I was tired of wasting my self-esteem, time and energy for no good result. I got hardly any matches in the first place, but further to the point I couldn't match anyone I was actually attracted to and the very few times I did they always flaked.

Yes they would, and that's great for them - but it doesn't work for me and I'm glad to have gotten rid of it.

Agree. Same here

 

[corrector]

Thus if JBW would be a factor (which I would be reluctant to jump to), how could it explain how my experience growing up and my experience on OLD are like parallel universes?

You had situational confidence in the context of growing up and had social validation. When you are out of that environment then you don't have that going for you and are out in a global dating market field. White guys tend to get more replies, especially from ethnic and black women than ethnic guys, which would put us at a disadvantage based on the stats. Therefore, to test this, if you put up a profile, took off your picture, put "white" as a race and spam emailed all ethnic (Asian, Black, Indian, etc.. women) then you would have a better chance of setting up a date than with your true profile. I've never tested that myself, but that would be an example of JBW if it were true.

 

[AttackFormation]

You had situational confidence in the context of growing up and had social validation. When you are out of that environment then you don't have that going for you and are out in a global dating market field. White guys tend to get more replies, especially from ethnic and black women than ethnic guys, which would put us at a disadvantage based on the stats. Therefore, to test this, if you put up a profile, took off your picture, put "white" as a race and spam emailed all ethnic (Asian, Black, Indian, etc.. women) then you would have a better chance of setting up a date than with your true profile. I've never tested that myself, but that would be an example of JBW if it were true.

But your explanation can't exclude that the social environment itself was what mattered, not whether I was mulatto or white. Your JBW hypothesis could be a red herring or windmill enemy while the real culprit could be the difference in social environment, no matter what eidonomy I had. In fact this would have to at least mostly be true, otherwise you couldn't explain the difference.

Haha, I'm not gonna go to that kind of length either to determine it man.

 

[corrector]

But your explanation can't exclude that the social environment itself was what mattered, not whether I was mulatto or white.

If you really want to get technical, I'd say you whitemaxed yourself in that environment by hanging out with white guys and acting white. If you are light-skinned you may have really just passed for white. Also JBW theory (its not MY theory, it's a widely circulated incel term that's a cousin of race-pill and ethnicels and is the most underrated and controversial theory out there) only works with other mainly ETHNIC woman.
Did your school had mainly Asian, Indian, or other Ethnic girls or did it have mainly White girls?

When I see two white couples together, normally I don't care about it. Sometimes I see an ugly or unkempt or handicapped white guy along with a very hot and healthy ethnic girl and the lady looks like she's on a high simply being with that guy and the way she behaves sometimes makes it obvious that she's only with him because he is her white trophy boyfriend. The guy is just doing nothing and just being worshiped and can do no wrong.

So, this is the type of thing I'm talking about. If you hung out with white guys, and you were in a mainly white school, then JBW would not apply in that social environment. If you were in China and were teaching English as a second language, then maybe that would apply there more because it's in a majority ethnic country, etc..

In India they have breeding parties where white guys are encouraged to just have sex with Indian girls so they can have lighter skinned offspring and have better prospects in that country. So, again, if you were in India, then again, chances are JBW would apply there too.

Your JBW hypothesis could be a red herring or windmill enemy while the real culprit could be the difference in social environment. In fact this would have to at least mostly be true, otherwise you couldn't explain the difference.

Since I'm differentiating whether the women in question are white or ethnics then I'm not saying there is any difference. You didn't tell me that most of the girls in that school where non-whites or ethnics. I am attacking ethnic women when using JBW not white women.
In fact, it's more likely that a high status or great looks ethnic guys can land a white woman. The point with JBW is if you are not high on the looks scale, we don't have an "ethnic crutch" to fall back on like white guys do and are more likely to end up as ethnicels.

Haha, I'm not gonna go to that kind of length either to determine it man.

It's not a big stretch to remove the photo and claim you are white. It's no length at all. The worst outcome is it actually works. The best outcome is you try it, and you basically blow apart everything I just wrote with a simple experiment. What do you have to lose? You already said it's not working for you. If you choose to quit, then at least go out in style and do a social experiment!

 

[AttackFormation]

If you really want to get technical, I'd say you whitemaxed yourself in that environment by hanging out with white guys and acting white. If you are light-skinned you may have really just passed for white. Also JBW theory (its not MY theory, it's a widely circulated incel term that's a cousin of race-pill and ethnicels and is the most underrated and controversial theory out there) only works with other mainly ETHNIC woman.
Did your school had mainly Asian, Indian, or other Ethnic girls or did it have mainly White girls?

So, this is the type of thing I'm talking about. If you hung out with white guys, and you were in a mainly white school, then JBW would not apply in that social environment. If you were in China and were teaching English as a second language, then maybe that would apply there more because it's in a majority ethnic country, etc..

In India they have breeding parties where white guys are encouraged to just have sex with Indian girls so they can have lighter skinned offspring and have better prospects in that country. So, again, if you were in India, then again, chances are JBW would apply there too.

Since I'm differentiating whether the women in question are white or ethnics then I'm not saying there is any difference. You didn't tell me that most of the girls in that school where non-whites or ethnics. I am attacking ethnic women when using JBW not white women.
In fact, it's more likely that a high status or great looks ethnic guys can land a white woman. The point with JBW is if you are not high on the looks scale, we don't have an "ethnic crutch" to fall back on like white guys do and are more likely to end up as ethnicels.



It's not a big stretch to remove the photo and claim you are white. It's no length at all. The worst outcome is it actually works. The best outcome is you try it, and you basically blow apart everything I just wrote with a simple experiment. What do you have to lose? You already said it's not working for you. If you choose to quit, then at least go out in style and do a social experiment!

Okay, thanks for fleshing out the technicalities of JBW theory haha. I thought it was just in general, didn't know it's supposed to be context-based. My school had nearly only white girls and the large majority of OLD here is white girls too. Still the same case though, JBW can't explain the difference while the difference in social environment can.

Haha quit fvcking with me you bastard you know I'm not doing that shyt! LOL...

I will be starting university next week, although this term will be by distance due to corona so I won't meet any women yet. Whatever, I don't have any active hopes about women anymore.

 

[corrector]

Okay, thanks for fleshing out the technicalities of JBW theory haha. I thought it was just in general, didn't know it's supposed to be context-based. My school had nearly only white girls and the large majority of OLD here is white girls too. Still the same case though, JBW can't explain the difference while the difference in social environment can.

Oh, I didn't know the large majority of OLD was white girls. I've put up crazy posts for nothing? Well, in that case I think you may not look ethnic enough to attract them. Lots of white girls like ethnic guys. In fact, I know this Indian guy that told me he didn't want to work because he was worried white girls would be hitting on him and he wanted to stay pure before the Lord back a good 18 years ago.

Try putting up your profile up here so you can get help with experienced DJs and see if anyone can help you tweak it up a bit? Have you thought about professional photos.

But I don't think you are going to fly to China to see if you can get an Asian gf if things don't work out here, right?

Haha quit fvcking with me you bastard you know I'm not doing that shyt! LOL...

Of course, you didn't tell me that most of the girls were white. It must be something else.

 

[AttackFormation]

Oh, I didn't know the large majority of OLD was white girls. I've put up crazy posts for nothing? Well, in that case I think you may not look ethnic enough to attract them. Lots of white girls like ethnic guys. In fact, I know this Indian guy that told me he didn't want to work because he was worried white girls would be hitting on him and he wanted to stay pure before the Lord back a good 18 years ago.

Try putting up your profile up here so you can get help with experienced DJs and see if anyone can help you tweak it up a bit? Have you thought about professional photos.

But I don't think you are going to fly to China to see if you can get an Asian gf if things don't work out here, right?



Of course, you didn't tell me that most of the girls were white. It must be something else.

Lol, I don't think ethnics have any general advantage. Maybe that guy was delusional, or referring to a 47 year old who was never a piece of art to begin with and has seen the worse side of 30 years of substance abuse. His delusion would make sense if he is inexperienced with women.

Nah man, I'm done with OLD. I have indeed thought about professional pictures but I'm not gonna bother with those now.

I couldn't be with east asian chicks anyway, I think they're pretty but their body type isn't what I would need to be satisfied.

Yes - and that something else is simply not being hot enough for OLD, haha.

 

[corrector]

I couldn't be with east asian chicks anyway, I think they're pretty but their body type isn't what I would need to be satisfied.

They moan when they have sex with a Chinese accent though.

 

[user43770]

Yeah I deleted all my OLD some days ago now, and decided to just absolve myself from the idea of meeting women. To not have that striving anymore and just live my life as it is felt very liberating, like Sisyphus releasing himself from the cycle. I also made a commitment to not use OLD again for 3 years, with the goal of continuing the disuse forever after that. Distraction electronics in general are deeply unhealthy and have to be eliminated and minimized, they breed neuroticism and compulsion... they make us less free, not more.

I could hardly find a big girl online here at all if my life so depended on it anyway. The adult obesity rate averages to 15% in this country, lower than even your slimmest state. I know they exist... but not online. You'd feel like a kid at christmas here.

As a man, online dating lowers your value. Forget about that gay mess. You're right to give it up.

But I hope this doesn't mean you're gay now. I mean, you were already kinda gay, but now...

Do you have any plans to meet women? I guess you could always meet them in person