Dating an Indian girl

AttackFormation

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he likely doesn't know it or understand it herself.... she is young and inexperienced and is probably consciously thinking to herself, "I'd like to get to know this guy more so that I can get comfortable with him and then my attraction will begin to grow for him." But she doesn't understand it doesn't work like that. Attraction won't grow. It's either there or it isn't. It's kind of sad really, and it's why women get so pissed off when you walk away and won't accept the friend-zone, because they TRULY don't believe they are friend-zoning you. In their mind, they think they will become sexually attracted to you over time and if not, then hey no big deal you can both just be friends! Great arrangement for you right? Most women don't understand how attraction works.
I agree with what you wrote in general but am highly skeptical of this, it actually sounds like what a woman would rationalize. Getting pissed off because a man has a different perspective for spending his own time than pleasing her whim sounds to me as simply entitlement, not naivety.

I think she simply doesn't Desire him, but she can still see him being Useful, and then her entitlement pissed her off when he refused to be so and thus became Useless to her.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I agree with what you wrote in general but am highly skeptical of this, it actually sounds like what a woman would rationalize. Getting pissed off because a man has a different perspective for spending his own time than pleasing her whim sounds to me as simply entitlement, not naivety.

I think she simply doesn't Desire him, but she can still see him being Useful, and then her entitlement pissed her off when he refused to be so and thus became Useless to her.
I hear you but honestly, that's how men think. We are very conscious and logical with our purposes, intents, or even manipulations. Women do everything by feel. That's why they always say "I'm confused....." "I just don't know.....". I think a lot of guys give women too much credit - thinking that they are consciously devising this diabolical strategy of gaining orbiters and blah blah blah. Oh they do it alright, but I think it most cases, it's totally subconscious. But that's my hypothesis based on my experience and observations. It would be a fascinating subject for a psychological study!

And regardless of whether it is intentional or subconscious, I 100% agree about her entitlement resulting in her anger.
 

AttackFormation

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I hear you but honestly, that's how men think. We are very conscious and logical with our purposes, intents, or even manipulations. Women do everything by feel. That's why they always say "I'm confused....." "I just don't know.....". I think a lot of guys give women too much credit - thinking that they are consciously devising this diabolical strategy of gaining orbiters and blah blah blah. Oh they do it alright, but I think it most cases, it's totally subconscious. But that's my hypothesis based on my experience and observations. It would be a fascinating subject for a psychological study!

And regardless of whether it is intentional or subconscious, I 100% agree about her entitlement resulting in her anger.
Yep I agree that she isn't mentally going through putting him in orbit like a computer script or android, I do think she is behaving subconsciously to some extent. However, I also think she knows she won't grow more attracted to him - and any belief she has to the contrary, as you describe her having, is just a doublethink rationalization to prevent cognitive dissonance over how she treats him. In the end I won't give the benefit of the doubt, fvck that.

Indeed regardless of what one thinks it is, it is certain that her sense of entitlement is the reason why it's a problem. Just reading this demeaning phrasing actually angered me: " "wasn't the friendship important?" I don't know where I friendzoned you by just asking this simple question."
 
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oldmanofthesea

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Indeed regardless of what one thinks it is, it is certain that her sense of entitlement is the reason why it's a problem. Just reading this demeaning phrasing actually angered me: " "wasn't the friendship important?" I don't know where I friendzoned you by just asking this simple question."
Not to mention her saying "Friendzone is just a label YOU put on it". She knows damn-well what the friend-zone means. And it means what she is looking for. When you go from saying you want to date to then "just be friends"....
 

AttackFormation

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Not to mention her saying "Friendzone is just a label YOU put on it". She knows damn-well what the friend-zone means. And it means what she is looking for. When you go from saying you want to date to then "just be friends"....
Yep, OP dodged a radiation poisoning with this one. Truly a toxic person. Again, just reading the nonchalantly entitled and demeaning way she phrases herself makes me feel anger.
 
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