Feeling disappointed and bad about myself

[Baibars]

Hey guys,

as some of you know i have a hard break up behind me.
Thanks to this forum and the Red Pill i Was able to get a lot better. I' m thinking way less about my ex but i couldn't fully delete her from my life because shes the mom of my kids.

Currently i'm learning a profession in the IT Departement, i have a car and im lifting/running regularly.
But i dont have friends or a social circle. I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.
But i didn't have the balls to approach a girl only once. I believe every girl hates me and since i made bad experiences with many women, i dont want to talk to them and i fear them..
I visited a few hookers and all of them were very unfriendly. I paid them for half an hour and they tried to make me *** asap. Looked disgusted at me. Today i went to another hooker and i felt even worse after that because she was so icecold.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hey guys,

as some of you know i have a hard break up behind me.
Thanks to this forum and the Red Pill i Was able to get a lot better. I' m thinking way less about my ex but i couldn't fully delete her from my life because shes the mom of my kids.

Currently i'm learning a profession in the IT Departement, i have a car and im lifting/running regularly.
But i dont have friends or a social circle. I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.
But i didn't have the balls to approach a girl only once. I believe every girl hates me and since i made bad experiences with many women, i dont want to talk to them and i fear them..
I visited a few hookers and all of them were very unfriendly. I paid them for half an hour and they tried to make me *** asap. Looked disgusted at me. Today i went to another hooker and i felt even worse after that because she was so icecold.

With a certain attitude most people won't like you. And with a better attitude many people WILL like you.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Hey guys,

as some of you know i have a hard break up behind me.
Thanks to this forum and the Red Pill i Was able to get a lot better. I' m thinking way less about my ex but i couldn't fully delete her from my life because shes the mom of my kids.

Currently i'm learning a profession in the IT Departement, i have a car and im lifting/running regularly.
But i dont have friends or a social circle. I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.
But i didn't have the balls to approach a girl only once. I believe every girl hates me and since i made bad experiences with many women, i dont want to talk to them and i fear them..
I visited a few hookers and all of them were very unfriendly. I paid them for half an hour and they tried to make me *** asap. Looked disgusted at me. Today i went to another hooker and i felt even worse after that because she was so icecold.

Forget women for now. Completely. Build connections with like-minded guys. A strong friendship will erase those holes you have right now. It's harder to find people you can trust the older you get, but it's still possible. People are pretty decent and nice in general.

No woman on this planet can fill the void in your soul. You need to do it yourself. If gyms or sports clubs are open in your area, you should join one and make some friends. Nonetheless, you have to be complete before you meet new people.

 

[Zontyy]

Stop wasting your money on hookers, it's good your trying to learn a profession in the IT department. Lifting and running is good you are on the right path. Join a GYM or sports club like Hyena mentioned. The money your wasting on hookers invest it or spend it on a hobby you think you will enjoy. Zip Lining? Golf? Swimming? Future winter snowboarding? Their is always some sports activity you can do.

Don't be afraid to ask others to go do something, when you hit a low patch in life ask your friends on social media to do something. Lots of them are just as bored as you are.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Why would you expect a hooker to enjoy being paid to have sex with you or have any kind of emotional connection with you?

If you are lonely, the last thing you need is a woman to “care for you.” What are you, a grown man, or a child wanting a mother to look after you? You’re a grown man with kids! You will be a needy wreck and you will be taking on the role of the woman in the relationship..... you will be in your feminine. Only once you are happy, have your social needs met through friends, will you be in any state to date or have a relationship with a woman.

You haven’t learned red pill if you still think a woman’s love is like the love you received from your mother. And you have a lot of work to do on yourself if you still want and crave that.

 

[Baibars]

Stop wasting your money on hookers, it's good your trying to learn a profession in the IT department. Lifting and running is good you are on the right path. Join a GYM or sports club like Hyena mentioned. The money your wasting on hookers invest it or spend it on a hobby you think you will enjoy. Zip Lining? Golf? Swimming? Future winter snowboarding? Their is always some sports activity you can do.

Don't be afraid to ask others to go do something, when you hit a low patch in life ask your friends on social media to do something. Lots of them are just as bored as you are.

You're right and i always regret it hard after i visit a hooker. But i see all this hot girls and i just feel the need to have a girl on my side who likes me and appreciates me. I know that hookers won't do that but i secretly hope that they maybe like me because i'm a young, groomed good looking guy. But they don't care. Nobody cares.

 

[Baibars]

Why would you expect a hooker to enjoy being paid to have sex with you or have any kind of emotional connection with you?

If you are lonely, the last thing you need is a woman to “care for you.” What are you, a grown man, or a child wanting a mother to look after you? You’re a grown man with kids! You will be a needy wreck and you will be taking on the role of the woman in the relationship..... you will be in your feminine. Only once you are happy, have your social needs met through friends, will you be in any state to date or have a relationship with a woman.

You haven’t learned red pill if you still think a woman’s love is like the love you received from your mother. And you have a lot of work to do on yourself if you still want and crave that.

I don't want a mom who looks after me and cares for me. I just want a hot girl to fck who has genuine desire for me. I know how girls act when they see you as high value. That's what i want.
After everything that happened to me i'm very well aware of female nature.
I experienced it first hand over and over again until i finally found this stuff. So i don't expect to be loved for no reason. But some of these girls i see on the street must like me. I'm young, i have full hair, i workout, i don't look bad ( i feel like i look good but i rarely got compliments for my looks and many women dissed me telling me i'm ugly ).

I don't even want a relationship with a woman because it's pointless for me. Imo many are not worth to ltr.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You're right and i always regret it hard after i visit a hooker. But i see all this hot girls and i just feel the need to have a girl on my side who likes me and appreciates me. I know that hookers won't do that but i secretly hope that they maybe like me because i'm a young, groomed good looking guy. But they don't care. Nobody cares.

It starts from you. You have to care about you. Then go from there. Build your life up for a while without trying to waste too much time on others. Cause right now your in a hole.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Brother, most of us have been there. The truth is you probably should be working on yourself right now and forgetting about women because until you realize that you don't NEED a woman in your life to make you happy you will continue to have the same issues and will not be able to make any progress as a man.

Your attitude should be that you would like to spend time with a woman and enjoy her company as long as it fits in with what you want out of life and she is worth it. She enters your world, you don't enter hers. She becomes a part of your life, not your entire life.

You don't NEED anyone but yourself to be happy. Until you are able to realize this and work towards that I would stay away from women. You are seeking something that is impossible to find.

 

[Baibars]

Brother, most of us have been there. The truth is you probably should be working on yourself right now and forgetting about women because until you realize that you don't NEED a woman in your life to make you happy you will continue to have the same issues and will not be able to make any progress as a man.

Your attitude should be that you would like to spend time with a woman and enjoy her company as long as it fits in with what you want out of life and she is worth it. She enters your world, you don't enter hers. She becomes a part of your life, not your entire life.

You don't NEED anyone but yourself to be happy. Until you are able to realize this and work towards that I would stay away from women. You are seeking something that is impossible to find.

And what is with '' go fck other women '' '' date other women you'll forget her and realize she's not better than all the other women out there '' ?

That's what i wanted. And many guys do that after they break up.

 

[HyenaPrince]

And what is with '' go fck other women '' '' date other women you'll forget her and realize she's not better than all the other women out there '' ?

That's what i wanted. And many guys do that after they break up.

You said you think every woman hates you and that you fear them. It's likely that you'll make further negative experiences down the road and get tangled up in more emotional drama, if you try to meet new women right now. Fix your confidence problem first, the women will come when you're ready.

 

[Jack12345]

Hey guys,

as some of you know i have a hard break up behind me.
Thanks to this forum and the Red Pill i Was able to get a lot better. I' m thinking way less about my ex but i couldn't fully delete her from my life because shes the mom of my kids.

Currently i'm learning a profession in the IT Departement, i have a car and im lifting/running regularly.
But i dont have friends or a social circle. I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.
But i didn't have the balls to approach a girl only once. I believe every girl hates me and since i made bad experiences with many women, i dont want to talk to them and i fear them..
I visited a few hookers and all of them were very unfriendly. I paid them for half an hour and they tried to make me *** asap. Looked disgusted at me. Today i went to another hooker and i felt even worse after that because she was so icecold.

In your current state of mind it'll be hard to make friends

I say enjoy it. In today's world being alone is not such a deal, it is only if you keep in your life ppl who wont admire the change you going through.. as long as you keep them close you keep yourself far

Go and do whatever the f you wanted to do when you was a boy and dont look back

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I don't want a mom who looks after me and cares for me.

But you previously said:

I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.

I understand wanting a woman in your life, but that will not cure loneliness, you should not expect a woman to be your sole source of getting your social needs met, and the phrase "admires me" is problematic. Sure, both partners should admire each other, but often when people say this, what they TRULY want is validation from a woman, not admiration. That's where my point about a mother's love comes in. You should not need a woman's validation. You should be confident, happy, and secure with yourself. If a woman is dating you and sleeping with you, she obviously admires you so you don't need to even mention admiration.

i feel like i look good but i rarely got compliments for my looks and many women dissed me telling me i'm ugly

Women almost never compliment men on their looks directly to them. They will tell their friends how handsome you are but they won't say it to your face. They will, however, tell you you're ugly if they are trying to hurt you, whether they actually think you're ugly or not. MANY men have slept with the same women who previously called them ugly.

I just want a hot girl to fck who has genuine desire for me. I know how girls act when they see you as high value. That's what i want.

Exactly - So you must become high value. With no friends, no social circle, and feeling down and out about yourself, you are anything but high-value. No women will want you.

I've been in your shoes - minus the kids. My ex wife left me. I put way too much reliance on her for my social needs.... not that I was needy with her by any means but I failed to build out a strong social circle and this failure really caused me a lot of pain and suffering after she left me because I had only a handful of close friends scattered across the country to support me. That's not enough. I tried online dating and slept with a number of women from it but none were that great and most of them cut things off with me after weeks to 2 months because they could sense I was still low-value.

So, I quit focusing on dating and started focusing on building out my social circle, sold my house in the 'burbs and moved into the city so I could be near single people and all my friends and be able to go out quickly and often. I read books on SELF development, masculinity, confidence, mindset, started meditating, and reprogramming my brain to truly believing that I am the high value man that I am. It worked. I have tons of options with women now and I know they all say good things about me to each other. There is one woman in my social circle who wouldn't date me when I first met her right after my divorce, but now that I've changed myself, and have enjoyed TONS of success with really hot women 20 years younger than me (that she gets to witness and also be told about through the gossip circle of women who talk about me), I know she'd date me in a heartbeat and she always puts out the feelers and tries to flirt with me.

This is what you need to do to be happy and content first, and subsequently to enjoy success with women second.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And what is with '' go fck other women '' '' date other women you'll forget her and realize she's not better than all the other women out there '' ?

That's what i wanted. And many guys do that after they break up.

That is for guys that already have that mindset. You need to work on you because otherwise this inherent neediness you have internally will continue to have women view you as low status and you will be right back to the same spot again like a giant circle.

No woman wants to be responsible for a man's happiness. That is way too much pressure and responsibility...

 

[Jack12345]

And man a hooker cannot possibly hate you. They deal with really mad stuff sometimes

 

[Baibars]

Ok. I will focus more on myself and i won't talk to women. But am i not a loser if i don't have the balls to approach women? I see so many hot girls. The guys they are with aren't even that handsome. I feel like i'm missing all this opportunities and everyone else is having fun with this girls.
So do i have to in a better state first to be able to talk to women? Will it come naturally?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

But am i not a loser if i don't have the balls to approach women? I see so many hot girls. The guys they are with aren't even that handsome. I feel like i'm missing all this opportunities and everyone else is having fun with this girls.

No you aren't a loser for not having the balls to approach women. Even very confident guys have a difficult time approaching women, if they haven't mastered their minds and reprogrammed themselves to not fear it.

The reason you see so many hot girls with guys that aren't even that handsome is because they have game and social proof. They demonstrate high value - most of them do it subconsciously. It's like trying to fake being rich when you aren't actually rich..... you might be able to fool some people, for a while, but not everyone and not forever. I encourage people to fake it till you make it, but only as long as you are also actually trying to change your life so you don't have to fake it anymore. The combination of learning from faking it, and also seeing how your attitude and actions naturally change with successes you have from changing your life in general, helps speed you along.

So do i have to in a better state first to be able to talk to women?

You don't have to, no, but the outcome of your talking to women will be highly dependent on your state. You can work up the balls to approach women any time, but you will be rejected far more often in a weak state vs after you've grown and are high value. In addition to the fact that, while I do cold approach and I support cold approaching, I think it should be augmented by meeting women through various social circles. You can start that by getting into activities that have attractive women. Think things like yoga, ultimate frisbee, outdoor meetup groups, other co-ed sport leagues and activities etc.

Will it come naturally?

Not for someone who doesn't already have it. You will have to work on it, like most of us did. At least, that was my experience.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

Hey guys,

as some of you know i have a hard break up behind me.
Thanks to this forum and the Red Pill i Was able to get a lot better. I' m thinking way less about my ex but i couldn't fully delete her from my life because shes the mom of my kids.

Currently i'm learning a profession in the IT Departement, i have a car and im lifting/running regularly.
But i dont have friends or a social circle. I feel lonely and i feel like i need a woman in my life who admires me.
But i didn't have the balls to approach a girl only once. I believe every girl hates me and since i made bad experiences with many women, i dont want to talk to them and i fear them..
I visited a few hookers and all of them were very unfriendly. I paid them for half an hour and they tried to make me *** asap. Looked disgusted at me. Today i went to another hooker and i felt even worse after that because she was so icecold.

First off. I'm sorry you've had a string of bad circumstances.

Now for the solutions:

1) Keep studying/working. In fact study/work harder. I dont give a sh1t if you think your studying your hardest. 1) your not and 2) its not the point here . raise your god damn standards.
2)You're needy. you even said it your self. that means you're operating from an internal deficit. So you need to 1) address that through journalling/meditation/therapy/etc and externally by building results. If you had 1million dollars would you really care about the cost of a $4 coffee?
3) You need to make positivity a habit. not in some ****ing bull**** woo woo way. but your clearly in a place way your not being objective because the negative of a situation is more clear to you than the positive.
4) I personally believe visiting sex workers is not in and of itself a bad thing. Some of them are in difficult life circumstances and you may not want that drama in your life. but some (often higher class and more expensive) sex workers are doing it from an empowered place and the fee your paying s more about paying for her attention than explicitly for sex since you'd be unlikely to meet her randomly and even if you did you may not make the best impression without money.

Cheers

 

[Jack12345]

Ok. I will focus more on myself and i won't talk to women. But am i not a loser if i don't have the balls to approach women? I see so many hot girls. The guys they are with aren't even that handsome. I feel like i'm missing all this opportunities and everyone else is having fun with this girls.
So do i have to in a better state first to be able to talk to women? Will it come naturally?

If you have balls, approach the biggest and toughest guy you see on street and try to annoy him until he wants to beat ur ass

Balls have nothing to do with that. Entitlement.

Some guys dont have problems with entitlement, they approach girls and still svcks because they like to be svckers

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I concur with others on this thread. You are seeking, whether you wish to admit it or not, ideal love or unconditional love. That is usually represented as maternal love to a man. If you didn’t get the love you needed from your mother then you are likely to have attachment issues and those play out in relationships with women since men with attachment issues do in fact have holes in their souls as @HyenaPrince notes.

The way this presents is exactly as you mentioned...a gnawing loneliness inside, desire for the external validation/admiration from a woman or women, and then anger, disillusionment and perhaps fear when it becomes obvious that the females you are involved with cannot quell your need for attention...and furthermore you subconsciously think less of women who do love you or try to love you because YOU do not love you.

Then what happens is the man becomes angry inside and directs that anger at women because it is less painful than doing the self examination and self growth that he MUST do to cease the need for external validation from others.

The man goes one of two ways depending on his attributes. Some men who have natural abundance with women (my recent ex BF is a sterling example of this) will use women as objects to get sex, validation, companionship and a dopamine hit via conquest to bolster self esteem...but it is empty and as they realize the emptiness they become more aggressive, more angry and possibly dangerous because of the rage that builds within them.

Alternatively men become fearful and afraid and begin further tearing themselves down because they feel unworthy to even start the process. I’d say you, OP fall into this group.

Both types suffer from the same ailment of low self esteem, lack of self love and craving for validation. The types who use women are more prone to damage others, the types who cannot get women are more prone to damage themselves.

Both types require self examination, self awareness (which both resist vehemently), and need to learn self love. Therapy may be useful...mindfulness, meditation etc.

You must be healed and whole to be able to sustain a healthy relationship. Work on yourself. Otherwise you’ll experience relationships that fail because you are damaged and you are in all your relationships.