I don't WANT the game to work how it does, but I now ACCEPT it...

[nomorebetaBS]

I think this has been the hardest thing for me. Even after years of knowing to some extent how sh1tty this game can be, I never really KNEW or truly ACCEPTED it. It takes more than a bit of reading and being burned a few times to really internalize it. I needed a real hurtful experience in addition to reading recommended material, others' stories, and all the lessons and insights from more experienced guys here which is really opening my eyes.

Even though I logically accepted the red pill a while ago, I never truly understood how deep my blue-pilling went, which caught up with me in the way I handled myself in the story I recently posted. But I'm taking time, reading , and sorting out my life situations and once I have the right mix of time and mindset, I will put myself through the grinder to start getting good at this like I should have done over a decade ago.

But I still don't WANT the game to work the way it does. It feels ridiculous and counter-intuitive for things like showing interest, giving compliments, and having time for someone to be such negative things that tend to kill your chances. Was there always this neurotic game going on where all those things must be perceived with such a negative spin and relations must boil down to some kind of struggle for power and competition to show the LEAST interest in the other? Maybe that's an exaggeration, but sometimes it feels like ANY behavior can end up being a mistake that ruins your chances with someone.

Was there a simpler time when people were excited to meet interesting, interested people and those aforementioned things increased the enjoyment of the experience and helped move it forward? When people liked being complimented, having their interest matched, and knowing the person they like has time for them? Or has it always been a blue-pill fantasy to brainwash us into the beta crap so many of us have lost so many opportunities over?

Either way, I'm leaning to shake off the programmed mentalities that keep me wishing the game didn't work the way it does. I've lost nearly 2 decades of what could have been a much more satisfying life because my eyes were not open, but they are now and I will learn to get the best out of the years ahead of me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's tough man...its like just when you think you settle in and let your guard down a little the monet you do things start going sideways.

 

[nomorebetaBS]

I hear you. I've had those moments with women and other situations in life. I'm learning not to get too comfortable like I have something in the bag until I actually know I do, which requires having the game down enough to accurately make that judgment.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Indeed. It's a tough reality to accept and even tougher to embrace and participate.

Up until about 3rd grade, you could just walk up to a girl and say that you'd like them to be your girlfriend. Unfortunately, as we age, we've (and this includes men as well) become socially 'cocooned.' We are more guarded, more self-conscious etc...

Although we can't change the mentality dynamics, we can change things about ourselves. For instance; I used to wonder why the girls I didn't find so attractive (not ugly or anything, but just didn't 'do it for me') would flirt with me -- meanwhile, girls equally outwardly attractive that I *was* attracted to ... were more difficult to obtain.

The reality to my above 'mystery' is now easy to understand. I was (unknowingly and subconsciously) projecting a different image toward the females that I found attractive.

This isn't to imply that women always deserve a hall-pass for certain behaviors... but instead a way for us men to take ownership for negative outcomes from which we are responsible.

And by the way, I see that you are a newer member.
Welcome aboard.

 

[Young OG]

I think this has been the hardest thing for me. Even after years of knowing to some extent how sh1tty this game can be, I never really KNEW or truly ACCEPTED it. It takes more than a bit of reading and being burned a few times to really internalize it. I needed a real hurtful experience in addition to reading recommended material, others' stories, and all the lessons and insights from more experienced guys here which is really opening my eyes.

Even though I logically accepted the red pill a while ago, I never truly understood how deep my blue-pilling went, which caught up with me in the way I handled myself in the story I recently posted. But I'm taking time, reading , and sorting out my life situations and once I have the right mix of time and mindset, I will put myself through the grinder to start getting good at this like I should have done over a decade ago.

But I still don't WANT the game to work the way it does. It feels ridiculous and counter-intuitive for things like showing interest, giving compliments, and having time for someone to be such negative things that tend to kill your chances. Was there always this neurotic game going on where all those things must be perceived with such a negative spin and relations must boil down to some kind of struggle for power and competition to show the LEAST interest in the other? Maybe that's an exaggeration, but sometimes it feels like ANY behavior can end up being a mistake that ruins your chances with someone.

Was there a simpler time when people were excited to meet interesting, interested people and those aforementioned things increased the enjoyment of the experience and helped move it forward? When people liked being complimented, having their interest matched, and knowing the person they like has time for them? Or has it always been a blue-pill fantasy to brainwash us into the beta crap so many of us have lost so many opportunities over?

Either way, I'm leaning to shake off the programmed mentalities that keep me wishing the game didn't work the way it does. I've lost nearly 2 decades of what could have been a much more satisfying life because my eyes were not open, but they are now and I will learn to get the best out of the years ahead of me.

Unfortunately blue pill conditioning goes a lot deeper then many realize. Some people take longer then others to digest the red pill. Sometimes, I feel like I wish that I never found out about game and the red pill. But at the end of the day, I'm happy I do know about it. Its not a good feeling knowing that you have been lied to your whole life. Now that I know what women and this world are really like, it sometimes sickens me. All we can do is use our knowledge to our advantage towards women and this world. You are always learning. Just try to remain positive.

 

[nomorebetaBS]

The reality to my above 'mystery' is now easy to understand. I was (unknowingly and subconsciously) projecting a different image toward the females that I found attractive.

This isn't to imply that women always deserve a hall-pass for certain behaviors... but instead a way for us men to take ownership for negative outcomes from which we are responsible.

And by the way, I see that you are a newer member.
Welcome aboard.

Thanks. From what I see it really does require a lot of personal recalibration, and that involves swallowing the difficult pills (not just the main red one, but all the specific lessons it encompasses)

 

[nomorebetaBS]

Unfortunately blue pill conditioning goes a lot deeper then many realize. Some people take longer then others to digest the red pill. Sometimes, I feel like I wish that I never found out about game and the red pill. But at the end of the day, I'm happy I do know about it. Its not a good feeling knowing that you have been lied to your whole life. Now that I know what women and this world are really like, it sometimes sickens me. All we can do is use our knowledge to our advantage towards women and this world. You are always learning. Just try to remain positive.

Will do. It's hard breaking down that part of me that wants it to work the simplistic way. In the end, it just feels like it "should" be the right way. Maybe even how it would be had society not become so full of sh1t in so many ways. But I realize even that perspective might reflect the kind of butt-hurt one needs to get over to make the changes needed to succeed in this game.

So while I wish it wasn't like this, I am also glad I've found out what I have so I can learn to do the best I can given how the situation IS rather than how I want it to be.

 

[lostintime]

I think this has been the hardest thing for me. Even after years of knowing to some extent how sh1tty this game can be, I never really KNEW or truly ACCEPTED it. It takes more than a bit of reading and being burned a few times to really internalize it. I needed a real hurtful experience in addition to reading recommended material, others' stories, and all the lessons and insights from more experienced guys here which is really opening my eyes.

Even though I logically accepted the red pill a while ago, I never truly understood how deep my blue-pilling went, which caught up with me in the way I handled myself in the story I recently posted. But I'm taking time, reading , and sorting out my life situations and once I have the right mix of time and mindset, I will put myself through the grinder to start getting good at this like I should have done over a decade ago.

But I still don't WANT the game to work the way it does. It feels ridiculous and counter-intuitive for things like showing interest, giving compliments, and having time for someone to be such negative things that tend to kill your chances. Was there always this neurotic game going on where all those things must be perceived with such a negative spin and relations must boil down to some kind of struggle for power and competition to show the LEAST interest in the other? Maybe that's an exaggeration, but sometimes it feels like ANY behavior can end up being a mistake that ruins your chances with someone.

Was there a simpler time when people were excited to meet interesting, interested people and those aforementioned things increased the enjoyment of the experience and helped move it forward? When people liked being complimented, having their interest matched, and knowing the person they like has time for them? Or has it always been a blue-pill fantasy to brainwash us into the beta crap so many of us have lost so many opportunities over?

Either way, I'm leaning to shake off the programmed mentalities that keep me wishing the game didn't work the way it does. I've lost nearly 2 decades of what could have been a much more satisfying life because my eyes were not open, but they are now and I will learn to get the best out of the years ahead of me.

Yeah brotha. It's hard. I know.

Passion is the only other feeling that's ever made my heart feel the way it does about romantic love and sex. I truly think the latter has been designed...Yes, designed. It's a fake thing. Women do NOT feel that way. I don't give a f*ck what the romcoms try to tell you. Those lovey dovey feelings are, unfortunately, Male. Women are much more cerebral. They literally f*ck for two reasons. To provide for themselves (keep a man's attention: i.e. his wallet, his provisioning, etc.) or for reproductive purposes (guised as *pleasure* in 2020, which is really the force of life itself wanting us to make babies).

But your desire to be able to have interesting convos with women and have them perceive you as 'interesting' is really you trying to fill a hole within yourself. Do you really love yourself? I mean to you genuinely love your life and what you've done w/ it? Because if it is, and you have, you wouldn't be desiring that type of feeling from a woman whom you're romantic with. In fact, even Romance itself is a bull**** thing concocted by our society and produced at mass scale in order for betas to convince themselves they knew why woman were behaving in certain ways, that in fact are totally false, i.e. romcoms.

But the fact of the matter is, women don't give a **** about that kind of stuff the way you do. You're tied into wanting that from a woman when it literally isn't available to you. You're having a deep convo w/ a woman and you're thinking to yourself "Yeah this woman is so wonderful. She 'gets' me. Look at how much wonderful stuff we're talking about. I think I LOVE this woman. She completes me. My life will now be a daily harvest of joy, purpose and passion!"

You know what she's thinking?

"Which category is this MALE in?"

1. Provider/emotional support (Beta)
2. Guy I'm sexually attracted to (Alpha)
3. guy I can exploit (Omega)

That's it. Women don't communicate with men in the way you so desire. You ever hear a group of women talking? I mean actually hear them? Listen to the tone, pitch and sub communications. They have no desire to relate to a man in the way you desire.

I'm not saying they can't though. But if they do, it's only going to be because YOU embraced your purpose/passion in life. Therefore, when you do have conversations with people, both men and women, you can genuinely enjoy the conversation because you're being your authentic self. No acting/no props. People who are drawn into that will be the ones with whom you're truly compatible. The woman who show interest at that point will do so in a different way. It'll be more of an "in awe" feeling they have of you. Almost like a little girl looking up to their Dad. Yeah bro. An alpha romantic connection with a woman is that deep for women. But guys who yearn for the "woman I can talk to take on life together with" attitude find it strange and think it feels wrong. It's because, again, they think a woman can complete them. They think having a woman will make them happy for the rest of their lives.

That's not what women are for, nor what they want to be for. Why do you think rich and famous older men always have some dime on their arms? Because those guys have conquered life. Their souls are truly fulfilled. They know that women are essentially just good for p*ssy, cooking and making sure her man are comfortable. And do you know what? Women want that **** as well. I swear to God they do. But since there are so many betas everywhere, women are looking for new ways to have that fulfillment. They become "Career" women.

It's so crazy to be on the other side of this to and see how matter of fact women are in their dealings w/ men on the low key, covert tip while hiding behind the guise of "romance" and wanting to find "her soul mate". I mean it's downright comical.

 

[logicallefty]

OP the title of your post alone means you are wise. None of us like how it works, and none of us can change the collective of game. All we can do is learn it, adapt to it, and leverage it to our own benefit without getting Et’ by a Wolf and shyt off a cliff.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah brotha. It's hard. I know.

Passion is the only other feeling that's ever made my heart feel the way it does about romantic love and sex. I truly think the latter has been designed...Yes, designed. It's a fake thing. Women do NOT feel that way. I don't give a f*ck what the romcoms try to tell you. Those lovey dovey feelings are, unfortunately, Male. Women are much more cerebral. They literally f*ck for two reasons. To provide for themselves (keep a man's attention: i.e. his wallet, his provisioning, etc.) or for reproductive purposes (guised as *pleasure* in 2020, which is really the force of life itself wanting us to make babies).

But your desire to be able to have interesting convos with women and have them perceive you as 'interesting' is really you trying to fill a hole within yourself. Do you really love yourself? I mean to you genuinely love your life and what you've done w/ it? Because if it is, and you have, you wouldn't be desiring that type of feeling from a woman whom you're romantic with. In fact, even Romance itself is a bull**** thing concocted by our society and produced at mass scale in order for betas to convince themselves they knew why woman were behaving in certain ways, that in fact are totally false, i.e. romcoms.

But the fact of the matter is, women don't give a **** about that kind of stuff the way you do. You're tied into wanting that from a woman when it literally isn't available to you. You're having a deep convo w/ a woman and you're thinking to yourself "Yeah this woman is so wonderful. She 'gets' me. Look at how much wonderful stuff we're talking about. I think I LOVE this woman. She completes me. My life will now be a daily harvest of joy, purpose and passion!"

You know what she's thinking?

"Which category is this MALE in?"

1. Provider/emotional support (Beta)
2. Guy I'm sexually attracted to (Alpha)
3. guy I can exploit (Omega)

That's it. Women don't communicate with men in the way you so desire. You ever hear a group of women talking? I mean actually hear them? Listen to the tone, pitch and sub communications. They have no desire to relate to a man in the way you desire.

I'm not saying they can't though. But if they do, it's only going to be because YOU embraced your purpose/passion in life. Therefore, when you do have conversations with people, both men and women, you can genuinely enjoy the conversation because you're being your authentic self. No acting/no props. People who are drawn into that will be the ones with whom you're truly compatible. The woman who show interest at that point will do so in a different way. It'll be more of an "in awe" feeling they have of you. Almost like a little girl looking up to their Dad. Yeah bro. An alpha romantic connection with a woman is that deep for women. But guys who yearn for the "woman I can talk to take on life together with" attitude find it strange and think it feels wrong. It's because, again, they think a woman can complete them. They think having a woman will make them happy for the rest of their lives.

That's not what women are for, nor what they want to be for. Why do you think rich and famous older men always have some dime on their arms? Because those guys have conquered life. Their souls are truly fulfilled. They know that women are essentially just good for p*ssy, cooking and making sure her man are comfortable. And do you know what? Women want that **** as well. I swear to God they do. But since there are so many betas everywhere, women are looking for new ways to have that fulfillment. They become "Career" women.

It's so crazy to be on the other side of this to and see how matter of fact women are in their dealings w/ men on the low key, covert tip while hiding behind the guise of "romance" and wanting to find "her soul mate". I mean it's downright comical.

They do think it's "romance" and they do think they're looking for their "soulmate".

 

[lostintime]

They do think it's "romance" and they do think they're looking for their "soulmate".

Nah man that's a cover. They do that stuff to get and keep a man.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Nah man that's a cover. They do that stuff to get and keep a man.

They repeat the same things as their friends. Many go thru endless pump and dumps trying to get the guys they want and they think their looking for a soulmate. All those interactions to them are romance. Or maybe you do have it right. I need to reread the manipulated man.

 

[nomorebetaBS]

It doesn't seem unreasonable to think there could be many of both types- those who truly think they are doing it for romance and those who conscientiously do it as a cover. Whether it's either or both, it still supports the notion that it's bull**** and will lead to manipulative games so it's best to be armed with the tools not to fall into it to begin with.

But your desire to be able to have interesting convos with women and have them perceive you as 'interesting' is really you trying to fill a hole within yourself. Do you really love yourself? I mean to you genuinely love your life and what you've done w/ it? Because if it is, and you have, you wouldn't be desiring that type of feeling from a woman whom you're romantic with.

You've hit on something here for me. Even though I haven't been looking for those feelings for a long time, my last situation found me letting my guard down and getting too invested anyway and I think it's due to what you're saying. I do have holes in me that need to be filled. I have self-love to an extent (that I have to qualify it that way is its own problem I suppose), but the amount I do have is in SPITE of how I feel about my life and what I've done (or failed to do) with it. I'm not so down on myself that I'm a displeasure to be around or anything like that, but it does seem likely that it's come through sometimes even when I've thought I was putting my best foot forward and led to blown opportunities with women and other things in life.

 

[lostintime]

It doesn't seem unreasonable to think there could be many of both types- those who truly think they are doing it for romance and those who conscientiously do it as a cover. Whether it's either or both, it still supports the notion that it's bull**** and will lead to manipulative games so it's best to be armed with the tools not to fall into it to begin with.



You've hit on something here for me. Even though I haven't been looking for those feelings for a long time, my last situation found me letting my guard down and getting too invested anyway and I think it's due to what you're saying. I do have holes in me that need to be filled. I have self-love to an extent (that I have to qualify it that way is its own problem I suppose), but the amount I do have is in SPITE of how I feel about my life and what I've done (or failed to do) with it. I'm not so down on myself that I'm a displeasure to be around or anything like that, but it does seem likely that it's come through sometimes even when I've thought I was putting my best foot forward and led to blown opportunities with women and other things in life.

What's difficult with this line of thinking is that it completely goes against the grain of what our culture/society brainwashed you with. We are literally, as men, brainwashed into thinking we need the unconditional love of a woman in order to feel good about ourselves. I can tell you right now that I didn't truly get existentially depressed with dating/women/love until after I had banged 30+ women. I realized that women weren't going for the nice guy stuff, so I did the complete opposite. I learned game. I learned how to bang a-lot of women. And you know what? I was even more depressed than when I was a sex starved nice guy. The reason I was depressed is because I was doing everything in my power to ignore the true nature of women. I was trying my best to CONTROL how women responded to me in hopes I could find one who would be loyal and love me unconditionally. What I wasn't doing, however, was learning how to love and respect myself.


It's not easy. In fact, it's incredibly hard. However, if you can face the reality of the situation for what it is, you're then able to start mapping out a blueprint for your life that will eventually lead you to authentic contentment and happiness.

 

[Medina]

It feels ridiculous and counter-intuitive for things like showing interest, giving compliments, and having time for someone to be such negative things that tend to kill your chances.

Theres a chick I know whos been texting me every day for 2 years and chasing like mad

In those 2 years, I reached out ONCE and asked her if she was free at the weekend

She now jokes that I "begged" to see her lol. All because of that tiny and rare interest

Women are utterly retarded dude. Drop all this "love" crap and realize it

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Theres a chick I know whos been texting me every day for 2 years and chasing like mad

In those 2 years, I reached out ONCE and asked her if she was free at the weekend

She now jokes that I "begged" to see her lol. All because of that tiny and rare interest

Women are utterly retarded dude. Drop all this "love" crap and realize it

Have you ever banged her?

 

[nomorebetaBS]

Women are utterly retarded dude. Drop all this "love" crap and realize it

While I wouldn't say I was stuck on the "love" crap specifically, I was still stuck in my programming enough to catch some feelings last time I messed up and fell into a woman's frame even when it started off just hoping to smash. So either way what you say applies, one could just as easily say drop the "feelings" crap but it's the same general idea either way. I'm getting past it.

This is just a big misconception. I show interest, give compliments, and make time for women and I have no problem attracting them. But that's because I don't care about outcome and I'm not fishing for reciprocity. If someone isn't interested in me or can't make time or plays games, I just move on.

Maybe it's just a matter of getting better at picking the right times and ways to do these things. And I definitely do need to become more outcome independent and quicker at filtering out the low-interest/won't make time/game-playing women

There were no "simpler times" when you just told a girl "I like you" and she went along with it, outside of forced marriages. Women don't want the story spoiled for them or to be explained the obvious like a child. They want mystery and adventure. It was ever thus. But if you feel like you're jumping through hoops or playing games rather than just living a mysterious and adventurous life, then you're making it harder than it has to be.

Keep learning and growing but don't let it embitter you. Life is a carnival.

Though I wondered about simpler times, I didn't wonder if they'd necessarily be THAT simple, just simpler than nowadays at least. But even if there was such a time it wouldn't do me much good anyway since the world is how it is now and that's the world I have to live in, so I'm better off learning to deal with reality than wishing it could be how I want it to be.

Really been appreciating all the responses, I do feel like I am learning more here than ever before.

 

[nomorebetaBS]

The more I think about it, I'm not surprised it took me this long to understand these things. I was raised mostly by my aunt and grandmother, mom had too many issues to do the raising but was still present. And my grandmother's sister lived with us too, and had one daughter basically raised as a sister to my mom and aunt and who was also very present in my life. And I had one sister before my dad remarried and had 2 daughters, so there I was growing up with my mom, aunt, grandmother, great aunt, cousin, 3 sisters, and step-mom. Add in mostly female teachers and it really paints a picture- a life of looking "up" to women, trying to please them and become what they would approve of. Even if the blue-pill wasn't the norm, I was almost guaranteed to turn out beta no matter what.

My dad didn't get custody (for reasons I actually agree with looking back, too personal to get into) so I only saw him on weekends, and he did the best he could in many ways but didn't get enough chances to do real "Dad-ing". And honestly, any advice about women I might have gotten from him would probably have been pretty blue-pilled. The rest of the women I grew up with never talked to me about any of this stuff, so while they didn't directly blue-pill me with bad advice or anything, I'm sure I indirectly absorbed wrong messages and lessons throughout all those years.

So with all that, plus all the blue-pilled messaging splattered all over tv shows and movies regarding dating, attraction, what women "want", etc., there was almost no chance I wouldn't turn out how I did. And while I had my frustrating moments where I was ready to TRY to break out of all of it and learn better (and did find things that helped SOME, for how little work I put in ), I never found anything that provided perspectives on the how's and why's of all this that really broke me down until recently with the red pill stuff and these forums.

So I'm not seeing this as a new chapter for me. It's a whole new book, and I'm on chapter one.