Is cold approaching a fundamentally non-normal activity?

[MatureDJ]

Put yourself in a situation where you meet lots of women. Join a university, hobby group,dance group or even volunteer.

Don't waste your time going out for the sole purpose of cold approaching

Hobbymaxing doesn't work as it's turned into a sausage fest:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/clx8k7

 

[nicksaiz65]

Hobbymaxing doesn't work as it's turned into a sausage fest:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/clx8k7

That's why you should meet women everywhere imo. Instead of solely relying on your hobbies. It is nice when you can meet a woman through your hobbies though.

Thanks for the link

 

[Jack12345]

man would that ever make things simple....knowing if she's wearing a flower behind her ear that one could approach. Why don't we have this type of known worldwide signal for IOI's?

There are enough signs women gives when they want men approach. Is less notable in cold environments

 

[mickdollaz]

It's not "normal" in the statistical sense, meaning very few men cold approach, and the ones who do, don't cold approach frequently.
There was that subsection of men, the nerdy, overly enthused pua types who did spam approach, sometimes in groups, but that era is long gone.

However, cold approaches by good looking men are almost always welcome.

I don't see how this is even a question anymore with millions if not billions of paranoid people afraid of a fake virus that's only been seen in cartoonland.

 

[Jack12345]

Hobbymaxing doesn't work as it's turned into a sausage

Didnt read the reddit but this fundamentally right and wrong. In my opinion you maturedj are too care about what women would like or dont, could be the result of investigating the media for too long

 

[mickdollaz]

I don't wanna be too harsh as these are wackadoodle times, but I do get the sense that maturedj is too fixated on these sensationalistic, extreme media stories and treats them as if they were the norm.

 

[Jack12345]

I don't wanna be too harsh as these are wackadoodle times, but I do get the sense that maturedj is too fixated on these sensationalistic, extreme media stories and treats them as if they were the norm.

I agree with most of his stuff and like his posts. The thing is that this is not matter. Putting your focus on what other men do wrong is saying "I wont do this cause I dont wanna be categorized into this". You're not. You just let go and whatever comes out is for better. The fear of doing things is result of thinking that you're not enough smart to get things and stuck in the "never get this"

 

[mickdollaz]

Just because something is statistically rare doesn't make it bad. A small percentage of individuals make $100,000 per more in salary and/or earnings, but this isn't a "bad thing."

A small percentage of men cold approach and an even smaller percentage are consistently successful. It is very, very rare for a man to successfully date beautiful women consistently from cold approach however.

The reality is, the vast majority of men will not benefit from cold approaching and the more they do it, the greater a waste of time it becomes. Most men recognize this even before getting started so it's a moot point.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just because something is statistically rare doesn't make it bad. A small percentage of individuals make $100,000 per more in salary and/or earnings, but this isn't a "bad thing."

A small percentage of men cold approach and an even smaller percentage are consistently successful. It is very, very rare for a man to successfully date beautiful women consistently from cold approach however.

The reality is, the vast majority of men will not benefit from cold approaching and the more they do it, the greater a waste of time it becomes. Most men recognize this even before getting started so it's a moot point.

Social people will speak to people in their environment and some phone numbers are gotten. It's not viewed as "cold approach" or PUA.

 

[Jack12345]

The reality is, the vast majority of men will not benefit from cold approaching and the more they do it, the greater a waste of time it becomes. Most men recognize this even before getting started so it's a moot point.

This doesnt matter. Rationalization is not letting go. This is stuck in the head. Vast majority doesnt matter.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't wanna be too harsh as these are wackadoodle times, but I do get the sense that maturedj is too fixated on these sensationalistic, extreme media stories and treats them as if they were the norm.

I have never tried to purport that they were the norm, but rather anecdotal. That said, every data point is a data point.

 

[mickdollaz]

Simple question: does fixating on the most depressing events on the planet help YOUR dating life or does it hinder it?
Because ultimately, you should do everything in your power to HELP yourself rather than to focus on what's going to make you angry, or fearful or depressed or all three.

 

[SW15]

It's not "normal" in the statistical sense, meaning very few men cold approach, and the ones who do, don't cold approach frequently.
There was that subsection of men, the nerdy, overly enthused pua types who did spam approach, sometimes in groups, but that era is long gone.

I've been surprised at how men haven't been approaching as much as I would have thought in recent years. A lot of that approaching volume has shifted into sliding into DMs and swipe apps.

 

[mickdollaz]

Spam cold approach PUA had a huge spike in activity right around 2005 and sustained some momentum into the early 2010's.

Dating apps have gained a ton of traction since 2015 or so.

Web/computer based online dating has been around for at least a decade and probably more popular with 30+ divorced folks who haven't suffered from the same level of phone addiction as millenials.

The clubs and bars have been packed and never let up at all from 2005 until of course march 2020. There was never going to be a large dip in nightlife were it not for, you know. Even past march 2020, bars have been enormously popular whenever bar owners have been allowed or taken the risk of opening. In this sense, cold approach + alcohol has never dipped in popularity.

What HAS dropped precipitously in popularity was an unusual form of daygame cold approach being marketed by fastseduction, mystery, rsd, etc.

 

[SW15]

Spam cold approach PUA had a huge spike in activity right around 2005 and sustained some momentum into the early 2010's.

Dating apps have gained a ton of traction since 2015 or so.

Web/computer based online dating has been around for at least a decade and probably more popular with 30+ divorced folks who haven't suffered from the same level of phone addiction as millenials.

The clubs and bars have been packed and never let up at all from 2005 until of course march 2020. There was never going to be a large dip in nightlife were it not for, you know. Even past march 2020, bars have been enormously popular whenever bar owners have been allowed or taken the risk of opening. In this sense, cold approach + alcohol has never dipped in popularity.

What HAS dropped precipitously in popularity was an unusual form of daygame cold approach being marketed by fastseduction, mystery, rsd, etc.

30+? Try 45 or 50+. People in their 30s are phone addicted Millennials using swipe apps. Match.com launched in 1995 and was de-stigmatized by 2005.

Bar and club approaching was near constant from 2005 until March 2020. I think apps did take some luster from it. I agree that it was not a large dip but I think there was definitely a small dip.

There have may been an increase in nonbar venue cold approaching in the late 2000s/early 2010s but at best its always been a bit of a nichey activity.

 

[mickdollaz]

There was just no way for daytime cold approach to ever "approach" any minimal level threshold of "making sense" except in a handful of cities. Even then, the complete lack of social intelligence of those pua nerds got most of them kicked out of just about any appealing high traffic areas such as shopping malls.

The better looking guys who got into that nerdy sh-t had decent success, and the rest got on occasional nibble from the very bottom of the barrel. It was always a scam.

 

[metalwater]

No matter what the nerd does, no matter what level he achieves, there is always some micro-calibration that he missed. He is always one step behind. But rest assure because there is a product for that.

is that red pill or black pill ? or neither. are you telling, once a nerd always a nerd?

 

[forcerecon01]

The original scammer was Neil Strauss. He explained in his book "The Game" that in social tribes, your status is set in stone. But in a transient environment like a nightclub, women don't know who you are so you have a fresh start. A clean slate to rewrite your entire life history and project an aura of an attractive guy. This is why nerds and losers LOVE pickup. It gives them a chance to short circuit women's vetting.

It looks good in theory. Accept when you apply it and see that it falls apart.

First of all, there is no such thing as mistakes in nature. If you are a chump in your social tribes, you will express a distorted aura in the clubs.

Some of the time, it will come across in the form of over-compensating behavior. A PUA comes from the frame of lower value and feels like he needs to do something special to win a woman over (The very basis of all PUA game). So he over-compensates hardcore and gets blown out left and right.

Other times he's too damn needy because he doesn't have a social life and normal, organic interactions with women on a daily basis. His stink of neediness is subtle to him, but VERY OBVIOUS AND REPELLING to women.

I'll give you guys an example. A "natural" from a social tribe knows that women are already attracted to him. He has women seducing him daily. This gives him a sense of entitlement (Something PUA's do not have). So he is automatically less needy when he goes out. His entitlement also protects him from over-compensating. So he's not going to try hard. He's just going to give the woman a bait. She can take it or leave it. This is the REAL street pickup game. It is something a PUA can never pull of consistently due to lack of entitlement.

I never said that pickup doesn't work. It certainly works for me and guys like me. It just doesn't work for nerds. There is no hacking the matrix. If you are a nerd in your social tribes, then you are a nerd everywhere. Women can pick up on your sub-communications.

So now the nerd is stuck in a perpetual loop of trying to calibrate with the right "game" to compensate for his lack of frame and value. And this is perfect for the PUA marketers. It was enough for them to carve out a nice 15 year career as online seduction gurus.

No matter what the nerd does, no matter what level he achieves, there is always some micro-calibration that he missed. He is always one step behind. But rest assure because there is a product for that.

PUA Mystery seemed like a nerd but he put in hard work to get to be a Guru. Did Mystery grow out of being a nerd if he ever was or is he filled with fake promises?

 

[mickdollaz]

The more important point is that PUA basically became a full-on cult, full of weird mind control practices, and hardcore us vs them rigid beliefs.

The "faith" basically promised a form of heaven on earth: endless lays with 10's if you only found the right guru's with the right techniques who could mold you into some super PUA, where you slayed p-ssy instead of interstellar flying dragons.

Amazingly, it was the far left feminist "karens" who actually saved these nerds from themselves. Irony of all ironies...

PUA Mystery seemed like a nerd but he put in hard work to get to be a Guru. Did Mystery grow out of being a nerd if he ever was or is he filled with fake promises?

Mystery was a hard core nerd, basically from the goth/gamer subgroup of high school losers who were at the very bottom of the totem pole socially.

There was never any clear evidence of his supposed or alleged prowess in pickup. I think there is some actual raw footage of him making out with a granny...

 

[mickdollaz]

Mystery was an extreme nerd. He's no longer a public figure, but I'm sure he still is (a nerd) in the same way that Jeff Bezos or Bill Gates will always be beta males regardless of how much money they have vs a ranked MMA fighter who will always be an alpha regardless of how little money he has.

The goth gamer nerd is at rock bottom of the social hierarchy among both teens and adults, and the goth gamer and more "mainstream" engineer nerd gamer overlap communities overlap extensively. And of course there is significant overlap between those two and the pua nerd community, or at least there was.

The PUA community never really went away, it just crawled backwards away from the limelight. As long as there are single male nerds (an endless supply for around a couple of decades), the demand for something like PUA will always be there.