Been seeing her a few months now. Chemistry is off the charts in every way. Legit one of the only women I've ever dated who I legitimately enjoy hanging out with beyond sex. Problem is, I'm falling for her. Big time. Like it's difficult for me to talk to other women because I have such strong feelings for her and only want to see her. I don't know if she's talking to anyone else, but I want her to myself at this point--I want to be exclusive. Is there any way for me to tell her I want us to be exclusive without losing "frame" or whatever?
Falling in love with the woman I've been seeing
- Thread starter .Paradox.
- Start date
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Are you guys physical yet? The forum consensus will probably say SHE has to desire for it to be committed. Try to lock you down. Experience guys will also say she might try to "flood" you with sex but it's no guarantee that it'll stay like that.
Do not tell her you want to be exclusive. Control yourself. You guys get along well, are having sex and things are fine.
It’s imperative SHE brings up exclusivity first.
I sense the neediness building up inside of you, do not manifest this in your interactions with her.
Do it my way, things will workout.
Yeah we've been physical since the start.
I really just don't want her seeing other dudes at this point. I don't know if she is, but since I'm feeling this kind of way for her I either want to take the relationship up a notch and be exclusive or walk. I'm not trying to see her for however long, then all of a sudden she breaks it off and I'm left burned. Walking now would suck, but I feel like waiting longer and having to walk would be even worse.
BackInTheGame78
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This is a female mindset. That is what THEY do. Sometimes a woman will simply stop seeing a guy they really like because they feel they will never be exclusive with them or are seeing other women.
Its not your job to push for a relationship and not your job to try and lock her down. That is HER job.
bcude
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Man, you've been here 10 years and ask beginner questions, with all due respect. It's a beautiful thing to feel this strongly for someone, but as others have said:
Your job is to have fun dates and have sex with her.
Her job is to suggest an exclusive relationship.
You don't want her to see other dudes? She will and there's nothing you can do to stop it, women are natural plate spinners. That's just how it works. Your job is to be her best option so she will voluntarily drop all other options to be with you. You don't remove women out of the sexual market, they remove themselves from the market because they want to be with you. Go against this and you'll eventually fail.
It sounds easy in theory but be her best option and you won't have to worry about that anymore.
This ultimatum thing is just weak and comes from neediness, this is not a good basis for a relationship and sets up for unhealthy codependence. You'll probably end up as the very jealous type.
Your job is to have fun dates and have sex with her.
Her job is to suggest an exclusive relationship.
You don't want her to see other dudes? She will and there's nothing you can do to stop it, women are natural plate spinners. That's just how it works. Your job is to be her best option so she will voluntarily drop all other options to be with you. You don't remove women out of the sexual market, they remove themselves from the market because they want to be with you. Go against this and you'll eventually fail.
It sounds easy in theory but be her best option and you won't have to worry about that anymore.
This ultimatum thing is just weak and comes from neediness, this is not a good basis for a relationship and sets up for unhealthy codependence. You'll probably end up as the very jealous type.
zekko
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Your letting your feelings get ahead of the situation. I know it's hard to control your feelings, but you have to try. At least stop feeding into them. I know how it is, you've let your imagination get out of hand, you need to let things happen naturally. Keep it in a lower gear. That way you'll function better, and even if she does break it off, it won't be so devastating.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
It would recommend you buy about 24 dozen red roses and a teddy bear with a card that reads "I'm falling in love with you. You are everything I've been searching for my whole life. Will you be mine?" Don't forget the chocolate kisses candy.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
To a non entitled woman without a coal for a heart it might be taken to be an extremely sweet guesture that makes her feel appreciative.
To a woman in the game shes gonna think "whose this idiot doing all this extra?"
EyeBRollin
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Falling in love?
“Love” is a choice. You can choose it only for the woman who has earned it. Guy, we aren’t in the game for love. Women are for sex and eventually, procreation. Only after she’s proven adequate long term partner qualities should this even be a thought.
“Love” is a choice. You can choose it only for the woman who has earned it. Guy, we aren’t in the game for love. Women are for sex and eventually, procreation. Only after she’s proven adequate long term partner qualities should this even be a thought.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
lol more than likely she'll think he's creepy but aside from having some fun with my previous post, We can't even gauge her interest in HIM. He already mentioned that he doesn't know if she's talking to other guys, I'm willing to bet 99% she is, especially if shes attractive. So if his interest in her is skyrocketing and her's is not at the same rate, he's going to come out looking desperate for her. It's the same o'l story..... Women wanting to tie guys down who show low to medium interest instead of the guys that show high interest. Women arent as excited about the high interest guys, there are some exceptions but for the most part it's the same story.
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mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She could be "talking" to other guys but if our forum member is hittting it consistently its not likely someone else is in there that much. Most women who talk to alot of guys would space out a day or two between sticks. And she may very well be only fvcking one guy and stringing 10 or more along.
Visionist
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Pride and ego have us mark women as our territory when the sex is good and plentiful. This is an ancient instinct going back to caveman days, when passing your genes on was everything. Hey, no movies or tennis to occupy your time in those days. Just danger.
Here's the hitch: this instinct doesn't have to apply to just one woman at a time. The leader takes every fertile woman and the followers make do with the leftover women, if that.
Don't be a follower.
Here's the hitch: this instinct doesn't have to apply to just one woman at a time. The leader takes every fertile woman and the followers make do with the leftover women, if that.
Don't be a follower.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Possibly yes but i can only speak from experience, Women are extremely covert with who they're banging. I'm willing to bet she's at the minimum banging 2 guys. OP and another dude. At what frequency? we cant be sure but again, im willing to bet she's getting at least 2 pipes in there.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Yes. In the 2 guys situation one guy is the priority. So they don't get equal time in the saddle. If the top guy is game aware he doesnt want her. He pump and dumps and she's longing for more of his attention. Occasionally she "cheats" on him with guy 2. But she really wants guy 1.
OP, have you taken a trip with her yet? Have you guys ever gotten into an argument or disagreement yet?
These are two milestone markers to even begin to contemplate on moving forward with someone into the serious territory.
Right now, you need to find out in various ways if she likes you and how much. Has she given any clues?
If she's very chill about things, you could be HER plate now.
These are two milestone markers to even begin to contemplate on moving forward with someone into the serious territory.
Right now, you need to find out in various ways if she likes you and how much. Has she given any clues?
If she's very chill about things, you could be HER plate now.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
This exactly.
HyenaPrince
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Do you know what the problem is? Even after you manage to surpass the first hurdle, namely getting exclusive with her, she will be a constant hustle. She will be so heavily high-maintenance that you're going to wish you were single again.
By judging your attraction level towards her, it's easy to tell you're only going to be even more attached and needy later on. You want her for yourself. It sounds like you're yelling inside your head "If she could only love me!". She probably already smelled your desperation and knows she has the whip hand, if you're not an impeccable actor that is.
I would really advise you to see other women on the side. This will cool you down and knock her off the pedestal. Trust me, you need it. Badly!
By judging your attraction level towards her, it's easy to tell you're only going to be even more attached and needy later on. You want her for yourself. It sounds like you're yelling inside your head "If she could only love me!". She probably already smelled your desperation and knows she has the whip hand, if you're not an impeccable actor that is.
I would really advise you to see other women on the side. This will cool you down and knock her off the pedestal. Trust me, you need it. Badly!
