Smart People Have Less Friends

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
I saw this video, I thought it was interesting. To briefly summarize, it says that dumb people tend to be happier around other people, and that smart people tend to be happier when they are alone. It talks about how geniuses like Newton and Tesla tend to have few friends.

It does make sense when you think of it. Smart people might be more focused on their mission and their interests than spending time with other people. They also might have less in common with most folk, because there are more dumb people than smart.

 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Interesting video. I always respected Tesla, but he was more peculiar than I realized.

Apparently, I'm not at "genius" level. In my youth, I couldn't wait to lose my virginity. I also use facebook.
Interesting enough though, it seems that my friends that are "friend collectors" on social media do seem to be the least intellectually enlightened.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,433
Reaction score
6,932
It's not smart people have lesser friends, it's nerds who has lesser friends because they don't hv normal EQ like other people.

But if it makes you nerds happier, feel free to think that way.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,426
Reaction score
307
I wish someone would have told my mom this back in high school!
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,641
Reaction score
1,349
Location
random
this is probably a truth.

my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.

separate smart vs wise. wise usually have many friends or contacts, scientists or engineers maybe not so many. a wise person will try to frame the situation to advantage, a smart person will try to understand and adjust the situation to advantage.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,122
Location
DFW, TX
this is probably a truth.

my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.

separate smart vs wise. wise usually have many friends or contacts, scientists or engineers maybe not so many. a wise person will try to frame the situation to advantage, a smart person will try to understand and adjust the situation to advantage.
Less "smart" people try to "sound more important" much more often.

So when your content has value does it make sense to argue or discuss with someone who doesn't value it?
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,641
Reaction score
1,349
Location
random
Less "smart" people try to "sound more important" much more often.

So when your content has value does it make sense to argue or discuss with someone who doesn't value it?
agree on the first thing. I think it leads up to trying to be wise.

sometimes for the second one, but only enough to make sure I get it; if there is time. many are busy with there response instead of trying to understand. I am not immune to that either. I enjoy learning, as silly as that sounds.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,122
Location
DFW, TX
agree on the first thing. I think it leads up to trying to be wise.

sometimes for the second one, but only enough to make sure I get it; if there is time. many are busy with there response instead of trying to understand. I am not immune to that either. I enjoy learning, as silly as that sounds.
Id rather listen than discuss my "thing" with people.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
my guesses as to why.

- it is easy to sound/feel important around someone that we perceive as not as smart and therefore feel good about ourselves.
- smaller IQ persons are more likely to admire us, therefore we like them.
- A smaller IQ person does not know or care all the reasons why they should be wary.
I think it's more that smart people are more interested in ideas than people.
We use the word "smart", but maybe it's more that some people are smarter in more social ways, as opposed to the kind of smarts measured by IQ. It may have more to do with personality types, where high IQ people's brains are more geared toward creativity, reasoning, and logic.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
I think it's more that smart people are more interested in ideas than people.
We use the word "smart", but maybe it's more that some people are smarter in more social ways, as opposed to the kind of smarts measured by IQ. It may have more to do with personality types, where high IQ people's brains are more geared toward creativity, reasoning, and logic.
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,122
Location
DFW, TX
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
Some folks hedge being right by repeating exactly what was said in the book. But will not share independent thought because it can be easily attacked.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Followup (hitting closer to the bone)

When reading a lot of advice given on this forum, I see a lot of "smart" members. In other words, it would appear that they've read a lot of pickup material and through memorization, will provide 'advice' that they've previously read to be gospel.

In many cases, the original post-person has mentioned outside variables. Many of those that responded, didn't actually look at the entire picture (or realized that they lacked a response for those variables) . Instead, they simply typed what they've memorized from previous reading material.

I feel rather confident in saying that many members here do not draw from their personal experiences or personal perspectives. Instead of applying introspection and actually learning from previous experiences... it's like they've studded hard for a test (reading pick up material hours upon hours) and are virtually raising their hand in class because they "know the answer."
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Some folks hedge being right by repeating exactly what was said in the book. But will not share independent thought because it can be easily attacked.
I disagree. People that have a genuine eagerness to learn new thought aren't afraid of being wrong or "attacked." It's quite the contrary. They are actually grateful for learning a new individual personal perspectives. In other words, ego takes a back seat to the intellect searching for new perspectives.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,122
Location
DFW, TX
I disagree. People that have a genuine eagerness to learn new thought aren't afraid of being wrong or "attacked." It's quite the contrary. They are actually grateful for learning a new perspective. In other words, ego takes a back seat to the intellect searching for new perspectives.
I was explaining why some
People do that. I know
A few. They are a bit more political and they actually do have independent thought. They simply won't share an unpopular position.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,122
Location
DFW, TX
I was explaining why some
People do that. I know
A few. They are a bit more political and they actually do have independent thought. They simply won't share an unpopular position.
Even if that position is right.
 

Epicenter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
1,012
Reaction score
379
Age
54
I'm thinking that there's a huge difference between people that are just smart and those that are intelligent.

I'm going to provide a couple of personal instances.

When I was fifteen, I was the typical school rebellion. I was more interested in playing guitar after school than doing homework. Consequently, my grades were barley passing. My girlfriend at the time, was a straight A student. I walked her home a lot and on one of these walks, I asked her some random philosophical question. It was the strangest thing. She could not formulate an opinion. Because she was so "smart" I could not understand this at all.

Later, I came to realize that "smart" people can memorize things well, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the skills (or even drive for that matter) to formulate independent thought.

Here's a more recent example. I belong to a philosophy group. My first thought was that I'll be able to meet like-minded people that are also in search of perspectives that aren't part of group-think or the mainstream. Boy, I was wrong about that! Nearly all members will quote things that they've previously read, but when asked a question that involved personal perspective, they seemed incapable.

In other words, the above parties are smart, but appear to lack intelligence.
I think both have their places. We specialize in different fields in life. It is good that not everybody is busy with philosophical questions.

Some people are good with philosophical topics some with practical topics. Both are intelligent. I think it's good to accept this.

The problem in both cases is that intelligent peope want to be more intelligent and lose contact to normal people. That is the nature of the beast I guess and we have to live with that but it's good for society.

An intelligent person has additionally the chance to do basic stuff to mix things up so he is more well-rounded. So this might help for his happiness.
 

Epicenter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
1,012
Reaction score
379
Age
54
If you want to be more intelligent go in an environment where people are more intelligent than you.

If you want to be more happy go into an environment where people have lower status it has been said
 
Top