"I like where we are"--interpretation?

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Saw her last night. Went for a drive, checked out the local fireworks stand (which doesn't sell anything cool), cooked burgers at her place, had sex a couple times, watched a movie. Was a good time. Nothing crazy to report.

We had been scheduling future dates the same night, but this time I didn't. I'm going to go silent for a few days to let her miss me and see if she comes to me (which she has before, so we'll see if she does again).

So, what I wanted to happen, happened. She hit me up last night...

Her: I would love to make you dinner sometime this week =)
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?
Her: Sounds good! Any requests?
Me: Surprise me. Chef's special
Her: =) Mkay

I was pretty excited about this, because it was proof in my mind that she IS thinking about me and cares enough to make a move. Then I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Can we do Sunday instead actually
Me: Yeah that's cool
Her: Thanks =)

I tried to play it as cool as possible. She DID reciprocate, which is good, but this seemed weird to me. She hits me up saying she wants to make me dinner, which screams high interest, we schedule a date, then within 12 hours reschedules the date to three days later.

 

[lamath]

So, what I wanted to happen, happened. She hit me up last night...

Her: I would love to make you dinner sometime this week =)
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?
Her: Sounds good! Any requests?
Me: Surprise me. Chef's special
Her: =) Mkay

I was pretty excited about this, because it was proof in my mind that she IS thinking about me and cares enough to make a move. Then I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Can we do Sunday instead actually
Me: Yeah that's cool
Her: Thanks =)

I tried to play it as cool as possible. She DID reciprocate, which is good, but this seemed weird to me. She hits me up saying she wants to make me dinner, which screams high interest, we schedule a date, then within 12 hours reschedules the date to three days later.

Should have posted here before anwsering her.
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?

This was very good.

But her changing thing to fit her term is not.
Very good spot to use the take away.

I would not be surprise if she change her mind again

 

[HyenaPrince]

Should have posted here before anwsering her.
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?

This was very good.

But her changing thing to fit her term is not.
Very good spot to use the take away.

I would not be surprise if she change her mind again

Yes. She will most likely do that.

 

[lamath]

Yes. She will most likely do that.

Actualy i wonder if its still time to use the take away

@Glassguy sorry man for the recent mentions but i know this is your forte

 

[HyenaPrince]

So, what I wanted to happen, happened. She hit me up last night...

Her: I would love to make you dinner sometime this week =)
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?
Her: Sounds good! Any requests?
Me: Surprise me. Chef's special
Her: =) Mkay

I was pretty excited about this, because it was proof in my mind that she IS thinking about me and cares enough to make a move. Then I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Can we do Sunday instead actually
Me: Yeah that's cool
Her: Thanks =)

I tried to play it as cool as possible. She DID reciprocate, which is good, but this seemed weird to me. She hits me up saying she wants to make me dinner, which screams high interest, we schedule a date, then within 12 hours reschedules the date to three days later.

Just reciprocate what she did. Text her that something important came up and that you're completely booked out for the weekend. I don't know your plans, but tell her it has to be Friday. Thursday is also not an option anymore because you already stepped on that bomb. If she wants to move back to Thursday you reveal that you've already made plans. Don't start bringing up that she rescheduled when she starts talking about why you're not available all of a sudden. This will make you look calculated and butthurt. To her, you have to look like she's nothing but a small entertainment session in your busy calendar.

 

[lamath]

Just reciprocate what she did. Text her that something important came up and that you're completely booked out for the weekend. I don't know your plans, but tell her it has to be Friday. Thursday is also not an option anymore because you already stepped on that bomb. If she wants to move back to Thursday you reveal that you've already made plans. Don't start bringing up that she rescheduled when she starts talking about why you're not available all of a sudden. This will make you look calculated and butthurt. To her, you have to look like she's nothing but a small entertainment session in your busy calendar.

Also the fact that she ia giving him a Sunday night says alot.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Also the fact that she ia giving him a Sunday night says alot.

Exactly. Sundays are boring and not interesting at all. Why not Friday or Saturday? What if you want to go out and have fun? She basically implies that he's not worth any of the fun and cool days. I bet they end up playing Monopoly. When it gets too late she might even play the "I got work tomorrow" card. Dangerous spot to be in OP.

 

[Robert28]

My God what a pain in the ass dating has become.

 

[rart]

lmao



What does a woman do to earn commitment?

She has to make room for you in her life, life if she actually did make whatever small sacrifice and cook you a dinner. Her rescheduling is not a good sign.

 

[rart]

on another note she is too young. 10 year age difference is great when you are 40 and she is 30. She is 18, she's a child.

 

[lamath]

My God what a pain in the ass dating has become.

Imo its only a pain if you let it be.

 

[Korrupt]

Just reciprocate what she did. Text her that something important came up and that you're completely booked out for the weekend. I don't know your plans, but tell her it has to be Friday. Thursday is also not an option anymore because you already stepped on that bomb. If she wants to move back to Thursday you reveal that you've already made plans. Don't start bringing up that she rescheduled when she starts talking about why you're not available all of a sudden. This will make you look calculated and butthurt. To her, you have to look like she's nothing but a small entertainment session in your busy calendar.

I wouldn't do this. It's just unnecessary game playing that's going to lead to further drama as well as anxiety in your mind. She wants Sunday? Good. It gives you a week to "detach" from her and see at least one other woman in the meantime. You think she's seeing other dudes? Good. You have the advantage because you've already built a month+ of rapport, attraction, and good sex with her, so it'll let her see how much better you are than the other guys.

Don't hit her up until Sunday, and the only text you should send Sunday is what time you'll be there/want dinner ready and what she should be wearing for you. Once again, use this time to see other women. This "reschedule" could end up being a FAVOR for you in every way.

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Also the fact that she ia giving him a Sunday night says alot.

We have hungout on fridays/saturdays before. We hungout friday and sunday last weekend, and the week before that wednesday and saturday or something. I'll admit I'd rather her have rescheduled friday or saturday, but I'm going to try to schedule a date for friday and saturday with other women if I can.

on another note she is too young. 10 year age difference is great when you are 40 and she is 30. She is 18, she's a child.

She's 28 and I'm 30...

 

[Robert28]

Imo its only a pain if you let it be.

Too much mind fvckery and game playing these days. It’s like you have to decode what women say because what they say always has some hidden meaning that you have to figure out.

 

[lamath]

Too much mind fvckery and game playing these days. It’s like you have to decode what women say because what they say always has some hidden meaning that you have to figure out.

I know but i think that crap can be avoided if you focus on what you want.

A game is played by 2 ppl let them play by themselves.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I wouldn't do this. It's just unnecessary game playing that's going to lead to further drama as well as anxiety in your mind. She wants Sunday? Good. It gives you a week to "detach" from her and see at least one other woman in the meantime. You think she's seeing other dudes? Good. You have the advantage because you've already built a month+ of rapport, attraction, and good sex with her, so it'll let her see how much better you are than the other guys.

Don't hit her up until Sunday, and the only text you should send Sunday is what time you'll be there/want dinner ready and what she should be wearing for you. Once again, use this time to see other women. This "reschedule" could end up being a FAVOR for you in every way.

It's not a matter of playing games or intentionally creating drama, but having principles and sticking to them. The present is immediately connected to the future, at any moment in time. If you start giving in when it comes to scheduling dates, your subconscious will hold you back a little bit next time. Then a little further the time after that.

So it's actually not about the immediate effect in the short-term, but rather about him creating a certain energy and personality that doesn't do ABC but XYZ, because XYZ leads to more confidence and assertiveness in the long-term. Will he lose some flings in the meantime because of that? You bet you a*s he will. But he will evolve and eventually attract even more qualitative women like a electromagnetic crane attracts pieces of metal on the junkyard.

Who am I to make a man decide when he should see a woman? Don't listen to me if you don't want to. But I've experienced this many times with women before. It feels damn good and thrilling when you know you call the shots. She will feel it even more intensive than you do.

 

[Lookatu]

She's on the c0ck carousel and has a better option for that day. You'll be moving in on sloppy seconds. I hope she cleans herself well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"I like were we are"... If you are dating and not fvcking her, it's a string along. IMHO she wants to keep things right were they
are at and use you for the emotional support.

"I like were we are"... If you are dating fvcking and doing fun things, it's avery good things to say, it means she likes it.

 

[Lookatu]

"I like were we are"... If you are dating fvcking and doing fun things, it's avery good things to say, it means she likes it.

In this case since the OP is actually fvcking her and doing fun things but since she just got out of a relationship, I interpret that to mean she's having a fun time with him but isn't looking to be tied down in any way at this point and still wants her freedom.

 

[Glassguy]

Actualy i wonder if its still time to use the take away

@Glassguy sorry man for the recent mentions but i know this is your forte

I only read OP's initial post so I dont know what has been updated since that.

A kiss of death is this: implying that you want a relationship with a woman, asking "what are we", etc. It shows a scarcity mindset, you have no other options and it shows that you are seeking her validation. None of which are good.

Your job as a man today is to provide a fun filled experience where sex can happen. Your job next week as a man is to provide a fun filled experience where sex can happen. Same for next month.

What is not your job: worrying about a relationship, wondering where you stand with a woman, etc. That is HER job.
OP is doing the woman's job and by taking the woman's role, she will no longer treat him like a man unless he changes his behavior ASAP.

I have been seeing the same woman now for almost 4 months. She is great. Smart, great career (Nurse Prac), 12 years younger than me, great in bed, she is fully invested. At no point do I ever talk about a relationship. That is her job. She drops major hints about the future. I dont (not that I havent thought about it, but I do not need to openly communicate everything I think about to a chick).

2 weeks ago I did a pull back. It was great. Kept her on her toes, made her think of ways to chase, etc. Last night I got the question laid out from her: "Do you see a future with me?". I kept my response consistent with my personality:
"Of course I do. I am sure we will cool off in the pool sometime this week, probably go to dinner at some point and more than likely we will fvck each other's brains out before the week's end ".

Obviously she knew that I was being sarcastic and what I meant, but I still didnt say it. I still have orbiters hitting me up on FB, Snap, IG and other platforms. Its good to have orbiters that are willing and ready for their shot.

But I will not be the one who brings up a relationship. Period. Its not my job.

When a man does this, he is essentially telling the woman that she has him and you will see her personality start to change.