Need help

[FruitLoops]

I recently went out with a girl i had been talking to for some time. It was our second time going out. Throughout my interactions with her from thw beginning i had made myself clear ( in an indirect way) about my intentions about dating and all.
Anyways, our date went perfectly well, we enjoyed and had good time. The issue came up when after dinner i held her hand leaned to kiss her, to which she got nervous and said, "dont do it, i am not ready yet." I leaned back and made a small joke and eventually we both left. That night she texts me feeling sorry for her behaviour and that she acted weird and said that she wants to get to know me more and enjoys spending time with me and appreciates my understanding. I couldnt think of a better reply, so i just acted ****y and funny and eventually wrote 'be seeing you', let me know if you want to meet again and ended the conversation.
I have a few doubts:
1. Am i correct to assume that this girl is simply leading me on and doesnt have plans to escalate things.
2. Secondly, should i still keep talking to her and eventually make another plan to meet up? Or should i wait for her to make plans this time.
3. Thirdly, if by some chance, we agree to meet, should i still try to kiss her again. Not to sound desperate for a kiss or anything here but i just need to basically know if things really have a chance to escalate or am i wasting my time here.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Is she attractive?

 

[FruitLoops]

Is she attractive?

She is a 7. So yeah she is kind of attractive.

 

[HyenaPrince]

She is a 7. So yeah she is kind of attractive.

Does she seem like a woman that goes out with people rather often (bars, restaurants, clubs etc.)?

 

[rart]

Don't overthink this. Book another date and go for it next time.

 

[FruitLoops]

Does she seem like a woman that goes out with people rather often (bars, restaurants, clubs etc.)?

Nope. She is an Indian. She doesnt drink and at least told me that she doesnt. Even on our date when i offered her a drink she refused. Also, from her behaviour she looks the kind that doesnt often go out.

 

[FruitLoops]

Don't overthink this. Book another date and go for it next time.

Are you saying that i should try kissing her again as well?

 

[HyenaPrince]

Nope. She is an Indian. She doesnt drink and at least told me that she doesnt. Even on our date when i offered her a drink she refused. Also, from her behaviour she looks the kind that doesnt often go out.

There you go. In that case it's her cultural instinct that makes her pull away. Maybe she feels like a slut or is afraid that someone might see her. Doesn't matter what she feels or thinks. Since I don't know whether she showed any IOI it's hard to tell if she's truly attracted to you.

In this particular scenario I'd give her one more date. Escalate it slowly in a cozy environment and then go for the kill. If she rejects you again, you know what to do. I wouldn't deal with that kosher bullsh*t. You're investing time and probably also money in that girl.

 

[FruitLoops]

There you go. In that case it's her cultural instinct that makes her pull away. Maybe she feels like a slut or is afraid that someone might see her. Doesn't matter what she feels or thinks. Since I don't know whether she showed any IOI it's hard to tell if she's truly attracted to you.

In this particular scenario I'd give her one more date. Escalate it slowly in a cozy environment and then go for the kill. If she rejects you again, you know what to do. I wouldn't deal with that kosher bullsh*t. You're investing time and probably also money in that girl.

I agree with you. Should i be the one to make plans for the date again? Or should i let her make plans since i wrote in my text for her to let me know if she wants to meet.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I agree with you. Should i be the one to make plans for the date again? Or should i let her make plans since i wrote in my text for her to let me know if she wants to meet.

If she culturally tends to not to go further than talking during a date, I doubt she will initiate the next date. Lead her. Tell her when you want to see her and where you're going. If she feels safe with you she'll thaw. There are all sorts of dirty tricks to crack a conservative or shy girl. But I get the feeling that you want to play it clean.

 

[FruitLoops]

If she culturally tends to not to go further than talking during a date, I doubt she will initiate the next date. Lead her. Tell her when you want to see her and where you're going. If she feels safe with you she'll thaw. There are all sorts of dirty tricks to crack a conservative or shy girl. But I get the feeling that you want to play it clean.

To be perfectly honest, i am not really familier with any of the dirty tricks. So i am pretty much stuck with playing it clean.

 

[cola]

Asians, Indians, Arabs basically brown Asian people need their own sub forum. I feel like gaming them is completely different in a lot of ways then black, latina and white chicks.. the culture is just so different..

I feel like most(not all) are just a lot less slutty, and the approach is different. I know a first generation nurse from Nepal who is like 23, has a boyfriend but not married and is not allowed to spend the night at his house.

Its weird to me that she has a bachelors degree but is still treated like a 16 year old but apparently that’s their culture. You do what your parents say till you are married, then you do what your husband says.

 

[FruitLoops]

Asians, Indians, Arabs basically brown Asian people need their own sub forum. I feel like gaming them is completely different in a lot of ways then black, latina and white chicks.. the culture is just so different..

I feel like most(not all) are just a lot less slutty, and the approach is different.

Thats true. Although western culture is influencing brown Asians to an extent. However there are still majority of females who are reserved. This difference in culture is what makes it difficult even for males from these from these cultures to get a white female or the ones alike.

 

[cola]

Thats true. Although western culture is influencing brown Asians to an extent. However there are still majority of females who are reserved. This difference in culture is what makes it difficult even for males from these from these cultures to get a white female or the ones alike.

Yea, I feel you. The culture is just night and day. And I actually think a lot of the brown cultures practices are great.
One thing I like is that there isn’t that pressure to move out of your parents house as soon as you can. They are moving out of their parents house with 60-70 grand saved because they are allowed to really save and get a head start in “adulting”..

But to answer your question, if she’s seems worth it take it slow with her. If you don’t think she’s worth it just don’t deal with it. She isn’t going to be an easy lay. Might take months.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She’s looking for a relationship and doesn’t want to devalue herself in your eyes by giving anything up too easily. And it’s also definitely a cultural thing at work here too.

I would say that if you’re looking for a quick lay, cut bait and fish elsewhere. If you’re looking for a LTR, be patient and work with her for a while.

 

[cola]

She’s looking for a relationship and doesn’t want to devalue herself in your eyes by giving anything up too easily. And it’s also definitely a cultural thing at work here too.

I would say that if you’re looking for a quick lay, cut bait and fish elsewhere. If you’re looking for a LTR, be patient and work with her for a while.

And to piggy back off AS, just because you are taking it slow with her because she’s relationship material doesn’t mean you can’t find a few girls who are a little “easier” to pursue on the side simultaneously while you are taking it slow with her.

 

[gravityeyelids]

I mean honestly dude, generally speaking, you shouldn't be on a second date for dinner (where you're probably going to end up paying) without even having pushed for the kiss. If you didn't push for the kiss on the first date, you should have on the 2nd (on the LIPS). Would have saved yourself some time and money if you had escalated quicker and kind of gauged if she is going to be weird about sex and stuff.

As a women she is certainly open to it, but it's more down to whether you want to deal with the bull that comes along with it.

I don't even go on a first date with a girl that i don't feel is super comfortable with her sexuality, kind of kinky, open, etc. But that's just me - LTR isn't even on my radar - i'm purely looking for sex and fun. I dont like girls that aren't experienced sexually.

"blow me or blow me out" - if sex is your goal in this interaction, you need to get her in a place where sex can occur (isolation) and then push for it. My gut says that she may be more of a pain than she's worth, but i don't have a ton of experience with sexually repressed women like this, mainly because i dont have the patience or attraction to them.

You probably could have come on stronger or more sexual from the beginning. You risk framing yourself as the provider/BF that she is going to make wait forever for sex.

If you're comfortable with LTR... then i think you should still escalate regardless. She will stop you if she's uncomfortable. Difference being that you will have to wait much longer, get her to invest much more, and build a lot more comfort. Even if you're pushing for a LTR with her, i would still find a girl who is... s1uttier (for lack of a better word) that you can game on the side and actually get your rocks off with because you might be in for a long ride with this one.

 

[HyenaPrince]

To be perfectly honest, i am not really familier with any of the dirty tricks. So i am pretty much stuck with playing it clean.

Since you already tried to kiss her she knows what's up. You can't play games the way I would have advised you on anymore. But conservative women are still women at the end of the day. The biggest problem was the public. You need to be alone with her. Invite her over for some tea and play the platonic game. Usually, I would never even talk or think about the word "platonic".

But you know what? The type of woman you're dealing with probably grew up feeling ashamed of being seen with a man that isn't from her culture. She probably has future husbands lined up for her. I don't judge that process. It works for many people. But you have to know what you're in for. As everybody here said already: It can and probably will take way longer to crack her than it would with Ashley, 20, undergraduate in social sciences.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Asians, Indians, Arabs basically brown Asian people need their own sub forum. I feel like gaming them is completely different in a lot of ways then black, latina and white chicks.. the culture is just so different..

I feel like most(not all) are just a lot less slutty, and the approach is different. I know a first generation nurse from Nepal who is like 23, has a boyfriend but not married and is not allowed to spend the night at his house.

Its weird to me that she has a bachelors degree but is still treated like a 16 year old but apparently that’s their culture. You do what your parents say till you are married, then you do what your husband says.

100%.

 

[FruitLoops]

The type of woman you're dealing with probably grew up feeling ashamed of being seen with a man that isn't from her culture.

We are from the same country here in Canada. This is the reason I am familiar with the brown asian culture.