"I like where we are"--interpretation?

[Jack12345]

The flaming has begun

U like this arent u lol

 

[Robert28]

I agree. Women typically look for diversions and/or 'branch' to the next thing that offers 'feel good' or 'feel good about oneself' emotions. Not all women, but most.

... And because of the above behavior, they are the same version (or worse) when entering their next relationship.

I'll openly admit that I have flaws. However, with each new female encounter, I apply introspection and strive to be a 'newer and improved' version of myself.

But the thing is you’re bringing a better version of yourself into a new encounter with someone that is a worse version of themselves (or the same version that’s led to their failure of successful relationships). It’s like putting brand new tires and paint on a car that doesn’t run.

 

[Black Widow Void]

But the thing is you’re bringing a better version of yourself into a new encounter with someone that is a worse version of themselves (or the same version that’s led to their failure of successful relationships). It’s like putting brand new tires and paint on a car that doesn’t run.

This is why it's a good idea to 'test drive' before deciding to buy.
We should all have our own 'cost benefit analysis' standards.
example:
If a woman lives closer by and is attractive, I may make a few more concessions.
If a woman lives on the other side of town and desires my time, I'm going to apply more scrutiny

 

[Korrupt]

This forum thinks too much in black and white. That, plus I always cringe at some of the responses I see from dudes who are obvious bitter keyboard warriors and try to find anyone/anything to hate on and flame on here to make themselves feel better about their own misery. Misery loves company, after all.

OP, your biggest mistake was posting this topic on this forum. All this will serve to do is further break down your psyche and make you more insecure and self-doubting about your "situation" with this chick.

This forum: "OMG you told a girl how you felt about her?! You're done for. You're now 100% a little b!tch in her mind and you will be dumped in exactly the next 3 minutes 57 seconds!"

Reality: She already knew you were into her. Was it a turn-off to have that convo? Maybe. Maybe not. Tons of relationships start from the guy initiating the DTR convo (like everyone on here says is a no-no).

My advice: You initiated the convo this time. Don't initiate it again. Ever. It's her turn the next time. Focus on having fun when you all hang/go out and having good sex. Like a few of the *rare* non-sh!t posters on here said, it's human nature that she will eventually fall for you if this continues.

Further advice: Back off a little. For your own good and so she can have a chance to "miss" you. The next time you hangout, give her one hell of a good time and some amazing sex, then say goodnight and go silent for several days. And when you do hit her up, tell her you've had a busy week and suggest a time to hangout. This will also allow her to come to you, which she will if she's really into you. ALSO, talk to, see, and even bang other women (WITH A CONDOM). You had the convo and she told you (in so many words) that she is not ready to get serious and that you both should keep your options open. You laid your cards on the table and she essentially rejected you this time. This also gave you the go ahead to talk to other women. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY--YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOURSELF. This will also help to distance yourself physically and emotionally from her and having other options will help calm your mind.

 

[lamath]

I like where we are is something men should tell women and not the other way around.

Mistake on your part but you can recover by being a bit more aloof and non commiting

 

[Robert28]

I can kinda side with the guy. Men are often taught two different things and it gets confusing. “Make your intentions known up front so you won’t get friendzoned!”. Then “don’t tell a girl how you feel! It’ll ruin everything!”. The fvck is a guy supposed to do? Can’t win for losing.

 

[lamath]

I can kinda side with the guy. Men are often taught two different things and it gets confusing. “Make your intentions known up front so you won’t get friendzoned!”. Then “don’t tell a girl how you feel! It’ll ruin everything!”. The fvck is a guy supposed to do? Can’t win for losing.

Not always easy especially when you dont know better.


its common knowledge here

That we should not be telling i like you first or that you want to be in a relationship with her

When saying intentions ppl mean make it known you want to bang her not be one of her gf.

Sometime those things wont matter but other s its a if you do you die kind of thing. All those are mostly dependant on her interest level.

 

[Robert28]

Not always easy especially when you dont know better.


its common knowledge here

That we should not be telling i like you first or that you want to be in a relationship with her

When saying intentions ppl mean make it known you want to bang her not be one of her gf.

Sometime those things wont matter but other s its a if you do you die kind of thing. All those are mostly dependant on her interest level.

Women are good at faking interest level. I’ve had girls I thought were very into me, all the signs were there, only to end things the next day.

 

[lamath]

Women are good at faking interest level. I’ve had girls I thought were very into me, all the signs were there, only to end things the next day.

True
However some ppl are better at spoting genuine interest level Its also where looking at action instead of what they say will show you the truth.

But in the end they can fake it all they want but they got to come clean when you take the direct route about wanting to bang them they only have 2 choice put out or not.

It makes everything clear.


Men should always be rdy to walk and i know its easier said than done, and we should almost never commits to a women 1st. By either telling them we like them or telling them we want to be exclusive.

For women sex is easy to get but commitment isnt , so if you commit to easily you show all you cards and therefore make the game less interesting and challenging. And you lose value and power

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Saw her last night. Went for a drive, checked out the local fireworks stand (which doesn't sell anything cool), cooked burgers at her place, had sex a couple times, watched a movie. Was a good time. Nothing crazy to report.

We had been scheduling future dates the same night, but this time I didn't. I'm going to go silent for a few days to let her miss me and see if she comes to me (which she has before, so we'll see if she does again).

 

[Lookatu]

Saw her last night. Went for a drive, checked out the local fireworks stand (which doesn't sell anything cool), cooked burgers at her place, had sex a couple times, watched a movie. Was a good time. Nothing crazy to report.

We had been scheduling future dates the same night, but this time I didn't. I'm going to go silent for a few days to let her miss me and see if she comes to me (which she has before, so we'll see if she does again).

Why the game playing if everything is still good? I mean you guys had a good time last night so things seem normal again.
I can understand withholding your attention or availability if she started playing games or treated you different. Am I missing something here? It just seems like you trying to flex your muscle with her for no reason at this point.

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Why the game playing if everything is still good? I mean you guys had a good time last night so things seem normal again.
I can understand withholding your attention or availability if she started playing games or treated you different. Am I missing something here? It just seems like you trying to flex your muscle with her for no reason at this point.

Everybody in here told me to pull back and give it more distance. Well, that plus this is a busier week for me. Back from a 4 hour to an 8 hour day of work today and Friday, Wednesday I'm going to a funeral, and tomorrow I'm getting ready for said funeral as well as putting together a piece of gym equipment I ordered.

I'm not going to ignore her. Just thought waiting till Wednesday before hitting her up to schedule something would be good "space". But if she hits me up first before then I'll make plans with her sooner.

I've also scheduled a hangout with another girl I used to know for tomorrow night, but I feel weird about it. Still have that guilty feeling even though I know I shouldn't.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Everybody in here told me to pull back and give it more distance. Well, that plus this is a busier week for me. Back from a 4 hour to an 8 hour day of work today and Friday, Wednesday I'm going to a funeral, and tomorrow I'm getting ready for said funeral as well as putting together a piece of gym equipment I ordered.

I'm not going to ignore her. Just thought waiting till Wednesday before hitting her up to schedule something would be good "space". But if she hits me up first before then I'll make plans with her sooner.

I've also scheduled a hangout with another girl I used to know for tomorrow night, but I feel weird about it. Still have that guilty feeling even though I know I shouldn't.

Why do you think you have that guilty feeling about it?

 

[peeps]

I’ve been there before. This is as far as it’s ever going to go, TRUST ME. So keep doing what you’re doing but start lining up other girls because if you want something more, she ain’t gonna give it. She will eventually cut off sex and friendzone you. You’re a rebound guy.

This guy has it. Don't let her hold the wheel OP. She's a pump and dump

 

[gravityeyelids]

Not gonna flame you, but yes you fvkced up a little. The man should never be the one to bring up the "where are we?" convo. Especially in your situation. It's not a hanging offense, but you need to be careful going forward. Just play it cool, and TALK TO OTHER WOMEN. You need to protect yourself from your own feelings. It sounds like you don't have a strong enough frame to be seeing only this woman and not catch feelings and let those feelings control your behavior, so you need to be at least talking to other women.

It's not clear how to brought up or worded the whole "safety" thing, but your general attitude towards her sleeping with other men should be "i could care less if you sleep with other guys because i know i'm the best of them and you probably wont even need to if you're hanging out with me".

Treat this as a FWB situation and nothing more. Have another girl you can sleep with consistently.

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Why do you think you have that guilty feeling about it?

Because I have feelings for her, we've been doing relationshippy things, and I honestly only want to date her at the moment.

 

[rart]

Because I have feelings for her, we've been doing relationshippy things, and I honestly only want to date her at the moment.

You have to get those feelings under control by doing things that bring you happiness other than women (hobbies and such) and by talking/seeing other women.

Commitment talk should come from a woman. And you give a women commitment IF she earned it. As far as I can tell this woman hasn't earned anything.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Because I have feelings for her, we've been doing relationshippy things, and I honestly only want to date her at the moment.

Damn, you've been bitten by the most poisonous snake in the world, brother - the Cobra Amor. You can distinguish her from other snakes by looking for her famous characteristics; her soft and feminine movements. She moves her hips like flowing water and squiggles her way slowly towards you. In fact, you even forget that you're dealing with a venomous snake because she's so soft and caring. Until it's too late and she bites you. Her venom now entered your bloodstream.

Common symptoms to look out for: total devotion, passive behavior, lower testosterone, an affinity for cleaning rooms and throwing out the garbage, always agreeing with her and never speaking up for yourself.

The one and only antidote: seeing and drinking the venom from as many snakes as possible and distancing yourself from the serpent that initially poisoned you.

 

[Lookatu]

Because I have feelings for her, we've been doing relationshippy things, and I honestly only want to date her at the moment.

Dude, she already has you wrapped around her finger and you think you're in a position to play games with her and win? LOL

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

lmao

You have to get those feelings under control by doing things that bring you happiness other than women (hobbies and such) and by talking/seeing other women.

Commitment talk should come from a woman. And you give a women commitment IF she earned it. As far as I can tell this woman hasn't earned anything.

What does a woman do to earn commitment?