Subcommunication: Girlfriend's guy friends

[EyeOnThePrize]

@Nordic_identity
When she instantly gets really nice don't bring it up or point it out. That's her resetting to your frame, it should be expected, lean into it. Make a plan for a date when she's like that and go have fun with her. Be willing to walk if she acts up and show that with your actions. If she disrespects call her out effortlessly. Charm, fuuck, check, effortlessly, and watch her submit and treat you like a god.

And obviously if the dates not fun drop her.

It'll be tricky to switch your mindset if you've been cucking it, god speed.

 

[2Rocky]

At the end of the day OP is 28 and she is 18. Did he really think this was going to last a long time? Im surprised it lasted 10 months.

Pvssy is only rented, never owned. Especially in a case like this. Of course this chick is ready to pounce on this guy that is her own age. I would just bounce her @ss.

There is not so much age difference limits, but instead "Borders" Legal drinking age is one of them. When you are on the other side from your LTR you really limit your options.

A girl that young is FB material. you can be meeting women old enough to buy you a drink who can rent a car for the weekend if you want to spend time outside of the bedroom with them.

 

[In2theGame]

Reading through all this. This one is over TKO.

 

[Black Widow Void]

could anyone reference ways in which I can reignite the spark between us despite the complacency and monotony that comes eventually in a LTR?

Welcome aboard.
I've read through your responses and you really got quite a 'welcome.' Actually, my initial response was not much better and so I'll take a second crack at your question.

Do you two still go out and do things? It's important to keep things lively to some extent.

Have you two spent too much time together too soon? There's an old saying that "familiarity breeds contempt."

Have you been too accommodating? Being flexible isn't always bad, but if it turns into a pattern of self-comprise, the relationship will be the next compromise.

Sometimes after we feel 'settled' or very 'comfortable' in a relationship, we can forget how we got there in the first place (I've made this particular mistake).

Most relationships have a shelf life. Sometimes it ends as a legitimate result of our own behavior and sometimes it's theirs. Sometimes it's both.

 

[Clamslammer]

Simple...she either respects you or doesn't. This one does not respect you so you turn her into a fwb without mentioning it and then you go find another quality* girl you want to date. If she ever catches you tell her you thought we were just fwb since there was no respect in our relationship, do you want to maintain the fwb or part ways. Either way you don't carw because you got another girl you have been working on.

 

[metalwater]

Ten months is a short time. Imagine if you can that you are married to her with kids and 10 years from now she does this same thing. think about that a lot.

you are NOT insecure and being jealous is a natural honest emotion. It is caused when someone we like and want attention from gives attention to someone else instead and lets us know about it. They are bad or being bad by doing that. you are only feeling what you can not help but feel. It is normal and healthy. If she tells you that you are insecure and jealous and therefore defective and should instead man up and let her fck around on you or give attention that should be yours to another guy then she is dirt.

you can not read her mind.. I guarantee that if she was liking you and committed to you that you would have NO questions. and you would not feel jealous even if some other guy was to approach her in front of you and ask her to fck. because she would tell him no, clearly, and in front of you. it would and should make you jealous if she tells the same guy that she will come to visit and drink with him privately at his place and also tell you to stay away. think about that... why would she do that...

what you say she did was get drunk with another guy and then tell you to stay away. think about that... there is no confusion and yes you have the right to feel jealous about that, it is normal. you have to move on.

I am so sorry.. this **** happens all the time to good men.

 

[thinker]

@Nordic_identity yeah I bet she was too tired to walk. Ask yourself this question if the rolls were reversed how would she take it and you have your answer. Every women that has wanted me didn't pick time with other people over time with me, if they were hanging out with their friends I needed no invitation I could just show up whenever I wanted to show up. Plate her and move on.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Ten months is a short time. Imagine if you can that you are married to her with kids and 10 years from now she does this same thing. think about that a lot.

you are NOT insecure and being jealous is a natural honest emotion. It is caused when someone we like and want attention from gives attention to someone else instead and lets us know about it. They are bad or being bad by doing that. you are only feeling what you can not help but feel. It is normal and healthy. If she tells you that you are insecure and jealous and therefore defective and should instead man up and let her fck around on you or give attention that should be yours to another guy then she is dirt.

you can not read her mind.. I guarantee that if she was liking you and committed to you that you would have NO questions. and you would not feel jealous even if some other guy was to approach her in front of you and ask her to fck. because she would tell him no, clearly, and in front of you. it would and should make you jealous if she tells the same guy that she will come to visit and drink with him privately at his place and also tell you to stay away. think about that... why would she do that...

what you say she did was get drunk with another guy and then tell you to stay away. think about that... there is no confusion and yes you have the right to feel jealous about that, it is normal. you have to move on.

I am so sorry.. this **** happens all the time to good men.

This guy gets it!

 

[Desdinova]

My gf has always had various guy friends

She's a piece of trash wh0re. Dump her.

I have no reason to believe she's cheating or doing sketchy things with these friends

If you truly believed that this wasn't a problem, you wouldn't have posted about it.

could anyone reference ways in which I can reignite the spark between us

She has no spark when it comes to you because she keeps other guys orbiting around her.

So let me break this down...

Men are going to get offended when other men start sniffing around the woman they're dating. It's in our nature to protect the woman we've decided to keep as our own. You have every right to feel the way you do about these other guys hanging around your GF.

Women are naturally designed to be committed to only one man in their lifetime. Once they've used up that one time, they aren't able to be faithful to another man. They are damaged goods after they've spent their one chance to be faithful to one man. This bytch you call your GF is never going to settle down. She's going to surround herself with men until she's old and ugly. At that point, she'll start surrounding herself with cats.

While she's entertaining other men, she's going to make all kinds of excuses that those are her friends, and no man is going to tell her who she's allowed to keep as friends. She will always choose her plethora of orbiters over you. You cannot turn a wh0re into a housewife. If you want to be in a committed relationship, you need to find a woman who's never gone through heartbreak. If this bytch had never experienced heartbreak, she'd be eliminating all her male friends to avoid the risk of pissing you off.

To summarize.... Dump her and quit wasting your energy on trying to get a wh0re to commit.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think the age gap in this case is a downside because of were the age gap sits in the life cycle. OP if you were older and had your shyt together etc etc. (Not saying you dont)
A 10 year gab is no issue for a man but in this case 18 is in plate age

They will still prioritize social view point of their age group. 28-38, 38-48, 48-58 same difference.

 

[rart]

OP. It is time to soft next her.

 

[Nordic_identity]

So update:

Since the other night when I applied dread game and ghosted her for a few hours she's been extremely affectionate, horny, and her mood has shifted to a bit more positive than she has acted for the last month similar to the way it was when we first started dating.

I haven't mentioned anything about her guy friends or the circumstances from last Saturday night when she was at the get together. Last week she said there was a possibility that they were all going to hang this weekend while I was at work but since the dread game, focusing on myself and prioritizing what I want to do in my day to day ,ie going to the gym, running, or working on hobbies projects, she hasn't mentioned the guys or hanging with them. She's actually been more focused on our plans for the weekend and what we're gonna do together.

Some of you gave very good advice. Others might be clouded out from the limited details I was able to give of the full scope of the situation and that's why the advice might have been a bit misleading or misguided.

However, some of you must be absolutely black pilled and act as though there's no way of saving a possible sinking ship. Why would I next a girl so immediately when the sex is phenomenal and I am enjoying the young woman in the mean time? Why not improve myself, create indignation by expanding my social group, and retaining a worthwhile relationship?

I am not gonna give up good ***** just because I haven't been doing so swell the last month with retaining attraction and then falling into a bluepilled frame when she tests me on this falling of attraction. Instead I'd rather improve myself, reestablish attraction, milk this for what it's worth and then if I grow bored I'll next her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Age gap was not going to work regardless. She wants to date within her friends group to show status in the group. Huge bias towards that for all but the most introverted women until 23+(and even then it's a factor). I would guess she is monkey branching now yes.

Best age gap is within 5 years for duration. And in my life women at least 1 yrs older have been better, they treat you better. Just make sure she is fit and attractive enough to generate lust. Some babes take care of themselves.

 

[Lookatu]

I am not gonna give up good ***** just because I haven't been doing so swell the last month with retaining attraction and then falling into a bluepilled frame when she tests me on this falling of attraction. Instead I'd rather improve myself, reestablish attraction, milk this for what it's worth and then if I grow bored I'll next her.

That's great but just don't get back into playing her games or being in her frame, don't pedestalize her, know that if you fail any of her $hit tests, you probably won't get a second chance. Also know that with a 10yr age difference, she's going to want to hang out with guys around her own age. Whether she cheats on you can go either way. Keep looking for other prospects and be proactive. You're basically in maintenance mode now...

Regarding age difference, ask yourself what she see's in you or what you think you can offer that the other guys can't. And then ask yourself if your girl thinks what you can offer her is more important than others.

 

[Nordic_identity]

Best age gap is within 5 years for duration. And in my life women at least 1 yrs older have been better, they treat you better. Just make sure she is fit and attractive enough to generate lust. Some babes take care of themselves.

All my grandfathers married women that were 8+ years younger than them. Is this like a new modern rule that has been created?

 

[Nordic_identity]

That's great but just don't get back into playing her games or being in her frame, don't pedestalize her, know that if you fail any of her $hit tests, you probably won't get a second chance. Also know that with a 10yr age difference, she's going to want to hang out with guys around her own age. Whether she cheats on you can go either way. Keep looking for other prospects and be proactive. You're basically in maintenance mode now...

Regarding age difference, ask yourself what she see's in you or what you think you can offer that the other guys can't. And then ask yourself if your girl thinks what you can offer her is more important than others.

Generally speaking I think what I offer her is maturity that is seldom found within men my same age. I can only imagine that the female imperative is even worse on these guys with how horrible it's been for men of my generation.

 

[Lookatu]

Generally speaking I think what I offer her is maturity that is seldom found within men my same age. I can only imagine that the female imperative is even worse on these guys with how horrible it's been for men of my generation.

Just remember that no one guy can offer it all. She will hang with you for your maturity and hang with others for other things/traits.

 

[Nordic_identity]

Only due to your inability to completely let this chic go.
Do make no mistake there a "few" men here who can see where this is going reguardless of were your rational beta brain will take this.
It WILL take every validation it can while you continue to lick her droplets of shyt.

You are just a number in the carnage game of the evolution of her sexual strategy. Make no mistake.
After you accept her back she will reaffirm this beta behavior...... While you fck her puzzy full of other mans jizz. See you in the post "i told you so" thread

Accept her back? She didn't dump me. The thread was about subcommunication with women getting guy friends and hanging out with the suddenly.

I wanted to know if there was a way to salvage a beta move I made by lashing out at her because of a **** test she was employing and recover from it before she dumped me.

 

[Nordic_identity]

Just remember that no one guy can offer it all. She will hang with you for your maturity and hang with others for other things/traits.

This is definitely true but she wasn't hanging with these guys before, at least not outside of school/work.

My theory was the relationship was growing stale by complacency on my part and not being "as fun" anymore because of late twenties things like career. I am sure she sees these guys her own age as being fun to a certain degree because they don't have a lot of priorities or independence in there lives.

But I think I can offer her fun, I just have to balance it with career.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

All my grandfathers married women that were 8+ years younger than them. Is this like a new modern rule that has been created?

The "older" is not a modern rule. It's a real life observation. Much younger expect you to "take care of them", so they won't be looking after you, and won't support you properly. An older woman will "support" you in various ways, it's in her nature, and you can have a better life as a result.

I know about all the formulas that show the guy is supposed to be "xyz" older, but in American society, younger women are taught and encouraged to USE an older guy. She might treat guys her age fair, but an older she will use because that's how they are coached.

If someone is "using" you they are not helping you. An older will "help" you.