When/how to follow up after first date

[worldknown]

Trying to work on my consistency following first date. What do your guys follow ups look like / and time frame?

I don’t think sending a “I had a great time last night” text is a good idea, comes across as validation seeking

Do you send a text the next day or two days after? What do you say?

 

[Serenity]

If you know how to read a woman, it's clear she enjoyed the first date and you enjoyed it too, then you might as well say you had a great time and start planning the next date.

Whether you say it at the end of the first date, on text the next day or after 2 days won't make or break it if she's genuinely interested in seeing you again. I'd say 2 days is the maximum time to wait, but really only if you need a bit more time to think about it and decide. Preferably you will know whether you want to see her again at the end of the date or by the next day.

Waiting for the sake of waiting as a part of playing games is just stupid, that's the real validation seeking and it's painfully obvious (at least to me, women do this sh!t too). As to what to say, the simplest is often the best, trying to be clever has a higher risk of making you look like an idiot, if you enjoyed it then just say so like a man.

Guys commonly overthink this, I advise you to keep it simple, honest and to the point.

 

[jaymbrs]

If you know how to read a woman, it's clear she enjoyed the first date and you enjoyed it too, then you might as well say you had a great time and start planning the next date.

Whether you say it at the end of the first date, on text the next day or after 2 days won't make or break it if she's genuinely interested in seeing you again. I'd say 2 days is the maximum time to wait, but really only if you need a bit more time to think about it and decide. Preferably you will know whether you want to see her again at the end of the date or by the next day.

Waiting for the sake of waiting as a part of playing games is just stupid, that's the real validation seeking and it's painfully obvious (at least to me, women do this sh!t too). As to what to say, the simplest is often the best, trying to be clever has a higher risk of making you look like an idiot, if you enjoyed it then just say so like a man.

Guys commonly overthink this, I advise you to keep it simple, honest and to the point.

This. Take control of the situation. Admitting you had a good time is not beta. Tease her over something she did during the date that you thought was cute. Let the chemistry take over from there.

 

[worldknown]

If you know how to read a woman, it's clear she enjoyed the first date and you enjoyed it too, then you might as well say you had a great time and start planning the next date.

Whether you say it at the end of the first date, on text the next day or after 2 days won't make or break it if she's genuinely interested in seeing you again. I'd say 2 days is the maximum time to wait, but really only if you need a bit more time to think about it and decide. Preferably you will know whether you want to see her again at the end of the date or by the next day.

Waiting for the sake of waiting as a part of playing games is just stupid, that's the real validation seeking and it's painfully obvious (at least to me, women do this sh!t too). As to what to say, the simplest is often the best, trying to be clever has a higher risk of making you look like an idiot, if you enjoyed it then just say so like a man.

Guys commonly overthink this, I advise you to keep it simple, honest and to the point.

So what would you say?

Im thinking a statement, like:

“I had fun last night, let’s do it again”

“I’m glad we got together last night. I’d like to see you again”

 

[SW15]

Some of it would depend upon how the first date went.

Generally speaking, I ask her out in person for a 2nd date. I don't like to do much with texting. Texting makes flaking easier.

 

[Serenity]

So what would you say?

Im thinking a statement, like:

“I had fun last night, let’s do it again”

“I’m glad we got together last night. I’d like to see you again”

Those are fine, for extra points you suggest a time and place for the next date as well. In a few days or next week, whenever you have a convenient time slot and depending on what activity you want to do. Might not fit for her, but she'll let you know or suggest another time if she's interested. Just go back and forth until you find a time that fits for both of you.

If you find it difficult to plan a time with her, then she's probably not that interested and you should move on.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I always tell her to text mw when she gets home, if she doesn't i just move on.

 

[BJP1991]

Like others said, if you did a good job on the date she will probably text you first.

If the date went well and you felt a connection (think objectively here) and especially if you went for a kiss and she was receptive, there's nothing wrong with a simple "Hey, had a nice time last night - would be fun to get out again sometime" text wont hurt your chances. Just dont go asking alot of questions or trying to carry a text conversation. Just get from point A to point B, meaning set another date, tell her you look forward to it, and dont over text. If she wants to text you and initiate text, thats a good sign.

Never hurts to try. Some guys will say to never text after a first date, and I agree not to send on the same night, but the following afternoon is honestly fine. Some girls want the guy to pursue in the very beginning, but as you open her up and get her more comfortable with you, she will probably start reaching out more.

 

[worldknown]

So i sent her something similar to what BJP recommended "hey had a nice time last night, would be fun to get together again sometime" to which she replied "yes, me too smiley face emoji"

good response right?

 

[derby1]

you dont, you end dates with
"I enjoyed your company, I like it when a woman makes conversation flow, keep in touch"

 

[derby1]

good response right?

imho shes just made you an orbiter, you've given her the frame and shes responded vaguely, make sense?

your not here to pull teeth out brother(dont message her that lol)

women should make it easy.

leave it a few hours and set a solid date/time with her within a week, then get off the phone

put her replies up on here and we will help

 

[andreihaha]

So i sent her something similar to what BJP recommended "hey had a nice time last night, would be fun to get together again sometime" to which she replied "yes, me too "

good response right?

Now it depends on the girl. If she didn't seem to be a shy girl, let her follow the "yes, me too" with a "what are you doing tomorrow?".
If she seemed shy and submissive, take her out when it's convenient fro you. I'd send her a message maybe in the evening or the following day. Waiting 2-3 days when you clearly had fun together makes it obvious that you're playing games. Which is dumb.

 

[worldknown]

In response to Derby:
I think her response was as close to as favorable as it gets so i disagree with you on the orbiter comment as it stands right now. The only better option would be "yes daddy come **** me now" but i'll take this. If she doesn't agree to another date then that would be orbiter status but we barely text only for logistics.

We went and grabbed drinks for a first date, was suppose to be only one hour but winded being 2 hours of easy convo and i broke it off by looking at my watch and saying oh i didnt know it was so late, she replied and said oh yeah its late i gotta get going LOL. We walked out together but i didn't tell her i had fun, or i that i enjoyed grabbing drinks i just wished her a good rest of her night--- in an attempt to mix it up, rather than provide validation on the spot let it stew for a for a day.

In response to Andre:
Agreed on the game playing thing which is why i wanted to send a text the following day early evening time (nearly 24 hours post date). She has been submissive through the whole process and i'm getting the feeling she wants me to lead -- hence why i think it was a good idea for me to send that text as i gave her zero indication last night during and after the date how i felt about her or our time together. From when we met online after i got the phone number the texting has been minimal, nearly strictly around logistic.

Game plan:
I'm not going to respond. I'll hit her up in 2-3 days to try to confirm a date next week for dinner and drinks then stop texting again. Thoughts?

 

[andreihaha]

In response to Derby:
I think her response was as close to as favorable as it gets so i disagree with you on the orbiter comment as it stands right now. The only better option would be "yes daddy come **** me now" but i'll take this. If she doesn't agree to another date then that would be orbiter status but we barely text only for logistics.

We went and grabbed drinks for a first date, was suppose to be only one hour but winded being 2 hours of easy convo and i broke it off by looking at my watch and saying oh i didnt know it was so late, she replied and said oh yeah its late i gotta get going LOL. We walked out together but i didn't tell her i had fun, or i that i enjoyed grabbing drinks i just wished her a good rest of her night--- in an attempt to mix it up, rather than provide validation on the spot let it stew for a for a day.

In response to Andre:
Agreed on the game playing thing which is why i wanted to send a text the following day early evening time (nearly 24 hours post date). She has been submissive through the whole process and i'm getting the feeling she wants me to lead -- hence why i think it was a good idea for me to send that text as i gave her zero indication last night during and after the date how i felt about her or our time together. From when we met online after i got the phone number the texting has been minimal, nearly strictly around logistic.

Game plan:
I'm not going to respond. I'll hit her up in 2-3 days to try to confirm a date next week for dinner and drinks then stop texting again. Thoughts?

If she's submissive, good! Take the lead!
But waiting 2-3 days is playing games. You said let's get together, she said yes. No need to pospone it. If you want to take her out tomorrow, do so. If you're busy 2-3 days, tell her you got some full days ahead but you're gonna tell her when you get some free time.
I mean you liked her, right? Why risk losing her for no reason?
You wouldn't like a girl letting you hanging for 2-3 days, right? I know that would decrease MY interest level.

 

[derby1]

yes start the ball rolling now then get off the phone .....

 

[worldknown]

No one talks on the phone these days. You don’t think that’s needy reaching out immediately to plan a new date? I might wait another day and do so. I don’t see how that can be considered playing games I’m busy tonight with another date

 

[mozarto.o]

I mean you liked her, right? Why risk losing her for no reason?

Women like men with an abundance mindset. This kind of reasoning doesn't come from it.

You wouldn't like a girl letting you hanging for 2-3 days, right? I know that would decrease MY interest level.

You are not a woman, it works the other way around with them.

 

[worldknown]

Women like men with an abundance mindset. This kind of reasoning doesn't come from it.

You are not a woman, it works the other way around with them.

Wait a couple of days to reschedule another date then?

 

[mozarto.o]

Wait a couple of days to reschedule another date then?

Yes, plan a date where you can fvck her.

 

[derby1]

No one talks on the phone these days. You don’t think that’s needy reaching out immediately to plan a new date?

get off the phone as in stop worrying about messaging her, i didnt say call her.. leave it till tomm, then arrange a meet for the weekend, where you can slay, so her interest raises higher than it currently is. In the mean time work on your social value, so that chics are messaging you instantly scared of losing you