Look at their Fathers in determining LTR/Marriage Potential...

[Lookatu]

This is not the be all, end all but I think there is some correlation that can be had with gals that's had strong alpha type fathers and ones that are still involved in their children's lives, with being good prospects for marriage or LTR.

The reason why I'm posting this now and realizing it is because I just met the father of this gal I'm dating over the Memorial Day holiday weekend. And it made me realize all the good relationships I've had over the years, the gal did have a good father in her life. Based on my experience, it makes them more easy to get along with and they think slightly different than the gals that might've not had a strong father(or father figure) in their lives.

Of course I'm not saying a gal without a father could not be LTR or marriage material but I'm saying there could be a better chance if she had one.

Of course this sounds logical but it can also just be anecdotal and be a pure coincidence.

Any of you had similar experiences?

 

[TonyTenner]

I was seeing a girl, a HB9 IMO, and on at least 6 occasions she mentioned that while she has a great father, she did not respect him as a man. He dedicated his life to his wife. He gave up all his friends and hobbies and worshipped the ground she walked on. While this girl loved him, she also clearly thought he was pathetic.

This girl was very self-entitled - she expected a man to pay her way, always. She was an attention-*****, someone who judged everyone on their looks. She also liked to be dominated. I ended it recently - which took huge resolve only possible cos of this forum and The Rational Male - and that was the first time I sensed full respect for me. She almost regressed to a little girl as I was doing it, crying. But I had no choice, I had to walk away.

So is a girl with a loving but feminine father going to end up as self-entitled and having a need to be dominated? In this case yes, I don't know if that's universal though.

 

[GioWolf]

100% of the girls I’ve met with no father or a non- standard relationship with their father have been bat**** crazy and not capable of having a normal relationship.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I think there is some correlation that can be had with gals that's had strong alpha type fathers and ones that are still involved in their children's lives, with being good prospects for marriage or LTR.

There are many ingredients required for a woman to be LTR, marriage, or even gf material, but having a solid father figure and the (young) daughter having respect and admiration for him is far and away #1. Respect for the mother counts too, maybe #2 on the list, but the father is clearly the biggest chunk of beef in the beef stew, if you will, in how she interacts with male dating partners.

I have known some girls who have largely grown up without a father figure or maybe had a stepfather at some point and some turned out really well. But, it seemed the mother was very responsible and did a great job of raising them. I've known other women where the relationship with the parents was really bad or one parent was missing, etc., and in most cases the woman turned out to be an absolute nut job.

So if OP if looking for a relationship, asking some non-threatening and open-ended questions about her family dynamic early on in the dating process is a really good idea. Just be ready to answer her's about your family.

Good luck.

 

[derby1]

every woman i know who loves her dad, is in some kind of very long term relationship

every woman i know with no dad/weak dad disposes of baby daddies for fun, i only have to look at a young mom on social media and i know 9 times out of 10 the father will have been disposed of..............

I dont think people realise the Radicalisation that goes on in fatherless homes, imagine listening to your jaded mom for 10 years

 

[AttackFormation]

In my experience it actually is the be all end all, no exceptions.

The costliest mistake I've made with any woman was because of not heeding this advice. If she lacks a decent father figure, she's a booby trap. But your idealism will make you bet against the house anyway. I thought we could connect over the mutual lack of a father figure, and BOOM! - I was lucky to only sustain non-permanent injuries.

 

[Billtx49]

In my experience it actually is the be all end all, no exceptions.

Absolutely right. Worst LTR decision of my life was with a woman who Never knew her biological father and had a stepfather that sexually abused her. Her personal life and relationships were complete chaos…

 

[TonyTenner]

So we're all agreed if women do not have a masculine father figure, they tend to make awful girlfriends. In my experience, it's not even about the father being a bad father. It's about if the father is weak, wimpy, worships the ground their wife walks on. Then, that woman is nearly always trouble.

The question is why?

 

[Billtx49]

The question is why?

If their family unit was somehow off base during their adolescence for whatever reason, women will have a skewed perception of the proper adult male/female life roles.…
i.e., Learned childhood behavior, if daddy bows down to mommy, that’s what a man should be like…
Under that premise it’s not difficult to understand the rise of radical feminism, and why some females don’t relate very well to strong men …

 

[AttackFormation]

So we're all agreed if women do not have a masculine father figure, they tend to make awful girlfriends. In my experience, it's not even about the father being a bad father. It's about if the father is weak, wimpy, worships the ground their wife walks on. Then, that woman is nearly always trouble.

The question is why?

Here's what I would guess explains the damage:

1. Lack of absorbed self-discipline from father
2. Absence of internalized ability to respect and love a man
3. Absence of healthy model for love (her parents)
4. Low self-esteem due to absence of secure masculine love which creates a craving for male validation, she medicates it with promiscuity which both damages her further and is a symptom of the void and damage she already had

 

[derby1]

Mine had an object hunger for male validation, didnt matter if the guy lived the other side of the world and had a face like playdo, she will need them all in her eco system.

she also was a professional victim.....too a sickening degree

 

[TonyTenner]

If their family unit was somehow off base during their adolescence for whatever reason, women will have a skewed perception of the proper adult male/female life roles.…
i.e., Learned childhood behavior, if daddy bows down to mommy, that’s what a man should be like…
Under that premise it’s not difficult to understand the rise of radical feminism, and why some females don’t relate very well to strong men …

But in my experience women like this WANT a strong male...

 

[TonyTenner]

Here's what I would guess explains the damage:

1. Lack of absorbed self-discipline from father
2. Absence of internalized ability to respect and love a man
3. Absence of healthy model for love (her parents)
4. Low self-esteem due to absence of secure masculine love which creates a craving for male validation, she medicates it with promiscuity which both damages her further and is a symptom of the void and damage she already had

****, that was good.

 

[thinker]

I have said on this forum before that my best relationships have been with women who had strong dominant masculine fathers in the home and were daddy's girls. A second thing that is important is a feminine caring mother. Children develop their mental models when it comes to inter gender relationships from their parents. I am not saying that you can't find a great women for a LTR that didn't have this setup growing up or that you wont run across sloots that had this setup growing up but the chances are much lower of those scenarios playing out.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Strong masculine fathers are very important I think in predicting LTR potential. I certainly had such a father and I had the deepest love, respect and admiration for him. Lost him a little over 4 years ago. Many of the guys here were very kind about it.

My dad was a John Wayne/George Patton/Winston Churchill type Real Man. He was The Boss in the family. He was also 6’4”, devastatingly handsome, charming and sought after by women. He was a leader among men. He was a formative force in my life and my earliest childhood memory is bird hunting with him at 3 or 4.

Instinctively I seek out men who are familiar in that the men I am drawn to have characteristics like my dad. I often tell anecdotes about my dad and it becomes obvious early on that I greatly respected my father.

I usually end up in LTRs and I really have no interest in acting like a floozy. I find that foolish. My personal reputation has always been of great importance to me...a lesson taught by my father’s mother, my paternal grandmother, who was the feminine lady influence in my life. I’ve discussed them both with some frequency here.

Great women from great families with great fathers often get wifed up young. So for a young man if you want this kind of girl you’ve got to go to her environs. And you are going to be subject to family (dad’s) scrutiny. Great fathers are protective of their daughters and knowing themselves what a solid man is, they will actively discourage a young man who does not pass muster. My father certainly did this, and I know other great fathers who do same.

So you need to be a catch yourself with these women or dad will disapprove and you’d be surprised how many of these young women seek daddy’s approval for a LTR or marriage prospect.

That’s quite different than the dynamic you’ll see when a woman does not have a strong father figure.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Advice from the old lady:

Strong masculine fathers are very important I think in predicting LTR potential. I certainly had such a father and I had the deepest love, respect and admiration for him. Lost him a little over 4 years ago. Many of the guys here were very kind about it.

My dad was a John Wayne/George Patton/Winston Churchill type Real Man. He was The Boss in the family. He was also 6’4”, devastatingly handsome, charming and sought after by women. He was a leader among men. He was a formative force in my life and my earliest childhood memory is bird hunting with him at 3 or 4.

Instinctively I seek out men who are familiar in that the men I am drawn to have characteristics like my dad. I often tell anecdotes about my dad and it becomes obvious early on that I greatly respected my father.

I usually end up in LTRs and I really have no interest in acting like a floozy. I find that foolish. My personal reputation has always been of great importance to me...a lesson taught by my father’s mother, my paternal grandmother, who was the feminine lady influence in my life. I’ve discussed them both with some frequency here.

Great women from great families with great fathers often get wifed up young. So for a young man if you want this kind of girl you’ve got to go to her environs. And you are going to be subject to family (dad’s) scrutiny. Great fathers are protective of their daughters and knowing themselves what a solid man is, they will actively discourage a young man who does not pass muster. My father certainly did this, and I know other great fathers who do same.

So you need to be a catch yourself with these women or dad will disapprove and you’d be surprised how many of these young women seek daddy’s approval for a LTR or marriage prospect.

That’s quite different than the dynamic you’ll see when a woman does not have a strong father figure.

Awww, what a severe loss. I'm sorry your Dad passed away.
Almost about 5 years which is similar to me.

I identified with the disapproving. It wasn't so much that my Dad disapproved or forbade....he just never approved. If that made sense.

I didn't get to hunt with my Dad until about 15 years ago. It took me that long to convince him I could. I found it difficult to 'break the glass ceiling' of hunting invitations. It was one of the last male dominated bastions in my family to pierce. I wasn't left out on purpose, they just didn't realise how much I wanted to go.

I paid an extraordinary amount for 6 oz of restaurant venison for my Dad at a fancy Toronto restaurant and it was after then and also when I could talk g uns that I got accepted. The price of a tag for a whole wild-shot deer was less than that restaurant venison.

That Xmas I was given my first bow. I was so happy I was crying. "I'm in!" I get to go hunting with them!!!!


So you are very fortunate to hunt so early. Sounds like you had a wonderful father Be. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[BeExcellent]

Thank you. Here’s the funny part. If my father had been blessed with sons it would have been that way in my family. But. God has a sense of humor & I am the eldest of 4 daughters. There were no sons until step sons many years later. So guess who grew up expected to be a young lady but also who got schooled in socket wrenches and baseball and guns and cars? Yup. Me. In fact I was so socialized around men that I grew up feeling far more relaxed and comfortable around men as opposed to women. I had to learn how to socialize with women in high school and college. I got up the curve but it was like learning a foreign language for me in a way.

It’s also I’m sure why I like hanging around here.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Thank you. Here’s the funny part. If my father had been blessed with sons it would have been that way in my family. But. God has a sense of humor & I am the eldest of 4 daughters. There were no sons until step sons many years later. So guess who grew up expected to be a young lady but also who got schooled in socket wrenches and baseball and guns and cars? Yup. Me. In fact I was so socialized around men that I grew up feeling far more relaxed and comfortable around men as opposed to women. I had to learn how to socialize with women in high school and college. I got up the curve but it was like learning a foreign language for me in a way.

It’s also I’m sure why I like hanging around here.

You're awesome.
Same exposure. Different beginning and trajectory but essentially similar outlooks.
Somewhat similar dating challenges.

Let me ask you this,
are you like me in that you will absolutely, positively exhaust all possible brainstorming and problemsolving techniques in a faltering romantic relationship because this 'one thing might work to save the "us" ?'
Like, its like admitting you gave up too early.

 

[BeExcellent]

You're awesome.
Same exposure. Different beginning and trajectory but essentially similar outlooks.
Somewhat similar dating challenges.

Let me ask you this,
are you like me in that you will absolutely, positively exhaust all possible brainstorming and problemsolving techniques in a faltering romantic relationship because this 'one thing might work to save the "us" ?'
Like, its like admitting you gave up too early.

100%. Probably to my detriment honestly. I stayed far too long in my marriage with issues my ex husband showed zero motivation to resolve...and my recent ex has of course reached out to me doggedly. We are in contact but he’s in another state aiding his dying father, a process I’ve gone through, and so I offer my support etc. I’ve not seen him in a month & it’s still quite locked down where he is...

So yes.

 

[BeExcellent]

Step sons is a fallacy. Ever meet a women who was good at stepping?

Great nen dont raise other mens offspring. Not in the feel good "steppy" way the bs construct has sold us. Friends? Yes but dad? No.
Can it work? Maybe but its not easy.

I actually have seen it work. It requires tremendous maturity and self control. My sister has been a successful step parent, my ex boyfriend has been a successful step parent, and I know other examples. It is not easy at all.

And I agree with you that a man who worships his wife is not setting a good example, but Ive also seen long time married couples who appear still very much in love who have that dynamic. Every relationship is different driven by the two individual partners. So things cannot always be categorized neatly. There will always exist the occasional outlier in any data set. That’s how life is.