How long was your longest Oneitis?

[Robert28]

This was true for me. Happened back in 2003. I'm so glad it did. Problem with some guys is they get zeroed out, some multiple times, and STILL don't get it.

Thank God I'm not one of them.

Hey as long as they eventually learn that’s all that counts. Sometimes you learn after one time so you know to try something different next time, maybe you get burned again, but you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes. I’ve gotten burned a lot by women, only twice in the same way but the other times stung just as bad. I could have the attitude that I’d spit in every woman’s face for my past experiences sometime, but then I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t have plenty of good experiences that made up for those bad ones.

 

[Aniki1818]

Here's the list of mistakes I made prior to reading the work of Rollo Tomassi.

- Initiated contact more than I should've. I've always chased with reasonable success rate. Woman do like it to a certain extent. but with this one I found myself doing the most even she wasn't reciprocating. She eventually did go out with me.

- always praising her beauty. She was the hottest one I've been with so far. Ex stripper. Although I have reasons to believe sheill return to the club due being broke after Covid. I let it be known she was out of my league more often then not.

- Acted jealous.
- Bought gifts too soon. (Again, way out of my character, she receives enough gifts from random chumps)
- eventually, after the honeymoon phase. She gave me the let's just be friends speech. I tried to reason with her (Tomassi rule, you can never negotiate desire) and eventually broke and agreed. Although I knew I should of said goodbye. I truly thought she was different. And what we had was an exception to the rule.

- tried to rekindle months later with minimal success. Only to have her fxk another dude.

- I used too much self deprecating humor to prove false humility. I couldn't be totally myself around her cause she was so hot.

- Stupidest one, I don't even know why I caught myself doing this. I became charitable to strangers in front of her when we were walking downtown and encountered a homeless man. Usually I just walk past them. WTF was I trying to prove lol.

I have never been in this position. She was a siren. She stopped time for me. I was all in. And I was in too soon.

Read the Rational Male and realized exactly when and where I fcked up. Still looking for a time machine.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Here's the list of mistakes I made prior to reading the work of Rollo Tomassi.

- Initiated contact more than I should've. I've always chased with reasonable success rate. Woman like it when I do it agressivley. but with this one I found myself doing the most even she wasn't reciprocating. She eventually did go out with me.

- always praising her beauty. She was the hottest one I've been with so far. Ex stripper. Although I have reasons to believe sheill return to the club due being broke after Covid. I let it be known she was out of my least more often then not.

- Acted jealous.
- Bought gifts too soon.
- eventually, after the honeymoon phase. She gave me the let's just be friends speech. I tried to reason with her (Tomassi rule, you can never negotiate desire) and eventually broke and agreed. Although I knew I should of said goodbye. I truly thought she was different. And what we had was an exception to the rule.

- tried to rekindle months later with minimal success. Only to have her fxk another dude.

- I used too much self deprecating humor to prove false humility. I couldn't be totally myself around her cause she was so hot.

I have never been in this position. She was a siren. She stopped time for me. I was all in. And I was in too soon.

Read the Rational Male and realized exactly when and where I fcked up. Still looking for a time machine.

I like how you wrote this. Before and after reading Rollo's book.
member Robert28 wrote that only men get redpilled but I'd like to do what you just did with your ex by comparing pre-pill to post-pill.
Too bad for your loss, new strippers turning 18 every day.

 

[Aniki1818]

I like how you wrote this. Before and after reading Rollo's book.
member Robert28 wrote that only men get redpilled but I'd like to do what you just did with your ex by comparing pre-pill to post-pill.
Too bad for your loss, new strippers turning 18 every day.

Dude I didn't realize how bad it actually was until i wrote it out just now fck.

 

[Robert28]

Here's the list of mistakes I made prior to reading the work of Rollo Tomassi.

- Initiated contact more than I should've. I've always chased with reasonable success rate. Woman do like it to a certain extent. but with this one I found myself doing the most even she wasn't reciprocating. She eventually did go out with me.

- always praising her beauty. She was the hottest one I've been with so far. Ex stripper. Although I have reasons to believe sheill return to the club due being broke after Covid. I let it be known she was out of my league more often then not.

- Acted jealous.
- Bought gifts too soon. (Again, way out of my character, she receives enough gifts from random chumps)
- eventually, after the honeymoon phase. She gave me the let's just be friends speech. I tried to reason with her (Tomassi rule, you can never negotiate desire) and eventually broke and agreed. Although I knew I should of said goodbye. I truly thought she was different. And what we had was an exception to the rule.

- tried to rekindle months later with minimal success. Only to have her fxk another dude.

- I used too much self deprecating humor to prove false humility. I couldn't be totally myself around her cause she was so hot.

- Stupidest one, I don't even know why I caught myself doing this. I became charitable to strangers in front of her when we were walking downtown and encountered a homeless man. Usually I just walk past them. WTF was I trying to prove lol.

I have never been in this position. She was a siren. She stopped time for me. I was all in. And I was in too soon.

Read the Rational Male and realized exactly when and where I fcked up. Still looking for a time machine.

I think we’ve all done that stuff many times. Maybe not everything on that list (never gave money to a bum while on a date) but I’ve done a lot of the other stuff. My last oneitis also fvcked some dude, at first it made me feel like ****, but now I laugh about it because the guy was like late 30’s and wore his hats backwards. It’s like he was trying to be 20 again. It also made me kick myself in the ass for chasing so hard after a low class woman if that guy met her standards. She tried to get in contact with me a few years later, she got told to basically fvck off.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Dude I didn't realize how bad it actually was until i wrote it out just now fck.

No!
You are superior to have this selfawareness.
You know how much growth is in your sentences?
Stellar insights. That's valuable stuff to reread and learn from. Can't unlearn that now!

 

[synecdoche]

My longest lasted a couple of months and the reason it lasted so long was because I really thought the woman had potential and I feel like we didn't reach our expiration date of the LTR yet. I no longer miss her but I think we could have some great months/years. To numb the pain I just got drunk each weekend, stopped caring and was 100% direct to women. Had a lot of success, quantity wise not quality wise.

Anyway to protect yourself if you catch oneitis just break contact with her. You don't want to waste a couple of years of your life feeling miserable when you can just bite the hard pill for a couple of months but feel so much better afterwards.

After every breakup I had with a women for whom I had some sort of feelings for it motivated me a lot to self develop. And I learned a **** ton every time so I don't feel bitter about those breakups.

 

[Dr.Suave]

2012 to this day. It might end if I meet a girl a like even more, then she can be my new one-itis

 

[Aniki1818]

2012 to this day. It might end if I meet a girl a like even more, then she can be my new one-itis

With or without contact all these years?

 

[Dr.Suave]

With or without contact all these years?

No contact most of the time on her side.

 

[JayAce]

No contact most of the time on her side.

how long did you guys go out for?
if you guys went out

 

[Dr.Suave]

how long did you guys go out for?
if you guys went out

We just went out a couple of times but after the first time we went out, she was #1 on my high score list, and she's been there ever since

 

[Aniki1818]

We just went out a couple of times but after the first time we went out, she was #1 on my high score list, and she's been there ever since

Relatable. Tomorrow would be 2 months no contact. I still think about her daily. Thoughts interrupt me even during my workout... thinking about how there's nothing to do during Quarantine and she's barebacking this new guy day and night.

 

[coyote_astro]

Oh man, this thread brought me back to my worst oneitis ever, with this girl for 1,5 yr back in 2013-2014.

In my eyes she was the most beautiful creature in the whole universe, I absolutely loved her. I managed to make her my gf, but, as usually in these situations, I became too attached, got needy, jealous, emotional and all that ****.

She went to spend a semester abroad, and of course broke up with me. I was devastated, and could not get her out of my mind. It was like a powerful spell. Looking back, I am like "WTF was I thinking..?"

I initiated NC, but still was not fully over her when she came back from abroad months later. I accidentally came across her at some point, and felt horrible. As if something broke inside me.

I only was really able to get over her when I moved to the US and never saw her again. This experience taught me to take stuff like in this forum seriously and to take care of myself etc. In retrospect, I needed it. But man, was it hard...

I am sure more or less we all have at least one such story to share, from our "previous" sevles.

 

[Aniki1818]

Looking back, I am like "WTF was I thinking..?"

I am looking forward to this day. I really am.