Why are our moms doing this?!?

[LuksSkywalker]

All my life I've been taught to be nice, polite and kind to girls. To listen to them and help them when they need help (which is always). My mom raised me In belief that this is the right way to treat them even though my father isn't anything like that.
Then, all of a sudden you're 27 and you get dumped for being nice, polite and kind. For trying to help them and listening to their problems.
Then, you come to this forum and you find out you've been given the wrong set of rules by the person you love and respect the most and who's highest interest is for you to be happy.
Btw she's a woman so she should know how male-female relationships work.
I just don't get it....

 

[metalwater]

something like; what women tell themself and others that they want is not the truth. sometimes they don't even know it themself or part of them knows it and another part hides it or denies it. that leaves it up to the dad to teach, doesn't usually happen.

 

[logicallefty]

OP what you explain is a complicated topic, one I have pondered over a lot, and a huge problem for millions of men. The only reason I can come up with for why mothers do this to their sons is because they know deep inside the darkest places in their heads what kinds of men make their own vags tingle and gush, and what kinds do not. And they are ashamed of that reality. The men they WISH made them tingle aren't the men who actually do. They are so ashamed that they can't face the reality of it when raising their sons. So instead, they teach their sons to be the sappy gentlemen they WISHED made their own vags tingle and gush and not those alpha behaviors that actually do that they are so ashamed of. Subconciously they may also think that if they teach their sons to be gentlemen with women that maybe they are doing their part for society to help make a collective change. Because they not only know that it's alpha like men who make them tingle, they know it's the same for all women, and they are ashamed of it not only for themselves but on behalf of the whole female collective. And believe me, women really are a collective. They are more of a collective than the entire fvcking Internet! OP, maybe I am right, maybe I am not. But that's the best I can come up with.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Go read the Book of Pook again. He talks about it in The Secret of the Jerk.

Women say this because the masculine traits they are actually attracted to is something that men should inherently have. Women really do want men who are sweet, kind, and sensitive/thoughtful, but they want those traits in men who are strong, tough, and dominant. They are attracted to men who are rough and rugged and have that aggressive testosterone drive because that is just what MAN is—masculinity. Having those traits means you can protect her. But having the sweet, soft, tenderness means you will care about her.

The reason why nice guys fail is because chicks know that they want to sleep with them, it’s obvious. It’s so easy to tell, it’s not genuine. Everyone knows they’re only being nice to sleep with her, they’re just fake and weak and wimpy. But a strong man, he is none of those things. He is authentic. He isn’t afraid, he isn’t weak, he’s strong. He’s a MAN. The reason why girls complain about these guys is because oftentimes these dudes can’t control themselves and are rough and tough even with their girl. That’s why chicks always say their ex is an asshole but yet can’t get over him—he’s STRONG, he has those good genes that her monkey brain is telling her to mate with. But just like he is rough and rugged with himself, he was with her. And that is why she is hurt, because femininity is not rough and tough like masculinity. It’s softer and more nurturing, and because of that, it bruises easily. Just because you are nice doesn’t mean you have to be weak. And conversely, just because you are strong doesn’t mean you have to be a dick. That’s why chicks fantasize about that ‘bad boy with a sweet spot’. He’s got both.

This is the secret to how you get women to gush for you. You’re welcome.

 

[7onriverI f]

buy a motorcycle, do boxing and lift some weights. Your born to be wild.

 

[Xenom0rph]

All my life I've been taught to be nice, polite and kind to girls. To listen to them and help them when they need help (which is always). My mom raised me In belief that this is the right way to treat them even though my father isn't anything like that.
Then, all of a sudden you're 27 and you get dumped for being nice, polite and kind. For trying to help them and listening to their problems.
Then, you come to this forum and you find out you've been given the wrong set of rules by the person you love and respect the most and who's highest interest is for you to be happy.
Btw she's a woman so she should know how male-female relationships work.
I just don't get it....

Bruh, I'm sorry you had to learn this lesson late in life, but better late than never: NEVER listen to anything a woman says.....especially if she's giving advice.....

One of the greatest obstacles in life is weeding through the bullsh1t that people say and do and figuring out who's a liability and who's an asset....

You'll find that the vast majority of people are a liability even if they had good intentions....

 

[AttackFormation]

OP what you explain is a complicated topic, one I have pondered over a lot, and a huge problem for millions of men. The only reason I can come up with for why mothers do this to their sons is because they know deep inside the darkest places in their heads what kinds of men make their own vags tingle and gush, and what kinds do not. And they are ashamed of that reality. The men they WISH made them tingle aren't the men who actually do. They are so ashamed that they can't face the reality of it when raising their sons. So instead, they teach their sons to be the sappy gentlemen they WISHED made their own vags tingle and gush and not those alpha behaviors that actually do that they are so ashamed of. Subconciously they may also think that if they teach their sons to be gentlemen with women that maybe they are doing their part for society to help make a collective change. Because they not only know that it's alpha like men who make them tingle, they know it's the same for all women, and they are ashamed of it not only for themselves but on behalf of the whole female collective. And believe me, women really are a collective. They are more of a collective than the entire fvcking Internet! OP, maybe I am right, maybe I am not. But that's the best I can come up with.

This could definitely be part of it.

I'd add my speculation that theyre torn between arousal and control. A man being uncontrollable is integral for arousal, but control of men makes them both feel secure and/or makes the man more reliably 'useful' to them. So they promote what's "safe" for themselves out of a misaligned gut feeling. On top of that like metalwater says, it could be that they simply dont know and dont think about it, defaulting to saying what makes themselves feel fuzzy/like a good person. I think that last explanation is part of most any case to some degree, whether another reason is involved or not.

But remember that not all moms do this. My mom never talked about women or how i should behave with them at all. And in my adult years when i rarely and situationally made women a talking subject, she still didnt bring anything up herself, but readily agrees with the red/black pill points i bring up and is pretty much outspokenly anti-feminist. In fact it was usually in the context of her antifeminism that i started discussing those points.

 

[LuksSkywalker]

OP what you explain is a complicated topic, one I have pondered over a lot, and a huge problem for millions of men. The only reason I can come up with for why mothers do this to their sons is because they know deep inside the darkest places in their heads what kinds of men make their own vags tingle and gush, and what kinds do not. And they are ashamed of that reality. The men they WISH made them tingle aren't the men who actually do. They are so ashamed that they can't face the reality of it when raising their sons. So instead, they teach their sons to be the sappy gentlemen they WISHED made their own vags tingle and gush and not those alpha behaviors that actually do that they are so ashamed of. Subconciously they may also think that if they teach their sons to be gentlemen with women that maybe they are doing their part for society to help make a collective change. Because they not only know that it's alpha like men who make them tingle, they know it's the same for all women, and they are ashamed of it not only for themselves but on behalf of the whole female collective. And believe me, women really are a collective. They are more of a collective than the entire fvcking Internet! OP, maybe I am right, maybe I am not. But that's the best I can come up with.

Fair enough. It's really heavy topic

 

[LuksSkywalker]

OP you are a sheep/cuck/simp. And blaming your mom isn't going to change anything. You even said yourself "My father isn't anything like that." So you KNEW what it looked it to be a proper man. Of course you did. Kids learn through osmosis and role-modeling more than they do through advice and words. So you are lieing to us that your mother had that much of an effect on you even into your 20s. Your father was dominant and you were just too much of simp to live up to him. You want women to love you for being weak and you had a rude awakening. It's a lawless world and the weak die off.

Playing victim and blaming your mom is weak behavior. It's not even possible for a mother to convince her son to treat women nicely. Mothers can't even get their sons to do their homework, come home before 6, make their beds, stop playing video games, always floss after dinner, and be nice to grandma. At 27 years old you want us to believe somehow she was able to control your dating life? LOL.

Evolutionary speaking, teenage boys automatically and instinctively rebel against their mothers. Every teenage boy wants to create a rift between himself and his mother. This is the age of separation and Ego. Back in the tribal days they knew about this internal rift, and drastic measures were taken to separate boys from their mothers and then reintegrate them back into the tribe as grown men with new identities. This is called a "rites of passage."

So what you are trying to tell me (my mother victimized me) is not even possible according to evolution and thousands of years of human history. We would all extinct as a human race if we didn't instinctively rebel against other mothers at puberty.

Go read the DJ bible and stop playing victim. Noone here is going to give you a hug. In a men's locker room, it's just a b1tch slap to the face for pretending to be a victim and trying to gain sympathy points.

Your behavior is why you are where you are now. MORE OF this type of behavior is not going help you. It's not your mom. It's YOU.

Take responsibility and man the fvck up.

Bro relax. I'm not blaming anyone but myself. First people that teach you about life are your mom and dad and that's why the subject came out.
From logical point of view, your parents should be people who care about you more than anyone else in this world (except for yourself). They are older and have more experience in life. They've been through some **** before you and probably learned something from that. So that's why I asked the question. From logical point of view. Good parents want what's best for you. Why then push you in wrong direction

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Go read the Book of Pook again. He talks about it in The Secret of the Jerk.

Women say this because the masculine traits they are actually attracted to is something that men should inherently have. Women really do want men who are sweet, kind, and sensitive/thoughtful, but they want those traits in men who are strong, tough, and dominant. They are attracted to men who are rough and rugged and have that aggressive testosterone drive because that is just what MAN is—masculinity. Having those traits means you can protect her. But having the sweet, soft, tenderness means you will care about her.

The reason why nice guys fail is because chicks know that they want to sleep with them, it’s obvious. It’s so easy to tell, it’s not genuine. Everyone knows they’re only being nice to sleep with her, they’re just fake and weak and wimpy. But a strong man, he is none of those things. He is authentic. He isn’t afraid, he isn’t weak, he’s strong. He’s a MAN. The reason why girls complain about these guys is because oftentimes these dudes can’t control themselves and are rough and tough even with their girl. That’s why chicks always say their ex is an asshole but yet can’t get over him—he’s STRONG, he has those good genes that her monkey brain is telling her to mate with. But just like he is rough and rugged with himself, he was with her. And that is why she is hurt, because femininity is not rough and tough like masculinity. It’s softer and more nurturing, and because of that, it bruises easily. Just because you are nice doesn’t mean you have to be weak. And conversely, just because you are strong doesn’t mean you have to be a dick. That’s why chicks fantasize about that ‘bad boy with a sweet spot’. He’s got both.

This is the secret to how you get women to gush for you. You’re welcome.

Good job Double. Print this out and frame it. Going to read more Pook now....

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Fair enough. It's really heavy topic

You gave me good, kind advice when you first came on the board and I have the impression you're still masculine so it seems you turned out good Luks. Don't forget to recognise your success (humbly).

 

[Black Widow Void]

Most of us have a model of the gal we desire... yet (self included) have been involved with some femme fatale. Even when the signs were there, we played the denial game.

Because men are typically ruled by logic, we learn from our past mistakes. Women are usually more emotional and continue to repeat cycles - which go against logic.

Never judge a person on what they "feel." Judge them by what they do.
As the old saying goes... "actions speak louder that words."

 

[NSX-R]

My father told me to never listen to my mother .

 

[corrector]

Then, all of a sudden you're 27 and you get dumped for being nice, polite and kind. For trying to help them and listening to their problems.

If you got dumped, then it means you had a relationship with someone. If you had a relationship with someone that means you attracted them to you in the first place. Dumped is a back-end rejection not a front-end, which means you must have done something right to even get there in the first place.

How long was the relationship for? How old was she? Did you really have a relationship or was this a oneitis (i.e. relationship in your head only)?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Bro relax. I'm not blaming anyone but myself. First people that teach you about life are your mom and dad and that's why the subject came out.
From logical point of view, your parents should be people who care about you more than anyone else in this world (except for yourself). They are older and have more experience in life. They've been through some **** before you and probably learned something from that. So that's why I asked the question. From logical point of view. Good parents want what's best for you. Why then push you in wrong direction

SHOULD care more. This is not necessarily true. At a certain age a man must take responsibility for himself and his life.

 

[Baibars]

SHOULD care more. This is not necessarily true. At a certain age a man must take responsibility for himself and his life.

I also see it that way.
My father and my mum have flaws but they also have good qualities. They raised me and brought me to this age. The wrong things they tought me were because they themselves didnt know better.
All the wrong things i've learned definetly influenced my character and my life until i got old enough to identify these flaws i have and was able to change them.
It's wrong to say that parents can't influence you and your life but it's also wrong to declare them guilty for everything and to use this as an excuse to not change for the better.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I also see it that way.
My father and my mum have flaws but they also have good qualities. They raised me and brought me to this age. The wrong things they tought me were because they themselves didnt know better.
All the wrong things i've learned definetly influenced my character and my life until i got old enough to identify these flaws i have and was able to change them.
It's wrong to say that parents can't influence you and your life but it's also wrong to declare them guilty for everything and to use this as an excuse to not change for the better.

Some parents don't like their children others resented them. So some literally fed them poison their entire lives.

 

[sosousage]

All my life I've been taught to be nice, polite and kind to girls. To listen to them and help them when they need help (which is always). My mom raised me In belief that this is the right way to treat them even though my father isn't anything like that.
Then, all of a sudden you're 27 and you get dumped for being nice, polite and kind. For trying to help them and listening to their problems.
Then, you come to this forum and you find out you've been given the wrong set of rules by the person you love and respect the most and who's highest interest is for you to be happy.
Btw she's a woman so she should know how male-female relationships work.
I just don't get it....

it can only mean one thing, women are not self aware at all

 

[Baibars]

Biologically speaking, a teenage boy instinctively shuns his mother at puberty. She is of no more use to him after that age. They say "The sins of the father are repeated by the sons", not "The sins of the mother are repeated by the sons."

That's why I questioned the OP's intentions. It takes a "special" guy to be that heavily influenced by his mother into his late 20's.

The problem is not mothers. They will be mothers. The problem is the fixation to the mother after a certain age. It's unhealthy and infantile. That's the REAL issue.

That makes sense but in my case then it wasn't like nature intended it because my father was very violent and hard towards me while my mother always protected me when he got aggressive. That moved me away from my father.
That could be the reason for some of my personal flaws. But then again it isnt so unusual to be more fixated to the mother after a certain age nowadays because there are so many cases with single moms and unsuitable fathers.

For me it seems like its more '' special '' to not fall into one of these categories today

 

[Baibars]

Every guy with a violent father I know grew up to be a tough fighter. Every single guy. They have twitches about them that makes them easily triggered. And they all clean up with women.

And the guys I know who grew up with single moms all joined gangs and started dealing drugs. They seeked masculine influences outside the household. Some of them are entrepreneurs and business owners now.

In my own experience and observations, being a momma's boy is a choice. Soft guys, regardless of the father, end up being momma's boys. You can choose to throw yourself into the wind and fight, or go back to your mother's womb.

Now you might come out violent and be susceptible to being triggered. But at least you won't have cuck/simp problems, lol.

Ok and how do you get a soft guy and when do you decide to be one? That must be something you couldnt consciously control then. Something that starts to evolve when you are a child.

I have two older brothers, both of them were tough and never put up with anything. I was the silent boy, the thinker, the mommy boy. That wasnt my choice.